I came up with idea one day after watching Animaniacs and the segment "Good Idea, Bad Idea" and thought, "Hmm, I wonder how this would go with Higurashi?" and I came up with this, so enjoy!
Chapter 1: Knives
It was a normal, boring day for the young Sonozaki Shion, who was just sitting around her apartment, which was boring as ever. Her home was currently in a state of peace and quite, nothing out of place. Inside her bedroom, she was wondering just what had happened to her beloved Satoshi-kun, just where did he go, and if he was still alive, or dead. Just the thought of him possibly being a corpse frightened her somewhat, but what she felt mostly was anger towards her family. They were one of the causes of his disappearance, or perhaps his death. What ticked her off the most was that bratty little sister of his.
All Satoko did was cry like a little baby, and relied only on her "nii-nii" and couldn't do anything on her own. All she was useless trash, who couldn't do a damn thing, but cry, and cry, and cry, and would never, shut the hell up! Why did her beloved Satoshi-kun ever protect such a useless thing like her? The only possible reason was because she was his younger sister, and the only family he had left that didn't try to kill him.
"Though it is her fault too if he is dead…" thought Shion as she rose from her bed, and began to wonder the apartment, bored.
During her pacing around her home, she continued to think, but what she thought of would label her as a complete psychopath to the eyes of others. What she was thinking of was how she would take revenge on all those who had caused her pain. Dueing her revenge scheme, she would possibly find out what had happened to him, and if he was living, a corpse, or possibly a walking corpse.
"Gah, what the hell am I thinking, there's no such things as zombies!" thought Shion, while blocking out that odd thought, just what possible power on Earth could cause the dead to walk? It is completely impossible, not even Oyashiro-sama could do such a thing, right? Well, that is a story for another day, and universe, and year that is, maybe, maybe not.
Anyhow, Shion decided to sit down on the couch that was close by to where she was walking, and sat down. Then, came the brain storming, of how she would carry out her plan. It was true that the festival was approaching quickly, and that meant another victim would die and vanish, but she didn't really care who it was.
"It would be convenient if Kei-chan would die, he is the one that caused all of this to happen anyway. That's right, it is his fault that all of this will happen!" thought, then spoke aloud the now turning hysterical girl, "If he would die, then maybe things will change! He's the one who awoken this anger and spite in me after all this time, so he should suffer for his actions, isn't that right Satoshi-kun? " cried the mentally insane girl, who's brain had been taken over by her malice, and probably could not think properly.
Suddenly, during her fit of rage, the normal sized TV turned on, and what appered on her screen for only a few moments, appeared on girl, and what looked like horns on both side of it's head. Though, after it's short moments, the TV screen appeared normal and showed what looked like a cooking show of some sorts, it the theme song snapped Shion out of her evil ideas and turned her head towards the screen, and during this time, she could have sworn that she heard faint footsteps coming from the direction of the TV but dismissed it for her imagination. It's not like Oyashiro-sama had any interests in TV shows.
"What? I didn't put the TV on," began the green haired girl, but before she could reach of the remote a familiar face caught her eye, "Isn't that…"
"Hello, and welcome back. Now, it's time for our cooking segment, cooking with Rena-chan!" spoke a young, blond female with an air headed tone of voice.
"Well, thank you Shizuka-san, and today on Cooking with Rena-chan, I will be showing you all how to make the perfect bento box!" spoke Rena in her usual tone, with a clap of hands after her line. Rena was dressed not in her usual attire, but dressed as a cook.
"Jeez, just when did Rena get her own cooking segment? I know it's good and all, but how did that happen, and what's with the blond? Is she the announcer just for the fan service? They really need to enforce the "Anti Big Boob" law in these type of shows," spoke the well-endowed girl, with a bit of a pout and a sigh.
"Well, speak for your self," spoke a young, high-pitched female voice that came out of nowhere.
"Huh? Who's there?" hollered the female while standing up from her previous sitting spot and looked around, but there was not a single person besides herself.
"For crying out loud, either I'm going nuts, or my house is haunted," sighed the girl, while turning her focus back onto the TV screen.
"So, everyone, some things you will need would be a bento box, veggies, rice, seaweed, and a knife," began Rena as she walked over to the counter, which held all of the ingredients and utensils, "Okay now, everyone, be careful while using the knife, it can be very dangerous, especially if you cut yourself or cut someone else, right Shizuka-san?" asked Rena, to the blond assistant who was currently playing with a knife and was startled by Rena's statement, "Huh, what did you say Rena-chan?" asked the blond.
"I said it is dangerous to play with knifes! You could really hurt someone or yourself!" replied Rena with a concern look on her face.
"Oh, I see, but I already knew that. I am a nurse after all," replied Shizuka with a stern look on her face.
"R-really? I didn't know that…" began Rena while looking at the so called nurse, "A-anyway, first place the carrot on the counter, and began to chop, chop, chop away," sang Rena in a sing-song voice with a happy look on her face.
"Hmm, chop, chop away huh, and it's dangerous towards people," spoke Shion aloud as she continued, and then a light blub went off in her head, "A knife is a dangerous weapon, hehehe, that's perfect."
"Okay, now we use the rice and make-" with a flip of the remote, Shion turned off the TV, and walked out of the room with a grin plastered on her face, "I better start preparing for there demise, right Satoshi-kun?"
Good Idea: Using a knife to chop up vegetables.
A few days later….
"Ga-ahhhhh!" shouted a young, female voice, which most likely belong to a child. Her cries were reverberated painfully through out the chamber she was trapped in. Her arms were strapped, and so were her legs, and there was no escape. Over and over, pain filled her body, her right arm had started to numb from the wounds created by someone she thought was a friend. Her arm, the wood she was strapped to, the tile floor beneath her, were stained red, with blood, her blood.
