Chaimera: Hi there
Kaz: *bouncing* Why HelllOOOooooooo…
Chaimera: Who gave her the Skittles?
C.C/Rayne: *point at each other*
Chaimera: This came out of boredom, excuse me while I feed her caffeine free coffee…
Attack of the Fan Girls (this is really effective if you imagine it like the start of a Hammer Horror)
By Chaimera
"Ron do you have to make your move when neither of us are looking?"
"It makes it even easier that usual to beat you Harry."
Ron grinned as Harry directed his knight across the board while at the same time arguing with his bishop. Hermione Granger sat in one of the large cushy arm chairs with one eye on the game while she read a large dusty book that, Harry most likely thought came from the library's restricted section. It was the Easter break and they were the only Gryffindor's that had remained for the week's holiday. The common room was quiet and warm and the trio liked it that way, not having to sneak about and whisper all the time. The game continued on in a companionable silence when suddenly a large brown owl swooped through the window and dropped a bundle of letters into Harry's lap. He looked at the front of them and sighed. Hermione, her curiosity overwhelming her urge to read, glanced over his shoulder to see why he was so down. As she read the front of one of the envelopes her face broke out into a wide grin.
"Oh, Harry, I see your fan girls have found out that your real. That cant be good."
Ron looked very confused. "Fan girls?"
Hermione nodded, enjoying the moment far too much. "You see, out of some freak coincidence, someone in the muggle world wrote a book about Harry and everything that's happened and it has a huge muggle following. Most people pass it off as fantasy, but some..um…dedicated fans delved too deep, and now Harry gets fan mail on a regular basis." She giggled slightly and sat back in her chair.
"It's not funny Hermione. The last time we were in Muggle London I got mobbed by a group of them. I'm pretty sure one of them tugged a piece of my hair out." He rubbed his scalp in remembrance of the pain. Hermione giggled again
"Yes, that didn't do much for your hair style did it?"
Ron looked between the pair. "Hold on. How come I'm only hearing about this now?"
Harry shrugged "You never asked." He looked at his watch and started. "Oh crap, I'm late."
"For what?"
"I have to go to London today."
Hermione frowned. "Your not going alone are you Harry. It's still dangerous even in central London, what with the ministry in disarray and all."
Harry's face darkened. "No I'm not going alone. I talked to Dumbledore and he's sending a professor with me."
"Oh, which one?"
Professor Severus Snape sat at the desk in his office scowling. Not that he didn't usually scowl but today it was so much more angry than usual. He dipped his quill in the well of red ink beside his hand and proceeded to fail yet another student.
With the drivel they submit as essays they shouldn't even be admitted to the school, he thought acidly. Though it did little to lift his spirits scrawling the large red 0% over the page did give him some satisfaction. The pile still to be marked was a meter high and to make matters worse he had to escort Potter to London. If it had been up to him, he would have abandoned Potter in the middle of London. See how is luck is with no one around to help him. Severus chuckled at his own maliciousness and looked at the clock above the fire which was crackling merrily. He gave the fire a glare for good measure and then took note of the time. He go up from the chair grumbling about Potter and his own rules and was about to take 50 points from Gryffindor when the door flew open to reveal a very out of breath Harry Potter.
Snape smirked as he watched Harry catch his breath. "Your late Potter."
"Sorry professor, I lost track of the.."
"30 points form Gryffindor" Snape smiled his patented evil smile as Harry glared daggers at him.
"Are you quite ready Potter, I don't want this to take up more of my time than needed."
Harry looked furious, but just nodded. Snape took down a jar of floo powder from above the fire and held it out to Harry.
"Go to Diagon Ally. I will be right behind you."
Harry took a handful of the glittery green powder and stepped into the fire.
He stepped out in the Leaky Cauldron and received a cheery wave from Tom the bar man. Very few others spared him a second glance, not wanting to be a known friend of Harry Potter in this time of war, though he got another cheery call and wave from a man in the corner whom he recognised to be Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was about to make his way over to say hello, when he felt Snape's rough grasp on his shoulder, steering him towards the Muggle exit.
"We don't have time for this Potter."
He scowled but followed Snape out obediently.
The next two hours passed relatively uneventfully. The two got what they needed and though not out of the kindness of his heart, Snape showed Harry some very interesting Wizarding shops not connected to Diagon Ally. The pair were making their way back to the Leaky Cauldron when they ran into a rather unexpected delay. Harry was trying his best to ignore Snape and visa versa, when a high pitched squeal emanated from somewhere behind them. They both froze and looked at each other.
"What was that?" Muttered Snape tersely.
