I'm an idiot.
I'm a coward, too.
But mostly, I'm an idiot.
You trust your family, right?
I mean, to some extent? You sleep in the same house with them there, and you are most vulnerable when you sleep, so there's a least a tiny bit of trust, right?
One should be able to trust one's family.
If you can, count yourself lucky; I can't.
I'm too terrified to sleep in the same house with my little brother. Seems silly, doesn't it?
It wouldn't if you knew Mokuba like I do.
It started about nine years ago, when Mokuba was ten. That a pretty young age to be feared, isn't it? I guess you'd have to know him the way I do to understand.
I'd come home rather late, working the hardest I could so that the company would be perfect when Mokuba took over--the usual. On the way home, I was thinking of a friend of a friend--someone I truly love to torment, because he's so damned beautiful when he's angry--and when I opened the door to the house, I'll admit I was hard. I had just decided that a cold shower seemed in order when motion on the stairs caught my attention. Guess who.
"'Nii-san...?" That cute, sleepy little confused voice he used every time he stayed up late for me to get home.
"Mokuba," I sighed, sliding off my jacket and hanging it up, "you should have gone to bed hours ago. You fell asleep on the stairs again, didn't you?"
"I didn't want you to be alone when you got home, 'nii-san." He slid off the stairs and padded towards me, smiling.
I suddenly knew he hadn't fallen asleep at all, and that made me curious--why the deception? "I was going to go to your room and make sure you were tucked in, otouto. Why don't you head to bed, and I'll be right there?"
He pouted, and I felt his eyes burn a long, searching gaze down my body--it settled on my rather obvious erection. His pout changed to a smile, and he glided towards me again. "Is that for me, Seto?"
That was a rather odd question, now wasn't it? Especially for my ten year old little brother. "Of course not. You're my brother; that's disgusting. Now, go to bed, Mokuba." I thought that would take care of it; I had taken the situation in hand, and it would be fine.
One more gliding step, and my little brother reached out and cupped my crotch, making me yelp. I tried to step back, but the little brat had a rather tight grip. Apperantly, I wasn't the one with things, 'in hand.' "Come to bed with me, 'nii-san."
Direct, isn't he? "No, Mokuba. Let go of my crotch and go to bed." Firm, but I did squeak--you would too, if my little brother had his grip of steel attatched to your balls.
A soft, teasing pout, and he pulled down--forcing me to my knees, so he didn't have to look up, I suppose. He leaned forward and lightly bit my lips. "No," he breathed against my mouth, "I don't think I'll be sleeping alone tonight, Seto. You're going to do everything I tell you to."
"And why would I do that?"
Another of those frightening smiles. "Because--you're mine."
I'm not going to go into detail with this--suffice it to say that my brother is damn good at both intimidation and seducing the unwilling. No, I didn't 'plow him,' as Jounouchi would say--that would have put me in a position of power over Mokuba--he's smarter than that. But, well, over the past nine years, he's plowed me enough for both of us--hell, for everyone.
You see why I'm terrified to sleep in the same house with that beast? I'm too afraid he'll rape me while I sleep--I'm not sure whether or not that's better than when you're awake, but at least while I'm awake, I'm aware of what's going on.
In case you're wondering, yes, Jounouchi is the sexy boy I love to torment--I can't help it, I just want him. I thought I could never dare try for him, because I knew I was damaged goods, and--this is going to sound cliche--dammit, Jou deserves better than me. I didn't even think he wanted me.
Christ, I'm an idiot, aren't I?
I had already left work, and I was roaming about the park, for obvious reasons not wanting to go home yet. And whom should I spy on one of the creaky, overused swings but the object of my affection, himself. God, even by moonlight, he's golden.
I know, I know--I feel like a poet, but I sound like an idiot. Like I said--I am an idiot.
I wanted to speak with him so badly, but one glance at my watch told me I had better be getting home to Mokuba--or he'd make it so I couldn't sit comfortably for a week. Sadistic bitch.
Don't get me wrong--I love Mokuba. It's just that my masochism levels are substantially lower than his sadist levels, if you catch my meaning. Oh yeah, that, and screwing siblings--not to mention raping them--is twisted and WRONG.
But, I digress. Jou must have caught the flash of light from my watch out of the corner of his eye, because he waved me over. "C'mon, don't hide in the shadows, over there. The least you can do is show me your face."
I sighed and stepped forward, tilting my head so my hair wouldn't overshadow my face. "What brings you to the park this late at night, Jounouchi?" I asked softly, walking towards the swings and trying to ignore how much my heart pounded with each step.
