Okay, I started writing this story like Tuesday and I'm just now finishing it. But I just haven't been happy with where I took this story. I mean I had an idea at first and I wanted to do something since the last episode was all Emily and Allison and no Emily and Maya. But I just really don't like the way this turned out, like at all. But idk, at least it's done and I've got this story out of my system. Hopefully, sometime next week I will have a happier and fluffier story to go along with "Out With The Old, In With The New". Um… yeah, I have no idea what else to say except I am sorry if this isn't really up to par. This hasn't been beta'd so I apologize for all of the mistakes I probably made.
(This is kind of angsty, so if your not into sad-ish stories, then this isn't for you. BUT there is a happy ending.)
Love Hurts
Soft feet padded down the steps of the dark house, the only light being the lightening from the ragging storm outside. A caramel hand reached for the light switch at the end of the staircase but the darkness remained. "Just great" was muttered as the hand slowly slid off the switch. Gentle crackling was heard before a large clap of thunder echoed outside and shook the house. A sharp intake of air was taken while the figure moved from the stairway to the kitchen. Another white flash poured through the kitchen curtain shining on a tan face, showing the tears that the darkness concealed.
Hands hastily searched the kitchen cabinets until a pack of matches were found, lighting the candle resting on the center of the kitchen island. As the fierce storm continued to unleash it's wrath outside the girl's tears continued to silently fall. Shaky hands grabbed for the tea pot resting on the counter and filled it with tap water. She placed it on the stove, watching as the flames licked the bottom of the pot. She stood there, dark eyes transfixed on the fire, or maybe she wasn't even looking at the flames, perhaps she was lost in her own thoughts and memories.
A dark head of hair moved side to side as she shook herself out of her trance and moved towards the cabinets. She treaded through the cups until she found her favorite tea cup, as soon as she held it securely in her hands a loud ringing was heard throughout the house, startling her and causing her to lose her grip on the cup. She jumped back as the cup shattered to the ground, staring at what was her favorite tea cup. However, she didn't have time to dwell on her lost cup as the loud ring rung through the house once again. She quickly ran towards the source of the noise while wiping her face of the salty wetness. She steadied her breath before she opened the front door.
Puffy red eyes stared at the figure outside her door. "Maya." She breathed out, suddenly her stomach turned. "What are you doing here." It wasn't a question.
Drenched from head to toe Maya's shaking figure stood out on her porch. "Oh, you know just passing through the neighborhood. It's such a beautiful night." As she said this a loud crack of thunder roared behind her, causing both girls to jump.
The taller girl just stood in the doorway staring at the other girl, still a bit overwhelmed by her presence. She hadn't noticed Maya was talking until she saw a dark hand being waved in front of her face. "I-I'm sorry. What were you saying?"
"Well, I was trying to use some of my wit on you but apparently you weren't listening." The darker girl tried to smile but it left as a chill ran along her body. "So Em, are you going to let me in or am I going to shiver on your porch all night."
As if just now registering the girl was standing outside shaking on her porch Emily mumbled an apology and stepped aside. Not saying another word she closed the door and walked back into the kitchen. Maya gave the girl a cautious look before taking off her soaked shoes. The confused girl followed close behind the other, her chills suddenly went forgotten as the tension in the room settled in. She glanced down as Emily started to pick up broken shards of glass.
The silence in the house was almost painful and the darkness didn't make it any better. All that lit the room was the vanilla scented candle resting on the island. Maya stared at it for a long moment before she looked back at Emily who was still picking up the glass shards. As she observed the girl she could tell something wasn't right, it almost seemed as though she was on autopilot, going through the motions without any of it connecting. Sighing to herself she bent down to help the tan girl clean up. Maya jumped and Emily screamed as the tea pot started to screech. A shiny liquid caught Maya's attention as Emily hissed while she cradled one hand in the other.
"Emily your bleeding." Was quietly gasped out from glossed lips.
The taller girl choked back a sob as she shakily stood up. "It's fine." She squeaked out.
Not taking notice to the other girl's voice she quickly stood to her feet as well. "We need to wash that." Without asking she grabbed for the other girl's hand and pulled her towards the sink. Emily tried to protest but she couldn't find the words as her tears started to fall freely once again. Maya had focused all of her attention to the bleeding hand, making sure it was properly cleaned and rinsed. She only looked up when she heard another choked back sob from Emily. Thinking that she had hurt the girl she quickly turned off the water and started to apologize. "I'm sorry, I thought I was being gentle but I guess I was being a little rougher than I intended. I just saw the blood and I panicked-." When she noticed that Emily was still crying despite her rambling apology she realized those were not tears of pain, at least not physical pain. "Emily? Hey, what's wrong?" All she received in return was Emily's body now clinging onto her own in a fierce embrace. Unsure of what to do she guided the trembling girl to the nearest stool. The girl held on tightly as she cried into Maya's shoulder. Milk chocolate fingers ran through thick black hair as the girl's tears flowed on to her shirt. She was positive if she wasn't already soaked then she would be now.
