SUPER SMASH BROS.
WHEN UNIVERSES UNITE.
Yeah, so here's my two cents towards smash bros fan fiction. This first chapter is rather… cheesy, I think. But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't let that put you off. It WILL get better in the next chapter. This I assure you.
Anyway, on with the show!
In a dimension, far, far away…
There's a rock.
What is on this rock? A mansion and a garden. That's it.
Apart from the mansion's contents and a fake holographic sky, that's all that exists in this dimension. So nothing interesting then.
Apart from the fact the mansion can generate inter-dimensional portals…
A resident of the mansion sighed. He was waiting… for THEM.
He wished he could start now. But he knew he couldn't because they would have to wait till THEM to make the first move before they, or anyone else, could destroy THEM, and ensure inter-dimensional safety.
"You should really take a break..."
Silence. The person turned round.
"I mean, it's probably not even gonna happen in your lifetime…"
"If you say so dad."
"We've been waiting for 20 generations..."
"Well, that's long enough. It has to happen some time dad..."
"Whatever Brawl…"
Brawl smiled. One day, THEM would appear, and he would fulfil his purpose for existence. What he was made for. What everyone in the mansion was made for. And he would go on an adventure like no other. An adventure that over all dimensions. Boy, he would just love to take the inter-dimensional portal generator thingy out for a spin, but that would be irresponsible at the best of times. At the worst of times, someone could sneak into the mansion and generally mess the entire space-time continuum. Or steal his stuff.
Brawl looked like an average teen. He had dark curly hair, a sky blue shirt, purple trousers and a white hat. Both the hat and shirt had a strange symbol on them, a circle with two lines crossing in the bottom left corner.
He looked up at the screen. The mansion also had a screen that could show what was going on anywhere in any dimension. You could even watch people in the shower if you wished, but it was embarrassing if you caught. Even worse if the person started singing.
"Hey bro! Anything interesting happening?"
Brawl looked round. "Nope. Sorry Melee. But that blue guy is having an affair…"
Melee looked identical to his brother, save for lack of hat, an orange shirt and green jeans.
"Uh huh."
"And" he pointed a guy in a suit "he just came out the closet."
"THE PRESIDENT? REALLY?"
"Yep."
Melee laughed. Brawl grinned.
"Trust a republican to do that and refuse to promote homosexuals."
This time Brawl laughed. Melee however stared at the screen at a back empty alleyway somewhere. "Um… bro…" he mumbled.
"Yeah?"
"What the heck is that?" he pointed at the alleyway. Brawl looked. And saw a hole. Floating in midair.
Almost certainly a portal of some type. Brawl and melee glanced at each other. They had worried but intrigued looks on their faces. And then they saw one of THEM.
A purple, puppet like creature came out of the portal. It looked around, muttered, "it works. About damm time.", and went back in. the portal disappeared. And the two brothers froze.
Silence.
"You… you know what this means, don't you?" stuttered Melee, the younger brother, with a look of amazement on his face.
"Yes." Said Brawl, the older bro, with a look of OH MY GOD on his face. "It's begun."
…
"AWESOME! I'll get the party chips! WOOT!"
"HELL YEAH! Let's get started!" Brawl pressed the intercom button. "Ladies and gentlemen, get the guest rooms ready. The prophecy HAS BEGUN!"
Five seconds later there was an incredibly loud cheer as people got ready to help save everything… from THEM.
Brawl got up and dashed to the portal thingy. He picked up a checklist and looked at it eagerly, almost drooling. Adrenaline pumped through his brain and muscles, ready to go.
"They're really done it? SERIOUSLY?" cried Brawl's farther, who was called Smash, a man with Chuck Norris facial hair and almost military clothes. He was excited and worried and amazed and incredibly annoyed that he wasn't in charge when it happened all at the same time.
Brawl looked round with a huge grin. "I told you so…"
"I'm so proud…" continued his farther after a pause. But Brawl wasn't listening as he was hurriedly tapping numbers in the computer. He slammed ENTER and a portal appeared.
Brawl turned round and waved. "Wish me luck!"
"Go get them! Kick some butt!" cried someone in the next room.
"HELL YEAH!" cried someone else.
