Disclaimer – The usual applies. Hannibal Lecter, Mischa Lecter, their
parents and any other characters form the trilogy are not mine, they all
belong the Boss – Thomas Harris. I just want to merely borrow them and a
section of Hannibal's memory palace for a moment; I promise that when I'm
finished, I'll leave everything as I found it. No profit is being made from
this work.
A/N – Takes place during Hannibal's childhood and is from his POV. It was inspired by his memory recollection, during the flight back to the US (Hannibal, chapter 48) As much as I wanted to have Hannibal and his family speaking in their native Lithuanian tongue, this was not possible as I couldn't get a translation.....so you'll have to imagine them as doing so instead.
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Childhood's End
For the first time in my short life I know I am completely alone. The war that has ravaged the world and my home of Vilnius, Lithuania, has robbed me of my family and a childhood I will not come to know.
My parents are lying dead in the ruins of our once splendid and magnificent estate house, untouched and unmoving in the places that they died. I tried so hard to get them out, to help save them. I think my mother was killed instantly by a bullet fired from one of the deserter's guns, she did not respond to me when I looked into her eyes and called "Momma". I turned to see my father, he was on his back, and a gaping wound sucked in his chest with each ragged breath he took. I summoned all the strength in my 6 year old body to pull him out of the building with me; he weighed so much though, I couldn't budge him. Tears were falling down my face as I pulled his arm and begged "Papa, help me please....you have to help me" he was coughing up blood as he tried to speak to me, his final words still echo in my ears 'Go Hannibal...take Mischa and run, look after her". His eyes glazed over and his grasp fell from mine as the final breath left his body and dissolved into the atmosphere. It took a few minutes for those words to sink in, such was my loss. I snapped out of my trance and shouted for the one person I had to find "MISCHA"
I ran through the bullet ridden halls towards her room, all the time calling out to her "Mischa.....Mischa, where are you?!" I reach her door, seeing the bullet holes in it, hoping with all that's left inside of me, she hasn't been killed. I burst through it and scan the room, the window is broken and the curtain material, ripped and shredded, it flaps in the wind. My heart is banging against my chest with fear and worry for my sister; I love her to the very depths of my core and will protect her until the last. I desperately call out again, the emotion breaks into my voice "Mischa" I turn to leave, tears flowing down my face as I fear that she is gone. At first I thought the sobbing was my own but something else stopped me in my tracks. "Habbina", 'only Mischa calls me that'.....my tears of despair turn to tears of joy as I turn to see her crawling from underneath the bed clutching my old teddy bear. I run to her and scoop her into my arms; she hangs onto me so tightly that it almost hurts my ribs. I feel her trembling... I try to calm and soothe her as I walk down the back stairs so that I can hide us both in the woods until darkness falls and we can get away from here. At the moment I do not know how I will do this, but I must do as Papa said and get us both to safety, far away from here. She has buried her head in my shoulder, I am thankful for this as we pass the mutilated bodies of the servants that I do not want to see myself let alone have my 3 year old sister see. Her grip on me is tremendous and I will not let go of her....she is all that I have left now.
We arrive at the back door leading out onto the lawns of the estate, they are covered in snow and the sky is dark with more yet to fall. In front of us is the huge extravagant fountain, the cold weather has frozen the water in the pool. To our right stretches the patio that leads into a terrace as the rolling lawn slopes away down the hill. Momma and Papa have dined and danced upon the terrace many times under the full moon, they've also held many garden parties and entertained important people at our estate. The forest to our left is where we will run and find a place to hide in, it is no longer the magnificent rich and tall mass of trees it once was, the fighting has seen fit to that, the trees are destroyed and craters fill the ground where mortar shells that have landed. Mischa and I are not safe if we run and we are not safe if we stay here. I once again remind myself that Papa's wishes must be obeyed.....we must run. I put Mischa down, she is reluctant to let go of me and begins to sob now that I no longer hold her, I kneel down to look into her beautiful blue eyes. The shed tears have caused her hair to stick to her cheeks; I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe her face clean. Our parents never kept anything from us, they told us the truth and installed it upon us both that we must do the same. Maintaining eye contact I tell her that we must leave, that our Momma and Papa have been killed and that she must be quiet.....that Papa said we must seek safety away from here. It's a lot for a 3 year old to understand, but I see from her eyes she will do as Papa wished, that she will do as I ask her. I promise her I will not leave; I will protect and look after her...that I will get us both away from here.
