Connie

"Not going to play ball?" They sneer at me. "We be back later and we'll try again. You will tell us what you know eventually – you will."

No. I won't.

I don't know if I'll ever see them again, it's certainly unlikely in the current circumstances, but you never know – miracles do happen. I believe that. Perhaps, one day soon, these men will be caught and I'll be with my family again. These men can ask me all they like - and in any way they like, but they'll never understand the sacrifice I made.

I've played my part brilliantly. Pretending ignorance and anger to anyone who asked – particularly Charlie, Ethan – and anyone else at work. Being distraught wasn't pretend though, because I am distraught to lose them.

Those were dim days back then, but these days are darker still. Ever since Sam got in way over his head, I knew the darkness would come. I know he had high hopes that our plan would keep me safe as well, but I knew better – and I was right.

Of course, the biggest thing was always about keeping Grace safe and happy. 'Disappearing' in the night was easier for me to cope with – because I'm the one who stayed behind. If they'd of said goodbye as Sam wanted, I'd have cried and begged them not to go. Grace would have known and she wouldn't have been happy. For all I'm a strong woman, losing my daughter broke my heart. I'm just thankful that she took it better than we expected.

I've never been one to pray, but I pray for that miracle every time I'm left on my own. Please let me see them again...see them again...see them again...

I let my family go to keep them safe. It was my idea. It was my plan and I'll take it to the grave if I have too.

Now I'm left on my own again, my mind flashes back to that night. The night he confessed to the whooping great hole he'd dug himself into. The night my plan formed. Gambling of all things – once he started, he couldn't stop. Even so, Loan sharks? I thought Sam was smarter than that.

"How much?" Too much was the answer – I've forgotten the exact figure, but even I don't have that much money.

"I don't know what to do. They'll hurt Grace if I can't pay." He mumbled, like a lost child. His usually over-large ego was nowhere in sight that evening.

He stared at me tearfully, with frightened puppy dog eyes – a way I'd never seem him look before and that frightened me. My sparring partner was all but gone and for once he was actually looking to me to put things right. I had to do something drastic, so I suggested my plan.

He'd disappear with Grace. It had to be sudden – and to make it more realistic, I wouldn't known exactly when they were going until they'd gone. It would still hurt – I knew that, but I'd have do an oscar-winning job of the abandoned 'wifey', (not that we're married). And I did – right down to the custody battle threats. Of course, those couldn't go on too long. We didn't want Grace to get wind of it, when Sam had told her it was my idea

I forbade Sam from having any voice contact with me, emails fine – but not phone. It was too hard and I'm glad I made that rule – many times, I've known that I would've begged him to come back with her if I could, because I miss my family so much. Even more now. Talking to Grace was hard, but she was happy, so that helped. I talked to her on the phone and by email, but I don't know their address. We were slightly worried about having to explain that to Grace, but she seemed content with the other methods of communication, so we didn't have to worry.

There was arguing before Sam left – mostly, 'why does it have to be you?' or 'this is my mess – let me sort it'.

"If you could sort it, Sam, you wouldn't have asked for my help." I reminded him. "Besides, they always go for the ones you love and we can't risk Grace getting hurt. Even if you give yourself up, Sam – they won't be interested in you, because you don't have the money. They'll just go for Grace and I. No – far better you and Grace disappear."

"Maybe if you lead everyone to think that I've acted really cruelly to you, then they'll think hurting you is pointless." He suggested hopefully.

"Exactly." I agreed – knowing this would make him agree to my terrible plan. I didn't have the heart to tell him that they'd hurt me anyway – not in so many words.

"No matter what happens, Sam – you can't come back, ok? If the contact with Grace stops for a while – there'll be a good reason for it. She'll be upset, but you tell her whatever you have to – even if you have to make her hate me. Just stay away."

These men are nasty, malicious individuals – and together they're worse, but none of them are particularly bright. If they were, my plan wouldn't have worked. They would have tracked down Sam and Grace in an instant themselves, but they've got no idea how to do that apparently. Over in America, Sam is working all hours he can to earn some extra money. Grace told me on the phone, but it's a lot of money he owes.

Sam's idea of them leaving me alone seemed to work to start with but dim as they are, I knew it was only a matter of time until they tried to 'squeeze' me for information. These men seem to think they're clever, but I knew when they were coming for me. I destroyed my phone and computer - both at home and work. I couldn't contact Grace if I wanted too – which I do.

I don't know how many days ago that was now. Their treatment of me so far hasn't been too bad – although I fully expect them to get nastier as time passes. True – they get a little rough with me sometimes, but I get plenty of water – though food, not very often and they don't allow me much dignity. Other than that it's just been relentless questioning so far, but I have a feeling it's going to get worse shortly. From when they first took me, I opted to say nothing. What's the use of telling them I don't know anything? They're not going to believe it, are they. I haven't said a word for days. I often wonder whether I remember how to speak if I get out of this.

The other thing on my mind in these lonesome moments is work. I was taken just after I'd finished my shift – and I was off for a couple of days, but surely they must have realised that something is very wrong by now. The computer in my office was smashed – anything to do with Grace and Sam were deleted first and of course any 'hospital' documents can be accessed via the other computers in the hospital. There was no need to smash the computer, but I wanted to give myself the best chance of being found. It's likely that no one will have gone in my office when I wasn't on shift, but if they go in when I don't turn up – alarm bells should start ringing. The door was forced in my house too, my laptop and mobile smashed – and I can't imagine these men being very good at clearing up after themselves. I'd like to think that my colleagues at work care enough to call the police. Even so, I worry that Sam will come forward if he hears that I've disappeared – and then it will all be for nothing.

Maybe we should have gone to the police instead of putting my plan into action, but there was absolutely no evidence at the time, because the men had only made threats at that point. We had no confidence that they could be caught and we weren't willing to put Grace at risk. Still, there should be plenty of evidence now. I have to hope that the police can connect the two and somehow find them – and preferably find me too.

I firmly believe that a miracle will happen and I will be back with my family. Soon. Until then, I'll just keep my mouth stubbornly shut. I don't know where they are – but I know how to find out – it's not difficult. It's just too difficult for my captors.

I hear the door rattle and I sit up straight as the men come in.

"This should get you too tell the truth." One of them sneers menacingly – holding up an injection.

An injection of some kind to 'persuade' me to tell the truth. Some kind of truth serum, presumably. Of course, whichever drug it is, they're not reliably known to work, but it doesn't surprise me that these men would try such a thing. They just don't give up do they.

The side effects could be unpleasant, but with regards to information, I suppose it doesn't matter whether it works or not – I don't know anything useful to them anyway. For the first time I'm glad that I don't know where my family are. Just sit tight Sam where ever you are. Sit tight and wait – it will all come right in the end.

Of course it depends what exactly is in that injection...I suppose I'm about to find out.