When Emily's sobs turned into light hiccups Maya slowly unattached herself from the crying girl. Cradling the tan girl's face in her hands she wiped away some of her tears before pressing a gentle kiss to both of her cheeks. She pulled away from her and searched the cabinets for cups. Five cabinets later she finally found the cups along with some hot chocolate mix. She pulled out two coffee mugs and laid them on the counter while pouring some of the mix into each one. She then turned off the hissing tea pot and poured the boiling water into the mugs. Stopping for a second she looked around the kitchen until her eyes fell upon the fridge. Glancing around the fridge she spotted a can of whipped cream and sprayed it over the top of both drinks. Once Maya was satisfied with the finished product she picked up both mugs and walked over to the still trembling girl. Instead of one of her signature smirks she gave the other girl a warm smile. "Here." She held out one of the mugs to the girl. Red rimmed eyes stared for a moment before a sad smile graced full lips and she grabbed the cup with both hands. "You seem like you could use it. Y'know chocolate can fix almost anything."
A real laugh escapes from Emily's lips, though it was strained and barely audible. "Thank you."
The dark girl just shook her head and took a seat next to the other girl. She took one long sip of the hot chocolate and let it warm her chilled bones. Maya let out a content sigh and peered over her drink, "don't mention it."
An eerie silence fell over the two. The only sound that was heard was the rhythmic tapping of the rain against the house and the tree branch brushing against the kitchen window. The room was still dark but it didn't hold the same tension as before. Both girls quietly sipped on their drinks unsure of what to do or say. So, they just sat there in silence hoping the other would speak first. But when it seemed as though neither was going to talk they both spoke up at the same time, covering the other one up.
"Sorry." Both mumbled in unison.
Maya simply shook her head and smiled. "No, I didn't really have anything to say." She paused for a moment as if testing the waters. "W-what were you going to say?"
Emily gazed at the other girl before she spoke. She had never really seen Maya so nervous and lacking confidence. It was slightly nerve-racking. "I wasn't going to say much of anything either." She finished lamely while staring at the last of the whipped cream floating in her hot chocolate. Her fingers started to tap against the mug before she spoke again. "You weren't at school today."
Maya had to strain to hear the girl. She now realized that Emily had been crying long before she even arrived. Her voice was hoarse and scratchy. But she didn't want to bring that up, at least not yet. "Yeah, my mom was watching the weather like a hawk. She refused to let me go out into the 'Apocalypse' as she called it." A smile graced her lips as that conversation came back to her. She paused. "Why? Did I miss something?" She was almost afraid of the answer.
"Someone destroyed Allison's memorial last night." She whispered. She had flat out ignored the question, either that or she just didn't hear her.
"Emily, I'm so sorry. I had no idea."
Again Emily either ignored her or just wasn't listening. "They think that I did it."
"What? You can't be serious!"
Dark sad eyes raised from the cup to the girl next to her. "Well, they think Toby did it and that I helped."
Maya's lips formed an 'o' shape as her response. She didn't say anything after that, she just stared into her cup, observing it's contents.
Emily tried to connect her eyes with the girl next to her but Maya wasn't having it. "I didn't do it."
Maya simply nodded her head and looked up through her soaked bangs. She sighed and breathed out an 'I know, I'm just thinking'.
The silence overtook them once more.
"Why do they think you did it." It wasn't a question, it was almost like she knew the answer.
Tanned fingers stopped tapping on the mug as she bit her lip. "They-" she started but stopped. She couldn't lie, at least not to Maya. Not after all she's put the girl through. She calmed her breathing as she spoke again. "Because I was there last night."
The darker girl simply nodded her head as if she's heard this all before. "And you were there because?" Her voice wasn't harsh or accusing. If anything it was gentle and curious.
Emily didn't want to have this conversation again, not after what happened at school today. The fact that she had to forcibly out herself in front of her friends and that dirty cop had taken it's toll on her. Not to mention she's been stuck feeling all the horrible emotions she felt over a year ago when she wrote Allison's letter.
Holding back the tears that were starting to build in her eyes she simply replied. "I wanted to apologize to her. To say everything I didn't get a chance to tell her while she was alive."
Suddenly, as if she was on fire Maya stood up from her seat. The movement had slightly startled Emily as she watched the girl pace in front of her. The African American girl paced the floor with her hand propped on her chin for a few minutes before she came to a stop in front of Emily.
