a/n hey guys this is a KILLJOY fic so i obviously dont own Party Poison (gerard), Fun Ghoul (frank) (though I want to), Kobra Kid (mikey) nor Jet Star (ray). Also, some of the OCs I have in here belong to my friend BeautifulDarknessKilljoy whom you should go and favorite cuz she's badass

Tears don't fall, they betray

Electric Motivation's POV

I ran, my legs screaming with pain and my heart feeling like it would explode. I gasped, my breath making a mist in the cold January air and my lungs aching. How did he find me? I shrieked inside my head, my eyes wide like a wild man and my face covered in blood. The cut above my left eye was still bleeding with no sign of stopping. This is bad… I thought looking up to stop in my tracks. He was there, his mask on, his long black cloak stained with my blood, the barrel of his gun pointed at my head. "No, no no!" I screamed, turning to flee, tears streaming down my face. I felt the excruciating pain before I heard the loud bang of the gun going off. My world went red, and I fell on the pavement, hard. The last thing I heard was the crunching of boots, and his frail, wavering, horrible voice. "I thought I told you already, I will get you to love me, even if it means I'll have to kill everyone you love …" and then the world faded into blackness...

I screamed lurching forwards in my bed, my face covered in a cold sweat and my face a mask of macabre. My heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour and my breathing was shallow wheezes. I felt an arm wrap around my shoulders and I heard Fun Ghoul whisper "what happened?" His voice was still groggy with sleep and his eyes weren't even open yet. My electric blue hair was standing up in this giant spiky poof ball and my kill joy clothing lay on a chair next to the bed. I decided to lie back down and Ghoul wrapped his arm around my waist. If he had done that a few months ago I would have shot him in a heartbeat, not missing a step in my little hamster wheel of life. No one knew about my views of the world except for Dark, and Kid, my best friends since I murdered my parents and left home. I looked up to realize it was sunny outside, not very unusual but I had to get up soon. As I pulled the sheets away from my body a hand caught my wrist, and Ghoul pulled me back down into his embrace. I lay there for a long time, rolling over until I was facing my bedmate and giving him a quick peck on the cheek. "I need to get dressed, Ghoul." I whispered, stepping out of my warm bed and grabbing my clothes off the chair. As I was putting them on Fun Ghoul silently got out of the bed, and without a word started rubbing my shoulders, which where tense and knotted. I gave a small groan with pleasure and I started getting all my clothes on. Ghoul stretched and yawned, loud but not irritating, which was unusual as he helped me pull my tight shirt on and holster my ray gun, things I could have done myself but was just too tired to. I sat in the chair, watching him get dressed in his costume. After staring at his green boxers for about 5 minutes I chimed in "put on your pants, Ghoul. Dark will have a fit and so will Gracie if you don't." He responded with a muttering along the lines of "fuck them", which made me giggle. I hate my laugh, it's too shrill. Fun Ghoul thinks it's cute but I'm still not impressed. After what seemed like hours he was finally dressed. "Come on, Ghoul they won't fix us breakfast you know." I teased, hearing his stomach growl. I had a meeting with Dr. D today to talk about playing a couple different bands on his station instead of MCR 24/7. Not that I didn't like them or anything, but I like having a change every once and a while. We walked out into a small room where Beautiful Darkness, Party Poison and Gracie were listening to the radio which as usual, was blaring My Chemical Romance songs. "Looks like you two had a wild night in." Dark commented looking up at my frizzed hair and Ghouls crooked lip piercing. Party snorted then laughed at her little comment, making me blush ever so slightly. I heard my stomach growl but I was in no case hungry. All the sudden I felt an excruciating pain in my stomach, one bad enough to make me double over and gasp in pain. I heard clamor around me but I couldn't make out what anyone was saying. My head felt like it was about to split in two and my stomach was no help. I crumpled to the ground my head down and my eyes pinpointed. I began to vomit, normally I would have been embarrassed by this but I hadn't eaten recently. I tasted copper on my tongue and another explosive pain shot through me. In an instant I was vomiting harder and harder until there was a pool of blood beneath my face. I looked up to see Ghoul's horrified face, his eyes wide and his mouth agape. "Ghoul…" was all I could murmur, my voice hoarse and scratchy, before I passed out on the floor.

I was alone. The room was so big, white and colorless. I trembled with fear and anticipation. Then I saw him, clear as day, Korse. His sweet smile sickened me but I had no time to react: his ray gun was pointed directly at my temple. My instincts told me to pull out my ray gun and shoot like hell, but as I leaned down lightly touching my holster I realized that it wasn't there. I stared in utter hopelessness as Korse walked calmly towards me, not saying a word. I started to panic, and tried to get up. The minute I got to my knees a flash of electricity forced me down. I was crying now, tears mixing with mascara and eyeliner turning my tears into black scars on my face. Then Korse turned me around and I screamed but not a single sound came out of my mouth. There, in front of my eyes was my ex boyfriend, Sam, his clothes exactly the same as I'd left them, the hole in his chest from my gun still there and still gushing blood. To his left were my parents, a similar sight to see except for them, I'd shot them and had written with their blood on the walls of our home, "You should have never left." It was cruel but my one way to tell BL/ind that they had just lost three assets and that I would never join them. Then I turned, just a little to my right and gasped, the only sound that had come out of my mouth that I wanted. There was my little sister, her white dress stained red in the middle, her blue eyes glazed and cold, her long blond hair still stained with blood. I gave a loud sob, my back arching and my hands trembling in front of me. Her death haunted me for years until I met Dark...

