The moments of happiness we enjoy take us by surprise. It is not that we seize them, but that they seize us.
~Ashley Montagu
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Sai woke without a sound, without moving, without betraying his wakefulness in any way, just as he'd been taught. His internal clock reported that it was painfully early still, but his instincts were on full alert.
There was someone in his room.
Stealthily, he slid one hand beneath his pillow to grasp the kunai hidden there, disguising the movement as a shifting in his sleep even as his rapidly-awakening mental calculations presented him with odds that the intruder was more likely friend than foe.
"Sai."
The low voice was warm and familiar, as was the faint unmasked chakra signature he could now detect; Sai rolled over and sat up, leaving the kunai where it was.
There was an ANBU in the doorway, stepping soundlessly into his bedroom, a lighter darkness among the shadows.
Sai knew this ANBU, intimately; knew the hard lean lines of the body beneath the dull white armor, knew the texture and the scent of the unruly dark hair framing the top of the feline mask. He knew how the muscles moved underneath that familiar tattoo when his fingers clenched around it, knew that the lips behind the cold porcelain face were warm when they pressed against his skin, and his heart beat the slightest bit faster simply because of the other's presence. But he, like every citizen of Konoha, had been taught from his earliest memory that a masked ANBU was no one, faceless, anonymous, and must be addressed as such regardless of familiarity or circumstance. He had been that faceless no one himself for most of his life, and even now from the other side of the mask the protocol was second nature to slip into.
Sai rose and stood at attention, wearing only the loose black pants he slept in. He didn't let himself shiver as the air leeched the warmth of his bed from his bare skin. "ANBU-san."
"I'm sorry to wake you." The ANBU reached up and removed his mask, turning it to rest on the side of his head, and then he became Yamato, and he was giving Sai a tired little smile. "But I've been ordered on a mission, and I wanted to see you before I left."
Sai followed Yamato's lead and relaxed his own demeanor as well. "How long are you expected to be gone?"
Yamato was still part-time ANBU, running missions that suited his skills and skill-level when needed, generally at the Hokage's request. Such missions were not frequent, but they tended to come with very little warning and lasted anywhere from a matter of days to weeks at a time.
"I should be back within a week." Yamato heaved a little sigh. "Which means I won't be around for your birthday tomorrow, so...well...here." He brought a small box out from behind his back and presented it to Sai.
Sai blinked, accepting the offering by reflex as a variety of emotions assailed him all at once; the most prevalent was something akin to surprise, bolstered by a measure of mild confusion.
He knew his own date of birth; Danzou had kept track of such information on all his operatives and reminded them of its passing each year. It was a way to mark them another year older, another year stronger in service to Konoha - a simple anniversary, a measure of progress, nothing more.
He had learned fairly recently that celebrating one's date of birth was a common tradition outside of Root, but he hadn't really thought about applying that concept to himself.
It seemed, however, that Yamato had.
"It's nothing much." Yamato gestured at the box. "But I wanted you to know at least that I didn't overlook it."
"I don't..." Sai paused, uncertain what he was trying to say, not sure of the proper response to this unexpected situation and distracted by the unfamiliar emotions surging through him. He settled for one of the simpler questions at the forefront of his mind. "How do you know the date?" He didn't recall that they'd ever discussed it.
Yamato's lips quirked in a little smile that hinted at secret mischief. "We ANBU have our ways, you know." He winked.
Sai blinked at the uncharacteristic coyness; Yamato was generally very straightforward with him, and the teasing evasion sent a little curl of...something into the jumble of everything that he was feeling. He stared down at the box in his hands, trying very hard to gather his wits and figure out the right things to do, to say.
"Go ahead and open it," Yamato suggested, and Sai found himself grateful yet again for Yamato's subtle guidance through uncharted interpersonal situations. He unfolded the top of the box and peered inside.
The scent of strawberries met him as his eyes adjusted to the darker shadows within, picking out the dull red of the fruit against the paleness of...whipped cream, from the smell of it, and a small round cake underneath just large enough to fit in his hand.
He looked up at Yamato, rapidly recalling all the information he'd learned surrounding Naruto's recent birthday. "This is...a birthday cake?"
"A small one, yes." The expression on Yamato's face was kind and...sympathetic, Sai decided. "I'm pretty sure Root didn't exactly believe in birthdays, and even though we all celebrated Naruto's last month I'm guessing that you've never really thought about celebrating your own."
"No." Sai took a deep breath past the tangle of emotions he hadn't fully sorted out yet. "I hadn't realized it would be expected of me."
Yamato shook his head. "It's not so much something expected of you, Sai; it's...something you expect of other people, in a way - I mean, friends usually celebrate your birthday with you. Especially now that we're not in the middle of a war or any other crisis, and everyone's trying to kind of get things back to normal."
