Digimon: Dogma Prolog
Based on the film by: Kevin Smith
By Digfan3:16
Ratted: R (this is the ratting for every part)
Disclaimer: 1. A statement made to give credit to any one in this story that was not created by me. 2. A statement made to save one's own ass.
This is a work of fanfiction. I don't own the Digidestened (which I've aged to adults, and I'm using only some of them), Ruffus, Jay, or Silent Bob or any characters made by Kevin Smith or the guy that created Digimon. And I don't want any religious people flaming me claming I'm making fun of religion (or in this case, Kevin Smith since this is based on his film). Like Kevin Smith said during his disclaimer during Dogma, the judgment of this story is for God and God alone (this goes out to you reviewers out there—just kidding.).
Just remember that God too has a sense of humor, just look at the Pokemon. Now, enjoy the story.
A note to you Pokemon lovers: That was just an example, I didn't mean to make fun of Kids WB's and Nintendo's stupid critters. Now, enjoy the story.
The sun was just coming up over the boardwalk in Ash Barry Park, New Jersey. An old man is standing outside the skeetball area waiting for it to open, suddenly, there's a buzzing sound as three kids on rollerblades caring hokey sticks appear behind the old man. A few seconds latter, the kids rush and beat the old man into unconscious
Meanwhile, at a nearby church, a press conference is under way, with cardinal Glick is speaking:
"The Catholic Church is launching the 'Cathososim: WOW!' campaign. The Catholic Church is using this year as a revival of both faith and style. Take for example, the holy cross, this holy, recognizable, yet depressing symbol of the church is retiring. Christ didn't come down here to give us the willies, he came down to lift our spirits. That's why we created the new symbol…" Glick says as he removes a cloth covering "…the Buddy Christ." The statue is one of Christ pointing and winking. "This is just a name were kicking in the office, but, look at it doesn't it just kick. This is just one of many revivals were doing…"
On TV, at a Wisconsin airport, a reporter continues what Glick was saying:
"…for the Catholic Church to increase attendance. This church is also known for a little known Catholic belief that if you pass through the arch, you sins are forgiven and you are given a morally clean slate. For CNN, this is Tom Johnson reporting."
At that same airport, we see a man with brown hair, goggles, blue shirt and brown shorts talking to a nun with a change jar. This man is Tai, but he is no man.
"All I'm saying is, if God exists, then where is he when trouble happens, why doesn't he scold all the murders rapist and thieves in the world. If God did exist, then where is he?" Hearing all of this is another man. He has blond hair, a green shirt, and blue jeans. His name is Matt, but, like Tai, he is no man.
"My god, you're right." The nun replied to Tai's comment. "What have I done with my life?" "Do your self a favor," replied Tai, "take the money you collected and buy your self something nice." "I will and thank you." The nun said and left. "What's with you?" Matt asked. "You know there's a God, you've seen his presence, you even spoke to him directly, yet you clam you're an Atheist." "I just like to play with the clergy." Replied Tai. "So why do you like coming here?" He asked. Matt pointed to a couple who haven't seen each other for a long time and said: "See that, that's why I come here. All the sadness and evils of the world forgotten in just a few minuets. What that man doesn't know was that while he was away, his girl friend was having an affair. But that doesn't matter here." "Is this why you dragged me out here?" Tai replied. Then Matt answered: "No to show you this, we're going home." "Did I hear you right? We're going home?" Asked a surprised Tai. Matt then pulled out a newspaper clipping. "I got this morning." He said. "Read this." "Cardinal Glick launches the Catholicism: WOW! Campaign." Tai said as he read the article out loud. "What's this have to due with us?" Matt then replied: "Read on!"
A few minutes later:
"So all we have to do is pass through the arch thingy on the day of the rededicated ceremony in four days and we get to go home?" Asked Tai. "No," replied Matt, "we pass through the archway, then clip our wings, there by becoming human, then we die, then we go home." "DIE?!" Tai said surprised. "How else are we going home?" Asked Matt. "Good point." Tai replied. "But how do you know if this'll work?" He asked. "Don't you remember what the Son of God said: 'What ever you hold truth on Earth, I'll hold truth in heaven." Matt answered "I want to do something first." Tai said as he handed Matt an article that read "Pikachu: From Nintendo video game, to childhood favorite and Kid's WB' cash cow" "Awww… you don't mean…" Matt said knowing what Tai wanted to do. "Awww… come on Matt, I want to get these guys and what better way to get back at his graces." "There hasn't been an angel of death since you quit." Matt said. "Shouldn't that tell you something?" "Yeah," replied Tai, "that I'm irreplaceable. Besides, we'll be forgiven for all our sins, so no harm, no foul." Tai said. "Well," Matt said, "he does had competition, and Pikachu is competition. All right, but we better not miss the dedication ceremony." Tai then said as they were getting on an elevator: "Our last four days on Earth, If I had a dick I'd get laid, but I can do the next best thing." "What?" Asked Matt. "Kill people." Upon hearing this, a woman spits out her coffee and then Tai said: "Not you."
To be continued…