I open the door and scan the surroundings, I turn to Mischa and motion for her to be quiet, she copies me and puts her finger to her lips, I smile at her and nod reassuringly. Once again I pick her up and she locks herself around my body, I notice a blanket lying on a work top next to me, I take it and wrap it around her small body to save her freezing to death. I once again scan the surrounding areas, taking a deep breath I step outside into the snow and begin to run as fast as I can towards the trees.
They're getting nearer to us, I can see the remnants of the forest approaching, I'm running as fast as I can, I will not let Mischa go; I have to make it to the trees. I feel her head rise from my shoulder and her whole body tense up, her grip becomes even tighter that I cry out with the pain, a scream escapes from Mischa's lungs and I know we're in danger, but I refuse to stop running....I must make it to the trees. Nearly there, we're nearly there.....and then nothing just complete darkness.
I wake up some time later on top of a bed of straw; it takes me a little while to get adjusted to my whereabouts. I recognise it as one of the barns used by Papa's workers. The next thought that flashes through my head is Mischa; I search for her in here amongst the other children gathered. I find her huddled in a corner; as soon as we see each other we grab a hold and won't let the other go. I still have my sister and she still has me. She will not talk for the sobs and fear wracking her tiny body; it takes me some time to coax the details out of her. She tells me a 'big nasty man' had come from behind the wall and chased us, he'd used a 'big stick' to hit me and that's when I fell unconscious to the ground. He'd picked her up and dragged me behind him to this barn where we'd been thrown in with the other children from the town. I hold her close and tell her it will be alright, I will still get us from here, I promise her again, and it's all I am able to do for the moment. I do not let go of her again until she is asleep. It is only now that I venture over to the barn door; I look through the gap and see them hacking away at some thin deer's throat. There are five, that I can see, each one dressed in long overcoats and covered in dirt, I think to myself that they have deserted their ranks and plan to sit it out here. I go back to Mischa and curl up next to her; we will keep each other warm for the moment.
The deer lasted just two days before they came in here and began to look for anyone who had frozen in the cold. Nobody had so they began to choose one child to go outside with them. Now there are only a few of us left alive in here. Mischa and I keep ourselves hidden in the shadows away from their eyes, I know who it is who hit me and stopped us from escaping, Mischa pointed him out, I silently vowed to get revenge on him. We've been in here long enough to dread the door opening, my heart jumped into my throat when he came in and walked straight over to me. He looked me square in the eye and felt to see how much flesh was on my body; he did not take me but turned his attention to Mischa. She huddled herself deeper into the corner, I grabbed her arm as he dragged her out telling her they were going "To play"; I knew those who went outside never came back. I would not let go of her, my grip was vice like, Mischa was screaming, kicking and fighting him...I was screaming at him and remained locked onto Mischa's arm, I'd promised to keep her safe and look after her. We got to the door and I was holding her for all I was worth, I only let go when the door got slammed on my upper left arm, knocking me backwards onto the cold barn floor. I heard the crack and knew it was broken, just as my heart was too.
I now no longer believe in God or the power of prayer. My beloved sister, Mischa, is gone and God did not answer my prayer, I sat on the floor sobbing and praying to him for her to come back in here alive and unharmed so that I can see her again. The prayer consumed my mind but the sound of a falling axe, ending her life, broke through it, the scream that escaped me was piercing and feral.