He looked at me funny. "Do you realize that's only the second or third time in the entire eight years we've known each other that you've called me by my name, Kaiba?"
"Third, and it's been nine years." I sat on the swing next to his. "And, if I'm calling you by your name, shouldn't I get the same favor in return?"
He snorted, still eyeing me. "Seto, then. What brings you out here? Shouldn't you be--takin' care of the pipsqueak, or somethin'?"
I managed to twist my grimace at the mention of Mokuba into a smile--just for Jou. God, I'm pathetic. "I asked first, Jou."
He sighed and looked out over the silvered grass. "Just thinkin,' I guess."
"About what?"
He turned his head to regard me once more. "I got a dozen red roses, today. Just wondering who they might have been from."
I raised a brow and turned my head to stare in the general direction of the slide. Right then, I found it fascinating. "Any ideas?"
"One, but it's kind of a crazy one. Based purely on my little wishful fantasies, yanno?"
Oh, I knew how those could run away with you, yes. Just then I was fighting the image of telling Jou how I felt--how I feel--about him, and listening to him declare love in return. Then, of course, there were the inevitable images of laying him down on the grass, stripping him slowly, and making the sweetest love in the world to him right there in the park. "I think I could understand. Are you going to confront them?"
A pause. "Nah. If he's not man enough to tell me how he feels to my face, then he ain't worth my time. G'night, Kaiba--I gotta get to bed." He stood and started to walk away.
"Seto." I said softly, getting to my feet and following him.
"Huh? Oh, right." He turned to look at me, and I kept walking toward him. "G'night, Seto."
I stopped in front of him and took hold of his chin, leaning in to kiss him briefly on the lips before he could pull away. "Good night, Jou. Aishiteru." And I turned around and left him standing there, gaping at my retreating back.
Told you I'm an idiot.
Now I lay here on the floor, gaze locked on my little brother, who clutches the knife Bakura gave him tightly in one fist. It's fascinating, the way my blood drips off of it. I could watch it forever...or at least for the next five minutes, because that's about all the time I have left. "Mo...ku...ba..."
He frowns down at me. "I told you you were mine, Seto. Why didn't you listen to me?"
"Mo...ku...ba..." Stupid and repetitive, I know, but his name is all I can say right now--everything else just takes too much energy.
"You just had to send those flowers to that fleabag, Jonouchi, didn't you, 'nii-san? I told you you were mine--and I don't share what's mine, especially not with mouthy jerkoff nobodies like that."
A flash of headlights from the drive, and my nineteen year old little brother frowns again. "What now?" He huffs, and heads upstairs to clean up.
There's a soft knock on the door, which makes it swing open a bit wider, hitting me in the head. It probably hurts, but I'm not really in a state of mind to care right now, really. I turn my head a bit--Christ, that's hard--and look into the wide, beautiful eyes of Jounouchi. He's so beautiful.
"Seto!" He immediately kneels on the floor beside me and pulls my head into his lap. "What happened? Who did this to you?"
"Mo...ku...ba..."
"You want me to go check on him?"
I want to close my eyes in frustration, but I know if I do, I'll never open them again. "No...Mo...ku...ba...did..."
"Your little brother stabbed you?" Not quite as incredulous as it might have been nine years ago, had I told him my little brother was raping me. Been letting the mask slip, otouto?
"H-hai..."
He scowls. "I'll make sure he pays for it, Seto--I promise."
"And just how will you manage that, fleabag?" My brother's voice, from the stairs. Crap. Run, Jou. Now, please.
He would stand, but he won't move my head from his lap, so he just glares at Mokuba from where he kneels. "You're a monster. How could you stab your own brother?"
One slim shoulder rises and falls in indifference. "It was fairly simple, really. Not a complicated motion, stabbing. Would it shock you to know I've been fucking him for the past nine years, too?"
"You're sick."
"And you're repetitive, puppy. I tire of you. You stole my Seto away from me. I can never forgive you for that." He raises the knife and in one smooth motion throws it at Jou's chest.
With me in his lap, Jou never had a chance. The blade buried itself to the hilt in the blond's heart. He didn't even have the opportunity to swear.
I hate the dark. That won't keep it from me, as I've been slowly bleeding all of my life to stain the foyer of the manor house for the past ten or fifteen minutes or so. I just...I really hate the dark.
Footsteps. "Idiot fleabag." Mokuba's voice, from far away, and Jou is pulled away from me. My head hits the floor, but I'm too numb to feel it. "You're an idiot, too, Seto."
I know. How many times have I stated that thus far? Here's one more; I'm an idiot.
One should be able to trust one's family, don't you think?