"I'm going to ask you something," she started. "and I want you to tell me the truth. Don't worry about how I react or anything like that." She sighed for a moment before taking a step closer to Emily. "I just want to know, okay?" Emily simply nodded, not really sure what else she could do. "I… what was your real relationship with Allison?" Emily opened her mouth as if to speak but the darker girl silenced her with the shake of the head. "No, let me finish. I know that you guys were really good friends but what was your… relationship?" Her voice cracked as she asked this.
Emily's mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. She honestly had no idea where that came from. "W-what are you talking about?"
The dark girl's chest raised as she took in a large gulp of air while running her fingers over her wet hair. Her chest deflated as she let her hand fall back down to her side. "I know this is coming from out of nowhere, but I have been thinking. And I know this sounds weird but… even though Allison is… dead." She grimaced as the word left her lips, as though leaving a bad taste in her mouth. And despite the darkness, she could see Emily flinch from the word as well. "I feel threatened by her." Maya laughed but it wasn't a joyful one. It was dry, almost bitter. She continued on. "It's like she is the one I'm competing with… and I know it this sounds insane but I feel like I have a better chance of loosening you to her than I do to Toby."
"Maya-" Emily tried but it was no use, the girl was already to far gone in her speech.
"I see the look you get when you talk about her." She whispered. "I see the longing in your eyes and I honestly don't know what to do. I mean, at least with Toby I could wait for him to mess up and be there when it all went to hell. But," Emily could hear the girl in front of her start to break down as she opened up more. "But with Allison… I can't compete with her. I never knew who she was so I don't know what exactly I'm going against. I live in a house that isn't even my house, Emily. It hers, not mine. I mean it seems like ever since I got here I've been living in her shadow, with some label on me associated with her. I'm either the girl that lives in Allison's house or I am the girl who is hanging out with one of Allison's friends. I'm hardly ever 'Maya'. I'm just the new girl who is replacing the dead girl." The small girl's body shook as she tried to catch her breath. Soft pants came from her mouth as her chest heaved up and down violently. Emily stood to try and touch her but Maya just jumped back, as though she was about to be burned. "But you want to know something? The really messed up part about all of that? None of that even bothers me. At least not nearly as much as the fact that even though she's gone, she still has your heart."
Shocked brown eyes tried to meet Maya's but the shorter girl refused to look her in the eye. She slowly started to back away towards the kitchen exit but Emily grabbed her wrist while she was still in reach. "Maya I-"
The darker girl tried her best to pull her arm away but Emily was stronger than she was. She still refused to meet Emily's eyes, although she was starting to give up fighting the other girl off. "Emily, let go." Her plea was weak and her voice was small. "I think it's time I go, just let me." By this point Maya's own tears started to fall as she stopped her fighting completely and broke down into Emily's arms.
The taller girl protectively wrapped her toned arms around the smaller girl, as if she was afraid to let her go. She lightly ran her fingers through soaked black hair as she hushed the crying girl by whispering calming words into her ear. Emily couldn't believe how their positions had changed so quickly. Less than an hour ago she was the one breaking down in Maya's arms and now the roles had been reversed completely. As the girl's tears quieted Emily tried to say what she couldn't say earlier. She inhaled Maya's scent of rain and strawberries before she spoke. "First, I want to tell you I'm sorry I never asked how you felt. I never really took the time to wonder how living in her house was affecting you. I usually just get so caught up in myself that I never care enough to ask, and I apologize for that." She takes a moment to pause and press a gentle kiss to Maya's head. "As far as Toby goes, you'll never have to worry about him. I was just scared and Toby was there. He didn't judge me and I didn't judge him, and at the time I needed to be around someone who wouldn't judge or ask questions. He was just there. He was just a friend, nothing more nothing less." Noticing that Maya's breathing had started to even out Emily raised the girl's head so she could finally look her in the eyes. Though it was dark she could see the wetness and tear stains covering the other girl's face. She raised one hand and wiped a tear away with her thumb. "I'm tired of keeping secrets all the time, so I'm not going to lie to you and say that I didn't feel anything for Allison. Because I did, I loved her." Maya made a painful noise in the back of her throat at this news and turned her face away. But Emily simply caught her eyes and forced her to look back at her. "The keyword is loved. She was my first love and best friend. She meant the world to me."
Dark eye's glared upwards as she stared at the girl holding her. "If this your attempt to make me feel better it's not working." Her voice was hoarse and slightly childish.
It made Emily smile. She lightly giggled and placed a wet piece of hair behind Maya's ear. "I'm getting to that part." She smiles again as she see hears a light groan come from the smaller girl's lips. But the mood turned serious again as he spoke again. "Even though, I loved her, she didn't love me, at least not the way I wanted her to. She hurt me… so much Maya." The tanned girl's voice shook as she thought of this, but she moved on. "Allison was the first person I loved and hated with a passion. I loved her when she was this completely different person, only around me. But I hated her for changing when we were in public or making me feel like I was a freak for wanting her when we were alone." She paused as a sudden realization hit her. "Kind of like what I did to you."
