Ok, so my grandmother died on Wednesday and I'm not coping... Because the best way for me to deal with emotions is to write, I decided to write... I decided to make it a fan fic instead of an original story because I don't really have the mindset to create a new character to kill off... Now don't get me wrong, I love Blaine, I just knew I could work these characters easily enough in my emotionally wrecked state... Any mistake are mine, I don't feel like spell/grammar checking right now but if you find mistakes, please let me know and I'll fix 'em
Spoilers: Mild ones from season 3 but nothing major really... You probably seen the episodes by now anyway
Warnings: Character death and mentions of suicide
Disclaimer: Yep, I just won the rights to Glee because my week is just going so perfectly *rolls eyes at stupidness of disclaimers on this site*
When he picked up the letter, he knew he didn't want to read it. It had been left by the one boy who he wished he had never hurt. Opening the envelope, he pulled the note out. He read it to himself, knowing his voice would fail him otherwise;
Dave,
I know you went through this, I know you could have helped me if you were here but unfortunately for both of us, you weren't. As you probably saw in the newspaper, Blaine died. It didn't tell you how or why though. He, like you and I, was bullied in school. He was like you, suicidal. When his fellow workers discovered he was not only gay but married to me, they made his life a living hell. He tried to handle it but couldn't. He slit his own throat. I know you probably don't care to know all the details, but he said in the note he left me that he wanted you at his funeral. He wanted me to have support from all of my closest friends: Mercedes, Rachel, Finn and you. I know the cause of his death may cause you to suffer from your memories so I would understand if you didn't come but I really would appreciate it if you came.
He also said he would like it if you sang at his funeral. That is if you came of course. I don't expect you to sing, but if you could stand with me while I sang, I would be grateful to you for the rest of my life. I need a friend who won't think less of me when they see me looking the way I do. I need a friend who doesn't see me as the fancy boy, but as a boy. No one beside you and Blaine has ever seen me as a boy, only as a girl. If you could just come and help me practise.
I hate to ask so much from you, I wasn't there when you needed me and I am asking you to come when I need you. I know it is selfish of me, I'm only thinking of myself. I haven't spared a thought for Cooper or Mr Anderson. I haven't thought about Sebastian enough to tell him anything. I shouldn't be asking anything from you but I need to. I'm sorry.
Kurt Elizabeth Hummel-Anderson
Dave couldn't help but notice the tear drops on the page. It was covered in droplets. He didn't need to think about it, he was going to see Kurt. At 27, losing the love of your life was hard. Losing him to suicide, a lot harder. But the worst part was knowing that it was partly because of Kurt that was killing both boys. It wasn't that they believed it was Kurt's fault, but the thought still lingered. Dave got up and began packing.
The flight from Lima to New York was the longest flight of Dave's life. The movies did nothing to distract him and the food was sub-standard. It wasn't that the food was that important but he had hoped it would distract him. He wasn't quite sure what he was so nervous about, but he was sure it had something to do with Kurt. Maybe the thought of being the comforter, not the comforted was it. He was never good at making people feel better. Or perhaps it was the idea of being near Kurt when he was so fragile, when anything could hurt him. Well, it didn't matter; he would need to face it no matter what it was.
Dave knocked on the door. He wasn't sure what to say, but he knew he needed to be careful. As Kurt opened the door, he suddenly knew exactly what needed to be said. The fresh tear marks of the boy's face told him to keep his mouth shut. Instead, he pulled the smaller boy into a tight hug. He knew for certain it had been the right thing when he heard the fresh sobs and felt a needy squeeze. It was the strangest feeling, making someone feel like the world wasn't ending. They stood in the doorway for at least half an hour before Kurt pulled away, whispering a choked thank you to the larger boy. They walked into the apartment, which felt eerily empty. Dave had seen the place once before and it had felt like a true home. Like nothing could ever ruin it. How wrong that feeling had been. Sitting on the couch, Kurt lent onto Dave again, apparently not ready to be away from comfort quite yet.
