Girlish Giggles

Padfoot is horrified, and he has good reason to be: it seems as though his best mate of six years, James Potter, is morphing into a girl, and it's all the fault of one Lily Evans. Oneshot, LJ.

Disclaimer: The name on the Harry Potter books state clearly, "J.K. Rowling". Sad to say, I am not that person, if not I wouldn't be lurking around FanFiction, eagerly waiting for reviews.

Sirius Black, hot hunk extraordinaire, and friend—correction, best friend—of Head Boy James Potter, was afraid.

Very afraid.

This was, by itself, highly unlikely, because no one had ever heard of Sirius ever being scared, fearful or terrified, in any way. As part of the Marauders gang in Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, Sirius was more often the factor behind various cases of cheap scares in students, especially during the April Fools' period—no one, he noted with a grim satisfaction, dared to cross his path for fear of being pranked mercilessly.

No, what he was afraid of was the loss of his said best friend's sanity.

"Moony," he began, determinedly, to his other best friend, Remus Lupin, who was buried behind a pile of thick library books. Remus chose wisely to ignore Sirius's whines, and continued on his Potions essay (Explain the effects of the Draught of Living Death, and give probable explanations on why each ingredient is used) assigned by Professor Slughorn only an hour ago.

"Remus!" Sirius tried a deeper and louder voice, smirking to himself as various girls' heads turned towards him, all with lustful gazes and the barest hint of sighs in their throats.

The werewolf looked up, plainly impatient. "Yes?"

At this, Sirius beamed. Then, remembering the gravity of the situation, he threw his arms up solemnly and continued, "Moony! James, James…he's turning effervescent!"

"Uh, effervescent? Fizzy, sparkling, bubbly? Is that what you mean?"

"No!" This was accompanied by a rather childish stamping of the foot, and more collected sighs from Sirius's fan base. "Girly! Like y'know, a GIRL!"

"I think you mean effeminate, mate."

"I do? Well, whatever, Moony, I'm not good at spelling, traditionally you are," There was a haughty (if rather handsome) look in Sirius's eye has he said this. "My point is, Prongs has gone ahead and turned himself into a girl!"

"And it's all Evans's fault," he added, as an afternote.

Moony had the cheek to look amused, while Wormtail (who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere to laugh non-stop at random moments) rolled around giggling in that high-pitched voice of his.

"You see, that's WHAT he does!" Sirius did a good imitation of what he considered was evidently a cross between James Potter-and-Peter Pettigrew laughter. "When he catches Evans looking at him, I mean."

But Remus Lupin had directed his attention back to Potions, and left with no appreciative audience to explain his theories to, Sirius sat alone, frowning. It was no good talking to Moony about stuff like this, he reckoned. Watching out of the corner of his eye as James tripped over some library books in his bid to help Lily, Sirius decided that this, once and for all, must be stopped. Evidently Lily had James under some kind of spell to turn him into her fellow, giggly, girl friend.

Well, HA, he was going to put a stop to that! With a kind of fervour, Sirius whipped out his bit of parchment and began scrawling.

By my hitherto-unsuspected powers of destruction—sorry, deduction, I—Sirius Black—have uncovered a truly sinister plot aimed at my best friend of six years, James Harold Potter. As he is pretty much a git regarding such matters, I have decided to take matters into MY own paws—oops, hands, and YOU, Lily Evans, supposed Head Girl of Hogwarts, will have a lot to answer to, regarding the blunt (or is it blatant? I must check this with Moony) fact that you are planning to turn James into a girl!

Ha, and my evidence, young lady, is laid out before you:

1. Which self-respecting boy doodles on his Transfiguration notes? And I don't mean doodles of important things like dogs and best friends and full moons either (sorry, inside joke), but DOODLES OF A GIRL! And her red hair? Green eyes? Ring a bell?

2. Believe me, no guy would be caught dead DROOLING in his sleep and muttering something that sounds suspiciously like, "I love you, Lilyflower."

3. I have discovered, under James's bed, the presence of a highly disturbing bag of parchment, all containing your name in various forms:

Lily Evans Potter

Lily Potter

Mrs. Lily Potter

and worst of all, Mr. Lily Evans! Can you imagine that!

4. He GIGGLES now. Not one of those manly laughs that are supposed to send girls swooning, but those girlish giggles that I am very displeased with. Yes, he comes giggling to me after you actually talk to him properly without hexing him, or anything.

With my undeniable proof, do YOU, Lily Evans, finally admit to casting some horrible spell on my best friend, James Potter? I am afraid that I would have to report you to that old hag (ah, I didn't mean that. Oops. Slip of the tongue. Rather, pen. Whatever.) McGonagall.

Sirius cackled to himself. Lily Evans was about to land herself in detention for her horrendous attempt at transforming his best friend!

It was an unforgettable scene in the Gryffindor tower that night. Out of the fifty witnesses in the common room, none of them actually forgot the scene where Sirius Black, with a pissed-off expression on his face, marched up to the Head Girl Lily Evans and demanded her to remove the spell at once.

Lily Evans was, of course, puzzled, not to mention scandalized.

"What now, Black?"

Sirius scowled. How did James ever come to fancy a kind of girl like this? Well, she was pretty, but Sirius never did like fiery tempers; in any case, James was still somewhere with the rest of the Qudditch team and would most likely be restored to full Marauder-ness by the time he got back.

"You," he stated, accusingly, "are a terrible sneak!"

While the rest of Gryffindor gasped in outraged tones at this unfounded accusation of their Head Girl, Lily merely looked amused, and gave one of those irksome girlish giggles. This seemed to rile Sirius up even further, and he thrust the parchment into her face.

He watched her read it, and saw, with satisfaction, that the bemused expression on her face was fast fading into a shocked, open-mouthed gaze. When Lily finished reading it, she whispered, "Blac—I mean, Sirius? Are you sure he does all this?"

"HA! I CAUGHT YOU RED-HAND—hang on. What?"

Much to Sirius's horror, Lily's eyes seemed to be filling up with sudden tears. The rest of the common room craned their necks to see what was written on the parchment that caused such a big hoo-ha.

Just at the moment, as with the worst of times, James Potter chose to make his arrival.

"Hello," he said, impishly, running his hand through his mess of black hair. "Padfoot, mate; and uh, Evans…?"

He ran forward, shocked at the tears clouding her eyes, and began quoting some ridiculous expression about how the green pools of her eyes were being flooded by unworthy water. Lily Evans stared at him for a moment, as though considering, and then, without warning, leaned her head towards his and enveloped him in a steamy kiss.

Sirius was, obviously, quite horrified. Had he really seen what he had just seen, or were James and Lily sitting on a tree, k-i-s-s-i-n-g? Okay, granted, not on a tree, but on a rather moldy couch; the thing was, had they just become Hogwarts's newest couple? He tried, and managed to successfully hold his puke. But it was impossible!

Damn it, he was losing his best friend to the Head Girl! There was an uninterrupted stream of puzzled mutterings pouring out of his mouth (which seemed to enhance his mystique and left the girls in the common room beaming at him fondly).

Unfortunately, Moony had seemed to read his mind—damn him as well! Was he learning to be a Legilimens?—and was watching him with a twinkle in his eyes that could rival Dumbledore's. "Ah, Padfoot," Remus said, with the kind of glee that only jibing Sirius could bring out in him, "at least you know that Lily isn't planning to turn James into a girl."

Okay, that was fluffed out in a moment's randomness. Don't like it? Review, and tell me why. Like it? Review, and tell me why.

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