Disclaimer - I own nothing - I shirk all responsibility and all earthly possessions preferring instead to borrow others and then giving them back later.

This is neither really a prequel or sequel to another story of mine - Rituals and Chocolate Cream pie ( a crossover with Dark Angel), it is kind of an interlude as I have a hulking 19 year gap of nothingness at the end of Chapter 1 of that story. This is an attempt to fill in the blanks.

If you haven't read it, and you can if you like it is around this site somewhere, but if you don't want to the gist is Sam has a vision, but the woman in the vision is killed by the YED. However, this does give the brothers, one laptop with a whole load of information on it and a small three year old girl, Molly, who they take to Ellen.

Using something he found on the computer, Dean has a bright idea which causes not only him, Sam and Jo to disappear (turning up a few years later - hence the crossover part) but Ellen to discover a large Winchester shaped lump in the middle of the summoning circle that Dean was using that goes by the name of John.

This story takes place a few months after that, after John and Molly had gotten out of hospital and with John returning to the hunt.

And if you are interested after reading all of that, this is beta'd - so thanks to Twinkiecat and Rospberry.

"Mommy, why is Uncle Ash banging on the front door?" Molly asked as she opened the door to Ellen's bedroom; Ash had disturbed the child's sleep.

"I don't know, sweetheart, but let's get you back to bed," Ellen said.

The four year old nodded. "Yes, Mommy."

Ellen led the little girl back to her room and closed the door on the child, picked up the salt canister that sat on the shelf on the wall beside the door, and proceeded to draw a salt line across the floor in front of the child's room.

Then she picked up her shotgun and went to the front door."Whoa, Ellen." Ash put up his hands at the sight of the gun. "I come in peace."

"This better be good, Ash, you woke her up; I should put some buckshot in you just for that," Ellen said. Ever since Molly had come to live with her the child had had a rough time sleeping, though the nightmares had lessened lately.

"He's screaming in his sleep, Ellen, I don't know what to do," Ash said, knowing that the woman didn't need to be told who it was he was talking about. "Plum frightened Munro and Jacobs out of there; they just left their rooms and took off. Ellen, the things he was saying. Christ, they couldn't be real?"

"Shit," she said. "Look, you stay with her, I'll be back as soon as I can."

The bar was, dark and deserted, though there was a small pile of money sitting on the bar - at least the bastards had paid before they had left. She could hear the screaming from the back.

"Christ, John," she muttered, heading toward the back room.

She fumbled with her keys, finding the one she needed before opening the door, careful not to break the salt line that John had laid.

He was writhing on the bed begging someone to stop, stop the pain, that he'd do whatever they wanted, just stop the pain.

She sat the bottom of the bed, trying gently to raise him by shaking his leg. It caused him to bolt upright, his eyes wide in terror, sweat soaking through his clothes.

"John, do you know where you are?" Ellen asked, making sure she was out of his reach just in case he didn't.

He focused on her. "Ellen?"

"John, do you know where you are?" she repeated.

He took a second, looking around the room. "Your place."

She nodded. "You were having a dream, John, you should try and get some sleep."

"Right," he replied as she took his hand to comfort him.

She placed her other hand on his cheek. "Jesus, John, you're like ice."

"I'm fine." He brushed her hand off, even though he had begun to shiver in a room that was over 80 degrees.

Ellen looked around the room; she only provided the basics for the hunters that had lodged there - she'd lost too many sets of sheets to men who had torn them up to bandage wounds that their egos wouldn't let them go to a doctor for.

"Move up," she said, kicking off her shoes, "and take off your tee shirt."

"What?" he asked, watching her unbutton her jeans, if he hadn't felt like death warmed over already, he would have started to feel uncomfortable.

"Move over and lie down."

John didn't know what to say. "Ellen, I…?"

"Do as you're told," Ellen said. "You're freezing and I'm not having you get sick on me."

John shifted slightly letting Ellen into the bed, holding onto her as the heat from her body ebbed into his. He lay there unsure what to do, eventually slipping into a peaceful night's sleep – not one laced with bitter memories that haunted his every hour.

She was gone when he woke up; he was refreshed, awake, almost alive for the first time since he came back. He gathered his things and packed up the Impala, hoping that he'd soon have a lead of something, the Demon, his boys, of Jo, of something, of anything.

"Uncle John, Uncle John!" Molly screamed when she saw the Impala parked in the lot outside the Roadhouse as she hadn't seen the car in months; the little girl tore into the bar to find John sitting on a barstool sipping a beer.

He smiled as he saw her, picking her up. "Hey, little lady, what have you been doing?"

"Uncle Ash and me went to the zoo with his new friend," Molly said.

"Really, did you? Your mom didn't tell me." He glanced over at Ellen, who was standing behind the bar.

"Mom had to go see the beer man, but I got an ice cream, and Uncle Ash got all shy because his friend wanted to hold his hand."

John smiled. "Really?"

Ellen smiled as John put down the little girl. "The wonders of internet dating."

"Ash got himself a girl?" John said.

"Not sure yet," Ellen replied.

John smirked. "Not sure he's got her, or not sure she's really a girl?"

"That's enough from you," Ellen said to John as the little girl ran out the back.

It was late, and Ellen had shut up the bar and was about to head home, when she heard the apologetic cough from behind her. She turned carefully as she carried the sleeping girl in her arms, as she tended to let Molly sleep in the office while Ellen worked the bar. "John, you need anything?" Ellen asked.

John took the sleeping child from her silently, and he and Ellen walked the short distance to her home, saying nothing until they got to the threshold

"Look I need…" John started, and Ellen watched him. "I need…"

"You lost for words or something?"

"I need a night's sleep, Ellen. I'm done, I'm wiped, and I'm starting to get sloppy. "

"So, what do you expect me to do?" Ellen asked, confused, as they entered the house.

John blushed slightly. "That night, the last time I was here, I had the first good night's sleep since I got back.

"So?"

"I was wondering, I was hoping… nothing funny or anything, but could I…?"

"Bunk in with me tonight?" she asked.

He looked so sincere and contrite, wringing his hands after he put Molly down in the child's room

"I'll understand if you want me to go," John said. "I'll go."

John Winchester was standing there, begging her just to be there for him

Maybe it was weakness on her part, just wanting someone to be there who could understand what she went through every time she passed the door to Jo's bedroom, the pain he must go through every time he sat in that car. She nodded.

He was gone when she woke, gone before Molly got up; the only evidence that someone had shared her bed was the slightly crumpled sheets that still felt slightly warm to the touch

After that night, he shared her bed, whenever he showed up at the Roadhouse; he was always gone before Molly woke, and they did nothing more than share a bed – finding comfort in having someone warm sleeping beside them. Like the act of the other breathing next to them eased something that had been broken inside their souls.