Why Am I Jealous?


Rating: PG
Warning: Although this story technically features a straight pairing (Harry/Hermione), it has some definite slashy undertones (Draco/Harry). However, I don't technically consider this a slash fanfic because the undertones are subtle and are open to the readers' interpretation.
Summary: As Harry and Draco get into yet another fight, poor, confused Hermione can only look on and make startling revelations...

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They're fighting again. Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy are standing literally feet away from me, engaging in a verbal war. It's nothing new; they do this every day. I can only hope that today their fight doesn't turn physical, or worse, magical. You would think that the two of them would be done with fighting by the middle of our sixth year. But there's something about Draco, something that stirs up all the hate and anger in Harry and pushes him to fight.

It had been just an ordinary day. Harry and I were holding hands as we walked to dinner, generally acting like a typical couple But then he came and provoked Harry into another unwanted fight. I tried to be the reasonable girlfriend and pull Harry out of danger. But when Draco is around, nobody else seems to exist in his fit of angry passion. Not even me.

Nobody was surprised when Harry and I got together at the beginning of sixth year. After all, every student at Hogwarts had expected it to happen at some point. Harry Potter, Hermione Granger...it just seemed so right. It always had to me. I had dreamed of dating The Boy Who Lived ever since puberty had hit.

But our relationship had never gone as well as I had hoped. I had imagined Harry as a hopeless romantic in disguise, a man who would whisper sweet nothings to his true love. In reality, our relationship lacked passion from the start. Harry had not been the lover I'd hoped for, and I was logical, rational Hermione. Who was I to act passionate?

Somehow, it was like we were best friends, and "boyfriend" and "girlfriend" were only labels we attached to ourselves. Sure, we kissed, dated, and did everything we were supposed to do, but it was always done in a friendly way, not how I imagine two people madly in love would act.

There is passion in the great Harry Potter. I see it coming out right now, as he trades insults with Draco Malfoy. If he eloquently chose words to describe our love like he did to convey his hate for Draco, I would feel the spark in a blinding way. But he doesn't, and it worries me.

It makes me jealous how he glares at Draco with such hate in his green eyes. The look is one that could turn Voldemart to stone and frightens Draco to no end. Oddly, Harry's glare has passion in it. A passion to hate; a passion to kill. Oh, if only he would look at me so passionately...

Suddenly, their fight takes a rather dramatic turn. Harry bares his fists, and I gasp in shock. The passion suddenly tuns physical; it's a spark that flows freely between them. A spark Harry and I have never had when we make love. In a fit motivated by jealousy and a need to protect my boyfriend, I run bravely between the two rivals.

"Stop! Both of you! This has gone too far!" I yell, as I grab Harry's arms and quickly pull him away from Draco. In his shock, Harry doesn't resist, and when he focuses, I finally have his attention.

"You two little boys need to find other ways to channel your anger," I scold, as he looks at me with a guilt ridden face.

"S-sorry, Hermione," he whispers, giving me a peck on the cheek. "I'll try to keep our fights down to a minimum."

I give Harry the most genuine smile I can muster. "I know this is hard for you," I say reassuringly. "Just keep working on it. Let's forget about it for now and go eat." He smiles back at me and grabs my hand, and we pick off where we left off before the fight began. As we walk away, I notice Harry giving Draco an evil glare, one that sends shivers down my spine.

I am Hermione. I am the bright one, the perceptive one, the rational one. My brain reasures me that the emotion I saw in Harry's eyes is nothing to worry about. But my heart tells me otherwise. This time, I know that my heart is right. And what it tells me makes me afraid.

Harry hates Draco far more than he has ever loved me. Their hate runs deep, with rich history, while our love has only recently begun. I love Harry with all my heart, but for the first time, I realize that someday I may lose the man I so desire.

For I know just how universal feelings are. And how easily fierce hate can blossom into passionate love.

***

Author's note: Is Hermione just acting like a paranoid, protective girlfriend, or is she on to something? For now, that's up to you to decide. Do you think I should continue this? If I do, should Harry stay with Hermione or leave her for Draco? Please leave any feedback you have in the comments' section.