It had happened again.
The dream.
This time it had taken far longer to wake up from, nearly 2 hours.
But it was always the same ending, the same feeling, but somehow Kurt could never prevent nor change the events that happened in this particular recurring nightmare…
Always, it starts on a cliff. Somewhere he knows doesn't exist but unfortunately, he knows it all too well by now. His mind tells him there's a chill in the air, and as he approaches the edge of the rock, the scattered monotone clouds that hover above, suddenly darken, thicken, and start to descend.
He wants to run back. Kurt tries to move his legs but they won't listen. He's no longer in control and his blood begins to coarse round his body and although each time he attempts to scream for somebody, anybody to help, all that comes out are tears that stream from his panicked, bloodshot eyes and a faint whisper of desperation that is silenced and muffled by the wind.
Kurt has tried to explain what happens next to his father so many times but it's difficult to describe, it's not a feeling, it's a knowing, knowing that an inevitable unpleasant end is coming, it's a sickness that engulfs him and somehow he can taste tension.
It's like that part in a horror movie, where the single note of the violin slowly slides its way up the scale, and you can feel the fear climb your spine with it, you can feel eyes watching you sit alone in the darkness as you are suddenly very aware that your breathing as become heaver and as your chest twists and your stomach tenses you find your heart pushed into your throat till you can hear your heart beat pulse in your ears and then…nothing.
Nothing at all.
Silence.
The wind is gone, the clouds had vanished and even the sky has disappeared in an instant.
You would expect a great deal of relief from Kurt and maybe he would have been smiling. But the dream is never that kind. It will trick you. Every time, even if you think you know it's coming. It feeds you a crumb of hope and tempts you to feel safe by smiling at you and promising a happy ending. And Kurt believes it, forgives it and lets down his guard by reaching out his hand to a shadowed figure that offers to help him up.
But now it's too late. The shadow has talons which are thrust through Kurts ribs and puncture his lungs and blood hot and thick is trickling down his abdomen. Kurts eyes burst open in shock and now he can see it.
It's looking at him too, it sees into Kurts mind and it knows him, his every fear and phobia, every horrific supressed memory, every little detail of Kurts thoughts and the raging fire of his self-hatred staring back at him with sunken holes for eyes that pierced Kurts soul and burned the joy from his heart, and hundreds of razor sharp teeth as large as calving knifes held millimetres from Kurts throat and that channelled its heavy breath down the back of his neck and began rotting his goose bumped porcelain skin.
And this is how it ends.
It drags Kurt down though the ground, into the rocks snapping his bones and crushing his organs till they push their way out of kurts mouth just as his skull collapses under the pressure of the earth.
"Kurt….."
There's another hand.
"KURT!"
A hand, shakes Kurt's shoulder urgently and Kurt takes a few seconds to open his eyes but finds it easier when he hears a familiar voice and sees a comforting face of his boyfriend with a relieved smile that lets him know he's safe.
"God don't do that to me again Kurt, I thought you had…"
"shhh" Kurt interrupted "It's okay Blaine, it's a stupid dream, it just keeps coming back." Kurt sighs and sinks his head dripping with a cold sweat, "I wish you were in it. You'd save me"
Blaine gives a small chuckle and hooks his arm over Kurts shoulder allowing him to rest his head on Blaines chest and hold him close. "Hey, don't you worry I'll always be there when you need me."
Kurt released a quiet hum, just happy to be in Blaine's arms. He holds him closer as he listens to his calming words.
"You are not alone, Kurt. You're never alone."
Blaine runs his thumb over Kurts brow, stroking it gently so that its almost hypnotic.
"When the dark is all there is, whenever you are scared, whenever you are lost and at your most vulnerable, I'll find you."
"Oh Blaine, you're so protective" Kurt smiles to himself.
"I will, find you, Kurt"
Kurt had quite suddenly, become strangely uncomfortable in Blaines embrace. No. Not embrace, his hold, his clutch, Blaine was clutching Kurt tightly and tighter still, his body was ridged and his hands clamped violently against Kurts ribcage.
Kurts breath was punched out of his torso as he heard a crack from inside him.
Then Kurt began to scream, deafeningly and desperately clawing at the bed to hold on, ripping the flesh off his own body to release the daggers sprouting from Blaines fingertips and pushing themselves into Kurt and trying to look away from Blaines face as it twisted and deformed itself into it, The Nightmare, Blaine gentle honey coloured eyes rolling back to form the empty holes, his sweet soft lips cracking, bleeding and bursting open to make room for the devils jaws.
And something new. Something worst that he could have ever thought to imagine. A laugh. One that caused the room to break and fragment around them , cutting through the air like a blade and ringing in Kurts ears till blood began to trickle from them and run down his neck and as it dragged the boy into the floor, Kurt swore to himself he would never come back here, never sleep, never shut his eyes again once he could find a way to wake up….
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake.
Up.