Impatience Gets You on the Naughty List
Summary: Sookie and Eric have been sneaking around in Jan of Arc and Blakes Boogie's luggage – what on earth could they find in there? More importantly – what will Santa think of all of it? This is a continuation of the lovely story that Suki59 wrote for us – you can find it here: www(.)fanfiction(.)net/s/7659540/1/The_Exchange Thank you Suki xxx
~v~
Eric pulled Sookie by the hand down the hallway, the telepath trying to stifle her giggles while the Vampire smirked. In Eric's hand were two women's handbags, but they weren't just any women's handbags – they belonged to Jan of Arc and Blakes Boogie. And at that very moment, they were looking for somewhere quiet to search the bags for something very special.
"Eric, don't you think we should just wait? Jan and BB will notice that their bags are missing!" Sookie whispered in the dark hallway.
"Nonsense, Lover, we'll have them back before either of them notice they're gone."
"But what if they decide to do the announcement while we have them?"
Eric blinked, obviously he hadn't thought of that. He pulled out his cell and fired off a text to Pam to make sure all the authors, especially Jan and BB, were kept entertained until they returned to the room.
"There! We're free to find the treasure!"
Sookie bit her lip and frowned. She wanted to know who had written each story just as much as the writers who had been given the gift fics but she felt decidedly uncomfortable about going through another woman's handbag. Eric felt no such discomfort and pulled Sookie into a small bathroom before locking the door and emptying Jan's handbag onto the tiled floor.
They gazed in wonder at how much crap could fit in one tiny bag. Sookie knelt on the floor and prodded at several pocket packs of tissues, two umbrellas, a pair of glasses, a pair of sunglasses, two bottles of perfume and large quantity of receipts from ATMs. Eric looked at the mountain of stuff and stared at the small bag, opening it again and pushing his hand inside.
"How on earth did all that fit in there?" His voice was muffled as he managed to fit his entire head inside the bag.
"Never mind that, I wanna know where I can get a purse like that!" Sookie pushed the contents around and sighed. "It's not here."
"No." Eric frowned and started throwing everything back in Jan's bag.
Sookie picked up Blakes' bag and unzipped it, peering into it tentatively before tipping it over so, once again, they could try to find what they were looking for. Their search was fruitless and Eric sat back on his heels as Sookie threw Blakes' belongings back into her bag.
"You didn't think they'd be stupid enough to hide the list in their purses did you?" Sookie and Eric froze at the sound of the deep, friendly voice. "I mean – I know I don't hide my important lists where any nosy telepath or vampire could find them."
Sookie shakily turned around to face the smiling man in the red suit. His ruddy face was beaming and his beard and hair were white as snow. His red hat sat at a jaunty angle and the white fluffy pom-pom at the end shook as he burst into peals of jolly laughter.
"Uh ... Santa?"
Santa nodded and Eric scoffed.
"Santa? Don't be ridiculous, Lover." He stood to his full height and loomed over the rotund man who was still smiling and laughing gaily. "Who are you really and how did you get in here?"
"I really am Santa Claus and, as most children know, I can get in anywhere. Chimneys are not required."
The old man winked as Eric's hands bunched into fists.
"Now, let's see. Sookie Stackhouse and Eric Northman ... yes, yes." A long roll of parchment appeared out of nowhere and shimmered as it rolled out onto the tiles. "Oh, you two are definitely on the naughty list now. Stealing hand bags, being nosy and rude and as for what you two do alone ... well, my elves see everything."
Eric's mouth opened and closed as he tried to come up with a retort but failed miserably. Sookie stuttered as Santa stood and patted his belly before unlocking the bathroom door and gesturing for them to follow him.
"You do want to find out who the Secret Santa's were, don't you?"
The telepath and the vampire nodded and looked at each other as Santa lumbered down the hall to where the writers were waiting. His bells jingled and his deep, joyful laughs resonated from the walls of the narrow passage. He threw open the doors of the large living room and was met by squeals of delight from the writers.
"I found a couple who strayed from the pack." He took the hand bags from Eric and held them out to Jan and BB. "I believe these are yours, ladies."
Jan snorted and took her bag. "Lady? Uh ... okaaaay."
Blakes narrowed her eyes at Eric and Sookie and they sheepishly lowered their heads and blushed. "You had to know we wouldn't hide the list where anyone could find it."
Jan nodded and took a cigarette out of her pack, only to reveal it wasn't a cigarette at all. It rolled out into a long thin sheet of paper. Excitedly, Eric rushed over and plucked it from her fingers before frowning.
"This is just a list of the writers who took part ... it doesn't tell us anything!"
Blakes and Jan rolled their eyes and BB stuck her hand down her bra, pulled it back out and waving another rolled up piece of paper at Eric. The writers clapped at their ingenuity and Vic Vega66 stood up at the back of the room.
"Two lists? Not taking any chances girls – good thinking!"
Merick and Rebelina11 nodded in agreement and the room broke out in murmurs of excitement. This was it! After all the waiting - it was finally time! Santa cleared his throat to gain everyone's attention.
"Ladies – I think it's time to put these people's minds at rest hmmm?"
Jan and Blakes made their way to the front of the room, very aware that all eyes were on them. Jan puffed out her cheeks and mumbled under her breath about being stupid enough to wear a red dress to impress Eric – she didn't think he found pit stains attractive. They stood side by side and unrolled their pieces of paper. The room fell silent, somewhere at the back of the room a pin dropped, then closer to the front an excited Team Jane gripped Suki59's sleeve and whispered.
