"Mates"
'One-Shot'
By: Emo Fox
It had been a few weeks since their relationship became official.
Dib had been so nervous, choking on his words when he told the invader his newfound feelings, and then waited for the Irken to either laugh or explode him with a ray gun. Though, instead of doing either, Zim surprised him with that concentrated look before his usual conceited expression took over his features.
He mocked him, poked and prodded him with enough haughty words that Dib's nervousness fell away to impatience and annoyance. Dib yelled at Zim to just laugh himself silly already so he could go home, and then the invader did the unexpected.
He accepted his feelings and in return offered his own.
So, officially, they had agreed to be a couple.
Fights weren't absent from their relationship, neither were arguments or anything else(even though they liked each other, they seemed to hate each other with equal passion); but they did manage to find solace in each other on rare days, cuddling, and Zim even allowed Dib to fall asleep on him more than once.
Just like now, they were laying on Zim's couch, watching some mindless program on TV. Zim sent Gir away so they might have an hour or so before the hyper robot came back and ruined the tranquil evening. Zim was pressed up against him, Dib behind him on the sofa, his arm reached over his waist and holding the invader as close as Zim allowed.
The Irken leaned slightly off the couch, reaching to snack on the popcorn that sat in the bowl on the floor, munching noisily, drowning out the dialogue on TV.
Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.
The noise was getting on Dib's nerves, but he was trying to ignore it, propping his head on the arm rest and trying to enjoy his time with Zim.
Two weeks and they still haven't kissed, or even done anything aside from lying together or nuzzling. Dib was getting restless, frustrated, he was a healthy teenage boy after all – being this close to the alien, feeling his warm body up against his, his ass pressing into his groin—
Crunch. Crunch—
"Do you have to chew so loud?" Dib finally snapped, frowning as he glared at the back of Zim's green head.
Zim looked over his shoulder at the human, his mouth slightly open, popcorn peeking out between teeth and lips. He gave him a long incredulous stare before he snapped his jaw shut and began chewing again, "Yes." He slurred between his giant bite of food.
Dib rolled his eyes, his fingers idly running back and forth on Zim's stomach, bunching the pink fabric up with every deliberate stroke of his hand.
Zim shifted back, getting comfortable again, reaching up with his gloved hand to stop Dib's touch before he went back to eating, apparently oblivious to Dib's inner wants. "This show is stupid." Zim groused, his antennae fell back slightly.
His hand was now trapped under Zim's, the cold latex doing little to soothe the heat of his flesh. This was getting ridiculous. Didn't couples kiss and touch on Irk? What do Irkens do when they're together? Dib tilted his head forward, his closed lips pressing against the tip of one of Zim's stalks, feeling the leathery texture against the plush of his mouth. Maybe this was just another way Zim could deny and control him, maybe he was just messing with him on purpose, maybe he didn't really want to be together. Dib parted his lips just slightly, discreetly pressing the feeler into his mouth, lifting his tongue to lick the tip—
The moment the moist contact was made Zim's antennae perked forward out of Dib's grasp. Zim made no acknowledgement that Dib had even tried to lick his feeler, instead shifted his weight again, nudging his lower body almost pointedly against Dib's as he made a grab for the remote, changing the channel in a flurry of 'clicks'.
Dib was just going to have to be more straightforward, Zim obviously didn't care, or wasn't catching on. He tangled their legs together, pressing his palm firm against Zim's abdomen as he forced the alien flush against him. He nuzzled his face along the curve of Zim's neck, inhaling the naked skin, "Zim."
Zim purred, always enjoying the little nuzzles the human gave, "Mm?"
"What do they do on Irk?"
Zim leaned his head back, exposing more of his neck to the human, his red eyes lidded heavily as he tried to keep an eye on the TV, "What are you talking about?" He murmured, "We do everything on Irk."
"I mean," Dib pressed his lips against Zim's neck, closing his eyes, suppressing the needy whine, "Relationship-wise?"
Zim shrugged, "There are no relationships."
Dib perked to attention, his brow furrowed, "What?"
"There's no need," Zim said easily, as if he were talking about the weather, "We create Irkens in factories, we're built for conquest you know, establishing relationships are meaningless." He finally decided on a movie, one he had seen countless times, "I love this movie." He grinned wickedly, nudging the side of Dib's head with his own, trying to entice more contact.
"Then," Dib faltered, ignoring Zim's usual alluring tactic, "Why did you agree to be together with me?"
"To look more human." Zim said simply, "Humans have lots of relationships, I've seen on TV and in school. So many attachments. That's what makes your race so weak you know." Zim reached for another handful of popcorn.
