TITLE: Out of Bounds
AUTHOR: Eledhwen
PAIRING: SS/HP
RATING: PG-13. Beware kiddies, for there is actual slash in this one, finally.
FEEDBACK: Is given a good, loving home. Flames will be used to heat it. angel_eledhwen@hotmail.com
DISCLAIMER: HP characters, places etc are JKR's, not mine. 'Out of Bounds' belongs to Amanda Marshall.
SUMMARY: Harry and Snape try to deal with the bond.
NOTES: Third in the 'Sins of the Mother' arc, after 'What Magic Binds' and 'Blood Calls'. Thanks as always to my betas, Godless Harlot and Medea. The lemon drop in chapter 9 is dedicated to Medea, who requested it. ^_^
ARCHIVE: Anyone who wants it, just ask.
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I'm standing on the
edge of time
Playing out a reckless pantomime
And every day's another wrong to rectify
I dream about a stranger's touch
And voices in my head I cannot hush
And every night's a hunger I can't satisfy
It's the secret that I keep
It's the ache that makes me weep
And I know I'm in too deep
I'm gonna drown
It's the emptiness I fear
Baby please don't leave me here
Cos I'm lost inside a dream
That's out of bounds
I close my eyes and it's so real
All at once I know just what I feel
Baby it's the kind of rush that terrifies
I am weak I am wrong
And every day I swear that I'll be strong
There's a bond between us that I can't deny…
I wanna surrender
I wanna give in
I wanna lay down and let it be now
And let it begin
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Chapter One: September 4th
As the other students rushed to stuff their belongings into their bags and leave the Potions classroom as quickly as possible, Harry leaned over to whisper to Ron, who was sitting at the neighboring desk.
"Hey – why don't you go on without me?"
"Why?"
"I, er, need to ask Snape something."
"Sure thing." Ron tapped the side of his nose secretively. "I'll tell Hermione you had to do something important…I'll think of something." Clearly he thought that Harry's reasons for wanting to speak to Snape had to do with the fight against Voldemort. While Harry wasn't about to lie to his friends, or at least not unless it became absolutely necessary, he was not at all averse to allowing them to come to the wrong impression. He certainly wasn't eager to explain to them the real reason he needed to talk to Snape. Thankfully Ron, as well as everyone else, appeared to have forgotten about Harry's strange behaviour at the end of last year.
Once the door had shut behind the rest of the class, Harry walked up to where Snape, who hadn't appeared to notice him lagging behind, was sorting through the papers on his desk.
"Hey."
"Harry."
Harry grinned for no reason that he could determine. "That's my name."
"I am aware of that fact. That is why I used it, after all."
"Heh."
"Do you find me amusing?"
"Of course not." Harry's smile remained.
Snape ignored that fact. "Very good."
"So did you ask me to stay behind just so we could snipe at each other?"
Snape just gave him a look.
"Okay then. What did you have in mind?"
"I did some reading yesterday."
It was Harry's turn to say nothing. Snape might have the knowledge Harry needed, but he wasn't about to give him the satisfaction of asking for it.
Eventually the Professor gave in and began, perhaps wanting to simply get the conversation over with.
"Have you noticed anything strange about your attitude to me since your birthday?"
"Well…no, not really. I mean, I don't loathe you like I used to, and I finally see that there's definitely no way you could be working for Voldemort, but I was sort of starting to think that even before the, uh, bond." Harry decided against mentioning the images of his mother's feelings he'd acquired over the summer, even though from their previous conversation he thought Snape most probably knew about them already.
"Oh. So you don't find that talking civilly to me, and laughing at me, rather than taking my comments as the insults I intended, is unusual?"
Well, when he put it like that… "I guess that is unusual."
"I 'guess' that it is, Harry. So is the fact that my carefully-nurtured despising of you has essentially vanished." Harry noticed that Snape was skimming rather rapidly over that admission, but let it go. "As well as the fact that I have fallen so easily into calling you by your given name. Among other things." //Which I really would rather not go into now.// Harry decided to ignore that unspoken addition.
"So what is it?"
"From what I've read, since it was my and your…Lily's…blood used, essentially the bond is identifying you with her."
"You mean…" Harry trailed off, unable to complete the sentence. //You mean I'm starting to feel what she felt for you, and you're acting like you did around her.// He was aware of exactly what those feelings had been.
"Oh dear."
"Indeed. Although we may fervently hope that is not the case."
Oh. Snape had caught his train of thought, or been thinking exactly the same thing. Probably the former, since he then came out with "We need to do something about this telepathic aspect of the…bond…as well. It is highly distracting to suddenly become aware of your thoughts in the middle of a lesson."
"Oh, sorry."
"As much as I would like to blame you, I must grudgingly admit that this is not your fault."
Harry smiled openly this time. "That's almost exactly what you said last time."
Snape ignored him again. "My reading so far has suggested no solutions. However, I will continue reading, and I suggest you do the same. Although I doubt you will find anything."
They had been quiet for a little while when Harry had a sudden idea. He thought accidental thoughts as hard as possible, unconsciously leaning slightly forward while trying to catch Snape's train of thought.
"What are you trying to do, Harry?"
He jerked upright as if caught red-handed in a crime. So much for acting innocent.
"Oh. Um," he stammered "Can I ask a question?" he finally managed to get out in a rush.
Snape rolled his eyes. "I think you'll find you just did."
"Ha, ha. Well?"
"Yes, if that's what it takes to get you to shut up."
"Okay. Well."
"Yes?"
Quietly. "Are you still in love with her?"
Snape looked taken aback. He opened his mouth, then shut it again. After a long pause, he said, surprisingly softly, "I think I need a little time to think about that."
Harry was rather amazed by that response, as he'd been expecting a sarcastic put-down, but he was even more amazed when Snape added "I will answer it, just not right away. Ask me again another time."
"Oh. Okay. Saturday maybe?"
"Saturday evening will do. But be careful, Harry. After all, you wouldn't want your friends to think you want to spend time with the greasy old Potions master. On that note, maybe you should be going."
"You're not old, really. Well, not when compared to Dumbledore."
This time Harry looked just as taken aback as Snape.
"Well. I'm not sure how I should take that." Snape said finally. "But I do know that your friends will soon be down here accusing me of having kidnapped you, if you don't go to meet them."
"Probably."
"Goodbye, Harry."
"Bye."
Harry left, feeling rather ridiculously content considering that he'd just spent the last half hour talking to Snape, and feeling very ridiculously happy at the thought of another talk on Saturday. He valiantly resisted the urge to whistle and refused to look more closely at the reasons for his emotions.