"High Stakes"
by darthelwig
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I do not own Saiyuki.
Rated T…just because.
Gojyo had always had a thing for babes with sexy eyes. Gojyo/Hakkai & Gojyo/Sanzo.
Obviously, there is a major SLASH WARNING for this fic.
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Maybe it was the eyes.
Yeah, had to be. He'd always had a thing for babes with sexy eyes. It was more of a weakness, really, but he couldn't truly mind it. He'd never been good at denying himself anything that pretty.
And he saw absolutely no reason to do so, especially when two of the most beautiful sets of eyes he had ever seen were right there.
He was in paradise. He knew it.
Admittedly, Sanzo hadn't given in to his flirtatious advances yet, but Gojyo had known since the night they'd met that the monk had felt the sudden shiver of awareness pass between them. Gojyo had asked the monk that night if he knew what the color of his hair meant, had leaned in close to hear the answer, and had been surprised to see an unexpected flame of desire ignite deep in the priest's violet depths. Gojyo could feel an answering tingle along his skin as waves of the man's tightly controlled need washed over him.
If things had been different, if they hadn't needed to find Hakkai, or Gonou or whatever, so damn badly, he could have had the priest right then. It would have been all too easy. He could see the man's control stretched thin at that moment, stressed by the completely unexpected lust racing through his body. Sanzo had stood there rigidly, silently grappling with his unanticipated hunger for the red-haired man currently invading his personal space. He'd been unable to move, unable to trust himself to make any movement while he wanted so badly to satiate that need.
Gojyo had seen the struggle in the monk's eyes as he stood there, and cursed the universe for making this happen at such an inopportune moment. If it had been anyone else, any other person than Hakkai who needed him, things might have been different, but it was Hakkai and he needed saved.
So Gojyo had let the moment pass and watched as the priest reined in his raging need, covering his discomfort with cold, dismissive words. The desire which had one second ago been so achingly tangible quickly dissipated, leaving Gojyo somewhat saddened, strangely enough. But he'd had no time then to examine what that feeling could mean. They went on their way once again.
Gojyo didn't know what the monk had done with all that burning passion, but it never erupted in quite that way again. He'd seen small flickers of it occasionally, echoes of what had once been so hot and bright between them, but nothing on the scale of what he'd loosed that night.
And maybe that was for the best. As intrigued as Gojyo was by it, he did have other, potentially more spiritually fulfilling, prospects… like Hakkai himself.
Sure, they were the best of friends and all, but why did that mean they couldn't be more? They had made a connection, forged a bond that could never be broken. As time went on, it had less to do with their mutual feelings of shame than with a genuine caring and affection.
Gojyo could no longer imagine his life without Hakkai's gentle laughter and odd humor. They had helped each other deal with their psychological wounds, making both of them stronger, better men. They shared everything now… hopes, dreams, fears…. It had once been difficult for Gojyo to open up his bitter memories to anyone, but he could do that with Hakkai now.
Hakkai was the one person who understood Gojyo's hurt and didn't treat him like some kind of freak for it. It was that simple.
Just looking into Hakkai's eyes, so filled with compassion and understanding, was enough to lift Gojyo's spirits. If it wasn't love he felt, it was so damn close that the difference was no difference at all.
And as often as he found strength in Hakkai's eyes, he discovered pain as well. Hakkai was still healing from the wounds his sister's… his lover's… death and his own murderous rampage had given him. The pain was always just a thin scratch below the surface, and Gojyo had seen it often enough to know exactly what it looked like.
At times like that, he provided the strength, and he liked it. It was good to know that he could comfort Hakkai, even if only a little. He treasured the man more than anything. There was nothing he wouldn't do for him. If Hakkai had even once given Gojyo any sign that he wanted a more intimate relationship, Gojyo would have jumped at the chance. Hakkai's eyes lit a flame inside of him that was more gentle, but no less potent, than the one Sanzo ignited.
Sanzo was his lust, but Hakkai was his heart.
And here he was stuck between them.
He would have laughed, but it was probably inappropriate. Not that it really mattered to him what was appropriate or not, but it would feel like a lessening of the feelings he was experiencing, and he couldn't permit that.
They all deserved better. Even if the world didn't think so.
He would sort this out one day. Things had a way of working themselves out, after all, and they still had a long way to go on this journey of theirs. Time enough to resolve the dilemma. He could wait. After all, he was Sha Gojyo. If there was one thing he was willing to put time and effort into, it was seduction. And he didn't like to lose.
He could be a very patient man when he needed to be, and this time the stakes were high.