The Yearning
Prolouge Toby POV I didn't think much of it when Ron pulled CJ away at the theater. For all I knew, he was telling her new information on her stalker that they had just caught. It wan't until sometime later when Ron came back, alone, that I felt something was wrong. The sullen look on Butterfield's face spelled out TROUBLE. Not bothering to ask what was wrong, I demanded to know where CJ went. He said he saw her heading towards Time Square. *What the hell? Time Square?* I excused myself and took off in that direction. I searched the New York crowd for the familar face of CJ Cregg. As I headed further down the streeet, the all too familar pang of fear spread throughout me. *Where is she? Is she OK? Hurt? Dead? Why did she take off? And WHAT the HELL is going on??* Desperation seeped through me as I got tangled in the crowd. Just short of panicking, I began to call out her name, but stopped short when I saw her on a bench nearby. "CJ," I breathed, heading towards her,"Why did you--" But I stopped as soon as she revealed her tear-streaked face from where it had been buried in her hands. I hurried towards her and embraced her confertingly. She collapsed against me, sobbing. Any other time, I would have given anything to be this close to her. I cradled her head, oblivious to the exact reason she was falling apart in my arms. Nothing has ever been so bad, so...TERRIBLE, that she would cry like this in front of me. I didn't know whether to feel honored or horribly scared that CJ Cregg was not afraid to cry infront of me. "CJ," I said in a voice softer than a whisper, "What happend?" I heard a muffled response against my chest. She slowly pulled away and searched my eyes for an answer to a question that I did not know exsisted. Her big, beautiful eyes were tired and sad. I felt her muster all of her strength together in order to provide an audible answer for me. "Toby," she gasped between sobs, "It's...it's Simon...he..." and there she was again, head buried into my tuxedo, tears falling freely onto my jacket. *Simon? Oh, damn. Oh Holy God. Not to CJ. Of all people, not her.* I admit I had a small twinge of jealousy whenever I had seen the two together, but seeing her happy and excited about something was worth it. Although she still did her flirtacious deals with me, Simon was the one she was eager to see everyday. *Damn* I had hardly known the man. We had talked briefly about baseball, in which I was very disappointed he was more of a Dodgers' fan than a Yankees'. So I sat there with CJ, the woman whom I loved and cared for more than anyone in the world, and comferted her with my silence. Every so often, she would take a couple, shakey breaths and mutter, "Oh, Toby..." and I would gently shush her and rock her slowly. I rested my chin on her head, looked to the sky above, and waited with her until the flashing lights of the motorcade came into view.
Prolouge Toby POV I didn't think much of it when Ron pulled CJ away at the theater. For all I knew, he was telling her new information on her stalker that they had just caught. It wan't until sometime later when Ron came back, alone, that I felt something was wrong. The sullen look on Butterfield's face spelled out TROUBLE. Not bothering to ask what was wrong, I demanded to know where CJ went. He said he saw her heading towards Time Square. *What the hell? Time Square?* I excused myself and took off in that direction. I searched the New York crowd for the familar face of CJ Cregg. As I headed further down the streeet, the all too familar pang of fear spread throughout me. *Where is she? Is she OK? Hurt? Dead? Why did she take off? And WHAT the HELL is going on??* Desperation seeped through me as I got tangled in the crowd. Just short of panicking, I began to call out her name, but stopped short when I saw her on a bench nearby. "CJ," I breathed, heading towards her,"Why did you--" But I stopped as soon as she revealed her tear-streaked face from where it had been buried in her hands. I hurried towards her and embraced her confertingly. She collapsed against me, sobbing. Any other time, I would have given anything to be this close to her. I cradled her head, oblivious to the exact reason she was falling apart in my arms. Nothing has ever been so bad, so...TERRIBLE, that she would cry like this in front of me. I didn't know whether to feel honored or horribly scared that CJ Cregg was not afraid to cry infront of me. "CJ," I said in a voice softer than a whisper, "What happend?" I heard a muffled response against my chest. She slowly pulled away and searched my eyes for an answer to a question that I did not know exsisted. Her big, beautiful eyes were tired and sad. I felt her muster all of her strength together in order to provide an audible answer for me. "Toby," she gasped between sobs, "It's...it's Simon...he..." and there she was again, head buried into my tuxedo, tears falling freely onto my jacket. *Simon? Oh, damn. Oh Holy God. Not to CJ. Of all people, not her.* I admit I had a small twinge of jealousy whenever I had seen the two together, but seeing her happy and excited about something was worth it. Although she still did her flirtacious deals with me, Simon was the one she was eager to see everyday. *Damn* I had hardly known the man. We had talked briefly about baseball, in which I was very disappointed he was more of a Dodgers' fan than a Yankees'. So I sat there with CJ, the woman whom I loved and cared for more than anyone in the world, and comferted her with my silence. Every so often, she would take a couple, shakey breaths and mutter, "Oh, Toby..." and I would gently shush her and rock her slowly. I rested my chin on her head, looked to the sky above, and waited with her until the flashing lights of the motorcade came into view.