Random crackfic. o_O Isn't that redundant...? Disclaimer: I don't own either of these characters from the Underland Chronicles or The Hunger Games. They belong to Suzanne Collins, and so do the series.

Third Person POV

A grumpy man faces a gigantic rat with a scar across its snout. They are on top of a flat, black rock, overlooking a desert.

"So. You came, eh?" the man says. The rat nods casually.

"This girl, Wizard, she convinced me to come, much to my disappointment." The rat says, faking self-pity. He starts to gnaw on a bone that he picked off the ground from one of the massive piles of skeletons around him.

"Ah. So she did. By the way, I'm Haymitch Abernathy." The rat didn't show any sign of recognition.

"Mentor of the great Katniss Everdeen and Peeta Mellark?" even Haymitch snorts at this. The rat sighs.

"There's no need for titles. I've never heard of a Batniss or Meeta. And, if you want my name, it's Ripred." The rat continues to gnaw away on his bone.

"Eh. So, what do you do for a living?" Haymitch asks, as he would the weather.

"Have you looked at me, recently? I'm a gigantic rat. I wouldn't do your pathetic human jobs! I fight to lead the rats in the Underland." Ripred snorts in frustration.

"Pathetic? You mean seeing your best friends and allies die before you is pathetic? That surviving in an arena, for all to watch you suffer, for them to enjoy it, that is pathetic?" Haymitch spits. He clearly believes in his cause and thinks that anyone will sway to it with the speech.

But Ripred merely looks him over. "What year do you come from?" he takes a big whiff of the air around him and waits patiently.

"The year two-thousand six hundred." Haymitch says carefully. He has narrowed his eyes and is looking at the rat with suspicion.

Ripred looks slightly surprised, and a faint smile twitches at the corners of his mouth. He continues gnawing. "I smell alcohol on you. Lots of it." seeing the angry look on Haymitch's face, he adds: "I come from the year two-thousand."

Haymitch's face morphs into a mask, hiding his emotions. He has apparently realized he is very vulnerable, showing emotions.

"Whatever." Haymitch grumbles. "Where'd you get that scar?" he tries, wanting to change the subject.

"Ah. From a friend, years ago. She was my mate, actually. But then she got swayed by offers of power, and while we were fighting, she gave me this as a last gift." Ripred shows no self-pity this time, only anger glows in his eyes as he remembers the backstabber.

"Well, this is my life story. I got picked to be in a Games, where everyone fights to the death. The winner has to have killed everyone in the Games. I was the winner, and nightmares are friendly with me." Haymitch proclaims. Both creatures shuffle closer to each other and remain quiet for quite some time.

"Don't you think we have similar personalities? Very similar? I feel like the same person created us. And that many people have read of our lives. It is odd." Ripred breaks the silence.

"I feel so, too." Haymitch replies.

And then both of them turn around and look at you right in the eyes.

A/N: Creepy, huh? I just think they're really similar to each other, being all harsh but kinda nice, and being mentors to the main characters. And, to brighten my day, all you have to do is click that bubble button. Yeah, the one that says "review this chapter". Any review is appreciated. Thanks!