Warnings: Contains yaoi, rape and abuse. Yaoi means that two guys are in love. If this offends you in any way, don't continue to read this story.

Disclaimer: I do not own Beyblade in any way or form. All the characters are borrowed from the anime, and those who isn't, I do own. This story may not be copied or published in some other way without my permission. I do not make any money from writing this and my interest is to entertain only.

Further: I thank two of my friends who helps me with this. Thank you, without your help, nothing would be the same, and you actually made the story much better:

Endoh Chiaki
Ladya C. Maxine

Expiring spirits

:by dream-whizper:

Sometimes, things don't really go according to plan. I should know this, what with the job I have. I know I should have tried harder, but then again I suppose it all depends on one's point of view. The problem isn't with me, although I often make it sound like it, but I have finally realized that what happened to me wasn't my fault, not at all.

Gods, how blind I was up until then. I was willing to let my time run out without any hesitation or regret. I just wanted it to end, this pathetic excuse of a life, monotonous and unrewarding, even on my best days, professional of personal.

But then…I met him. From the first time I saw him, I knew that things would never be the same again.

Chapter one

"Doctor, you're requested in the theatre."

"Okay, thanks."

Yeah, I'm a doctor. The name's Ray Kon, a 24 years old who has been working in this hospital located in the centre of New York for almost three years now. I know what you're thinking; that I'm way too young to be a doctor, and I guess you're right. But it's true. I graduated when I was 20, which is quite extraordinary. I never even considered becoming a doctor, but, as it turned out, destiny had other plans.

It's ironic, if I may say so, in so many ways. I love being a doctor, I hate hospitals. They are crowded and smelly. Yeah, having this characteristically smell around you for almost every day of the year isn't very pleasant. I can't get used to it either, unless my nose was to fall off. But that's beside the point.

I usually work during the day, but on this particular occasion I was pulling a night shift. I still remember everything about that night, which people I treated, which nurses were working, who had died, who had been well enough to go home…I even remember the specific hour it all begun.

I had left the operation theatre about ten minutes earlier. Fortunately, we had been able to save her, a young girl named Mariah who had been struck by a car about an hour ago by a drunk driver. The intoxicated man had fallen into a drunken sleep before the police arrived but the girl was rushed immediately to the hospital, suffering bruises, broken bones and a concussion. By the time I got to the O.R. she had been reasonably stabilized but it still took us much effort before she was out of the critical condition.

The patient saved, for now, and my earned break the only real comfort to me, I walked down the blue corridor of level two, my once pristine white coat stained by the dried blood of the girl. I sighed, rubbing my temples. Although I'm not someone who needs much sleep, working for twelve hours straight would make anyone tired.

My office was lying dark in the building, and I didn't bother to switch the light on. After all, I was only going to change into a clean coat. It was silent. Not that I minded or anything. Still, I'm used to noise, either coming from the city or my fellow colleagues.

I didn't grow up in the city, I come from a small village in China, but I'm still used to sounds. This is basically because I'm a neko-jin, that's a person who is part feline, meaning that my senses are higher than a normal human being. What may be a quiet office floor to others can be downright loud for me. It took me years to get used to the racket that is a large city like New York.

I pulled off my coat and was hanging it over one of the two antique walnut chairs when my beeper suddenly went off, abruptly reminding me of the work I was so desperately trying to forget, if even for five minutes. Cursing in my native language, I removed the beeping device from my pocket.

Emergency call.

Despite my wearied annoyance, I dropped the beeper into the pocket of a new coat that I snatched as I ran out, leaving the silence and peace behind.

I could clearly hear the chaos the moment I stepped out of the elevator and was able to pinpoint it to the emergency room just down the hall. It really wasn't that hard, since stressed voices echoed around the mint-coloured walls. At this hour, there weren't many people around, so getting to the room was easy.

It was what came after that caused trouble.

Never had something like this happened to me, ever. Normally, nothing would make me hesitate in doing my job. However, I can't explain the feeling. It was like walking onto thin ice only to hear it slowly start to crack: a warning. I didn't know what was happening but standing in the doorway, watching the scene unfold before me, I knew that something was, maybe not wrong, but out of the ordinary.

"Doctor?"

Tala's voice reached to me and I was finally able to snap out of the strange trance I'd been in and walked to where the patient lay motionlessly on the sheet covered operating table.

The patient was a man, 20-21 if I had to guess. Although it's not easy to tell when someone is lying down, he could have been as tall as me. His skin was pale, too pale to be considered normal and his lips were tinged blue. His thick slate and navy blue hair was a complete mess.

