The Not-Date

Summary: James Potter has become too uptight for his friends' liking, so they enlist the help of Lily Evans to bring him back to reality.

Author notes: This was originally going to be a one-shot but I decided to make it a 3-part story. It's AU for character personalities. Think of Lily as a more free-spirited girl. Also, Sirius and Lily's relationship is strictly friends with benefits and it is relevant to the plot, I promise!

Lily Evans was many things, but hard of hearing wasn't one of them.

So why did it sound like Sirius Black and Remus Lupin were standing in front of her asking her to take James Potter on a date?

"So let me get this straight," Lily said slowly. "You want me to ask Potter out because he isn't… pranking with you anymore?"

"Yes!" Sirius and Remus exclaimed together, before pausing. "Er… well, no… kind of?" They glanced at each other.

Lily stared up at the two Marauders. Then she turned to Sirius. "Is this punishment because I wouldn't snog you last weekend?" Lily exclaimed, "Because I told you I was busy and I wasn't lying. Swear."

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "I know you were lying; Wormtail saw you with Creevey." Lily blushed as Remus snorted. "But this isn't about that."

"It was strictly platonic really… mostly…" Lily said weakly.

Sirius waved his hand. "Lil, you know I don't care. Don't pretend like you do."

Lily sat back, obviously relieved. "Thank Merlin. But seriously, Potter?"

Sirius and Remus nodded furiously. "Potter. Ever since he became Head Boy, he has been a stick in the mud." Sirius said. "It's bloody awful!"

"So he's taking his responsibilities seriously. What's wrong with that?" Lily asked skeptically.

"It's not just that," Remus said. "It's like his whole damn personality is different."

Lily raised an eyebrow.

"It's true!" Sirius insisted. "Example number one: he got a girlfriend."

"I'm not an idiot, Black." Lily retorted. "James Potter has always had girlfriends."

"Exactly," Sirius replied smugly, "girlfriends. Emphasis on the plural. Now he only has one."

"Oy, Potter!"

James Potter spun around, looking for the person yelling his name. Spotting Lily at the other end of the corridor, he stepped aside to wait for her.

"Bloody… time… you slowed down," she gasped. "I've been chasing you since the North tower!"

"Sorry Evans," James said, "I guess I didn't hear you."

"S'alright. So listen, I'll get right to the point since we have…" Lily paused to check her watch, "five minutes until we're late for our meeting with Dumbledore. I hear you're in need of a fun night out, and I happen to be free tomorrow. Whaddya say?"

James narrowed his eyes. "Did Sirius put you up to this?"

Lily shrugged. "Maybe. But really, does it matter?"

"Yes, quite frankly it does. Sirius is under the impression that I'm 'different' that I used to be, and it's bloody annoying!" James exclaimed.

Lily held up her hands. "Don't bite my head off, Potter." Lily replied. "I'm not here to sneak you to an intervention. Black just mentioned that you were a bit down, and I thought I'd help you do some cheering up."

"Right. Well, thanks anyway, but I'm just fine." James spat, before turning to walk away.

Lily grabbed his arm. "I'm clearly a last resort in their plan to get you back to normal. Think of it as finally getting Sirius and Remus off your back."

James paused.

"Come on, Potter. It's one night. There are worst things than spending time with me outside of Head duties."

He turned back around to face her. "Okay. Fine," he sighed. "Now let's go, we're bloody late."

The next night, Lily waited for James in the Common Room. He was late, but she didn't mind. She was mildly surprised she wasn't late herself.

As she waited for Potter, Lily thought back on the past seven years. Her time at Hogwarts was nearly over, and how she had changed since her first year. When Lily got her letter, all those years ago, her life became so surreal she sometimes thought she was dreaming. Finally, she escaped her flighty mother and her string of unworthy boyfriends. She escaped her hateful sister and all her snide comments. She escaped her dreary life in which she, at 11 years old, was the most mature person in her family.

At Hogwarts, Lily was more than just an afterthought. She was more than just the recipient of every insult, drunken or sober. Every time Lily boarded the train at Platform 9 and three-quarters, she became someone. Someone with thoughts that mattered, with a laugh people loved to hear, with a life worth living.

"I'm late, I know, Melissa and I had another bloody row," James Potter said, interrupting Lily's thoughts. She looked up and smiled.

"Rule number one for this evening's festivities: no talking about Melissa." Lily said, standing up.

"What kind of bloody date has rules?" James asked.

"A not-date. What kind of wanker goes on a date when he has a girlfriend? We are two frien—, acquaint—," She paused. "We are two people going out and having fun."

