It's over, he was gone forever. Alby will not come back.

He ran the hands through his hair, skewering his nails into his skin on purpose in order to feel the physical pain through his nerve endings. Awakening, yes, he needed to wake up from that hell in which he had been involved moments ago.

He didn't even know what time it was, outside was dark and torches barely lit the hut's interior. But light was not required. The clarity would come with the passing hours, with the beginning of a new day. It'd expose all the damage that those damned Grievers done in the Glade and with that, inevitably, the wound in his chest would burn even more.

"Alby's gone, Alby's gone" he murmured grinding his teeth as a result of disbelief and rage. "He won't come back. Alby is..."

Dead, he thought, but his lips wouldn't obey him at all. He wouldn't force his body to do things he didn't want, or in this case, to say things didn't wanted to. However, it was the only way he found to be convinced that yes, he had lived that moment, they all had lived it too.

He remembered. Alby being seized by the Grievers and disappearing through the shelter's aperture. His words addressed only to Thomas, to take out all of them to a safe place or some klunk like that… Why he said that to Thomas but not to him? Maybe Alby thought that he wasn't a good leader, and seeing objectively his status, was right. Thomas was outside helping, while he was hiding himself in one of the few huts that resisted the attack.

Shuck.

He had left the Glade tasks undone, apologizing poorly about that. "I need to be alone for a while" he said, with his mouth dry and frowning, hence the people respected him without hesitation.

Maybe the others noticed about how much he cared for Alby. Maybe they knew about that occasion, weeks ago, when they both went into the woods…

"Alby, Alby!"

The blonde barely followed the leader to the Glade, with the lump noticeably slowing his steps. He saw him going deeper and deeper into the woods, as if they were endless, as if they both were walking in circles. Then Alby suddenly stopped, almost getting crashed with Newt.

"I don't see why you took me here. Maybe the Runners saw something in the Maze, didn't they?" he said, while trying to recover his breath. "If so, bloody hell, we could talk near the boys, don't you think?"

He smiled in order to show that his anger was not sincere, but his eyes did not reflect the same feel. Actually, he was worried about that sudden behavior change of the guy who was supposed to be the leader. He folded himself and putted his hands on the thighs to rest a while, breathing deeply in an attempt to purgate the pain of the lump.

Dammed leg.

"Newt".

He raised his gaze and stepped back. Alby approached too close to his face, close enough that for one moment Newt perceived his smell mixed with sweat, disturbing completely his perception.

What the shuck was he doing? With his breath so… close, so tangible. Once again he bowed his head in order to recover his own senses.

Alby had no idea of those things got Newt stressed. With any other guy those things wouldn't matter, but he was a special case.

Because Newt liked him.

"Why did you do that?..." he whispered, doing a smile immediately after that, with his nervous gaze wandering to all directions. Smiling was the only thing he could do to ignore that awkward moment. "There is something called personal sp…"

"Newt, look at me" he interrupted.

Swallowing his false smile, he obeyed.

His eyes commanded the silent order of seeing him at the same height as him, hence Newt stood up with his back very straight due to stress, making obvious their small difference of heights. Now instead of being the he the one who looked below, Alby was. The only sign of dominance he witnessed ever.

The only kind of authority that could have used against him. Because he liked to stay below his jurisdiction, only being his right hand and nothing more.

He felt safe. And protection it's a type of affection, right?

Right?

"Listen. I took you here because…" he doubted for a second. "I…"

His voice suddenly faded, but after a moment of awkward silence Alby took the floor again with renewed strength.

"Shuck my nerves" he turned his stare off only a few seconds before seeing him again, deeply, with his skin shining by the sun. "Newt, I think I like you."

Yes, he remembered it so vividly that his pain became more unbearable than it already was. His eyes, his dammed eyes finally turned clear: he saw his soul beneath. All his fears, his nerves; everything was exposed on that moment.

Newt raised his hand and touched his own lips with his fingertips.

"Don't joke, shank" he answered, with his heart beating with strength.

"So do you think I took you here only to fool around?" His eyes were still staring him directly, without trying to hide his true self.

Newt beheld his very soul. And a soul cannot lie.

He let him to approach more. He squeezed his fingers due to stress, dared to not look back at him again and kept his head down.

His voice. He needed to hear Alby's voice again once more and see that it wasn't a joke.

"Newt…"

Reading his thoughts he did exactly what the blonde wanted, calling his name with a grave voice. Only that small gesture achieved to finally unveil Newt's lips.