"Oh." Sai blinked again, staring down at the little cake in its shadowy box, analyzing his emotional reaction. The surprise was waning, confusion fading on its heels; there were various other tentative feelings cycling through him and overall he was...pleased, with this unexpected situation. The idea that his date of birth qualified as a 'birthday', that his existence merited celebration - that Yamato in particular thought so - left an airy, pleasant warmth in his chest that compounded his pleased feeling.
Yamato's voice drew him out of his thoughts. "You know what to do with the candles, right?"
Sai recalled the brief, explosive argument that had ensued when Naruto had been prepared to wield his wind-nature chakra against his birthday candles a few weeks earlier and Sakura had insisted quite vehemently that blowing like a normal person would do just fine, you blockhead; he felt the urge to smile but nodded instead. "Yes."
Yamato stepped close and untaped a short, very thin candle from the underside of the box's lid, then cleared his throat in a way that made Sai think he was slightly nervous. "I'll...be thinking of you, whenever the mission allows for it." He carefully inserted the candle to stand upright in the center of the cake, and his gaze met Sai's in the darkness. "So on your birthday, light this and think of me, then make a wish and blow it out. And I'll be there in spirit."
Sai processed the instructions curiously. "...What should I wish for?"
"Anything you like, really." Yamato's bared shoulders rolled in a slight shrug. "Usually it's a wish for...for something that you want to happen, that kind of thing. But any kind of wish you want to make is fine - there aren't really rules about it."
"Then I will wish for - "
"Ah - " Yamato briefly pressed a claw-tipped finger to his lips, interrupting. "People generally believe that if you tell others your wish, it won't come true."
Sai felt his brow furrow in confusion without any effort on his part. "But that doesn't make sense."
Yamato chuckled. "I suppose it doesn't. Then again, neither does putting stock in the power of blowing out a candle to grant a wish in the first place, right? Silly superstitions usually aren't based on any kind of logic, but there's no harm in playing along and upholding tradition."
Sai gave a short nod, adding the custom to his mental list of strange-and-senseless things that one did for the sake of fitting in with other people. "Then I will keep my wish private."
"Perfect." Smiling, Yamato slid a hand around the back of Sai's neck, tipping Sai's head forward and pressing a kiss to the top of it. "Sorry I'll miss your birthday," he said, breath warm against Sai's hair and words slightly muffled. "But we'll do something to celebrate properly when I return, I promise." He kissed the crown of Sai's head again and drew back, his familiar warm smile plainly visible in the darkness.
"Alright." Sai gave Yamato a smile of his own, one that he didn't really have to work at anymore. That airy warmth in his chest was growing, spreading, eclipsing the smaller emotions stirring underneath, and it made his smile come all the more easily.
"Go back to bed," Yamato said gently, one black-gloved finger running lightly over his cheek and down the line of his jaw. "You should be able to get a couple more hours' sleep before morning gets here properly."
"I will." Sai touched his chest reflexively, where the warm feeling was centered. Happiness, he decided. This must be what happiness felt like. It was strong, intriguing, intertwined with a sense of gratitude and his overt attraction to Yamato and he felt a distinct desire to act on it somehow.
"Good. Then...I'll see you when I get back." Yamato leaned in and kissed Sai briefly on the cheek, then slipped the ANBU mask back around front, obscuring his face.
Quicker than conscious thought and against all ANBU protocol, Sai reached and tipped the mask up, just enough to tilt in and press his lips to Yamato's. He knew his mouth tasted stale and unpleasant from sleep, but the sudden urge to kiss Yamato was compelling and immediate and 'morning-breath' was not a good enough reason to disregard it. As a concession, he kissed in the way that the books generally referred to as 'chaste' - gentle pressure, closed lips, not using his tongue - and Yamato responded in kind, hands settling on Sai's waist, clawed ANBU gloves barely pricking against his bare skin. The box with the small cake Sai held one-handed at his side, not letting it get crushed in between them as he pressed up against the cool, stiff material of the white ANBU chest piece.
He lingered in the kiss a moment longer, then drew away while sliding Yamato's mask back into place.
"Thank you, ANBU-san," he said quietly, and lifted the cake box. "I will definitely think of...the person who gave this to me, on my birthday." He offered his small, genuine smile again in parting, the warmth in his chest settling pleasantly.
The blank feline face dipped in acknowledgment, and then the ANBU was gone.
Sai folded the top of the box closed over the cake, candle and all, and padded into his kitchen to put it in the refrigerator.
That sense of happiness was still warm around his heart when he slid into bed moments later, and he touched his chest again. Happy, he thought, drowsily. Yamato...has made me feel happy.
He drifted back to sleep almost immediately, thinking of Yamato's gentle smile, lips slightly curved in an unconscious smile of his own.
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Originally Posted: 11/25/11