My broken arm hurts me as I move it, but it does not even compare to the pain present in my heart and ransacking my body. My prayer was partially answered earlier when I saw some of Mischa's teeth in that stinking stool pit they use. Two days have passed since she was taken away, I've had two days to plan my revenge and escape. I look out of the door gap and see only one deserter present; the others have either perished from the cold or have gone to look for something. I feel for my ever present penknife, Papa gave me it and showed me a way of hiding it up my sleeve without ever anyone knowing it is there. He also schooled me in the easiest way to kill a deer with a knife; it is this knowledge that will aid my escape. I shall lie down by the door and pretend to be dead, I can only hope that when he comes in to get one of us he takes me and no other deserter is waiting, out of view, in the dirty blood stained snow covered camp they have made here on my family's land. This is my only opportunity to escape, I couldn't save my sister and protect her, that's something I will not easily forget, the pain, anguish and guilt I feel will follow me throughout my life. I place myself by the door and wait for him to come in.
I am now outside of the barn, the man who'd chased us and killed Mischa now has me over his shoulder. My body is limp and I'm playing dead. He places me on the same tree stump the others met their fate upon; it is bloodstained and marked by the axe. My eyes are open and I stare straight ahead of me, the axe is placed the opposite side of me as he is standing. He leans over to retrieve it; at the same time I grab the opportunity to begin my escape. The knife falls into my right hand, I deftly and silently strike out, plunging the blade into his jugular, his blood splattering over my own face, I pull down on the blade and rip his neck open. His eyes are wide open in alarm and his hand desperately clutches at the wound to stop the flow of blood, he stumbles backwards and falls into the stool pit where he remains until after death takes him.
I get up off the block and wipe the blade clean, I open the barn door and stand there, bloodstained, looking at the other children, they will not move, they're too scared to do so and remain where they are. I am not content to stay, I once again remember Papa telling me to run, and I do so. This time I make it to the trees, for the moment I have to concentrate on getting myself away from here, I do not know where I am going but I can't stay here. Mischa is with me in my heart, when the time comes that I find her replacement I will bring her back and protect her as I promised her I would. Until then I am completely alone in this world, my childhood is at an end.
A/N – Takes place during Hannibal's childhood and is from his POV. It was inspired by his memory recollection, during the flight back to the US (Hannibal, chapter 48) As much as I wanted to have Hannibal and his family speaking in their native Lithuanian tongue, this was not possible as I couldn't get a translation.....so you'll have to imagine them as doing so instead.
_____________________________________________________________________
Childhood's End
For the first time in my short life I know I am completely alone. The war that has ravaged the world and my home of Vilnius, Lithuania, has robbed me of my family and a childhood I will not come to know.
My parents are lying dead in the ruins of our once splendid and magnificent estate house, untouched and unmoving in the places that they died. I tried so hard to get them out, to help save them. I think my mother was killed instantly by a bullet fired from one of the deserter's guns, she did not respond to me when I looked into her eyes and called "Momma". I turned to see my father, he was on his back, and a gaping wound sucked in his chest with each ragged breath he took. I summoned all the strength in my 6 year old body to pull him out of the building with me; he weighed so much though, I couldn't budge him. Tears were falling down my face as I pulled his arm and begged "Papa, help me please....you have to help me" he was coughing up blood as he tried to speak to me, his final words still echo in my ears 'Go Hannibal...take Mischa and run, look after her". His eyes glazed over and his grasp fell from mine as the final breath left his body and dissolved into the atmosphere. It took a few minutes for those words to sink in, such was my loss. I snapped out of my trance and shouted for the one person I had to find "MISCHA"
I ran through the bullet ridden halls towards her room, all the time calling out to her "Mischa.....Mischa, where are you?!" I reach her door, seeing the bullet holes in it, hoping with all that's left inside of me, she hasn't been killed. I burst through it and scan the room, the window is broken and the curtain material, ripped and shredded, it flaps in the wind. My heart is banging against my chest with fear and worry for my sister; I love her to the very depths of my core and will protect her until the last. I desperately call out again, the emotion breaks into my voice "Mischa" I turn to leave, tears flowing down my face as I fear that she is gone. At first I thought the sobbing was my own but something else stopped me in my tracks. "Habbina", 'only Mischa calls me that'.....my tears of despair turn to tears of joy as I turn to see her crawling from underneath the bed clutching my old teddy bear. I run to her and scoop her into my arms; she hangs onto me so tightly that it almost hurts my ribs. I feel her trembling... I try to calm and soothe her as I walk down the back stairs so that I can hide us both in the woods until darkness falls and we can get away from here. At the moment I do not know how I will do this, but I must do as Papa said and get us both to safety, far away from here. She has buried her head in my shoulder, I am thankful for this as we pass the mutilated bodies of the servants that I do not want to see myself let alone have my 3 year old sister see. Her grip on me is tremendous and I will not let go of her....she is all that I have left now.