I'm a coward, too.
But mostly, I'm an idiot.
You trust your family, right?
I mean, to some extent? You sleep in the same house with them there, and you are most vulnerable when you sleep, so there's a least a tiny bit of trust, right?
One should be able to trust one's family.
If you can, count yourself lucky; I can't.
I'm too terrified to sleep in the same house with my little brother. Seems silly, doesn't it?
It wouldn't if you knew Mokuba like I do.
It started about nine years ago, when Mokuba was ten. That a pretty young age to be feared, isn't it? I guess you'd have to know him the way I do to understand.
I'd come home rather late, working the hardest I could so that the company would be perfect when Mokuba took over--the usual. On the way home, I was thinking of a friend of a friend--someone I truly love to torment, because he's so damned beautiful when he's angry--and when I opened the door to the house, I'll admit I was hard. I had just decided that a cold shower seemed in order when motion on the stairs caught my attention. Guess who.
"'Nii-san...?" That cute, sleepy little confused voice he used every time he stayed up late for me to get home.
"Mokuba," I sighed, sliding off my jacket and hanging it up, "you should have gone to bed hours ago. You fell asleep on the stairs again, didn't you?"
"I didn't want you to be alone when you got home, 'nii-san." He slid off the stairs and padded towards me, smiling.
I suddenly knew he hadn't fallen asleep at all, and that made me curious--why the deception? "I was going to go to your room and make sure you were tucked in, otouto. Why don't you head to bed, and I'll be right there?"
He pouted, and I felt his eyes burn a long, searching gaze down my body--it settled on my rather obvious erection. His pout changed to a smile, and he glided towards me again. "Is that for me, Seto?"
That was a rather odd question, now wasn't it? Especially for my ten year old little brother. "Of course not. You're my brother; that's disgusting. Now, go to bed, Mokuba." I thought that would take care of it; I had taken the situation in hand, and it would be fine.
One more gliding step, and my little brother reached out and cupped my crotch, making me yelp. I tried to step back, but the little brat had a rather tight grip. Apperantly, I wasn't the one with things, 'in hand.' "Come to bed with me, 'nii-san."
Direct, isn't he? "No, Mokuba. Let go of my crotch and go to bed." Firm, but I did squeak--you would too, if my little brother had his grip of steel attatched to your balls.
A soft, teasing pout, and he pulled down--forcing me to my knees, so he didn't have to look up, I suppose. He leaned forward and lightly bit my lips. "No," he breathed against my mouth, "I don't think I'll be sleeping alone tonight, Seto. You're going to do everything I tell you to."
"And why would I do that?"
Another of those frightening smiles. "Because--you're mine."
I'm not going to go into detail with this--suffice it to say that my brother is damn good at both intimidation and seducing the unwilling. No, I didn't 'plow him,' as Jounouchi would say--that would have put me in a position of power over Mokuba--he's smarter than that. But, well, over the past nine years, he's plowed me enough for both of us--hell, for everyone.
You see why I'm terrified to sleep in the same house with that beast? I'm too afraid he'll rape me while I sleep--I'm not sure whether or not that's better than when you're awake, but at least while I'm awake, I'm aware of what's going on.
In case you're wondering, yes, Jounouchi is the sexy boy I love to torment--I can't help it, I just want him. I thought I could never dare try for him, because I knew I was damaged goods, and--this is going to sound cliche--dammit, Jou deserves better than me. I didn't even think he wanted me.
Christ, I'm an idiot, aren't I?
I had already left work, and I was roaming about the park, for obvious reasons not wanting to go home yet. And whom should I spy on one of the creaky, overused swings but the object of my affection, himself. God, even by moonlight, he's golden.
I know, I know--I feel like a poet, but I sound like an idiot. Like I said--I am an idiot.
I wanted to speak with him so badly, but one glance at my watch told me I had better be getting home to Mokuba--or he'd make it so I couldn't sit comfortably for a week. Sadistic bitch.
Don't get me wrong--I love Mokuba. It's just that my masochism levels are substantially lower than his sadist levels, if you catch my meaning. Oh yeah, that, and screwing siblings--not to mention raping them--is twisted and WRONG.
But, I digress. Jou must have caught the flash of light from my watch out of the corner of his eye, because he waved me over. "C'mon, don't hide in the shadows, over there. The least you can do is show me your face."
I sighed and stepped forward, tilting my head so my hair wouldn't overshadow my face. "What brings you to the park this late at night, Jounouchi?" I asked softly, walking towards the swings and trying to ignore how much my heart pounded with each step.
