How My Daughter Changed Me

By ConsultingTimeLordIn221B

Chapter 1 – A Changed Man

"You are the love of my life. Everything I have and everything I am is yours, forever."

2020

"Ted, I'm losing my mind."

"Hello to you too Barney," smiled Tracy as Barney stormed into her and Ted's home. Her smile faltered and she exchanged a concerned look with her husband when she saw the baby in their friend's arms. "Again?"

Barney nodded, collapsing on the sofa next to 3 and 5-year-old Luke and Penny.

"Penny, go take your brother to your room to play," said Tracy, softly.

"Bye uncle Barney!" cried the kids, as Penny grabbed her brother's hand. Barney only nodded in acknowledgment.

"Beer, Barney?" offered Ted.

"You know I can't," grunted Barney. He looked down at his sleeping daughter and his eyes softened. "Not now."

Tracy put a hand on Ted's shoulder and sat down on the sofa next to one of her husband's best friends.

"What's going on this time with… her?" asked Tracy tentatively. Ted sat down across from them.

Barney ran a hand over his drawn face.

"She's been at it again. She's never home and she refuses to quit that job. Worst yet, she refuses to hold Ellie."

"Lots of women suffer from Postpartum Depression, Barney. Are you sure –?"

"She said the very sight of her made her feel sick at what we did that night. Don't get me wrong, in the technical sense I'd like to forget that night as well… she did this really weird –"

"Too much information," interceded Ted. "Barney, have you talked to Marshall?"

"About –?"

"You know." Barney sighed.

"I… I wanted so hard to be a good father. To be the father mine wasn't. To be able to raise Ellie under one roof…"

"Barney, you're already being a better father than yours," said Tracy softly. "You've been trying to make this work for months. Sometimes… sometimes it's healthier to raise a child… alone."

"But for her to grow up without a mother… what do I know about raising a daughter?"

"Not a thing," said Ted, leading Tracy to laugh and even Barney to crack a weak smile. "But you're not alone. You've got Tracy here who's got plenty experience and who is probably wishing Penny was Ellie's age again…"

"He speaks the truth," snorted Penny.

"And Lily has had plenty of practice with Daisy. And there's your mother. She may not know much about raising a daughter but she sure as hell managed to do something right with James."

"Thanks Ted, you always know how to make a guy feel good." They all laughed.

"All I'm saying is, you're not alone. We're all on Team Ellie –"

Barney groaned and Tracy smiled endearingly.

"Too soon?" Ted asked Tracy.

"Just a little bit," said Tracy with a Russian accent, causing Ted to choke on his drink. As though on cue, Ellie awoke and started crying.

"Damn it, Ted," groaned Barney. "I had finally gotten her asleep on the ride over here. One more sleepless night and I will seriously take Lily's advice and give her some wine."

Ted stared at his friend gobsmacked then looked at Tracy. She shrugged.

"He needs more help than we thought," she concluded. "And apparently so do Lily and Marshall."

3 Months Later

"Well?" asked Lily when Barney entered their apartment. It was the day of Ellie's first birthday.

Barney had a sullen expression on his face, causing his friends to exchange anxious looks.

"Sole custody," he finally said. "She's not allowed within 100 yards of Ellie until she's fourteen, at which time Ellie is old enough to decide if she wants to ever see her mother."

Unsure if the situation was one of which could be celebrated, Lily was the first to simply give Barney a much-needed hug. They each took turns hugging him, each handing off Ellie like a hot potato as they did. Finally, she ended up back in Barney's arms. He looked down at her pensively.

"What's the matter?" asked Marshall, breaking the silence.

"It's just… today's her first birthday."

The room was so silent; you could hear Lily and Marshall's children in the next room breathing deeply as they slept.

"Well, I say this calls for a toast," said Lily, going to the kitchen to grab the champagne flutes. She came back with six of them and a bottle. After pouring them each a glass she said, "To Barney and Ellie. The best is yet to come."

"To Barney and Ellie," they all said in unison.

"To Barney and Ellie," said a voice from the doorway.

Recognizing the voice, they all spun around and came face-to-face with none other than Robin. All of their smiles became notably strained, particularly Barney's, following him downing his entire flute. He shook a little bit, having not had a drink in quite some time, and Tracy quickly took Ellie out of his arms.

"Hi Robin, good to see you, sorry have to use the bathroom, are the cameras still installed Lily?"

"What cameras?"

"Never mind." He practically tripped over his feet in his haste to leave the room.