"What happened to him?" My voice was steadier than I felt, for which I was thankful.

"Suicide attempt."

I sighed at Tala's answer.

We hadn't had that many suicide cases lately and I personally had never treated one but I knew a few whose thoughts had strayed along that line…including me. It was my one true fear.

"Pills?" I asked my redhead colleague who was slipping an oxygen mask over the unresisting man's mouth and nose.

"And slashed wrists."

Both? I'd never heard of a patient who had done both before. It seemed like he'd gone to hell of a trouble to make certain he did it right. Peculiar since suicide was something that was not usually fully thought out. A suicide was more often than not an impulsive action based on long suffering and a breaking point. There had to be more to this.

I didn't have the time to think any further of it though, because at that very moment, his heart rate went blank.

"Shit," I hissed, my own heart skipping several beats.

But as quickly as he had left, he came back. Shaking from the adrenaline rush, I released the breath I didn't know I had been holding and shook my head.

"Get me some intravenous," I ordered one of the nurses. Emily, I think that is her name, nodded and took off. "Tala, he has lost too much blood."

"I'm on it." And he too was gone.

Having nothing to do except wait, keep him alive, I turned my attention to the wounds on his wrists. Frowning, I eyed the deep gashes located across the scars of older ones. They were no longer bleeding but were deep though, and wide. These, he couldn't have done using a razor blade. Something else, like a piece of glass, mirror or even a knife must have been the cause.

'Actually, the best thing to use is some sort of glass, simply because they're so sharp…'

I shook my head at that train of thought.

Nonetheless, something made me realize this wasn't a simple case of giving in to life's pressure. No. This was caused by true despair.

I looked at his face. He was beautiful, if that's the proper way to describe a guy. Though his skin was pale and cold, it still was smooth, and his hair was the most interesting colours I'd ever seen. He looked just like he was sleeping. I turned my attention back to his arms and followed an old scar with my finger.

"Man, what have you done to your self?" I murmured as both my nurses returned with the required items.

Time to put my degree to the test.

Walking down the same navy blue corridor as earlier and sleepily dragged myself into my office, my eyelids felt heavy and my head was pounding with each heartbeat. I really needed my beauty sleep!

It had been three hours and fifteen minutes since he first arrived, the handsome stranger with slit wrists. It had taken all that time to somewhat stabilizing his health. We had nearly lost him seven times. He wasn't out of danger just yet, but enough for me to try and get some damn rest.

I was totally exhausted and without any further hesitation, I collapsed on the black leather couch in the corner of my office. My office is as any other, rectangular with a heavy oak desk, occupied with piles of paper and a flat-screened computer. In front of the desk, were two chairs, one now covered with my dirty coat. At the opposite wall from where I lay was a white door that led to a small washroom. A painting of a waterfall landscape hung to its left and a bookshelf filled with newspapers and books to the right. On the left side of the couch was a bonsai-tree I got from my friend back in China and to the right was a small table with a green lamp and an alarm clock. On the wall above the couch was a picture of a white Siberian tiger.

I laid there for about ten minutes and so, constantly shifting position before I realized I couldn't find the peace my sleep required. I growled angrily and sat up, running my hand down my face. Although reluctant to, I pushed myself up on my feet and went into my little private washroom. I turned on the water in the sink and filled my hands, then splashed it in my face. I shivered; hadn't realized it was going to be that cold. At the reflection of myself in the eye-level placed mirror, I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

My normally shining golden eyes were dull, my ebony black hair was tangled and messy and the shadows under my eyes were dark. In other words, I looked like shit. Even worse than HE did. My traditional Chinese braid was in process of unravelling, allowing strands of my ankle long hair to fall out, and the bangs were handing before my face. Just like HIS.

This time, I stopped in my thoughts. It was the second time in five seconds that I had compared my appearance with his. The two shade haired guy. Why did I think about him? Was I concerned? Yeah, I was. Not because I was scared at the sight of the pale skin, blue lips, slashed wrist or the sight of blood, all that I was used to.

It was…that he had looked so peaceful, like he finally found happiness. And I had taken it away from him. The only logical explanation was that…I felt guilty.

I jumped at the knocking on the door, pupils turning into slits and my fangs showing. Since the person outside opened it without waiting for permission, it had to be Tala.

"Ray?"

I was right. Of course it was Tala.

"Yeah?" I murmured, coming back to my senses. I really didn't want to talk right now.

"You okay?"

I turned to face him as he came into the washroom. He didn't look much better than I. His cherry read hair was pointing in every direction and his glacier blue eyes were as dull as mine.

"Sure, why wouldn't I?"

