Chapter 1: Memories
"Do you not deny the accusations made against your person Mr. Potter?"
The Wizengamont and its attending members watched in solemn silence as the young eighteen year old boy said nothing to defend himself, only opting to remain in silence. Within the crowds, sat the Potter and Black families. Both staring at the boy they once considered family with a mixture of disgust and revulsion.
The Minister of Magic, one Amelia Bones sighed and nodded. "Very well, let it be known in the records that Harry James Potter has made no effort to dispute these claims."
Some would say that the trial for the accused was not necessary. That the boy in front of them today was nothing more than a devoted Death Eater fanatic was already enough to sentence him to a lifetime imprisonment within the walls of Azkaban. Nonetheless, the trial was a formality. One that was given to every remaining Death Eater after the demise of Lord Voldemort.
'Harry James Potter, you are being held responsible for seventy-two counts of active usage of the Unforgiveables. The terrorization of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Twenty-four counts of murder including one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. And two accounts of torture." Amelia spoke, her grey eyes boring into the guilty party in front of her. "You face over twenty life sentences sitting in a cell in Azkaban with no chance of parole. Do you have nothing to say in your defense?"
Harry weakly rose his head, revealing the sickly pallor his skin had taken. With three words, it sealed the punishment appointed to him. "It was necessary."
-()-
Harry didn't know how long he had been imprisoned within Azkaban. There was no concept of time within the prison. Whether he has been trapped in Azkaban for months or years, only the guards knew. The guards who've been the very antonym of merciful.
More than once, Harry allowed himself to dissolve in tears. He knew what he signed up for and he knew the outcome of it. Notions of whether the result was worth it wormed their way into his mind but Harry was to quickly banish them from thought. His role in the war was critical, crucial. Without his help, Harry knew that the peaceful ending everyone had sought and achieved, would have been nowhere in sight.
He had been afraid to look into the eyes of his family, to see the repugnance brewing within. His godfather made his resentment towards him quite clear when the final battle was over. When he managed to knock the mask obscuring Harry's face within their battle on the courtyard of Hogwarts. The look of shock and grief that flashed upon Sirius's face was enough to tear Harry's innards to shreds. Taking advantage of his hesitation, Harry stunned his godfather before moving on.
The next time Harry saw Sirius, he was beaten. Thoroughly. The rage and grief apparent within his godfather took ahold of him, causing for him to lash out. Echoes of his barbs and slander punched Harry in the gut.
In his eyes Harry could see, the Harry he once knew was nothing more than a faint reflection in the depths of his memories.
Harry clutched his knees to his chest as the howls of the Dementors came closer. The shrieks and cries of terror began pounding in his head as images of crying women and children burrowed their way into his mind, their eyes staring into his own pleading for death to arrive.
"Pitiful…" Voldemort hissed as he swirled around Harry. His wand was aimed at the sobbing muggle family, huddling together in the corner of the burning house. "Look at these muggles, defenseless, cowering in terror. Learn this feeling boy, learn to relish it. The feeling of power and superiority." Harry's hand shook as Voldemort's words caressed his ear.
The blue eyes of a small three year old child connected with his own. The orbs of cerulean staring in confusion and fear at the situation around her.
"Do it!"
Closing his eyes, Harry uttered two words that would continue to haunt him for the rest of his life.
…
"You have all demonstrated your loyalty to my cause, to rid the world of those unworthy and to start anew. Understand that from today onward, you commit yourselves to me. You pledge your loyalty, your faith, in me. I will not accept failure, I will have no tolerance for any mistakes you take. If you decide not to heed my warning, I will show you the true error of your actions."
Harry kept his gaze focused solely on the ground as he stayed kneeled to the creature that called himself Lord Voldemort. Besides him, he could hear someone twitch nervously as he listened to Voldemort's words.
The room was silent as Voldemort's crimson eyes scoured the group of kneeling Death Eater recruits in front of him. Inspecting every single one, as if searching for a particular someone.
With a sudden yank, Harry found himself mere inches from Lord Voldemort.
"Rise," Came the chill voice of the monstrosity.
Shakily rising to his feet, Harry kept his eyes lowered as he sensed Voldemort circling around him, like a wolf drawn to prey.
"Yes," Voldemort spoke, a slight trace of humor evident within his tone as he inspected the boy. "I have no doubts you will perform marvelously. The son of Potter and his mudblood. I will truly enjoy the day when you will face them in battle, to see their reactions when they fight their offspring."