The three days since Dave had arrived were filled with tears, hugs and singing. The funeral had come around and Dave wasn't sure who was more worried about singing. Kurt never liked to sing while upset, it ruined the song in his opinion, but Dave had never managed to sing in front of anyone. Well, not a large crowd, only a couple of friends at a time. Dave couldn't listen to Kurt's speech; he knew if he did, he would break down. That was the exact opposite of what his friend needed. As soon as it was over, Kurt signalled for Dave come stand with him. He took the smaller boys hand and squeezed it gently. Nodding towards the band, a piano began to play. Kurt began to sing:
Whoa oh, oh
If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye
Don't look back at this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dreams
Oh I'll be with you. Oh
Dave joined in at this point, providing a low harmony for Kurt
If I'm gone when you wake up, please don't cry
And if I'm gone when you wake up don'taskwhy
Don'tlook backat this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dream, oh, oh
Kurt sang out on his own, emotion very clear in his voice
Don't cry I'm with you, don't cry I'm by your side
Don't cry I'm with you, don't cry I'm by your side
And though my flesh is gone, whoa oh
I'll still be with you at all times
And though my body's gone, whoa oh
I'll be there to comfort you at all times
Whoa, Oh
Dave joined in again, squeezing Kurt's hand again, seeing he was close to tears.
'Cause if I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry.
And if I'm gone when you wake up it's not goodbye
Don'tlook backat this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'Cause I'll be with you
Whoa, whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh
Cause I'll be with you
By now, no one in the crowd had managed to hold back the tears. Dave and Kurt were the only dry tears and it would likely change soon. Although Dave was meant to only sing during the 'whoa' at this point, he sang it all, knowing Kurt wouldn't be able to handle it alone.
I don't want you to cry and weep, whoa oh
I want you to go on livin' yourlife
I'm not sleepin' an endless sleep, whoa oh
'Cause in your heart you all have good times
All of the good times
Oh whoa
If I'm gone when you wake up please don't cry.
And if I'm gone when you wake up It's not goodbye
Don'tlook backat this time as a time of heartbreak and distress
Remember me, remember me, 'cause I'll be with you in your dream, oh, oh
Kurt, at this point, had finally broken. Tears streamed down his face as he softly sang the last line.
I'll be with you in your dreams
Dave sat with Kurt after the funeral. They didn't leave for almost 2 hours, Kurt unable to bear the thought of a final goodbye. He didn't mind. It was nice to just sit and remember the curly-haired boy. Kurt pulled out a photo. It was the picture taken of the two boys getting married, with Dave as the best man for Kurt. They looked happy together, never thinking anything could separate them. Dave had long since gotten over his crush of Kurt, but he had to admit, the boy had looked gorgeous at the wedding. Kurt stood, smiling at the photo. He turned it over, only to find writing on the back. By the look on his face, Dave realised it was a surprise. Written in the younger boy's very distinguishable handwriting, it said "Kurt, 'I don't want you to cry and weep, I want you to go on living your life', I know you will sing that at the funeral and I want you to listen to every work. You are adorable. You are amazing. You deserve to smile. I know we can't live our teenage dream anymore but you can still be happy. I will always watch over you and I don't want you to forget that. I'm here with your mother and we are here to make sure you are always happy. I love you Kurt, I never wanted to hurt you. I know I have hurt you by leaving you. I'm sorry, but know it wasn't your fault. If anything, you are the reason I made it as long as I did. Be happy Kurt, I can't stand the thought of you being sad. And remember the good times always. Love you always, Blaine" And for the first time since Dave arrived, he saw Kurt smile.
Yea, let me know what ya think... It will help distract me from the misery that is my current life... I mean, I'm not gonna force ya or be upset if you don't review but I really would like to get a little feedback on my ramblings
Song: With you in your dreams - Hanson /watch?v=gE6-_0WldCo
Random fact... This song and Take me away by Avril are the two things helping me cope... Anther random fact... With you in your dreams was written in memory of the Hanson brothers grandmother as a way for them to cope with her death... Third fact... This song is the only reason I didn't kill myself when my pop died in 2007