Author's Note: So, if you are reading this, chances are you have also been reading The Golden Retriever, my first foray into RWBY fanfic. If you haven't, I would suggest popping over and taking a gander, and not just because I'm a more shameless self-promoter than Mike Jones. This little collection would not exist without The Golden Retriever, and it might be difficult to follow otherwise.
So, there are a few reasons I started Golden Tails. First and foremost is that I had made the decision to keep TGR's narrative strictly from Orville's perspective, since I'm used to jumping from PoV to PoV in my other stories and I wanted to try something new. But I also find each of the characters in RWBY incredibly fascinating, even the ones who haven't really gotten much development in canon proper, and I want to explore writing from their viewpoint as well. Also, there are a few ideas that I have which wouldn't have been possible if I were sticking exclusively to seeing things through Orville's eyes.
And thus, this puppy was born...and no, that wasn't a deliberate pun.
Anyway, these aren't technically omake since all the snippets are canon to The Golden Retriever, I was just unable to fit them into the actual story itself for various reasons. They won't necessarily be in chronological order, but I'll try my best not to get confusing.
Disclaimer: I own no rights to the web comic RWBY, or any other intellectual properties you may find reference to. I make no profit from doing this; it's all fun and games (until someone's inevitably sued, but until then, I'll enjoy it as much as possible).
Warnings: Vulgarity, adult humor, allusions to controlled substance use/abuse, and perhaps a few spoilers here and there.
That Time Ruby Severely Misunderstood A Conversation
Ruby Rose yawned widely as she made her way down to Beacon's dining hall for breakfast. It was the first weekend since she'd come to the prestigious Hunter school and she was looking forward to a bit of relaxation after the hectic first week. Her teammates were all amazing, but sometimes it was difficult to unwind with Weiss breathing down her neck or Yang teasing Blake about some book she'd found under the dark-haired girl's mattress.
Entering the long room with the high ceiling and airy windows, Ruby's eyes were drawn to two of the few students who were actually up so early on a Saturday. One she placed immediately as her big sister; it was hard mistaking that luscious mane of spun gold as belonging to anyone else. It took her sleepy brain a few moments to recognize the other as her first new companion at Beacon, Orville.
She took a moment to consider the Faunus whom she had befriended. Despite his happy-go-lucky nature and easy smiles, Orville was incredibly reserved when it came to talking about himself. All she really knew about him was that he was a dog Faunus, that he had super-awesome sawed-off Butterfly Shotswords, and that his Semblance somehow involved manipulating raw Dust, which was also amazing. But aside from his curious reticence concerning his personal life, Orville had still stuck with her after Yang had abandoned her at the beginning of her stay at the school, and she would be forever grateful for that.
Ruby was surprised to see that he and Yang were still wearing the clothes they'd had on the previous night, and deduced after a moment that they'd just returned from Vale and their celebration of surviving the first week. Ruby had wanted to go, unlike her other teammates, but Yang had adamantly refused to allow her 'precious baby sis' to accompany them and Orville (the traitor) had wholeheartedly agreed.
Wondering just what they'd gotten up to, Ruby decided it was time to emulate her favorite comic-book superhero, Flying Squirrelman, and tapped into the secret detective within. Rolling under the adjacent row of tables, she crept slowly toward where Yang and Orville were seated.
"...does not look like lipstick," Orville was saying incredulously. Yang's back faced Ruby, and her low vantage point obscured Orville from her vision, but she was loathe to try and get closer for fear of giving away her position.
"Keep telling yourself that," Yang retorted with a smirk Ruby could hear. Ruby frowned, curious as to what they were talking about. What didn't look like lipstick?
"Oh? And how many have you actually seen?" the Faunus asked, a challenge in his voice.
"Well...I've never seen one in real life," the blonde admitted with a slight shrug, "but I've seen tons of pictures on the net."
Ruby crawled closer until she could see a bit of Orville's face, which was set into a smug grin. "Yeah, because that's completely the same thing," he scoffed. Horror began to bloom in Ruby's head as she began to draw conclusions about what they were talking about.
"My Uncle Qrow's seen dozens of 'em," Yang defended, her shoulders tensing up. "And he says they look just like tubes of lipstick!" Ruby fought the urge to gasp aloud. Qrow had seen...Uncle Qrow was...?