Being around three inches shorter than he, I looked up at him.

Tala Ivanov, 30 years old and a terrific male nurse, was my best friend, though it bugs me that he always treats me like a little kid. He's helped me through a lot, even saved my life…more than once, but I could do without his mothering.

Tala crossed his arms with a stubborn look on his face.

"What was that?"

I quirked an eyebrow at this question.

"What was what?"

"I've never seen you freeze like that before. Not since you were a rookie. What's wrong?"

I didn't answer him since I honestly couldn't. I didn't understand it myself.

"Well?"

"I don't know," I snapped and pushed pass him.

"Oh, you don't?"

I turned and glared at him. Rude and pushy were his strong points, to say the least.

"Was it that you realized that a few years ago, that could have been you?"

I coughed, taken aback.

"I don't know what it was. I-It was like something wanted to stop me from saving him."

Tala smirked triumphantly and I so much wanted to wipe that look of his otherwise angelic face.

"I knew it had something to do with yourself!"

I blushed, rather irritated though he continued anyway.

"You compared yourself with him, didn't you? You thought that if you were in his place, you wouldn't want any help, had it been four years ago, didn't you?"

I didn't answer. Instead, I walked over to the window and looked down at the sleeping city. I frowned and put my hand against the cold glass.

"How is he?" I sounded more careless than I intended to and mentally slapped my forehead.

"He'll live. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about him. I've got something for you."

I turned around.

"What?" I asked, glad that the talk about me had ended.

"Well, it's commonly known as 'nada'."

Once again, I found myself glaring at him. He was a real pain in the ass! Yeah, that would be the best way of describing him.

"What do you mean?"

"What I mean is that I couldn't find anything on him whatsoever. He's never been in this hospital, or any in the area before."

"Who asked you to search in the first place? And how the hell could you even try when you don't even know his name?"

He smirked at me and walked over to take my hand. His skin tone was much lighter than mine though his hand was a bit bigger. My eyes widened at the touch but when he placed a plastic card in my hand, I relaxed again, feeling somewhat like a moron. I looked at the given item. It was an ID card.

"Kai Hiwatari," I mumbled, going over the man's facts. Then, it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach. "Are you sure this is correct?" I asked as I read it again.

Tala nodded.

"…But…according to this…he's only eighteen…"

"Yup."

"I thought he was around twenty-one…"

"Yeah, so did I."

I looked at the card again before handing it back to the other man and walked pass him.

"Where are you going?" he asked me, as if he expected something or me to go home.

"Downstairs, my break is over," I replied monotonously.

"Doctor, we need your help over here!"

"Doctor, you're required in room 74!"

"Doctor Kon?"

This was just my luck, break was over and suddenly everything started happening at once. Car accidents, gang fights, heart attacks, you name it! Still, No sleep, no rest, and always do better than your best; that's been my motto for the past two years.

So, high on cheep coffee and chocolate from the small cafeteria on level three, I ran around the building, helping the ones that needed it.

As I rounded a corner I took a sip from the coffee I carried with me, not really looking where I was going. Of course, I managed to bump straight into someone, spilling my coffee and dropping a few papers at the same time.

"Sorry!" I said, unaware of the fact that I was going to regret it.

"Damn it, Kon! Look at my coat!"

'Oh, fuck!' basically summed up my thoughts at that moment.

It was Michael Sheldon, a fellow doctor a few years my senior who disliked my guts. Can't say I think any better of him, though.

"Sorry Dr. Sheldon," I muttered through clenched teeth. This conversation made me sound like a student apologizing to the principal.

"Clean that up and for god's sake do your job!"

With that said, he left.

"…Asshole!"

Yeah, I know. I'm so good at expressing my feelings trough words…not! I desperately tried to shake the brown liquid off the papers, with little…Okay, no success. Finally, I gave up and grabbed them as they were. I was about to take off…when I crashed into someone…again.

The papers flew around us as we both fell to the floor. Can this stuff really happen! Guess so!

"This is not my night!" I hissed as I sat myself up and looked at the other person, expecting to see another idiot.

The 'idiot' before me had messy slate and black hair and his skin was as pale as ivory. From his sitting position, he seemed to be almost the same height…as…me. My eyes dilated, warmth seemingly stolen from my body.

In front of me sat…Kai! What? How? When? I mean, what was he doing out of bed?

"Hey!"

I stretched out my hand and touched his shoulder. Kai looked up and locked his eyes with mine, causing a cold chill to travel down my spine. His eyes were as red as the blood the nurses had spent over an hour cleaning from his wounds, and they held a deadly intense fire in them.

I took a deep breath.