"More like two people going out. The fun to be had is debateable," James said rudely. "And I'm not a wanker."

"Great, glad we're clear." Lily said sarcastically. "Let's go."

"So what's on the agenda for this evening, Evans?" James asked as they walked towards the castle grounds.

"It's a surprise." Lily said.

James rolled his eyes. "Just tell me. I don't like surprises."

"Now Potter, what fun would it be if I told you all my secrets?" Lily teased.

James stopped to look at her. "You're really not going to tell me?"

"Half the fun is not knowing what's coming next," she said.

"The other half is being in control of the situation," James retorted.

Lily turned around abruptly and walked back until she was right under James's nose. "What are you even doing here, Potter? You've been rude and snappy since the moment you showed up. And you were bloody late! I'm not here to babysit an insolent little boy, so if you don't intend on trying to have fun, then get the bleeding hell out of my face before I hex you into tomorrow."

James stepped back, chastised. He opened his mouth to speak but no words came out. "Evans, I'm s—,"

Lily also stepped back. "Don't worry about it," she said, her voice much softer now. "As long as you swear to be more open-minded and less of a git, there is no need to apologize."

James nodded. "Great. Let's start over," he said, sticking out his hand. "Hello Lily. Lovely to see you this evening. Sorry I'm late."

Lily smiled and shook his hand. "The pleasure is all mine."

As they resumed walking, James turned his head to look at Lily. This was the first time they spent any time together outside of Head duties without anyone else around. He realized that in actuality, he knew hardly anything about Lily.

He knew she was brilliant. She was Head Girl after all. And Sirius was always going on about how funny she was. But brilliant and funny could describe a lot of girls. What's so fantastic about that? What else is there to this Lily Evans?

So lost in his thoughts, it took James a moment to realize that they had stopped walking.

"Here we are!" Lily announced.

James looked around. They were standing just outside the gates of Hogwarts. The only thing around them for several yards was a disgusting old boot.

"Blimey, Evans," James said warily, "you really go all-out for a bloke."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself, Potter. It's a Portkey. We will be starting our rendezvous off grounds tonight."

"Wait, what—"

"Grab on, Potter! Five… four…"

"Evans, I'm not sure about," James protested.

"Three… two… come on, Potter, where's your sense of adventure?"

James sighed, wordlessly grabbing hold of the smelly old shoe.

"One!" Lily cried, and off they went.

Lily opened her eyes the second her feet touched the ground, pleased to find that Sirius and Remus didn't screw up the destination.

"Evans," James gasped, "what the bloody hell is this?"

Lily laughed loudly. "It's a carnival, Potter. A Muggle festival invented to make you feel like a little kid and get fat on greasy, but delicious, food."

James nodded in reply, bobbing up and down like an impatient child. "Fantastic! Where do we start?"

Over the next three hours, Lily and James rode every ride twice, ate more funnel cakes than they could count, and won a few prizes in the arcade section.

"I really wish there weren't so many Muggles around. I want to shrink this bear so I can at least stuff it in my pocket," Lily complained. "It's so bloody heavy!"

James snorted in laughter. "It's your own fault. You picked it."

Lily scoffed. "No way! It's your fault. You just had to knock over all the damn jugs. Half would have been sufficient."

"I can't help it that I'm so strong and masculine," James replied, brushing off his shoulders nonchalantly.

Lily stopped dead in her tracks and looked at him incredulously. "James Potter. Did you just make a joke? Is it possible that you might actually be having—dare I say it—fun?"

James smiled. "I did, Evans. And I reckon I am."

In truth, this was the most fun James Potter had had in a long time.

Lily smiled in return. "Good. Now take this ridiculous bear and hustle along." Lily paused to check her watch. "We have a Portkey to catch." Lily shoved the oversized stuffed animal at James and picked up her pace.

"Back to Hogwarts, already?" James asked, almost sad to leave the carnival.

"Not quite yet, Potter. The night is young." Lily called over her shoulder.

"Young? It must be midnight by now. Where are we going now?"

"What did I say about asking questions, Potter?"

James paused. "Um… I don't think you said anything about that."

Lily stopped to look at him. "Oh. Well I meant to say don't ask too many," she said, before turning around and resuming her stride. "That's rule number two!"

James laughed wholeheartedly, trailing behind Lily and her long, red hair.

The two Gryffindors rounded the corner and stopped at a fire hydrant two blocks from the carnival. Beside the hydrant was the pair of the smelly boot from earlier.

"Why the bloody hell do you keep torturing me with these shoes, Evans?" James exclaimed.

"They're Sirius's. Take it up with him," Lily retorted. "Now grab on. We're going for a ride."