Voldemort then paused before trickling a long, slender finger beneath Harry's chin, forcing him to look into the malevolent eyes of the one who called himself Lord.
"But, a question still remains in the corners of my mind." Voldemort hissed, his eyes boring into Harry's own emerald orbs. "What reason would you have to find it within yourself to join me? The son of a purely light family, allied with none other but Dumbledore himself. Do you seek power? Fame? No, no, it's more than that isn't it? Perhaps its jealousy for your brother's fame while you were left behind unnoticed?"
Sweat began to trickle down his brow as he felt a hand rest upon his shoulder.
"Or perhaps you could be another one of Dumbledore's attempts to infiltrate my ranks?" The hand on his shoulder began to squeeze tightly as two men burst into the room, carrying a bloodied body between them.
Thrown onto the ground with a loud moan of pain, Harry locked eyes with the man whom he recognized as his potions professor. Severus Snape. The cold, unforgiving man now laid in tatters in front of him. Eyes clouded with pain, Snape erupted into a coughing fit as he was kicked in the stomach. Blood splattered the dark wooden floors as Snape's coughing fit began to end.
"Ahhh, Serverus. It is truly disheartening to see that my ranks have been managed to be infiltrated so easily." The silky voice of Voldemort spoke. "Have I not given you everything you wished? And this is how you pay my generosity? You disappoint me Severus."
The hand clutching Harry's shoulder gripped tighter, squeezing his shoulder painfully as Voldemort stared at the wounded man before him. As Severus looked up, Harry could see a hint of defiance within his eyes. Defiance covering up his true emotions. Fear. Fear not from the creature standing above him but fear for the boy in front of him. Sadly, Voldemort noticed something similar.
"I see you recognize the boy Severus, would you like to share what you feel in front of everyone else?"
No words were spoken as Snape stared hatefully at the creature in front of him.
"Very well," The pressure lessened upon Harry's shoulder, almost causing for Harry to sigh in relief. "It's time to prove your loyalty child. Bring Severus to Diagon Alley, let us show the world what we do to traitors."
Harry felt himself jerked forward besides Voldemort as he was led to the fireplace.
"What about my mask milord?" Harry spoke, the words tasting like ash in his mouth as they paused before the fireplace. A cruel smirk flitted across the snake-like creature's face.
"No, we will show the world who you are, and whom you will be."
…
"Stop forth boy!"
Harry slowly walked forward, from behind the robes of black to the side of Voldemort, whom decided to wear a silver mask himself to conceal himself. The moment Harry emerged from the sea of black, Harry immediately noticed that his reveal elicited gasps and screams of shock from the crowd.
"No!" Came a scream from within the crowd.
Tearing his heart into shreds, Harry watched as his mother pushed her way through the crowd to stand at its forefront, followed by members of the Order of the Phoenix.
Voldemort laughed at the pitiful scene before him as he watched the red haired woman try to break free towards the boy standing beside him.
"Harry please!"
Harry avoided the gaze of his pleading mother, opting to shield his ears away from the heartbreaking cries of Lily Potter. Turning his gaze to his father who was currently restraining her, Harry saw nothing but sadness and brokenness as James stared at the scene before him.
In front of Harry, sat the broken body of Severus Snape. Restrained and slumped upon a stage where he was laid bare for all to see. Dread began to fill his veins as he was pushed in front of everyone else to stand directly in front of Snape.
"Do it, prove your loyalty to me!" Voldemort hissed.
Staring into the ebony eyes of Serverus Snape, an unspoken message passed between the two. An apology and a promise. A promise that would become Harry's lifeline, his hold upon the darkness.
"Stay strong."
With a nod, Harry rose his wand. The screams of the pleading and crying lost to his ears.
…
"He is planning on storming the Ministry tonight."
Albus Dumbledore nodded, his face grim as he stared back at his spy.
"You must tell my brother it is a trap." Harry growled, slamming his fist upon the oak desk. "He isn't going alone. Malfoy, the Lestranges, Macnair, his entire inner circle will be there to stop him!"
"You know I cannot Harry," Dumbledore finally spoke, an apology evident within his gaze.
"HE WILL DIE!" Harry roared, swiping everything off the desk, causing for the glass decors to shatter upon the stone floor. "He and his friends! Are you so deluded that you will allow a handful of fifteen year olds to perish at the hands of those murderers?"
