Music Box Melody.
It's an early morning, and I can't find the strength to get out of bed. Everything from my toes to the follicles in my hair hurts –even though as a Medical Student I know for a fact that my hair doesn't actually hurt or have any nerves. I disregard that thought, though. It's too bright to think. It's too bright to function, if anything. The thin curtains are doing a shoddy job at keeping the light out, and I bury my face in the pillow and grumble to myself.
"Not ready to wake up?"
I shake my head dramatically in response to the all too familiar voice. They laugh in return, and I close my eyes and try to fall asleep. The bed creeks and I pull the comforter up over my head. They don't protest against that, and merely pull the blanket up to get under it themselves.
I'm greeted by a gentle smile and bright amber eyes.
"Good morning cutie." He says, and I can feel my heart pitter-pattering in my chest; so fast it might pop out.
"Good morning, Alvin." I respond, and the gunslinger smiles so wide and so sincerely I can only smile in response. He's so very gentle when it's just us, so very kind and sincere.
"Not ready to wake up yet, Judie?" Occasionally he calls me that, and I only roll my eyes in response, but this early in the morning, with his voice so quiet and kind, it sounds too endearing to be real. He's only ever been everything I've wanted.
"Nope." I shake my head wildly in response, and he chuckles a bit. Just hearing his voice makes me swell with happiness. Just him being near me makes me feel like I can do anything –aside from facing the wrath of the sun this early in the morning.
"Alright, well how about you wait here, and I'll bring some breakfast up. No one else is up just yet, so it'll be fine." He winks as he says it, and is about to slip out but I stop him. Reactiveness has always been one of his best features, and he can tell what I'm going to demand just from the way I pout.
He places several small kisses on my cheek before eventually planting one firm one on my lips. I nearly sigh in contentment, and he's out the door, sneaking out in what I assumed was just his pants and undershirt. What a reckless bastard, but who am I to complain? I am the one who 'snuck into' his room last night –even though he had been waiting for me.
This is how it always is; the day is spent fighting evil and saving the world, the evenings are spent relaxing with friends, the night is spent sneaking to Alvin's room to receive my own 'reward', and the next morning is spent whining about the aches of battle and love, and eating breakfast with him, talking casually about our relationship. Time is a currency, and I wouldn't spend it any other way.
And while the kisses and sex is nice, the greatest feeling in the world is when he'll stop and ask if I'm alright, if I'm emotionally okay –at any given point of the day- and if I'm not feeling too good, he'll wrap his arm around my shoulder, and whisper in my ear the only three words I need to hear.
The door opens, and I'm still under the covers.
"Jude, I'm back. Got some scrambled eggs, bacon and toast." The smell of food takes me out of my blanket cocoon and he laughs at me for a moment as I sit up –hair undoubtedly disheveled. I brush it off with ease and go to the small table, grabbing the mug that was long designated as mine –dark purple with blue swirls- and fill it with coffee and cream. I ignore the aches and pains of my body as I move about, since they'll disappear once I have enough energy to heal myself.
"Think of anything interesting while I was gone?" He asks, voice gentle, as it always is when he's with me.
"Just how much I love everything about this. How much I love you." I smile as I say this, and he returns it happily. If I could decide what the last thing I would want to see before I died was, it would be his smiling face.
"Oh yeah?" Clanking his mug on the table, I can tell he's already finished off his coffee –black, as far as I could tell- and he's staring at me, his expression surprisingly gentle.
"Yeah, and, Alvin?" Even though I try to strike this up casually, I can only think of what I'm saying as serious. Because, truth be told, I'm terrible at romance; at keeping the bittersweet fears and loving embraces separate.
"Yes?" His voice is worried, and it only makes my heart beat faster.
"Promise me you won't leave me." Before I can stop it, tears are welling up in my eyes, and everything I'm feeling is so very bittersweet. My entire body aches, but my heart most of all, because with a record like his, he's bound to leave me. He's sure to grow tired of his 'little honors student' as he calls me so often. My fists clench at the thought, and I can't stand it. I love the time I spend with him, and I love all the little things he does to make sure I'm okay, and most of all, I love him.
"Hey, now. What brought this up?" I shrug, and he's kneeling in front of me in an instant, holding my hands in his. I feel I might cry. "You don't have to worry about anything, alright? I'm not going anywhere. In fact, you'll find yourself hard pressed to get rid of me. You know why?"
I shake my head.
"Because, even though my job may demand my attention more often than not, and you're going to return to being the overworked doctor you've always wanted to be, I will stay by your side. I'll always return to you, I'll never leave you alone for long. Because I know what it's like to be alone, to face despair all by yourself, and if I can, I want to keep you from ever having to face that; because I love you, Jude. I love you more than words could ever hope to convey, I love you more than anything in this world. You mean everything to me, Jude, so you don't have to worry; I'm not going anywhere."
I choke back a sob, and lean down to kiss him.
I never want to be alone again. And now, I don't have to be.
(x)
I will go down with this ship.