Panic took Maya's eyes as she stared up at the girl. "Emily, your nothing like Allison."
The tan girl pulled away from Maya and just looked at her fiercely in the eyes. "Maybe I'm not exactly like her, but what I did to you was no better. I should have never asked you to keep things a secret or acted like I was ashamed of kissing you." Emily's face slightly paled. "D-do you hate me too?"
Maya could feel her heart breaking as Emily breathed out those words. "Emily, I could never hate you." She grabbed for both of Emily's hands and squeezed them tightly. "I may not like the things you do sometimes but I could never hate you." She took a moment to collect her thoughts before she voiced them. "Em, what you did was out of fear. You were scared and confused, I understand that. Did it hurt that you didn't want people to find out about our kiss? Yes. Was I crushed when I saw you with Toby at Homecoming? Like you wouldn't believe. But, you tried to make it up to me. Whereas Allison, she did it to keep you at arms length, to make you feel bad about yourself. You're nothing like her."
"How would you know? You didn't even know her."
Maya ignored the slight protective edge in Emily's voice. "You're right, I didn't know her. But I do know of her and I know you. And I know from what you've just told me and what I know about you, you two are polar opposites." Maya let go of Emily's hands and looked her in the eye. "But you're right. How would I know?"
"Maya, I didn't mean it like that."
"Maybe that's not how you meant it, but that's how it sounded."
"Look, can we not fight about this right now?"
"We're not fighting." She followed this statement by crossing her arms.
"Yeah, last time you said that we end up not talking for three days, and even then you didn't want to talk." Tan arms snaked around Maya's waist as she pulled the girl in closer. "And right now I want to talk to you."
"No one is stopping you."
Emily sighed and held on tighter, even though Maya kept her arms folded over her chest. "I don't know why you came over here-" The darker girl opened her mouth to answer but Emily didn't let her. "And I honestly don't care why you came. I'll admit that I do think about Allison, and sometimes I wonder what it would be like if she was still alive. But, that's only because I feel guilty about all the harsh things I wanted to tell her." Dark eyes looked away as she remember the last time she and Allison spoke. "Things didn't end well with me and Allison, and that fact still haunts me to this day." Emily brought her eyes back to the girl in her arms. "So yes, I do think about her sometimes when were together, but it's not because I'm still in love with her. Honestly, I haven't really thought about being with anyone else… since I met you."
Maya's mouth dropped open as she stared up at Emily with disbelief. "Seriously?"
Emily smiled and pulled the girl closer, if that was at all possible. "Yes, seriously. I don't know if you know this Maya St. Germaine, but I happen to like you, a lot. Even if I don't act like it sometimes."
A trimmed eyebrow cocked upwards as she looked at the other girl. "So, what are you saying?"
"I'm saying that you're the one that I want. I am saying the only person I want right now is you, and I don't see that changing."
A row of perfect teeth smiled up at Emily before Maya snuggled into her shoulder. "Well, good. I've found out I'm not really good with sharing anyway."
A gentle kiss was pressed against Maya's forehead as Emily looked down at the girl. "I really am sorry that I never asked how you felt before today."
The smaller girl just shook her head and started to lean upwards. "We all make mistakes, Em. So, it's better to just move on and forgive ourselves than to dwell on the past."
Emily let the girl's words soak in. She knew that Maya wasn't talking about her apology to her, but to Allison. Their eyes connected for a long moment before she mumbled a thank you against the shorter girl's lips and let their lips press together. The kiss was soft and emotional. Pent up feelings that they didn't know they had were being let between every stroke of their lips. As the kiss started to become more heated the lights flicked on in the kitchen. This was the first time the girls had really seen each other all night.
Maya's dark hair was matted to her face from the rain. Her mascara had left black trails down her cheeks and her lips were starting to swell from their kiss. Emily came to the conclusion she looked like a mess. A big adorable mess. She removed her arms from Maya's waist and grabbed for her hands instead.
"Come on. Let's find you some dry clothes."
Maya lightly chuckled as she allowed herself to be pulled in the direction of the stairs. "It's a little late for that don't you think?"
Emily stopped halfway up the stairs and turned to look at the dark girl. "Well, then I guess we better make up for lost time then, huh?"
Maya's cheeks colored a light red as she continued to follow closely behind Emily.
Both girls knew that if you fall without someone there to catch you the pain will be like nothing you've ever experienced. But they figure that if they fall together, maybe, just maybe they'll be able to catch each other when they fall.
Welp, there it is. Like I said I don't like this story at all but at least I don't have to worry about it anymore, so that's good. Um, I would love to hear what you have to say. The good, the bad, the weird, all of it. So, that means I'm going to need you to press that magic button right under here. Please and thank you!