Written for anon on tumblr; prompt: Dean knows he's in this for the long haul when he's willing to hold Cas' hand in public.
Words, Hands, Hearts
Twenty minutes after walking in on Sam and Gabriel ("Put a sock on the door or something!"), Dean still couldn't get the images out of his mind.
"I do not see why it is such a big deal," Castiel said, as the pair of them wandered through the crowded streets. "You were aware of their relationship prior to this incident."
"Being aware of it, and seeing it firsthand are two very different things," Dean said. "I did not need that image burned eternally into my mind."
"Perhaps if you just stopped thinking about it," Cas suggested.
"Cas, no offence buddy, but you walk in on your brother having sex with his boyfriend, then tell me it's easy to stop thinking about."
"I should remind you," Cas said thoughtfully. "That, while I did not walk in on Gabriel and Sam, I was immediately made aware of it when you were. Your mind was screaming. I saw what you saw. While their… position did seem strange, the visual of my brother – what is the word you like so much? Oh yes – fucking your brother, is not causing me as much pain as it seems to be causing you."
Dean flinched at the reminder, then burst out laughing.
"What is so funny?" Cas questioned.
"You saying fucking," Dean laughed. "It just sounds so ridiculous."
"Fucking," Cas said again, a small smile playing across his lips. Dean doubled over in laughter.
"Stop that," he said, regaining his composure. He was still smiling though. Smiling like only Cas could make him do.
"Where are we going, Dean?" Cas asked a few minutes later, when he realized he had no idea where they were walking to.
"Getting as far away from that motel as possible. I intend to not go back for a very long time. If at all possible, I'll avoid it indefinitely. The ocean is not far from here, and I figured you'd never been to the beach before…" He realized how ridiculous he sounded, or would sound to someone who was not Cas. Taking his boyfriend for a walk on the beach? Yeah, he had lost it.
It was a whole two minutes before he realized he'd called the angel his boyfriend, even if only in his head. Fuck, that was kind of a terrifying thought. And what was even more terrifying was that it really should haven't have sounded so right.
"Dean," Cas began, eyeing a couple on the beach ahead of them with curiosity.
"Yeah, Cas?"
"What does it mean when two people wrap their fingers together?"
"What?" Dean said at first. "Oh, you mean like this?" He took Castiel's hand in his own and locked their fingers together.
"Yes," Cas said, staring at their joined hands. "Why do people do this?"
Dean shrugged. "I dunno, it's just something people do. Like a show of affection, I guess you could say. Or, rather, it's showing other people. When I hold your hand, it's telling everyone who sees us that you're mind, and they can't have you."
"And that you are mine?"
Dean smiled. "Yep." He was totally whipped, wasn't he?
Cas dropped their hands back to their sides, but showed no signs of letting go of Dean. Dean smiled and tightened his grip.
It was there, walking along the crowded beach, that Dean realized. He was in this for the long haul. He wasn't running away, he wasn't even considering it. He was happy with Cas, walking along the beach like some cheesy ass couple in a chick flick. Not that he was ever going to voice that thought out loud.