"And with that, I'm off." cried Brawl. "Adios, bemos!"
And he dashed through the portal… to another world.
CHAPTER 1 – THE JUMPMAN
"Mamma mia…"
A man in a red shirt and blue overalls was lying on the sofa. He was called, of course, Mario.
He was pondering how his last adventure had ended. He had taken the grand star that powered Bowser's galaxy and rescued princess Peach. Unfortunately the galaxy then collapsed, became a black hole, and consumed the whole universe. Luckily this resulted in the second big bang, and since all living beings are made of stardust, he, princess Peach and everyone in the universe were all reborn. Or something like that.
What worried him was that not only that he nearly destroyed the entire universe by accident, (not that anyone blamed him of course- he had no idea it would happen.) he didn't get a kiss from Peach.
Yes, he worried more over whether Peach liked him or not than the destruction of the entire universe. He kicked himself constantly for not getting his priorities right, but the truth was he was hopelessly in love with princess Peach. When he saw her sucked into the hole, for 30 seconds his biggest fear was realised- he was going to die without admitting his feelings for her. Yet when princess Peach saw he was alive, she just gave him a hug. Was she scared of kissing him in front of bowser? Was she trying not to provoke him into a second kidnapping? Or did she merely see him as "the guy who saves me all the time"?
Either way, he was losing his faith in his abilities. Was he losing his touch?
"Oh come on Mario, pull yourself togeth-a." said Mario to himself. "Ya just need-a recov-a from your last advent-cha. You're still a good-a jump-a as ev-a." he broke into a display of incredible jumping to prove it to himself. "You just need to take-a ya mind off-a things."
He thought about what he could do. Watch telly. Go into town. Or visit Peach.
He could visit peach, but all that would happen was that the princess would invite him to lunch, he would fail pathetically to admit his feelings for her, and he would go home kicking himself. For the 21st time.
Nothing good was on, so Mario went out. "You'll find the perfect time to tell her one day, Mario." He mumbled as he went out the door.
MEANWHILE…
"So it's working?" said what appeared to be a green and red tepee with eyes.
"Yes. But we can't get persific co-coordinates." said the purple puppet thing.
"Very well. Keep working. The hands will be pleased with this…"
BACK AT THE MUSHROOM KINGDOM…
Brawl emerged on the other side of the portal. He pointed what appeared to be a cross between a wii remote and a car key, and pressed a button. There was a beep, and then the portal disappeared.
"So, the adventure begins." Said the bright lad with a snug look. He looked round… question blocks, hills that went straight up, clouds with actual faces… yep, this was the mushroom kingdom. He spotted Mario's house and approached it. He checked the list and sure enough, Mario was the first name on the list. One down, loads to go...
He knocked on the door. No answer. "Hello? Anyone home? No? Bother." He hoped to god that Mario wasn't out saving the princess, as he would have to wait for ages if that were true. So were was Mario? Was he at the castle? No, he didn't visit the castle that often. He was probably in town, fixing a pipe or something. He was still a plumber, after all…
Now this-a more like it, thought Mario sipping his cappuccino. It was a lovely day, and he was listening to a street band play a jazzy tune. It was a perfect reminder of what he had saved. No wonder he stomped Goombas to save this place.
The song ended, everyone clapped, and somewhere someone said "excuse me, have you seen Mario around here?"
The plumber turned round and saw someone wearing what appeared to be a school uniform and an odd hat. "I'm right-a here-a." Said the plumber cheerfully to Brawl. He was pleased to see another human in the Mushroom kingdom, as most lived in Diamond city in another kingdom.
"Ah! Here you are! I was worried you had popped out to rescue Peach again!" Brawl chuckled. "Yeah, I always have to sort out loads of mail when I get back-a from Bowser bashing." Mario replied merrily, shaking hands with the stranger. "Your name?"
"Oh yes! It's Brawl. Congrats on your latest adventure, by the way." Said Brawl.
"Thanks."
"Now, I'll get straight to the point," muttered Brawl, "we need your help otherwise everything in existence is going to be turned into a trophy."
…
"Err... how? What's gonna happen?" said Mario, after a nervous pause.