"What are you doing?"

He didn't say anything and I couldn't judge his feelings. His eyes didn't reflect them. Although I could somewhat see a tinge of fear, very well hidden. He had pulled out the needles we'd attached him too.

I quickly got to me feet.

"You have to rest. Come, I'll take you back" I once again held out my hand, this time for him to take it. But he didn't move at all. "Please?"

Slowly, almost unwillingly, he took it and I was able to carefully help him to standing position. He was indeed almost as tall as me, only about half an inch shorter and extremely light. He was a bit skinny, but still had fine ripped muscles and fine features. He followed me very closely as we walked and I eyed him curiously. He looked uncertain and extremely wary, eyes flickering around the corridor.

"What's your name?" I asked in an attempt to make him feel comfortable, but I didn't receive any answer.

The staff looked puzzled as we passed them, especially those that had seen him before. I gave Tala a nod as we passed him in the hall that said that everything was under control. As always, he returned the nod and kept on walking.

"So, here we are" I announced as we reached room number 145.

Still not talking, he gazed around the room. It almost looked like he was searching for something. After a while he staggered over to the bed and crawled into it. I followed him and pushed the little red button on the bed frame.

"How old are you?" I didn't really expect a reply, but to my great surprise, he spoke out.

"It was you, right?" his voice wasn't deep but mature, calm and steady and he had a strange accent.

"What?"

"It was you who…saved me, right…Dr. Kon?" he elaborated after taking a look at my nametag.

How did he know? He had been unconscious all the time, not opening his eyes once.

"Uh…yeah, it was. I'm a doctor at this hospital."

He chuckled calmly at me.

"Yeah, I've noticed."

"Do you know why you're here?"

This time, he gave me the worst death glare I've ever experienced in my life, once again sending a cold shiver down my spine. Those eyes of his…they were really creepy. He must have figured out what I was thinking, because he chuckled dryly and leaned backwards against the pillows.

I looked at him once again and was just about to say something I can't remember when Emily came into the room, her sudden appearance startling Kai. He once again got a haunted expression.

"You called" she smiled at me.

Those little red buttons were useful, weren't they?

"Mrs. Ford, could you get me some new IV, please?"

She shot Kai a perturbed stare, then gave me a strange look but went to get the required liquid. I turned back to Kai.

"So, what were you doing?"

How stupid can one get? I mean, I knew there wouldn't be any respond. He didn't seem to answer questions at all, starting to annoy me a bit. Instead of an answer, he gave me a smirk. I swear he was annoying me, on purpose!

Emily returned. This time, he only jerked. We attached the IV to his right arm, and he didn't do anything to stop us. Although, when Emily stuck the metal needle through his skin, he looked wary once again. But he soon sighed and relaxed.

"Now stay in bed, I'll come check on you tomorrow." That wasn't a request but order. As I turned to leave he called out to me in a low voice.

"Dr. Kon?"

I stopped at the weak voice and turned back to face him. He had me locked in his glare again.

"I'm not gonna thank you" he tried to smirk, suddenly looking very miserable before looking away.

I gave him a weak smile before stepping outside. As I closed the white door, I sighed heavily. My hands were shaking, but I didn't know why. Maybe because I was tired? Because I was hungry or because of his words? I didn't know.

I slowly walked pass the rooms, my pounding headache getting worse with each step I took.

"Ray, are you alright?"

Just great! The one person I didn't felt like talking to at that moment. Still I stopped. I knew he could easily see when something was wrong with me. It was a gift, as he'd put it. To me it was a curse.

"Absolutely fantastic," I deadpanned.

Tala laughed at me, and gently wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"What's wrong with my little friend?" his question annoyed me quite a bit. What? He had been here the whole night too, hadn't he?

"I need an aspirin."

"Right, and some sleep! You know, we are allowed to take off in a few minutes. Want me to drive you home?"

I'd totally forgotten the fact that the shift was over, and I felt a great relief when Tala reminded me…still…

"No thanks. I'll sleep here"

"Again? Why?"

I've slept in my office a few times…so what? It wasn't like there was anyone expecting me to come home anyway, so it really didn't matter.

"Too tired to go anywhere," I said. But he knew as well as I that wasn't the real reason.

"'Kay, suit yourself. See ya around then, I guess."

Yeah, a bit too soon for my taste. I would only have seven hours before I had to start working again, so I figured I'd better try and get that rest. That Tala accepted my explanation made me feel calmer. He knew when he wouldn't get a decent answer anyway, so this he just backed off.

I raised my hand and gave the man a small wave before continuing my walk towards my office for the third time that night.

Tbc