Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Percy Jackson characters they came from Rick Riordan's wonderful imagination.
ooo
Percy Jackson was an obsession Nico had always had. He'd known it was unhealthy, that his feelings would only bring him pain. That no matter how many times he ran away, that as long as he kept coming back for Percy, then he would never move on. But he couldn't help himself, because every time he saw those gorgeous green eyes, that warm smile that he knew wasn't for him, and the softness and caring he treated those around him, Nico fell in love all over again.
And so he hid it, because he knew it was wrong, how would someone like Percy, strong, brave, loyal, and straight, ever spare more than a glance for Nico? And it was in his box, made from darkness and blood and pain that he stayed, because as long as he didn't let others know how he felt, then he wouldn't have to talk about said feelings. Keep moving, that was his motto. He supposed he should've realized that someone would eventually find out, but if he had taken a guess he would've said either Hazel or Annabeth, maybe even Piper, never would he have ever said Jason Grace, but life had never before been in his favor. Nico wished it had been Leo, at least that would've just been a couple of rude jokes and eternal teasing, but Jason wasn't like that, no matter how much Nico wished he was.
ooo
It was during weeks of traveling and recovering that Nico avoided Jason, he didn't doubt his ability to hide from those he wanted to, even if they were stuck on a boat, but he had doubted Jason's determination, something that in hindsight he should've seen coming. But at the time he didn't think Jason would try very hard to find him, and so he didn't hide, just avoided. But Jason sought him out, and made him talk, and Nico was sure that he could easily avoid the personal questions, however tricky it might've been. And so Nico had talked with Jason, at the time not noticing how he'd been changing, or what answers Jason had been able to wheedle out of him, or why those things had been happening. No, Nico had been so sure of his cleverness and cunningness that he had seen what he was saying and doing as part of the plan, a plan that he later couldn't even remember.
ooo
Ever since his sister died, Nico had been afraid of trusting anybody. How could he not? He had trusted Percy to take care of his sister, to bring her back safe, and he hadn't. Nico knew that it really had been out of Percy's control, but he shouldn't have made promises he knew he might not have been able to keep. And Nico grudgingly admitted that he hadn't been the happiest with Bianca either, but it had always been them together, family, no matter what, and she had broken that and joined the huntresses, a group that she had known resented boys, and he could therefore never join, so he had a right to be mad, his trust in her had been damaged after all.
So Nico didn't trust very easily, and he didn't expect to be trusted back, he hadn't done anything to deserve it after all. But he had given Jason that goblet, had told him it was poison, and had told him to drink it, and Jason had. Staring at him with determined blue eyes, telling him without words that he was doing this to show him that he meant what he said, that he trusted Nico, and now Nico had to trust him. And it was with that gaze, beautiful and electrifying that Nico had started to wonder if it would really be that bad, to just let go and spill all of his suffering, open up to someone, someone who had never done anything bad to him, and someone who just might understand.
ooo
All he could see was Jason, and Nico was scared, more scared than he had ever been, because he knew what was happening, he could remember the warm feeling, knowing you were safe whenever he was around, the pure and often times idiotic trust, but that wasn't what he was scared of, no, what had him so utterly terrified was that every time he looked into those vibrant blue eyes, looking at him the way Percy never had, he found that he didn't care.
ooo
They were at war, and Nico wasn't sure who was winning, but he was very sure that if he didn't start focusing then he wouldn't be around to find out. Yet all he could think of were those eyes. Thalia had them, Nico knew, the same exact color and shade, but Nico swore that Jason's were much bluer and brighter, though that might've been because every time he had seen Thalia she had been busy glaring at the monster she, and sometimes they, had been fighting. Traveling demigods did tend to run into each other every once in a while.
And he could see Thalia, fending off monsters with her terror invoking shield away from the injured, but no matter how much he searched, or how many people he asked, no one had seen either Jason or anyone who would be fighting with him. But then there was lightning, loud and bright and much too far away for it to have been Thalia. And then he saw him. Flying in like the heroes from the stories he used to hear, all blonde and strong and completely and utterly gorgeous. And somehow, in some way, Jason saw him, and despite whatever horrors Nico knew he had faced, his smile was the brightest thing Nico had ever seen, and he didn't even try to hide his answering one. But suddenly something came barreling towards him and yet Jason was still smiling and all Nico could think of was no no no no no no. please no.
ooo
No. He pushed himself towards where he knew Jason would be. All blonde and bright and beautiful and alive. Please no. Dispatching monsters left and right, not even stopping to hear the gratitude or see the shocked looks or to wonder just how he was getting rid of all of them so quickly. Oh gods no. Crying, someone was crying, loud ugly sobs that left your body shaking, and Nico could see him, eyes wide and smile bright and blonde hair covered in what he kept telling himself was someone else's blood. No no no.
Bright days and warm nights and tentative smiles and wary trust and hopeful tomorrows. A worried hand on his shoulder and looking up hoping despite reason and reality that he'll be there, all wonderful and electrifying and all the things that Nico prayed would always stay. But he wasn't. Percy looked down at him, green eyes full of pity and concern and suddenly it was too much. Ignoring the yells, the pleas, Nico fled, just like all of those times before, fled from friendly looks and strong hands and soaring skies and everything that was him.
ooo
A/N: Oh look, I've gone and made myself sad.