"Well… perhaps we should go to my place."
Mario and Brawl walked towards where to the portal was. Mario, of course, had no idea that they were heading for a portal, or that Brawl came from a different dimension. He just thought they were heading to Brawl's house.
Brawl stopped outside Mario's house. "Oh yes, that reminds me. You'll need to pack."
"Why? Were we-a going?" said Mario, who was surprised by this request.
Brawl gave him an enigmatic smile. "You'll find out…"
Mario opened the drawers and started getting out spare overalls. "Is Mario going somewhere?" said a robotic voice. It was FLUDD.
"Yep."
"Oh. Would… Mario be in need of assistance?"
Mario thought about it. If something was threatening all of existence, he needed all the help he could get…
"Sure FLUDD. You can come too." He said, putting him in the suitcase.
"No problemao!" replied FLUDD, mimicking Mario's accent.
Mario chuckled, closed the suitcase, and was about to go down the stairs when he had an idea. He reached under the dresser and grabbed a yellow cape. He remembered when he first grabbed a cape feather and received that cape. Wearing it allowed him to fly, and pull off a powerful spin attack. Now days, it had lost it flying powers, but he could still pull off the spin attack. He stuffed it in his pocket, and went out the door.
Brawl leaned next to the door, waiting for him when he came out. "You ready?" "Yeah. LET,SA GO!" replied Mario. Brawl pulled something out of his pocket.
"Okay, but first I need to do this…" in one quick he put a microchip on his head and hit it with a hammer, embedding it in side his head.
Mario cried in pain, but his voice was soon replaced with static. "Don't panic, it's just calibrating…" said Brawl. "Your voice will be back to normal in a minute." Which it did.
"Wha- what the heck was that?!" cried Mario. He was completely confused now.
"An ultra effective translator chip. It allows you to understand anyone and anyone to understand you. Believe me, you'll need it." Said Brawl matter-of-factly.
"BUT WERE ARE WE GOING??"
Brawl finally revealed the portal. "Well… to a lot of alternate dimensions. Are you happy with that answer?"
Mario blinked.
"Yeah."
Brawl stepped out the other side of the portal with Mario "welcome to the smash manor…"
"So the wandering hero returns!" it was Smash. "And with Mario too! Great! Any trouble?"
"Nah…"
There was a cheer from the other side of the room. Brawl's friends were celebrating his return.
"Brawl's back!"
"Go Brawl! Go Brawl!"
"You're number onnnne!"
A girl ran up to Brawl and kissed him. She had red and white hair and a yellow dress.
"Aw… Parasol…" said Brawl. "I was only away for 15 minutes!"
"I'm just happy for your success…" soothed Parasol.
"Well, thanks, baby." He returned the kiss, to a chorus of "ooh"s and "ah"s.
"All right! All right! We've got to settle down now! Mario's confused and we have to tell him the legend! Or was it the prophecy?" cried Smash.
"Yeah! Give-a me-a the answers!" said Mario.
"Well, here's the story so far…"
THERE WAS ONCE AN INCREDIBLY POWERFULL BEING…
HIS NAME WAS MR MIYAMOTO.
HE USED HIS INCREDIBLE POWER TO CREATE ALL THAT EXCISTS…
FORGET GOD. FORGET THE ANCIENTS. MR MIYAMOTO WAS GOD.
BUT… GODS ARE MOST DEFINENTLY NOT IMMORTAL.
ONE DAY HE TOOK OFF HIS GLOVES AND WENT TO MAKE A CUP OF TEA.
I'M SERIOUS.
I'M NOT JOKING.
STOP LAUGHING.
HIS GLOVES, HOWEVER, BEING SUBJECTED TO THE INCREDIBLE POWER OF MIYAMOTO, CAME TO LIVE.
THE RIGHT ONE WAS CLEAN AND SANE. HE IS CALLED MASTER HAND.
THE LEFT ONE WAS MOULDY AND BONKERS. HE IS CALLED CRAZY HAND.
THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS STUPID THAT MORTALS HAD FREE WILL.
SO THEY STARTED TURNING EVERYTHING INTO TROPHIES SO THEY COULD TOY WITH THEM AND COMMAND THEM.