A few more high pitched sounds joined the original. Harry turned slowly to see a group of teenage girls pointing and giggling at the two of them. They all had some kind of Harry Potter clothing on them and to Harry's surprise three or four of them had Snape shirts on. One of them pulled out a note book and Harry galvanised into action.
"Fan girls. Run!!"
The two of them took of but they could hear the hoard of adolescent girls thundering up behind them. Harry darted down a side ally with Snape close behind him. Snape skidded to a halt and opened a door. "In here." Harry darted in the door and the pair ducked behind a shelf.
"Why a book shop?" panted Harry trying desperately to catch his breath.
"This is a rare book shop and it doesn't sell your bloody books." Replied Snape angrily slumping up against one of the shelves. "Their worse than Death Eaters. At least they put you out of your misery quickly."
Harry nodded "I see you've done this before. I didn't know you had fan girls professor."
Snape who had closed his eyes cracked a lid and peered at Harry. "You tell anyone and I'll hex you into oblivion." Harry laughed and Snape glared at him. "Fine, you breath a word and I'll feed you to that thirsty mob out there." He nodded to the door.
Harry paled and nodded. His eyes widened and what little colour was in his face left. "Their back professor, duck."
"Where, do you think they went?" The voices were clear through glass shop front.
"I just wanted a quote."
"I quote, I wanted them."
"I wonder if he got my marriage proposal yet?"
"Well he's going to marry me any way so it doesn't matter."
"Do you think he gives autographs?"
"Do you think he gives kisses?"
"Harry's better!"
"No Severus is the best character!!"
"Obviously it's Draco."
"Check out these pictures I got at King's Cross"
"I still have a lock of his hair."
Harry frowned. "I knew it was one of them." He muttered and Snape laughed.
"Careful professor, they might hear you. Wouldn't want to loose any of that nice greasy hair."
"Maybe if we wait around here, they'll come back." There was a chorus of agreement, and Harry sighed. "We're going to be here a LONG time."
Stay tuned for: When Care of Magical Creatures goes Wrong(I might even put in a Triffid.)
And When Snape Attacks 1-3
Chaimera: Ok, so that wasn't as funny as I planned it , but really I crap. What did you expect?
Kaz: Something remotely entertaining!
Chiamera: Quiet. But I have to say I like my army of Fan Girls. They will probably turn up in other fics as people in crowds or at quidditch matches. If you would like to join the mob, just put it in a review.
Rayne: Speaking of reviews, please do.
Ciao
Kaz: *bouncing* Why HelllOOOooooooo…
Chaimera: Who gave her the Skittles?
C.C/Rayne: *point at each other*
Chaimera: This came out of boredom, excuse me while I feed her caffeine free coffee…
Attack of the Fan Girls (this is really effective if you imagine it like the start of a Hammer Horror)
By Chaimera
"Ron do you have to make your move when neither of us are looking?"
"It makes it even easier that usual to beat you Harry."
Ron grinned as Harry directed his knight across the board while at the same time arguing with his bishop. Hermione Granger sat in one of the large cushy arm chairs with one eye on the game while she read a large dusty book that, Harry most likely thought came from the library's restricted section. It was the Easter break and they were the only Gryffindor's that had remained for the week's holiday. The common room was quiet and warm and the trio liked it that way, not having to sneak about and whisper all the time. The game continued on in a companionable silence when suddenly a large brown owl swooped through the window and dropped a bundle of letters into Harry's lap. He looked at the front of them and sighed. Hermione, her curiosity overwhelming her urge to read, glanced over his shoulder to see why he was so down. As she read the front of one of the envelopes her face broke out into a wide grin.
"Oh, Harry, I see your fan girls have found out that your real. That cant be good."
Ron looked very confused. "Fan girls?"
Hermione nodded, enjoying the moment far too much. "You see, out of some freak coincidence, someone in the muggle world wrote a book about Harry and everything that's happened and it has a huge muggle following. Most people pass it off as fantasy, but some..um…dedicated fans delved too deep, and now Harry gets fan mail on a regular basis." She giggled slightly and sat back in her chair.
"It's not funny Hermione. The last time we were in Muggle London I got mobbed by a group of them. I'm pretty sure one of them tugged a piece of my hair out." He rubbed his scalp in remembrance of the pain. Hermione giggled again
"Yes, that didn't do much for your hair style did it?"
Ron looked between the pair. "Hold on. How come I'm only hearing about this now?"
Harry shrugged "You never asked." He looked at his watch and started. "Oh crap, I'm late."
"For what?"
"I have to go to London today."
Hermione frowned. "Your not going alone are you Harry. It's still dangerous even in central London, what with the ministry in disarray and all."
Harry's face darkened. "No I'm not going alone. I talked to Dumbledore and he's sending a professor with me."
"Oh, which one?"