Dumbledore quickly rose, his blue eyes blazing with fury. "Do not presume to tell me I do not care for the students under my care! Even now, the Order of the Phoenix is mobilizing to help aid them against this threat.
"But you yourself won't go," Harry spoke bitterly.
"Need I remind you Harry that even now the Ministry hunts for me? Until Voldemort appears, I cannot go. You have my reassurance that the moment Voldemort appears, I shall arrive to save your brother and his friends."
"Voldemort himself appeared directly in the middle of Diagon Alley last year and the Ministry still refuses to believe the claims he is back?" Harry snarled, "The Minister is completely idiotic."
"Fudge is a much blinded individual." Dumbledore sighed. "He is scared to admit he is back so unless he sees him with his very own eyes, he will refuse to admit anything. This is why I cannot show myself until Voldemort himself arrives."
"So you send the Order of the Phoenix in your steed," Harry scowled. "Do you not care for them as well?"
"They can handle themselves quite well in fact." Dumbledore spoke, his hand resting upon the wand in his lap. "Especially Miss Delacour-"
"Stop, you have no right." Harry hissed. "I sacrificed everything for you, my family, my life, the girl I loved, just so we can get rid of this creature who dares call himself the Dark Lord. Don't you dare lord everything the girl I love, has done without me."
"As you wish," Dumbledore acquiesced. "You should return to Voldemort now, I have no doubts that he will begin to wonder about your whereabouts should you be absent for too long for the assault on the Ministry."
…
"Bill Weasley and Fleur are engaged."
"Yes," Dumbledore spoke, his eyes gazing upon the downtrodden nineteen year old. "A rather unanticipated set of events that I did not foresee."
Dumbledore watched as Harry Potter sat down glumly in the armchair across from him. Pulling out a bottle of Firewhiskey, Dumbledore gently poured a glass for himself and the boy across from him.
"I'm sorry for your loss." Dumbledore said softly, pushing a glass towards Harry. "If it's any consolation, I am sure that Miss Delacour is quite elevated at the turn of events."
"How can I be happy?" Harry spat bitterly as he downed his glass of Firewhiskey. "The woman I love is currently engaged to someone who is unworthy of her."
"How so?" Dumbledore asked, refilling Harry's glass.
"He's egotistical, self-entitled. Thinks that just because he is a highly accomplished curse-breaker he believes he deserves nothing but the best.I bet he has the Weasley mindset that Fleur should be a stay-at-home wife just like every other traditional Pureblood wife." Harry growled, glaring at the amber liquid within his glass. "Fleur deserves someone who cares about her every second of every day without smothering her ambitions. Someone to defend her whenever possible but willing to give her the space she needs. Someone… someone…"
"Someone like you?" Dumbledore asked, his eyebrow raising slightly.
Harry paused unsure how to answer before slumping in his seat once more.
"No," Harry reluctantly answered. "I hurt her. I told her I will never turn my back on her and that I will always be there to support her only to find myself leaving her in the following week just so I could protect her. I have no doubt that she hates me."
"Yes you hurt her." Dumbledore spoke, swirling the Firewhiskey in his glass. "But she still cares for you. The silver locket you gifted her? She still carries around her neck. I believe she still has hopes that one day, the man she is looking for will return."
"And what will happen then?" Harry asked, glaring at Dumbledore. "We rejoice and skip off into the sunset? Evidently she choose Weasley over the man that crushed her. And I have no one to blame but myself."
"Do not be so harsh upon yourself Harry," Dumbledore gently reprimanded. "Miss Delacour was hurting from your loss and Bill Weasley accidently stumbled upon it. I hold no delusions that they will last long together as a couple."
"How does that help me?" Harry laughed bitterly, downing his second glass. "I'm a Death Eater remember? His newly initiated member of his inner circle. Before I even get the chance to speak to her, I will be restrained, crucified, and cast out to Azkaban where I will live out the rest of my days. Never being able to speak to Fleur or my family ever again."
"Harry." Dumbledore addressed sternly. "I promise you by the time this war is over, I will be besides you as we announce to all of the world of the crucial role you played in this war in aiding us against Voldemort. And I will be besides you as you are welcomed into the world once more with open arms."
…
"You promised me!"
The cry went unanswered as Harry sobbed in front of the white tomb on the grounds of Hogwarts.
"You promised me you will be there with me when the war was over. Why would you make me do something like this?" Harry stared bitterly at the plaque commemorating Albus Dumbledore.
