A/N My entry for the Twin Exchange's October Title Swap Challenge. My title was submitted by Evanesco777. Thank you to onebigscribble for the title suggestion for the unauthorized biography :)
We Like to Ignore the Treat in Trick or Treat
The following is an excerpt from the book "You-No-Poo: The Tale of Two Tricksters" - an unauthorized biography of Fred and George Weasley By Seraphina Murphy
Many would assume that Fred and George Weasley's favourite day of the year was April Fools Day, being both their birthdays and a holiday that exists purely for the purpose of pulling jokes on others. But, no. The twins' favourite holiday was Halloween. It began many years ago, when the twins were only six years old. Some silly relative had answered the twins' question of, 'What's the difference between halloween and April Fools?' with 'Costumes and candies.'
The six year old twins took this to mean they should dress up in costumes and play tricks on people involving candy. That relative did not receive a Christmas card that year. But the tradition was born. The twins would skip right over the treat and go straight to the trick. Their mother tried everything to sway the twins into simple door to door 'Trick or Treating,' but nothing could change their minds. (Some credit this love of 'Candy Tricks' to the development of their skiving snackboxes, though when questioned the twins would neither confirm or deny this.)
By the time the twins were in their mid-20's, when this story takes place, their business was firmly established and they had just launched a successful second shop in the wizarding village of Hogsmead. George had recently become engaged to longtime girlfriend Luna Lovegood and Fred had been in a relationship with Hermione Granger for the past six months. Many were surprised when Fred and Hermione began dating as none thought the longtime tricksters and the bookworm had much in common. Indeed, six months in, Fred was beginning to wonder the same thing. He had even tried to get George to tone down their Halloween pranks that year, lest they upset the former prefect.
But George would not be swayed and together they decided to target their mother's Halloween party. Ever since her children had all graduated, Molly delighted in throwing as many parties as humanly possible. Her children saw it for what it was, an excuse to get them home together, but were happy to indulge her. After all, she did throw wonderful parties.
So the afternoon of the party, Fred stopped by Hermione's little cottage in a vain attempt to persuade her not to go to the party. He found her in the kitchen, making chocolate truffles. Fred greeted Hermione with a kiss.
"Mmm, you taste like chocolate."
Hermione smiled at him. "It's your mother's recipe. Would you like one?"
Normally, around Halloween, the twins would only eat food prepared by themselves or each other. But Fred didn't hesitate to accept a delicious looking truffle from Hermione. Hermione, the bookworm, the prefect, the stickler for the rules. Hermione, who had never pulled a prank in her life.
He had a moment of confusion, tasting the strange bitter aftertaste before e erything seemed to slow down.
"Hermioneeee?" he asked as he slipped sideways out of the chair. His whole body felt sleepy, his thoughts a step behind. His girlfriend knelt beside him.
"I'm sorry," she said. "Your mother asked Luna and I to help... incapacitate you and George this year and I couldn't say no, could I? Don't worry, you'll still get to go to the party."
That was the last Fred heard before the potion forced him to sleep.
He woke up three hours later. The sun had just set and the guests for Molly's party were flooding in. Front and center was Fred and George. They were drawing a crowd. Immediately in front of them were their mother and girlfriends. Fred recognised their costumes as being from Hermione's favourite Muggle childrens book. Luna was dressed as the little Muggle girl, their mother was the good witch in a massive Muggle ball gown, tiara on her head and Hermione was dressed as the Muggle stereotype for a wicked witch, complete with a big wart on the end of her magically enlarged nose, her skin was green. The three of them were cackling, their mother laughing the hardest of all.
Fred looked across to his brother who was dressed as a scarecrow, propped up on a wooden frame. Someone had hung a sign around his neck. Like Fred, George could move his head but nothing from the neck down. Fred looked down at himself. He was dressed as a tinman and was sporting his own sign. He couldn't read it from this angle so turned back to his brother, craning his neck to try and read George's sign. George was doing the same.
Together, their mother's cackling laughter ringing in their ears, they read aloud, "We like to ignore the treat in trick or treat. MUM!"
Fred went on to propose to Hermione the following Halloween.
I fixed the names now, thanks for the readers who pointed it out. Shameful of me, really.