I was nineteen; she was nine and my brother 25. I loved my sister and treated her like my own child because my parents were never home and when they where they were drunk or high. My brother was exactly the same. After months and months of hearing my parents talk about going to BL/ind and becoming exterminators I decided to become a killjoy. I went with the flow for a while, my sister being the only person who knew and didn't take the pills my parents were giving me. I knew that if I took the medication, I would never wake up to the sound of despair. My sister, despite her age, was a very smart girl. She figured out a way to sneak two hover boards in the woods near our house and began to fiddle with them. I got scraps from an abandoned shack about 5 miles away from my home and used them to add detail and extras to the boards, which were missing several pieces at the time. My sister was a tad naive when it came to people though and she told our brother what we were planning. She didn't think that he wouldn't be on the drugs so she thought it was ok. A month later I heard the crackling of flames, women screaming and men shouting to stop the fires. I didn't stop to think about my sister and helped the men put out the fire. As I was pushing pails of water along I stopped to stare at someone. His bald head stood out along with is clothes and the dracs around him. I quickly glanced down and saw, to my horror, he indeed had a ray gun, and I wasn't going to test it. Then I noticed something and I began running. He had a black lily petal on the sole of his shoe, the black lilies my sister grew. I grabbed my hover board out of the trees and began racing through the desert towards my home. Tears stung my eyes as I kept pushing harder and harder until I couldn't go any faster. I made it to my house in what seemed like hours but in reality were five or ten minutes. I stepped into my house and knew something was wrong almost immediately. Blood stained the walls and furniture was scattered everywhere. I snuck through the long halls of my house and quickly sprinted into my room, grabbed a ray gun, a knife and some extra belongings. I stuffed them all into a leather bag and placed that near my door. I grasped the ray gun in my hand, which was shaking uncontrollably. Then, as I crept slowly into the front of the house, I heard the voices, my sister's screams of pain, betrayal and despair. "TELL ME WHERE YOUR SISTER IS!" I heard a horribly familiar voice say. "You should never have left! She LOVES you! How could you do this to me!" my sister retorted, her voice cracked with tears. I then put the voice with my sister's description. There were only two people in this world that I had truly loved at the time: her and my boyfriend, the one who wanted to become an exterminator. I felt as if I had been shot in the chest with a ray gun. He couldn't have, he wouldn't have…then I heard the screech of pain from my sister, watched a bright light brighten the room in front of me, and heard my boyfriend call his dracs saying "We'll come back later to finish the job."I ducked under a stack of furniture as they walked past me and out the door. I sprinted into the other room my eyes filled with tears and my heart with dread and despair. I found her sprawled out on the floor, a bloody wound around her stomach and blood trickling out of her mouth onto her hair. "NO!"I screamed dropping to my knees beside her crumpled body, my hands immediately compressing her stomach. She reached up, grabbed my wrist and softly murmured something to me."Hey, I need you to do something for me, okay?" "Yeah, whatever you need." I responded, stroking her hand, which had a death grip on my own. "Take my killjoy name, you remember, Electric Motivation." She whispered, tears running down her face from effort. "NO! I can't do that to you! They'll know your name!"I cried, not remembering the situation at hand. "Shhhhh…It doesn't matter anymore, sis. They already know my name, Big Brother told them. Please, do it for me! I'll keep your secret until the end." She comforted me. "ok, I will…" I whispered, silent tears running down my face. We stayed like this for an hour or so before I heard them return. "Go! I'll be ok, I promise." My sister murmured, letting go of my hand and rolling over on the floor. I hid behind a table and watched as my boyfriend walked into the room, kicked the side of her head to wake her up, grabbed her as she screamed and kicked, and hung her. I covered my mouth at the sickening thump of her body hitting the end of the line, the bones in her neck audibly crunching and breaking, her eyes widening with pain then going glassy and dull. I stayed like this as he left the house and then I passed out. Months passed after my sister died and I had never let on that I knew who killed her. My parents were anything but mournful around me and it only made me feel worse. My boyfriend was, seemingly, the only one who understood me. But I knew what he did, and I would never trust him again. Secretly I moved all of my things out into the abandoned shack. Then, when I was ready; I murdered my boyfriend and my parents .I swore that I would never let it go then, I would kill anyone who got in my way and I would close off all emotions. I disappeared for years or so it seemed, going through the motions of life, until I met Dark…

I quickly snapped out of my day dream to see my little sister walking towards me. "You're next 'Tric. Just tell me your name and it will all go away..."then I woke up screaming. The world was spinning; tears filled my eyes and people crowded around me. "Tric!" I heard Ghoul, his voice cracked and hoarsesomeone lifting me up and squeezing me in a tight hug. I open my eyes and screamed "Get away from me!" and leapt off of the bed and crawled backwards on the floor. Instead of seeing my crush's face, I saw my sister, blood pouring out of her eyes and mouth, smiling at me, and then raising a knife to kill me. Around that time I passed out and dreamt of nothingness.