We arrive at the back door leading out onto the lawns of the estate, they are covered in snow and the sky is dark with more yet to fall. In front of us is the huge extravagant fountain, the cold weather has frozen the water in the pool. To our right stretches the patio that leads into a terrace as the rolling lawn slopes away down the hill. Momma and Papa have dined and danced upon the terrace many times under the full moon, they've also held many garden parties and entertained important people at our estate. The forest to our left is where we will run and find a place to hide in, it is no longer the magnificent rich and tall mass of trees it once was, the fighting has seen fit to that, the trees are destroyed and craters fill the ground where mortar shells that have landed. Mischa and I are not safe if we run and we are not safe if we stay here. I once again remind myself that Papa's wishes must be obeyed.....we must run. I put Mischa down, she is reluctant to let go of me and begins to sob now that I no longer hold her, I kneel down to look into her beautiful blue eyes. The shed tears have caused her hair to stick to her cheeks; I use the sleeve of my shirt to wipe her face clean. Our parents never kept anything from us, they told us the truth and installed it upon us both that we must do the same. Maintaining eye contact I tell her that we must leave, that our Momma and Papa have been killed and that she must be quiet.....that Papa said we must seek safety away from here. It's a lot for a 3 year old to understand, but I see from her eyes she will do as Papa wished, that she will do as I ask her. I promise her I will not leave; I will protect and look after her...that I will get us both away from here.
I open the door and scan the surroundings, I turn to Mischa and motion for her to be quiet, she copies me and puts her finger to her lips, I smile at her and nod reassuringly. Once again I pick her up and she locks herself around my body, I notice a blanket lying on a work top next to me, I take it and wrap it around her small body to save her freezing to death. I once again scan the surrounding areas, taking a deep breath I step outside into the snow and begin to run as fast as I can towards the trees.
They're getting nearer to us, I can see the remnants of the forest approaching, I'm running as fast as I can, I will not let Mischa go; I have to make it to the trees. I feel her head rise from my shoulder and her whole body tense up, her grip becomes even tighter that I cry out with the pain, a scream escapes from Mischa's lungs and I know we're in danger, but I refuse to stop running....I must make it to the trees. Nearly there, we're nearly there.....and then nothing just complete darkness.
I wake up some time later on top of a bed of straw; it takes me a little while to get adjusted to my whereabouts. I recognise it as one of the barns used by Papa's workers. The next thought that flashes through my head is Mischa; I search for her in here amongst the other children gathered. I find her huddled in a corner; as soon as we see each other we grab a hold and won't let the other go. I still have my sister and she still has me. She will not talk for the sobs and fear wracking her tiny body; it takes me some time to coax the details out of her. She tells me a 'big nasty man' had come from behind the wall and chased us, he'd used a 'big stick' to hit me and that's when I fell unconscious to the ground. He'd picked her up and dragged me behind him to this barn where we'd been thrown in with the other children from the town. I hold her close and tell her it will be alright, I will still get us from here, I promise her again, and it's all I am able to do for the moment. I do not let go of her again until she is asleep. It is only now that I venture over to the barn door; I look through the gap and see them hacking away at some thin deer's throat. There are five, that I can see, each one dressed in long overcoats and covered in dirt, I think to myself that they have deserted their ranks and plan to sit it out here. I go back to Mischa and curl up next to her; we will keep each other warm for the moment.
