Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of the characters depicted in this story. I own nothing and I make nothing off of it. Now enjoy.
=D
Dear Mello,
I've spent so many years hiding what I've felt, that I think for a while I even had myself fooled. There are so many years of silence, so many thoughts that I would never have dared to vocalize. So many instances when my body itched to have yours near me. So many nights I couldn't sleep because the spot next to me was too cold and empty. Never for a moment did I see you as my rival, as you did me. If only I had the courage to tell you the truth then, we wouldn't have to be like this now. I love you, Mello. That is all I've ever wanted to say.
-Near
I regret to say, I have yet to find the courage to convey these thoughts into something more tangible. So far, all I've written is Dear Mello. I wonder sometimes, if my letter will ever be completed. Never in my life have I not known what to do, but you Mello, you make me question every decision I make. I can never feel confident that the moves I'm making are the right ones. I can't help but to wonder when it was exactly that I had lost all control. In what moment in time did my reserve falter?
Gently, I hold the last remaining photograph of Mello between my thumb and pointer finger. The feelings that rush through my being, both physical and mental, are completely foreign to me and perhaps it's safe to say that it's even parasitic. It's as if my brain has completely shut down. It's as if all the reasoning in the world could not make sense of the tightening in my chest and the burning in my loins when I think of you. I think back to the circumstances that had brought me to Whammy's House, the circumstances that led to our meeting in the first place.
The village in Thailand from which I came had been obliterated by an unknown virus. All I could do at the tender age of 6 was stand and watch as my family and neighbors were overcome by the hemorrhagic symptoms. I could do nothing, so I ran and hid instead. A man who went by the name of F had discovered my hiding place behind a stone wall and promised to bring me somewhere safe, to a place called Whammy's House. With my parents dead and the United States military steadily making their way towards where I hide, leaving with F seemed like my only option.
F had picked me up and began to run with me to an old pickup truck that had once belonged to a market owner who now lies dead by the truck's bed. Placing me in the passenger's seat F began to drive. I did not know exactly where he was taking me. I only knew that we had to leave the village now. Finally the fear is beginning to make itself known. I sneak a glance at F only to find a steady stream of blood pouring from his ear. I knew that he didn't have much time and either did I, I would never be able to escape from the United States military on my own. As if reading my thoughts F quickly drove the car off of the main road and into the forest to the right. Getting out of the car and taking me with him, F kneeled down in front of me and told me to make my way to the nearest town while giving me a number to call. "Call this number and ask for Watari. He will be able to help you." Taking off a necklace that held a pendant with the letter "F" engraved, he slipped it around my neck and left. Moments later I heard the steady spinning of helicopter blades and saw the mushroom cloud of the explosion that I'm sure had been the death of F. Completely alone now I begin to make my way through the forest to the next village over.
After a full day of walking I find myself at a payphone dialing the number F had given me before he died. A soft voice answered the phone.
"This is L."
"I need to speak with Watari, please."
"Watari is unavailable."
"Please, my name is Nate Rivers and F told me that Watari can help me!"
What I heard next did not make sense to me until later. I realized right away that this L was speaking to himself.
"Hmm, a gift from F? I will accept this gift."
With that L instructed me not to hang up the phone for he was "Tracking my current location." And to remain near the telephone. That same day I was brought to Whammy's House. Holding tightly onto L's hand who had walked me through the front gate of the enormous estate, we were met by a man who had called himself Rodger. L kneeled down to my level and told me that this was to be my new home. It was far too much to take in all at once, so I said nothing and showed nothing. I simply nodded, nothing really registering at the moment. Just as I had expected L to rise and take his leave he looked up to Rodger with a sort of pleading in his eyes.
"Rodger, may I name the boy?" L asked.
Rodger raised his eyebrows at that, clearly taken by surprise by L's request.
"I think that Watari would like that."
Still kneeling before me L smiled and placed both hands on my shoulders. For a long moment we stayed that way, L searching for something in my eyes. L's smile grew and he stood, still smiling down at me.
"Nate Rivers, your new name will be Near."
Completely lost in his memories, Near failed to hear the soft rapping at his bedroom door. Onyx eyes slowly returning to present day he immediately recognizes the knocking as Halle's.
"You may enter Lidner." came a soft monotonous voice.
A tall woman with long blond hair falling straight down her back walked into the room, stiletto heels clicking against the cold tile floor. Near's room was pristine and as white as the boy himself. In his usual posture at the floor of his bed sat Near. Snowy curls fall half hazardly around his boyish face, alabaster skin a harsh contrast to the deep onyx orbs that stare blankly up at her.
"Mello is on the phone. He's asking for you. What should I tell him?"
Mello… wants to speak with me?
As soon as the thought had finished processing Near felt his heart begin to race and his lungs just couldn't seem to get enough oxygen. The twisting and turning in Near's stomach continued as his mind brought him back into his memories, but this time it was of something more pleasant. This time his mind brought him to Mello.
"Right this way Near." Rodger said trying to regain my attention. I was much to fixated on the silhouette of L leaving the estate… without me. I understood that this was our arrangement, but my understanding wasn't enough to prevent the pang of loneliness in my chest. L was odd, true, but he was kind and intelligent. I very much enjoyed his company. L was the first person since my parent's death to truly take care of me. My only complaint was the food. If I never taste a sweet again it's too soon.
I barely even realized that I had started walking until I looked up and saw Him. Golden blond locks of hair falling perfectly straight to broad shoulders. Cerulean eyes, contrasting beautifully with his sun kissed skin, were enough to pierce through to my very soul. An angel? I felt my knees become weak and before I knew it I was laying face first in the grass. I heard Rodger gasp and felt him lift me in his arms. I could feel the heat rush to my cheeks.
"What a first impression…" is all I could seem to think. "I apologize; it's been a long day."
"That's quite alright Near. I'll bring you to the Infirmary; have our nurse take a look at you before we settle you into your room."
I nodded my head in agreement. I snuck a glance back at my angel only to see his perfect pink lips turn upward into a sly smile. I can see by the look in his eyes that he knew that he was the cause of my lack of strength, not the prior events of that day. I could feel my face grow hotter.
"Well, it can't get any worse I suppose."
If only I knew then what I know now.
"Near?"
Once again brought back to reality, Near looked up at Halle again. Taking a deep breath he opens his mouth to speak;
"You may give me the phone please."
Author's Note: Well, thank you every one for reading! I hoped that you enjoyed it. Review if you'd like, constructive criticism is welcome.