"I'm so excited I might pee myself!"
Jan's eyes glazed over as a horrified expression took over her features. "Spillage in aisle 12! Do we have any sugar soap?"
Blakes shook her angrily and slapped her lightly on the cheek. "You're not in work now, Jan! You're in Shreveport!"
Jan shook her head to clear the fog and gathered her senses enough to hold up her list and take a deep breath.
"Here is the list of writers, in no particular order. Merick wrote for ..."
Blakes smiled and held up her part of the list. "Evenflo78.
Bora Olldashi wrote for ..."
"Bathshebarocks.
Rebelina wrote for ..."
"Trarecar.
FangbangerLayla wrote for ..."
"Vikt0ria.
All About Eric wrote for ..."
"Spinmeayarn.
Missus T wrote for ..."
"Vilannh.
Lady Hlin/Sinner Like Me wrote for ..."
"OfDranoa.
Writergirl89 wrote for ..."
"Lady Hlin/Sinner Like Me.
Trarecar wrote for ..."
"Suki59.
Bathshebarocks wrote for ..."
"Abbey245.
VicVega66 wrote for ..."
"Smittenskitten.
Moxiemo wrote for..."
"Wylis.
Xia Cheyenne wrote for ..."
"FangbangerLayla.
Gabrielleblue wrote for ..."
"Cageyspice.
Miss Construed wrote for ..."
"Merick.
Thyra10 wrote for ..."
"Roux Roux.
BeatlechickSteph wrote for ..."
"Orsinoslady.
Suki59 wrote for ..."
"Rebelina.
Smittenskitten wrote for ..."
"Gabriellabrigantredfern.
Abbey245 wrote for ..."
"All About Eric.
Wylis wrote for ..."
"BoraOlldashi.
June Smith wrote for ..."
"Violetbat.
Cageyspice wrote for ..."
"Daniel Rook.
Northman Maille wrote for ..."
"Moxiemo.
Drumbjo wrote for ..."
"Xia Cheyenne.
Team Jane wrote for ..."
"Thyra10.
Gabriellabrigantredfern wrote for ..."
"Drumbjo.
Orsinoslady wrote for ..."
"Gabrielleblue.
Daniel Rook wrote for ..."
"Ericfancier.
Violetbat wrote for ..."
"Missus T.
Bloodfairy9788 wrote for ..."
"Lina li1.
Evenflo78 wrote for ..."
"Team Jane.
Blakes boogie wrote for ..."
"Rheya Kelvin.
Roux Roux wrote for ..."
"Northman Maille.
Ericfancier wrote for ..."
"Vicvega66.
Finite Anarchy wrote for ..."
"Pfloogs72.
Vilannh wrote for ..."
"Miss Construed.
Vikt0ria wrote for ..."
"Writergirl89.
Pfloogs72 wrote for ..."
"Pretendi'mnothere.
Hypnoticeyes wrote for ..."
"Beatlechicksteph.
Spinmeayarn wrote for ..."
"Finite Anarchy.
Rheya Kelvin wrote for ..."
"June Smith.
Pretendi'mnothere wrote for ..."
"Hypnoticeyes.
Lina Li1 wrote for ..."
"Bloodfairy9788."
The two women took deep breaths and collapsed into nearby chairs as all the writers were already moving around the room to thank the person who wrote their gift fic. Sookie brought them both a drink and smiled as Jan gulped back her Jack Daniels and waved her glass for more.
"You girls really pulled it together. I can't believe so many people took the time to write a story for someone that, in a lot of cases, they didn't know."
"Ho Ho Ho! That's the beauty of Secret Santa." Santa winked and walked over to the Christmas tree. "You never know who you're going to get!"
He pulled out a small remote control and pressed a button then disappeared before everyone's eyes. The entire room stopped and blinked, except Jan – she stood up and pointed to the tree.
"I fuckin' knew it - Star Trek style transporters with the location transmitter in the tree topper!"
~v~
A/N: So there we have it! Now you all know who wrote which gift! We'd like to thank all of the writers who took part – it really wouldn't have worked without you. We'd also like to thank the Fangreaders for their support – you guys rock and we couldn't have pimped this half as well without you.
We also have to apologise to some people who fell prey to gmail fuckery. Those involved will have noticed that, toward the end of the exchange, they received double messages – once through email and again through the ffnet PM system. We were unaware that emails were going missing and, in some cases, we weren't receiving them at all. Please take comfort in the fact that we would never ignore anyone – if you emailed to take part and we didn't get back to you, it's because we genuinely didn't receive the email.
We will be doing this again in 2012. There have been some suggestions to have another mystery writer exchange for Valentines or Easter, but after some thought, we decided to stick with having the Secret Santa exchange once a year. The first reason is that it's a lot of work and we would hate to get sick of doing it a few times a year. The second reason is that we don't want the exchange to lose its 'specialness'. This was a very popular venture, but so were contests when they first started. The last thing everyone wants is for the Secret Santa exchange to become a tired idea. We'd like everyone to look forward to it.
We hope that everyone enjoyed not only taking part in the writing and gifting process, but reading all of the gifts that our writers lovingly crafted.
This is Sookie's Secret Santa, signing off until next year. Remember you can find all of the gift fics and promos in our community and if you add us to your author alerts you'll know as soon as we return!
Thank you all xxx
Jan of Arc and Blakes Boogie.