"If you speak truth, then" he said quickly, trying to stay stoic with low success, with the nerves invading him, with his body shaking, his perception turning blurry slowly, feeling himself fainting, with barely a break to answer what he really wanted from the very beginning. "I also… I also li…"

He did not have a chance to complete the phrase when felt his chin being raised by a stout hand, and then Newt felt the unexpected contact of Alby's lips with his own lips.

It was barely a small touch, with an improper softness of him. Newt did not even had a chance to react nor close his eyes when Alby stopped the contact, moving away centimeters from his face.

Then Newt saw him smile.

He wanted to shout but his throat didn't let him. How could he have been so utterly stupid?!

After that kiss he didn't know what to do, and due to the anxiety of the moment he did the opposite to what he really, passionately wanted to do. He escaped. He escaped when the only thing that he truly wanted to do in the whole world was to return the kiss with all the possible intensity, to fall into his chest and cry due to the twists of life.

But even now, he couldn't cry because tears wouldn't come out of his dry eyes; there wasn't a way of relieving the pain.

Sitting on the hut's floor, he extended his leg, the one that had the limp. He'd probably have that mark for life, but even knowing that he didn't cared at all; that limp made him remember his indelible connection to Alby. The day that he jumped…

A twisted smile appeared on Newt's face.

"Newt?" Minho's voice made Newt's smile vanish into thin air, flooding him with angry thoughts. He wanted to be alone for just a bloody minute…

Of all persons on Earth, Minho's presence was the least wanted. The issue with him was that Newt couldn't kick him out of the hut, he couldn't even talk with him and (bloody hell) he couldn't even make eye contact with him. Pathetic.

"Being far away from the others won't make him to come back" Minho said, without noticing the impact that his words had on the blonde guy. "Minho, keep your shuck mouth closed and go away" Newt thought, biting his lip with anxiousness, frowning without even noticing.

The real issue with Minho was that… he was special to him. That was the main reason behind his shyness on difficult situations like that one.

Recalling, after that day in the woods, he had had some awful days (nightmares included). He remembered the way that Alby tried to avoid him in a subtle manner, becoming suddenly busier than ever before and with that, having no time to have a simple conversation. He felt that Alby was purposely ignoring him, but he tried to shake off those thoughts and tried to convince himself that everything was ok. Alby was busier, that was everything.

Wrong.

Minho was the only person that noticed the slightly different mood of Newt, or at least that was what the blonde guy felt. Minho took care of him before the opening and after the closing of the doors, without asking anything about the cause of his change of mood, and accompanying him more than Alby.

Even though he was a Runner he still managed to have free time to spend time with him. Newt was grateful.

But, the worst scenario came out when, weeks later, Alby finally had enough time to speak to Newt, inviting him again to the woods.

"What I said you the other day… I was confused. Sorry" Alby's voice crushed Newt as if were made of thin paper. "You're lying, that's a lie, a lie, a lie…" Newt thought in total despair, but he soon realized that Alby was completely sincere. And that hurt deeply.

He forced himself to crack a smile, in order to not have any other issue with Alby. If maintained his position of unrequited love, probably the distance would become higher, just like in the previous days. And no, that wouldn't happen again if it was in his hands. Better to have an unrequited love than no friend at all.

It was fun in a certain way, that even when they were completely locked in the Glade, they could have spent perfectly days or weeks without seeing their faces, if Alby had wanted. That scenario was exactly the one that Newt wanted to avoid with all his might.

If past days were horrible, the ones that followed were a complete hell but because of an entirely different reason. His nightmares became even worst, to the point that he aroused the others in the middle of the night because of his screams.

He slightly blushed when remembering those terrible days. How ridiculous, screaming for something that wasn't even able to control, that wasn't even real. That was the moment were Minho, without consulting anybody, claimed the hammock next to him.

"I'll wake you if you start to shucking screaming again" he replied when Newt asked.

And he kept his word, waking up Newt every night when he started screaming, making two radical changes on Newt. The first one was that fortunately his nightmares ended about a week after Minho's move, maybe because having his sleep splitted in two was frankly annoying.

The second change on him, unwanted and inopportune was…

"Newt, there's a lot of work to do out there, get off your lazy ass and go" Minho's voice echoed throughout the hut. Despite his hardness, Newt knew that Minho wasn't being rude. He just wanted to take him out of his self-absorption.

As if it wasn't enough, he extended his hand to him to raise him from the ground, with the same look of false nuisance for his tardiness. And then, Newt felt clearly the effect that Minho had on him.

"Come on, Newt…" He softened his voice finally showing his true self.

...Newt had begun to feel his heart beating for him.