"I hate you so much," Harry spat. "You left me here to deal with all... all of this? I don't… I can't… how am I supposed to fix this now that you are dead?"
Only silence answered his words as the rain continued to pour heavily upon the rolling hills of Scotland, hiding the tears of grief pouring down Harry's cheeks.
"I never wanted this, I never wanted to kill anyone…"
...
"Is this the cup Bellatrix?"
"Of course," She answered haughtily. "Come now ickle Potty, I thought after all this time, you would have thought better of me!"
As Harry reached for it, Bellatrix quickly retracted the package.
"I don't think so," Bellatrix tittered, a sultry smirk gracing her lips. "Not without a kiss first handsome!"
Harry growled softly but uttered no words in return. Leaning forward, Harry quickly pecked Bellatrix on the lips before taking ahold of the cursed Cup of Helga Hufflepuff, softly lowering it into his moleskin pouch.
"I will inform the Dark Lord of your actions this day and insure that you receive his gratitude," Harry spoke before walking away from the gleefully cackling madwoman behind him.
…
Harry tracked his brother down into the Forest of Dean. There he encountered rather impressive wards set by probably none other than his brother's best friend, Hermione Granger.
"Expecto Patronum"
From his wand, shot an impressive silvery four-legged creature. A doe made out of silvery vapor looking as graceful as the sunset. A lump wedged itself in his throat as the doe came to a rest inches away from him.
"Hey mum. " Harry croaked as he reached his hand out only to watch disappointedly as it fell through the silvery vapor. "I'm… I'm sorry for everything. And I hope that one day, you will be able to forgive me. There is not a day that goes by without me wishing I could be with you, dad, Charles, and Fleur once more."
"I miss you guys so much and… and…" Harry took a deep breath as his emotions began to arise. "I wish that I didn't have to hurt you guys for doing what needed to be done. How else am I supposed to help Charles to defeat You-Know-Who without doing this? I have to protect my little brother in some way and this is the best way there is. Even if I had to hurt you, dad, Charles and everyone else I loved along with it. Please know that I will have never forgiven myself for what I had to do. And if I had the choice, I would do it all over again to protect all of you."
Ushering his Patronus forward, Harry rested the Horcrux upon a flat stone and hid in a nearby bush, waiting. Minutes later, he heard the rustle of branches as Charles burst into the clearing, following the doe that led him there.
"Mum?" Charles spoke, his eyes scouring the clearing. Seeing nothing, Charles turned to leave until his eyes rested upon the cup in front of him.
Harry watched as Charles slowly approached the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff. The moment Charles picked the cup up and a tinge of recognition crossed his face, Harry apparated away.
…
"Protego!"
Harry found himself locked in battle against Sirius Black, his own godfather.
Dodging to the left to avoid the bone-breaker hex launched his way, Harry let loose with a series of stunners and disarming charms, aiming to incapacitate his godfather rather than kill him.
Unfortunately, his godfather didn't seem to be in a reciprocating mood.
A salvo of violet and red spells flew towards him as Harry danced out of the way. Flicking his wand to the side, Harry transfigured two pieces of stone into a giant dog before commanding it to charge at Sirius.
However the time it took for Harry to cast it, Sirius casted the Severing Charm straight at him. By pure luck, Harry managed to survive it. The charm seemed to end after cutting through his silver mask and slicing open the left side of his face.
Staggering back, Harry felt the twin halves of his silver mask fall to the ground. Grabbing ahold to the bloodied side of his face, Harry looked upward to see the shocked face of his godfather. Deciding to utilize the pause given to him as the leftmost side of his face was gushing blood, Harry quickly launched a stunner towards Sirius before apparating away.
Harry lifted his eyes as his cell door began to creak open. A chill filled the air as the Dementor glided forward. Within its robes, a grey flesh decayed hand emerged and wrapped itself around Harry's throat. His eyes quickly flicking to the side, Harry affirmed that the vials of his memories were safely concealed beneath the pillow provided to him in his cold cell.
The death calling rattle echoed from the Dementor as Harry was lifted against the wall, robbing him of his airways. Harry began to choke, his feet kicking as he watched the Dementor slowly lift its hand up and lowered its hood, revealing a gapless hole inhaling every last happy memory within him.
Then nothing.
A/N: This was inspired by "The Trial" by reviewgirl911. I also plan for this to be at least a two-shot.