He looked at me funny. "Do you realize that's only the second or third time in the entire eight years we've known each other that you've called me by my name, Kaiba?"
"Third, and it's been nine years." I sat on the swing next to his. "And, if I'm calling you by your name, shouldn't I get the same favor in return?"
He snorted, still eyeing me. "Seto, then. What brings you out here? Shouldn't you be--takin' care of the pipsqueak, or somethin'?"
I managed to twist my grimace at the mention of Mokuba into a smile--just for Jou. God, I'm pathetic. "I asked first, Jou."
He sighed and looked out over the silvered grass. "Just thinkin,' I guess."
"About what?"
He turned his head to regard me once more. "I got a dozen red roses, today. Just wondering who they might have been from."
I raised a brow and turned my head to stare in the general direction of the slide. Right then, I found it fascinating. "Any ideas?"
"One, but it's kind of a crazy one. Based purely on my little wishful fantasies, yanno?"
Oh, I knew how those could run away with you, yes. Just then I was fighting the image of telling Jou how I felt--how I feel--about him, and listening to him declare love in return. Then, of course, there were the inevitable images of laying him down on the grass, stripping him slowly, and making the sweetest love in the world to him right there in the park. "I think I could understand. Are you going to confront them?"
A pause. "Nah. If he's not man enough to tell me how he feels to my face, then he ain't worth my time. G'night, Kaiba--I gotta get to bed." He stood and started to walk away.
"Seto." I said softly, getting to my feet and following him.
"Huh? Oh, right." He turned to look at me, and I kept walking toward him. "G'night, Seto."
I stopped in front of him and took hold of his chin, leaning in to kiss him briefly on the lips before he could pull away. "Good night, Jou. Aishiteru." And I turned around and left him standing there, gaping at my retreating back.
Told you I'm an idiot.
Now I lay here on the floor, gaze locked on my little brother, who clutches the knife Bakura gave him tightly in one fist. It's fascinating, the way my blood drips off of it. I could watch it forever...or at least for the next five minutes, because that's about all the time I have left. "Mo...ku...ba..."
He frowns down at me. "I told you you were mine, Seto. Why didn't you listen to me?"
"Mo...ku...ba..." Stupid and repetitive, I know, but his name is all I can say right now--everything else just takes too much energy.
"You just had to send those flowers to that fleabag, Jonouchi, didn't you, 'nii-san? I told you you were mine--and I don't share what's mine, especially not with mouthy jerkoff nobodies like that."
A flash of headlights from the drive, and my nineteen year old little brother frowns again. "What now?" He huffs, and heads upstairs to clean up.
There's a soft knock on the door, which makes it swing open a bit wider, hitting me in the head. It probably hurts, but I'm not really in a state of mind to care right now, really. I turn my head a bit--Christ, that's hard--and look into the wide, beautiful eyes of Jounouchi. He's so beautiful.
"Seto!" He immediately kneels on the floor beside me and pulls my head into his lap. "What happened? Who did this to you?"
"Mo...ku...ba..."
"You want me to go check on him?"
I want to close my eyes in frustration, but I know if I do, I'll never open them again. "No...Mo...ku...ba...did..."
"Your little brother stabbed you?" Not quite as incredulous as it might have been nine years ago, had I told him my little brother was raping me. Been letting the mask slip, otouto?
"H-hai..."
He scowls. "I'll make sure he pays for it, Seto--I promise."
"And just how will you manage that, fleabag?" My brother's voice, from the stairs. Crap. Run, Jou. Now, please.
He would stand, but he won't move my head from his lap, so he just glares at Mokuba from where he kneels. "You're a monster. How could you stab your own brother?"
One slim shoulder rises and falls in indifference. "It was fairly simple, really. Not a complicated motion, stabbing. Would it shock you to know I've been fucking him for the past nine years, too?"
"You're sick."
"And you're repetitive, puppy. I tire of you. You stole my Seto away from me. I can never forgive you for that." He raises the knife and in one smooth motion throws it at Jou's chest.
With me in his lap, Jou never had a chance. The blade buried itself to the hilt in the blond's heart. He didn't even have the opportunity to swear.
I hate the dark. That won't keep it from me, as I've been slowly bleeding all of my life to stain the foyer of the manor house for the past ten or fifteen minutes or so. I just...I really hate the dark.
Footsteps. "Idiot fleabag." Mokuba's voice, from far away, and Jou is pulled away from me. My head hits the floor, but I'm too numb to feel it. "You're an idiot, too, Seto."
I know. How many times have I stated that thus far? Here's one more; I'm an idiot.
One should be able to trust one's family, don't you think?