The Unexpected Zutaran

" 'I'll save you from the pirates' The troubled prince spoke softly, wrapping his hands gently around her wrists and staring into her azure blue eyes. The water tribe girl trembled with fear... no, not fear. She wished it was, but she couldn't deny the truth. She stared back into his his ravenous golden eyes. She felt as though they were drinking in her very soul, devouring her..."

"I WAS THREATENING HER!" Zuko grabbed for the scroll in Mai's hands. "Seriously, there was nothing sexy about it!"

She easily evaded him and kept reading aloud.

"She could feel his hot breath caressing her cheeks. She should hate him, he was Fire Nation, he was the enemy, but she couldn't. Her blood ran as hot as the breath across her skin..."

Zuko gave up on trying to wrestle the scroll away from her and threw up his hands in frustration.

"Ok, seriously, what is wrong with these people! There wasn't even... wait, how did anyone even know about that?"

A deviously little smile wormed it's way across Mai's face. "What do you mean ' how did anyone even know about that'. So this really did happen then?"

"NO!" Zuko protested. "Well, yeah, but... I mean, it happened, but not like that!"

She flipped the scroll around and read the ribbon identifying the author. "Are you sure, it seems that this was written by one of the pirates... as a first hand eyewitness account. Oh, so you even tied her up... I thought that was our special thing. Now I'm jealous."

Zuko's cheeks flushed and Mai had to use all her willpower not to burst out laughing. This really was too much fun. He was just so easy to mess with that sometimes it was just to hard to resist. She rolled up the scroll and put it back in it's case. Just as Zuko breathed a sigh of relief, She pulled out another scroll and unfurled it. Her eyes widened in mock amazement.

"Wow, this ones illustrated" She turned the scroll sideways and unrolled it a little more. "I didn't know you were that flexible."

Zuko grabbed the scroll out of her hands (only because she let him) and twisted it around in his hands, trying to figure out the confusing orientation of the two characters depicted.

"How come we never tried this?" Mai pouted.

"That's not even physically possible!" Zuko yelled after taking a few moments trying to figure out the configuration of jumbled limbs and body parts. After a few more seconds of staring at something that was maybe him and some dark skinned woman with an impossible amount of hair, he dropped the scroll to his side and gestured at it to Mai.

"I don't even know what's going on here."

Mai looked disappointed. "That's a shame. It looked kind of fun."

Zuko dropped the scroll and rubbed his temples. "I really don't understand why so many people think anything happened between me and Katara. It was probably that stupid play. I... hey, are you even listening!"

Mai already had another scroll unrolled. She let out a whistle as her eyes moved over it.

"Check those things out."

She flipped it toward Zuko to reveal a remarkably endowed and remarkably naked picture of his friend. Zuko Spun around and slapped his hands over his eyes.

"I don't want to see that!"

Mai turned it around and examined the drawing.

"I wonder is she uses waterbending to do that? I can see why you like her so much. "

Zuko gave up. He dropped his head and turned, giving her blank stare.

"I don't, but I'm beginning to think you might"

This was done in no way to mock or belittle anyones "ship". This scenario just popped into my head, it amused me and I decided to write it.

For some reason, I can totally see Mai doing this just to annoy Zuko. Even in the Avatar world, there's Zutarans, and Mai has this hidden collection of Zutaran smut that she busts out whenever Zuko starts taking himself too seriously.

That, and when she's bored.