MR MIYAMOTO CONFRONTED THEM AND THERE WAS MUCH BATTLING.
EVENTUALLY THE HANDS WERE SEALED IN A DIMIONSION CALLED THE FINAL DESTNATION.
BUT MR MIYAMOTO AND THE HANDS HAD LOST THEIR IMMORTALY AND OTHER POWERS... LEADING TO ONE SMALL PROBLEM.
GLOVES DON'T DIE OF OLD AGE.
HUMANS DO.
SEEING THE END WAS NIGH FOR HIM, MR MIYAMOTO CREATED A DIMENSION FOR ACESSING OTHER DIMENSIONS, POPULATED IT WITH A RACE CALLED THE SUPER SMASH BROS… AND TOLD THEM OF THE FUTURE.
THE HANDS CANNOT BREAK OUT OF FINAL DESTINATION. BUT INSTEAD HE WILL CREATE AN ARMY TO DRAG ALL EXCISTENCE INTO HIS DIMENSION. THE ARMY CAN BREAK OUT. NOT THE HANDS.
IF NO-ONE ENTERS FINAL DESTNATION AND DESTROYS THE HANDS, THE INFINITE MONSTERS THE HANDS CONJOUR UP WILL SUCEED. BUT MOST PEOPLE WILL BE INSTANTLY BE TURNED INTO A TROPHY IF THE HANDS SEE HIM/HER/IT.
BUT THERE IS A HANDFULL OF PEOPLE WHO CAN RESIST THE TROPHY MAGIC. THEY ARE CALLED SMASHERS. THEY ARE ALL BRILLANT FIGHTERS, AND WHEN ALL OF THEM COME TOGETHER AND ASSEMBLE THE KEY, THEY WILL BEAT THE HANDS AND ENSURE INTER DIMIONSAL SAFTEY.
HE GAVE THE SUPER SMASH BROS A LIST OF THE SMASHERS NAMES AND ADDRESSES, HOW TO ASSEMBLE THE KEY, TAUGHT THEM THE MANY WORLDS THEY WOULD VISIT, GAVE THEM ALL HIS KNOWLEDGE…
AND EVENTUALLY DIED.
WHEN THE ARMY MAKE THE FIRST MOVE, ONLY THEM WILL THE KEY BE ABLE TO BREAK INTO THE HOME OF THE HANDS. ON THAT DAY THE SMASHERS MUST BE GATHERED…
AND THEY MUST SUCEED.
FOR IN THE IMMORTAL WORDS OF THE INFINITELY WONDROUS MR MIYAMOTO HIMSELF, "FOR GOD'S SAKE, DON'T FUCK THIS ONE UP…"
"So… you guys are…"
"THE SUPER SSSSMMMMAAASSSHHH BROTHEEERRRSSS!" cried most of the smash bros. Except Brawl, who just said "do we have to do that every time we say those words?"
"And I'm… a smasher? Well, I am good at fighting…" Mario smiled.
"Yep! But there is a lot more, and they live in dimensions even you haven't heard of or imaged!" chuckled Brawl.
So that's what the packing and the microchip was for… this is goanna be a biggie! Thought Mario.
"Anyway, I'm just gathering the smashers up, and I'd like your assistance in case said army turns up to try and stop us. Or if they try to use their subspace bombs behind our backs."
"Huh?"
"Subspace bombs are what they use to cut chunks of space and warp them to final des in one fell swoop. I'm Melee, by the way." Said Melee, of course. He shook hands with Mario.
"Nice to meet-a you-a."
Brawl was fiddling with the buttons on the computer again, looking at the list as if it was a treasure map. "Well, no use hanging around. Hey, Mario! How'd you like to visit Hyrule?"
Mario beamed. "Wherever that it is, I'm coming."
The portal came up. "When what are we waiting for?" said Brawl with glee.
They ran to the portal. "Lets-a go!" Mario cried as they went through the portal.
Yeah, sorry about Mario's accent and spelling mistakes if I made any…
So, if my some miracle you like it, please review so I can relax in the comfort of knowing I did something good. FLAMERS WILL HAVE BRICKS THROWN AT THEM. Hence the name. You heard me. Good night!