"Why don't you cry! Don't you always beg and complain like an useless piece of trash you are! So, why don't you! If you think Satoshi-kun will return if you just deal with the pain, then your dead wrong! He'll never return thanks to you!" shouted an infuriated older female voice, whose eyes were filled with hatred, malice, and anger.
"I-I won't cry, no matter how many times that you stab me! This will show nii-nii that I can be strong!" she momentarily stops as she cries out in pain from another stab, "H-h-he will return! I know that nii-nii will come back if I stay strong! I'll show him, everyone that I'm not a burden anymore!" hollered the girl, letting her words flow like a river, even while being stabbed, even while being in undesirable pain, but she wouldn't let her tears flow. Hell would freeze over first, for her lover of her brother, and the desire to see him again, to hug him, to have him pat her head again, all of this and more was keeping her strong will up.
"Shut the hell up you brat!" hollered the demented older female while she stabed the girl again, now in the left arm, "This is all your damn fault, and you know it!"
"No, I won't!" continued the girl as she eyed the weapon that has been used to pierce her flesh, it was covered in her blood, and the angry female continued her rampage. Blood, and more blood continued to flow, and the pain still circulated through her body, but her will wouldn't break, "I will not cry, because I know he will come back and he'll pat me on the head and tell me how strong I was, and I won't lose to you!" shouted the girl again.
Pain, blood, more pain, more blood, just how much could she take? How long will her shield stay strong? How many more breaths does she have? Ho much longer does she have to live?
"So, stab me as much as you want, but I won't break! No matter what, I will stay strong for nii-nii!" shouted the girl again, and those were the last things she would ever speak in this world.
"Ahhhh!" shouted the angery female, and the weapon went straight through the girls head, finishing the deed, Shion managed to do what she wanted to do for so long, kill the little brat Satoko.
"Hahahah. Ahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!" was what she screamed; as she looks at the very weapon she used to kill Satoko with, a knife. She then thought, "I have to thank Rena for giving me this idea!"
Bad Idea: Using knives to kill little girls.
"Well, kids, I hope you learned a lesson today!" shouted the happy voice of little Hanyuu.
"Hanyuu, you do realize that you're the one that gave Shion that idea of using a knife to kill Satoko after showing her Rena's cooking show…" spoke Rika in an annoyed tone of voice, and wondering how she got dragged into this type of mess? Sure, she's used to seeing everyone trying to kill each other over and over, but when did it turn into a type of educational show? That's not the only thing…
"Another thing Hanyuu, what's wit-" before she could continue her sentence, Rika was cut off by a buzzer type noise and then Hanyuu butted in and spoke, "You all know what that means!" she shouted as happy and joyfully as ever.
"Well, I don't," spoke Rika.
"It's time for the Wheel of Morality!" suddenly, out of the blue a strange, giant wheel appeared with a bunch of odd symbols on it, and it's appearance caused Rika to shout "What!" but Hanyuu ignored her and continued, "And pushing the wheel will be today's guest, Marikawa Shizuka!"
With that, the blond, airhead nurse appeared with a quizzical expression on her face, "How did I get here? First thing I know I'm driving a Humvee through a hord of zombies, then I'm on a cooking show with Rena-chan, and now I'm here were ever we are."
"Yes, that's all interesting, but could you come over here and push the wheel!" commanded Hanyuu in a dark tone, with cold eyes.
"Just what the hell is going on…?" asked Rika as she watch the scene in front of her unfold. Sure, she has been through weird situations before, but this one takes the cake, she as has absolutely no clue what's going on, and that is defiantly wrong!
"Ahh, alright," spoke Shizuka as she walked over to the Wheel of Morality and spun it semi-hard and it began to spin. When it finally slowed down it landed on a odd symbol and a piece of paper came out of the machine and Hanyuu grab the paper and handed it to the quest, Shizuka, and she began to read it, "Now you all now that knives are only meant to chop things up and not kill girls! Why you ask? Simple, it is very, very mean to do so! It can also lead a person to become criminally insane and go on a killing spree and we all don't want that to happen, right?" explained the nurse.
"Hanyuu, couldn't we just tell that to our audience ourselves?" asked a fed up Rika who still had no clue about what was going on here.
"That's easy, we need to give our guest a few extra lines!" explained Hanyuu happily.
"That still doesn't explain why were doing this stupid segment!"
"We have to do since the studio told us too!" replied Hanyuu.
"When did we turn our tragic life into some learning show!" hollered Rika, who had became ticked off by these sudden events. She had not sign up to this, nor had she agreed to such a thing! "Then what's up with the blond?"
"Oh, we need guest stars to explain the morale of our story, so the studio send random people from other shows to be guest stars! Oh, look at the time, it's the end of the show, so bye-bye!" and with that, the screen goes dark.
"Hey, Hanyuu, I'm not done talking to you yet!" Rika yelled in the dark room, and trips over something and yells, "I swear Hanyuu, when I find you, you better talk or else!"
Although, during this, Rika thought, "At least I know why Rena wasn't killed…"
Cue the credits!
Preview of the next episode:
"Hello everyone, for the next episode, the theme will be baseball bats! Oh, I can't wait to see what import story lesson we learn next!" explained Hanyuu.
During this, Rika sighed, just how was she going to get out of this mess?
"Now, let me introduce our next guest, Takagi Saya!" and with that, a girl with pink hair in pigtails and glasses appeared.
"Just how did I get here!" hollered the pink haired girl.
"Well, see you next episode!"
"We're all doomed…" sighed Rika.
To be continued….
Well, that was chapter one! I hoped you enjoyed, and the quest stars were kidnapped off of Highschool of the Dead, since I have been obsessed with that lately and I needed some guest stars for this anyway, so I hoped you enjoyed and please review to let me now what you thought about it!