The deer lasted just two days before they came in here and began to look for anyone who had frozen in the cold. Nobody had so they began to choose one child to go outside with them. Now there are only a few of us left alive in here. Mischa and I keep ourselves hidden in the shadows away from their eyes, I know who it is who hit me and stopped us from escaping, Mischa pointed him out, I silently vowed to get revenge on him. We've been in here long enough to dread the door opening, my heart jumped into my throat when he came in and walked straight over to me. He looked me square in the eye and felt to see how much flesh was on my body; he did not take me but turned his attention to Mischa. She huddled herself deeper into the corner, I grabbed her arm as he dragged her out telling her they were going "To play"; I knew those who went outside never came back. I would not let go of her, my grip was vice like, Mischa was screaming, kicking and fighting him...I was screaming at him and remained locked onto Mischa's arm, I'd promised to keep her safe and look after her. We got to the door and I was holding her for all I was worth, I only let go when the door got slammed on my upper left arm, knocking me backwards onto the cold barn floor. I heard the crack and knew it was broken, just as my heart was too.
I now no longer believe in God or the power of prayer. My beloved sister, Mischa, is gone and God did not answer my prayer, I sat on the floor sobbing and praying to him for her to come back in here alive and unharmed so that I can see her again. The prayer consumed my mind but the sound of a falling axe, ending her life, broke through it, the scream that escaped me was piercing and feral.
My broken arm hurts me as I move it, but it does not even compare to the pain present in my heart and ransacking my body. My prayer was partially answered earlier when I saw some of Mischa's teeth in that stinking stool pit they use. Two days have passed since she was taken away, I've had two days to plan my revenge and escape. I look out of the door gap and see only one deserter present; the others have either perished from the cold or have gone to look for something. I feel for my ever present penknife, Papa gave me it and showed me a way of hiding it up my sleeve without ever anyone knowing it is there. He also schooled me in the easiest way to kill a deer with a knife; it is this knowledge that will aid my escape. I shall lie down by the door and pretend to be dead, I can only hope that when he comes in to get one of us he takes me and no other deserter is waiting, out of view, in the dirty blood stained snow covered camp they have made here on my family's land. This is my only opportunity to escape, I couldn't save my sister and protect her, that's something I will not easily forget, the pain, anguish and guilt I feel will follow me throughout my life. I place myself by the door and wait for him to come in.
I am now outside of the barn, the man who'd chased us and killed Mischa now has me over his shoulder. My body is limp and I'm playing dead. He places me on the same tree stump the others met their fate upon; it is bloodstained and marked by the axe. My eyes are open and I stare straight ahead of me, the axe is placed the opposite side of me as he is standing. He leans over to retrieve it; at the same time I grab the opportunity to begin my escape. The knife falls into my right hand, I deftly and silently strike out, plunging the blade into his jugular, his blood splattering over my own face, I pull down on the blade and rip his neck open. His eyes are wide open in alarm and his hand desperately clutches at the wound to stop the flow of blood, he stumbles backwards and falls into the stool pit where he remains until after death takes him.
I get up off the block and wipe the blade clean, I open the barn door and stand there, bloodstained, looking at the other children, they will not move, they're too scared to do so and remain where they are. I am not content to stay, I once again remember Papa telling me to run, and I do so. This time I make it to the trees, for the moment I have to concentrate on getting myself away from here, I do not know where I am going but I can't stay here. Mischa is with me in my heart, when the time comes that I find her replacement I will bring her back and protect her as I promised her I would. Until then I am completely alone in this world, my childhood is at an end.