Professor Severus Snape sat at the desk in his office scowling. Not that he didn't usually scowl but today it was so much more angry than usual. He dipped his quill in the well of red ink beside his hand and proceeded to fail yet another student.
With the drivel they submit as essays they shouldn't even be admitted to the school, he thought acidly. Though it did little to lift his spirits scrawling the large red 0% over the page did give him some satisfaction. The pile still to be marked was a meter high and to make matters worse he had to escort Potter to London. If it had been up to him, he would have abandoned Potter in the middle of London. See how is luck is with no one around to help him. Severus chuckled at his own maliciousness and looked at the clock above the fire which was crackling merrily. He gave the fire a glare for good measure and then took note of the time. He go up from the chair grumbling about Potter and his own rules and was about to take 50 points from Gryffindor when the door flew open to reveal a very out of breath Harry Potter.
Snape smirked as he watched Harry catch his breath. "Your late Potter."
"Sorry professor, I lost track of the.."
"30 points form Gryffindor" Snape smiled his patented evil smile as Harry glared daggers at him.
"Are you quite ready Potter, I don't want this to take up more of my time than needed."
Harry looked furious, but just nodded. Snape took down a jar of floo powder from above the fire and held it out to Harry.
"Go to Diagon Ally. I will be right behind you."
Harry took a handful of the glittery green powder and stepped into the fire.
He stepped out in the Leaky Cauldron and received a cheery wave from Tom the bar man. Very few others spared him a second glance, not wanting to be a known friend of Harry Potter in this time of war, though he got another cheery call and wave from a man in the corner whom he recognised to be Kingsley Shacklebolt. He was about to make his way over to say hello, when he felt Snape's rough grasp on his shoulder, steering him towards the Muggle exit.
"We don't have time for this Potter."
He scowled but followed Snape out obediently.
The next two hours passed relatively uneventfully. The two got what they needed and though not out of the kindness of his heart, Snape showed Harry some very interesting Wizarding shops not connected to Diagon Ally. The pair were making their way back to the Leaky Cauldron when they ran into a rather unexpected delay. Harry was trying his best to ignore Snape and visa versa, when a high pitched squeal emanated from somewhere behind them. They both froze and looked at each other.
"What was that?" Muttered Snape tersely.
A few more high pitched sounds joined the original. Harry turned slowly to see a group of teenage girls pointing and giggling at the two of them. They all had some kind of Harry Potter clothing on them and to Harry's surprise three or four of them had Snape shirts on. One of them pulled out a note book and Harry galvanised into action.
"Fan girls. Run!!"
The two of them took of but they could hear the hoard of adolescent girls thundering up behind them. Harry darted down a side ally with Snape close behind him. Snape skidded to a halt and opened a door. "In here." Harry darted in the door and the pair ducked behind a shelf.
"Why a book shop?" panted Harry trying desperately to catch his breath.
"This is a rare book shop and it doesn't sell your bloody books." Replied Snape angrily slumping up against one of the shelves. "Their worse than Death Eaters. At least they put you out of your misery quickly."
Harry nodded "I see you've done this before. I didn't know you had fan girls professor."
Snape who had closed his eyes cracked a lid and peered at Harry. "You tell anyone and I'll hex you into oblivion." Harry laughed and Snape glared at him. "Fine, you breath a word and I'll feed you to that thirsty mob out there." He nodded to the door.
Harry paled and nodded. His eyes widened and what little colour was in his face left. "Their back professor, duck."
"Where, do you think they went?" The voices were clear through glass shop front.
"I just wanted a quote."
"I quote, I wanted them."
"I wonder if he got my marriage proposal yet?"
"Well he's going to marry me any way so it doesn't matter."
"Do you think he gives autographs?"
"Do you think he gives kisses?"
"Harry's better!"
"No Severus is the best character!!"
"Obviously it's Draco."
"Check out these pictures I got at King's Cross"
"I still have a lock of his hair."
Harry frowned. "I knew it was one of them." He muttered and Snape laughed.
"Careful professor, they might hear you. Wouldn't want to loose any of that nice greasy hair."
"Maybe if we wait around here, they'll come back." There was a chorus of agreement, and Harry sighed. "We're going to be here a LONG time."
Stay tuned for: When Care of Magical Creatures goes Wrong(I might even put in a Triffid.)
And When Snape Attacks 1-3
Chaimera: Ok, so that wasn't as funny as I planned it , but really I crap. What did you expect?
Kaz: Something remotely entertaining!
Chiamera: Quiet. But I have to say I like my army of Fan Girls. They will probably turn up in other fics as people in crowds or at quidditch matches. If you would like to join the mob, just put it in a review.
Rayne: Speaking of reviews, please do.
Ciao