"Bedroom," said Marshall.

"Right, I knew that. Just wanted to keep you on your feet…" He slammed the bathroom door behind him. They all turned back to Robin who had a troubled look on her face.

"I should go," she said, readjusting her purse. "I didn't mean to –" Her gaze unintentionally wandered over to Ellie. She already looked remarkably like Barney, much to Robin's discomfort.

"You don't get to keep doing this, Robin," said Ted and Lily at the same time. They exchanged a look and Ted indicated for Lily to continue.

"You can't keep walking in and out of our lives and not expecting a big reaction," Lily continued. "It's not fair to us and it's certainly not fair to Barney. We haven't seen you since MacLaren's on the night of Ted and Tracy's wedding and you wouldn't have even been there if it weren't for Tracy convincing you."

"I know, I'm sorry," said Robin quickly. "I've been so –"

"Busy, yes we know," interrupted Marshall, taking everyone by surprise. "We've all been busy Robin, we're always busy. But we still make time for the big moments and if we can't be there in person, we reach out. Name one time in the past several years that you've reached out. I mean, really. Could you honestly tell us anything that has gone on in our lives this past year?"

Robin bit her lip and was silent. It was a rhetorical question. They all knew that she couldn't.

"Well here, let me fill you in a bit. Our little one just started school. That's right, it's that time now. Marvin and Daisy are great, thanks for asking. Marvin's taken up basketball like his old man and Daisy is into theater. Go figure."

"Then there's Ted and Tracy. Penny and Luke are five and three now. Old enough to wonder where this mysterious aunt Robin has been that they've heard all these stories about."

"And then there's Barney –"

"Marshall, enough." It wasn't Robin who cut him off though, but Barney who was standing in the doorway of the bathroom.

5 Minutes Earlier

"Pull yourself together Stinson," snapped Barney to himself in the mirror. "It's just Rob – Scherbatsky." He groaned, running his hands over his face.

He didn't know why this was happening to him. He and Robin had parted on amicable terms. They had even been fine when they saw each other for the first time in ages at MacLaren's on the night of Ted's wedding. But now? Perhaps it was all of the "what if's" that were coming back to the surface. What if she had been able to have kids? What if he could handle all the traveling that came with her job? What if Ellie was their daughter and not the result of a Perfect Month?

Stop it he thought. You and her were just not good enough. The love just wasn't strong enough…

But he knew that wasn't quite true, at least not on his end. He loved her unconditionally like he had never been able to love anyone before Ellie was born. A part of him knew that he probably would always love her because of all those special moments they had shared together. He would never admit that to anyone though…

His thoughts were cut off when he heard Marshall's voice rising.

"Name one time in the past several years that you've reached out. I mean, really. Could you honestly tell us anything that has gone on in our lives this past year?"

Barney continued to listen as he stared at his reflection in the mirror. He could not hear any response from Robin but he was sure that she had no idea how to react. Marshall was not the confrontational type but once you lost Marshall's respect, it was difficult to regain it.

The big goof trusts people inherently Barney thought with a slight smirk.

"And then there's Barney –"

Barney perked up upon hearing his name and quickly opened the door.

"Marshall, enough," he said, sharply.

He felt everyone's eyes rest on him, including Robin's. He purposefully ignored hers though. He couldn't look her way. Not now when he knew it would be impossible to walk, let alone think, straight.

"Barney, she should know all that she walked out on –" Marshall began, but Barney cut him off.

"She chose her life and I chose mine. Anything that is shared at this point should come from me, not by word-of-mouth." He walked over to Tracy, who was still holding Ellie, and took her.

"At any rate," Barney continued, "I think it's time I'd get her home. We both had a long day waiting for the judge's decision and she never had time for an actual nap."

"You're a good father, Barney," said Lily, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Who would've thought," added Ted, cracking a smile that Barney didn't return. He was too busy looking at his baby girl who was starting to fuss in his arms. He cleared his throat.

"Goodnight," he addressed the others. He then turned to Robin who was still standing in the doorway. "You look well Rob – Scherbatsky."

He sidestepped her and left the apartment, leaving the others silent in his wake.

"He's changed," said Robin softly.

"Becoming a parent does that to a person," replied Ted, not unkindly. "Amazingly, even a person like Barney."

"He said something about a judge?" Robin continued, primarily addressing Ted.

Ted exchanged a look with the others.

"It's not our story to tell," said Marshall solemnly. He left the room then and walked into his own children's room.

A/N: What do you think? Please leave a review with your thoughts!