I stared at Remus. It was a sunny, calm day. A quiet breeze caused Remus' hair to float from behind his ears and into his face. Long fingers pushed it back into place. A single streak of silver ran through his golden brown hair. Silver and gold. The sun and the moon. Night and day. All at once.
Not like James, who was all sun. James, who was ever energetic, who you could read like the book. If James was bored, you knew it. If he was happy, or upset, or excited you knew it. James was like a hot summer day when everybody was outside, doing something fun and making noise. Or right before Christmas, when everybody was partying and drinking eggnog, and talking about the next day.
No, Remus was the day in winter, when you stare out the window from the house, where it's cozy and comfortable, to see snow falling softly on the ground. He was the cool summer nights, when you lay in the dark grass, where it smelled sweet and all you could hear was crickets. He was the warm spring day that you sat under a tree reading, or the middle of a summer day, when all is quiet, and because everybody is happy and napping under trees. Quiet serenity.
I wondered what I was. I couldn't be the cool Remus breeze, that everybody was relieved to feel when it seemed too hot to be bearable. I couldn't be the excitement that James was. I was sleeping too often. Yet, I don't think I minded. As long as they were there to balance things out, the excitable with the calm, I didn't feel the need to be an anthromorphic personification.
"Sirius?" Remus was looking up at me, with his cool green gaze. His book still lay in his lap, his hand resting on the page. "What's up."
"Nothing," I said, shrugging. "Just thinking."
"About what?"
I pause for a moment. How to explain without sounding like an idiot?
"I was thinking about you and James. How he's like the a hot summer day, when everybody makes noise………excitable. And you……you're like the time of day, when everybody is just sleeping, and somebody is just enjoying the peace and quiet. And," I paused again. "Just how I couldn't think of what I might be. And that I really don't mind."
He gave a look of thoughtfulness. Then:
"I think you might be like the night. When nobody is sure what's going to happen, or what's out there. But there is a certain security there, a trust. Like…….there are only things you can say to the dark. You can let your emotions out when you think nobody is there to see you. And that's comforting."
Just hearing that makes me smile. I want to hug Remus. Although he didn't say it directly, I knew that he was telling me that he trusted me. He felt that security in me. Even though I was unpredictable. And even though I had been known to do stupid, or cruel things sometimes, he still trusted and loved me. And it made me happy, more than anything
And finally, not able to help it anymore, I put my arms around Remus. My calm serenity. And I didn't have to say a thing. I loved him.
&&&&&
Notes: Hey there. I haven't written in a while, I know. But I promise, Avoiding Love isn't dead. I've just been a little busy (and blocked . ).
I was listening to Feelings that Transend Time, from the first InuYasha movie. And I wanted to either cry, or read a sappy Remus/Sirius fic. So I wrote one. Nothing too big. But still sweet.