"So," Dib untangled himself from the alien, sitting up, ignoring Zim's little whine of displeasure. He ran a hand through his hair trying to catch his thoughts – so this was all just a game then, wasn't it? "This doesn't mean anything to you?"
Zim glanced to Dib, not yet sitting up. He eyed the human a long moment, curious as to what was going on in his head, but not being insightful enough to really understand what was going on. Zim decided the best answer was to not answer at all, merely shrugging his bony shoulders to Dib's pained look.
"That's not an answer Zim." Dib said, his voice hard.
"What do you want me to do?" Zim grinned, adding insult to injury, "Confess my undying lurve for you?"
Dib shot him a look, feeling stupid and small, "Whatever. If this is just a game then, then it's over," He said, ignoring the frantic beat of his heart and the tightness of his throat, "We're over."
That got Zim to sit up, his expression sour. He stabbed a gloved talon into Dib's chest, glaring hotly at the Earth child, "We are not over unless Zim says so," He hissed, "You don't get to decide anything."
"I just did," Dib countered, "We're done, I'm done with you." Dib tried to get up from the couch, but Zim's hand caught his wrist, yanking him back with equal strength, forcing the human to topple back on the sofa, "Let go." Dib grumbled, dejected as he tried to yank his arm away fruitlessly.
Zim's antennae twitched in agitation, his frown deepened, "Irkens do have mates," He murmured, almost sulkily, "It's uncommon, but," Zim waved his opposite hand as if trying to grab at words, his claret eyes slipping from Dib's expression to random items around the room, "We can't be mates, so it doesn't matter." Zim pushed Dib away, forcing the youth to slump back into the arm rest as Zim seemed to retract whatever he may have said further, folding his arms in a grumpy way as he lifted a two-toed foot to kick at Dib's thigh, "Whatever, go pig-smelly, Zim tires of your company."
"No, no," Dib said, ignoring Zim's half-hearted kicks, "Why wouldn't we work?"
Zim clucked his tongue, "We just wouldn't."
"Why?"
Zim's eyes narrowed as he shot Dib a venomous glare, "Humans are so fickle, haven't I already said this before?" His tone rose in volume, his teeth bared in a feral snarl, "Irkens mate for life, and the great Zim is not going to be discarded by some big-headed human on a whim." He growled.
Ah, Zim did indeed watch way too many movies and TV. Whatever notions of relationships and love must be jaded by all the lies he was seeing. Though, why did he judge Dib by the same standards? Didn't he know anything about him by now?
"But I wouldn't—"
"I said GO!" Zim yelled, throwing a pillow at Dib, who easily deflected it much to Zim's displeasure.
Luckily the Irken didn't have anything else in the immediate area to throw, and he didn't seem to want to make contact so a physical fight was stalled. Instead he was just glaring at him like he could combust Dib with his mind. "Zim, just listen, I—"
"GO!"
"No, I—"
"GO!"
"I—"
"GO!"
"SHUT UP FOR ONE SECOND!"
Zim huffed but finally settled, scrunching himself against the opposite side of the couch and trying to get every last bit of him as far away from Dib as possible. "Proceed." He said, as if Dib needed permission from the arrogant stupid alien.
"I asked you to be a couple with me because I love you."
"Lurve," Zim clucked his tongue, "That doesn't mean anything."
"Yes, it does. I know you think whatever you think about humans. But, I'm not a human, Zim. I'm Dib, remember?"
Zim's left antennae twitched and he reluctantly looked at the human, assessing him. He stared a long hard while, then waved his hand for the Earth child to continue.
Oh, keep talking? Uh. Dib had hoped his words were powerful enough; he sort of didn't have any more speech left. "That's uh," Dib coughed, "I love you and want to be mates."
"You don't even know what you're saying."
"I do."
"Then tell me what a mate is." Zim sneered.
Dib faltered a moment before he conceded, "I don't know anything about Irken mates, Zim, but I never said I did. I know what it means for me, not what it means for the rest of my species. Just me, and I mean it."
"Come." Zim relaxed his posture, opening up a spot near him for Dib to scoot back.
Dib edged his way back to the alien, cautiously slipping his arm back around him and Zim sunk into his side. "So, we're uh-?"
"Yes." Zim huffed, "Now quiet, my favorite movie is on."
"What does that mean?"
Zim glanced to him, looking at him like he was an idiot. "It means, be quiet so Zim can watch."
"No, not the stupid movie," Dib said in exasperation, "What does this mean? Between us? What does your species mates do with each other?"
"Everything." Zim said dismissively.
Dib didn't get any further information that day, but it was a good day. They spent the evening cuddling, and he felt more solid in their relationship. At the end of the night he kissed Zim for the first time(then promptly got shoved out the door).
But, later, weeks later, well, he found out that Zim wasn't kidding when the Irken said they did everything.