"Your uncle musta been high as a kite to think they'd look anything like lipstick," Orville replied, unconcerned.
"Well...he is drunk most of the time," Yang said dubiously.
"Look, I'll show you right now and you'll see that it's nothing like lipstick," he assured, and Ruby, whose mind had been racing up until that point, burst out from her cover and covered Yang's eyes with one hand while pointing an accusing finger at Orville with her other.
"Don't you dare show my precious Yang your ding-a-ling!" she screeched, drawing the sleepy attention of the meager population of the dining hall.
Orville's face looked like it was torn between total incomprehension and utter amusement. "Uh, mornin', Little Red?" he said with a little wave. "How'd you sleep?"
"Ruby, what the heck?" Yang growled, grabbing both of Ruby's hands in her larger one and pulling her onto the bench beside her.
"Orville was about to show you his...his lipstick!" Ruby whispered furiously, shooting the dirty-minded Faunus a glare. Her righteous indignation ebbed slightly when she saw the two older teens trade a glance before descending into gales of laughter. "Th-this isn't funny!" Ruby hissed.
"Holy shit, Red, were you eavesdropping on us?"
"And I'm glad I did," Ruby retorted. "You nearly besmirched Yang's purity by whipping out your weenie on her, and right in the middle of the dining hall, no less! Have you no shame?"
Yang didn't seem to be able to breathe, such was the sheer strength of her fit of mirth. "Rubes," the blonde gasped, grasping Ruby's shoulder for support. "Oh my God! We were talking about these rock formations in the Grimmlands that look like dicks, not Orville's actual dick!"
Ruby's glare intensified. "Don't you lie to me, I heard you talking about how it looks like lipstick; I've seen Zwei's thingy, I'm not stupid."
It took the supposedly more mature duo two whole minutes to get their giggles under control, and Orville withdrew his scroll and flipped through some pictures before sliding it across the table at her.
"Those are the ones closest the Vale," he explained as Ruby digested the image. Those rocks did look startlingly penis-shaped. Yang leaned over and nodded.
"Alright, so they don't look like lipstick," she conceded.
"And neither does my penis, for the record," Orville added, glancing at Ruby with a half-smirk on his face. "We went over this after the whole hot-chocolate thing; I'm a dog Faunus, not a dog."
As the anger left Ruby, it was replaced by the utter mortification of having misread the situation so completely. Her silvery eyes darted around to the rest of the students nearby, who thankfully seemed too tired to have truly taken note of her outburst earlier.
Burying her face in her hands as Yang and Orville had another chuckle at her expense, Ruby stood and began walking away.
"Where ya goin', sis?" Yang shouted after her.
"I think I'll try drowning myself in the shower," Ruby called back, bumping her hip painfully into the corner of the table as she tried to make her way back to the dorm blind.
Just before she got out of earshot, Ruby heard Yang say, "So, any chance you wanna whip out your weenie on me?" Their laughter would haunt her nightmares for months.
After-Action Report: So that happened. If you didn't get the subtle hint at the beginning of the chapter, this little scene is set on the first Saturday of RWBY and ORNP's first year at Beacon. Now, I'm still fairly new to the FNDM (a term I just recently learned existed and think is fucking genius), but I haven't really seen a lot of protective!Ruby in the fanfiction yet. I mean, it's a given that Yang would keep an eye out for Ruby, make sure she isn't corrupted or anything like that, but siblingship (not a real word [yet]) is a two-way street.
I know from experience that my little brothers and sisters are incredibly protective of me, as much as I am of them, and yet I've never seen a fanfic that deals with Ruby looking out for Yang (and if you know of one, I'd really appreciate a recommendation). So I thought it might be fun to see how Ruby would react to someone offering to "whip out their weenie on Yang", to take a phrase from the girl herself.
The rock formations Orville and Yang are discussing are an actual geological phenomenon in reality, and the reason Yang seemed to think that they looked like lipstick is because Qrow told her about cock rocks formed from iron-rich stone, while the ones Orville has seen are less...red.
And yes, Flying Squirrelman is an allusion to Batman. They're both small rodents with the ability to (more or less) fly. So there.
Anything I failed to address or questions you may have can be brought up in a review or PM, any constructive criticism, tips, or outright hate is welcome in the same, and I hope you all have a great day!