Edward's View-The Decision.
Only my mind was functioning as it should be. My body seemed to be frozen, I hadn't moved for at least a week, and I hadn't been hunting for approximately a month, I was a monster and highly dangerous. My brain kept contemplating whether to go back to her, my love, the only one that had ever meant anything to me at least.
I would only return for three days. She would be unaware of my presence. I would watch her.
"Ugh" I said disgusted with myself, I couldn't even think her name, "Bella" I whispered in a pathetic voice. It bought on a spasm of emotion that I didn't even know my kind could feel, I felt guilt and betrayal but not of my own betrayal but the betrayal that I must have caused her. I'd promised I would stay and I left. That reminded me of another promise I had made as I left her in the dark forests surrounding Forks. I'd promised her that she'd never have to see me again 'it will be as though I never existed'. I couldn't return or I would break another promise, but if she didn't know I was there then no harm would be done, all I was going to do was watch her, see whether she was happy or not, I would stay longer if she was unhappy, a week maybe, still not revealing my presence, maybe I would stay a few nights sitting in the rocking chair in her room and listen. It always humoured me the things she used to say in her sleep. More often than not it would be my name 'Edward' she would repeat again and again in her delicate smooth voice, I wondered if she still said my name, in a way I wished she didn't. Her human memory would let her heal better than my vampire one, at least I thought it would, she had a very private mind, and even I couldn't access it and read her thoughts as though she was talking to me out loud.
If she was happy, I would leave again, I would get on with my life as I hoped she had. If she was still upset after these five months then I would stay longer and watch until I decide what to do next.
I need to go hunting first; I thought as I caught a glimpse of my eyes, in a shard of mirror I had shattered in my rage, my eyes were as black as coal and empty. I should visit Carlisle and Esme and Alice as well, but Alice would already know by now. I was sure she had as much of her extra sense, that wasn't watching Jasper, clued to me she would tell Carlisle and Esme soon.