Happy Endings
The streets of Amritsar were bustling, even busier than usual, and Mahi Ahluwalia hurriedly crossed the roads with some trepidation. She was not naïve enough to think she was lucky and would never get in an accident. There was no such thing as luck; she knew that, so she took extra caution. She reached the opposite end of the bazaar where her mother-in-law and several of her aunties were ensuring they had everything they needed to celebrate Karwa Chauth.
This would be the twelfth year Mahi had taken on vrat, a fast, for her husband's health and well-being. By now Mahi was familiar with every custom and she knew it was her duty to fulfill every single one. Perfect home, perfect children, perfect wife – that was Mrs. Mahi Ahluwalia's life.
At least, that was the life everyone saw.
Her mother-in-law gestured excitedly to her as Mahi neared and she noticed a young girl standing by her mother-in-law's side, smiling politely. Who was she?
"Mahi, beti, this young girl here tells me it's her very first Karwa Chauth. She has no one at home to teach her the traditions, so maybe you could help her, na?" Mahi's mother-in-law smiled hopefully.
"Yes, mother." Mahi replied, ever-obedient.
"Tumhara naam kya hai, beti?"
"Ji, main Taani hoon. Mujhe bas two blocks away se rehti hai, aur when I saw all of this…"
"Mention not. We must always help our own, na? Why don't you two start with the sargai, Mahi? Your aunts and I will take care of the rest. You young girls are probably tired of us old ladies by now anyway."
"No auntie, never." Taani smiled softly. "And thank you."
Mahi's mother-in-law walked away after giving Taani's cheek an affectionate pinch, leaving Mahi and Taani with an awkward silence.
"Newlywed?"
"Haan. More than two weeks now."
Mahi noticed that Taani did not beam the way most new brides did, she did not blush conspiratorially the way Mahi expected. In fact, the recollection of her wedding day added an unmistakable darkness to Taani's eyes.
Mahi remembered when she had been just the same, but with time she had been able to crush all heartbroken thoughts from her mind. Over the years she had learned how to remain empty. Adhuri.
And it was then that Mahi realized why her mother-in-law had introduced Taani to her. They were both damaged and lost. They were living the way only women knew how to.
Without dreams.
Taani had been mesmerized by the upheaval the women of Amritsar caused during Karwa Chauth until it hit her that she was one of those women now. The mehndi had faded from her hands, but its obligations still rang true. She was a wife. And she had promised that she would start acting like one.
Taani watched Mahi unwrap her mother-in-law's food and offer it to her. "Khao. There's more than enough for both of us."
Usually Taani would have been given food by her mother-in-law or even her own mother, but she was an orphan and Suri...
"Thank you." Taani said, savouring the taste of the sargai. She had long ago dreamt of this day, of savouring the feeling of protecting the one that she loved. But the one she wished to protect could no longer be saved. The very same rab that asked these rites of her had taken him away without warning or regret. All Taani could taste in her mouth was bitterness.
"What's his name?" Mahi asked with a quiet voice.
"Who?" Taani replied in shock.
Mahi gave her a bemused smile. "The man whose long life you are fasting for."
Taani blanched, realizing she had given too much of herself away. What other man should there be in her life that she should question who Mahi had been asking her about? But the only person who came to her mind again and again was her confidante, her strength, her miracle, her lost love.
Taani struggled to pull her thoughts away from her deceased fiancé and to her living husband. "Surinder Sahni, Punjab Power." Taani recited automatically. Dully. She had summed up everything she knew about her husband in four words.
Mahi sighed. "Joginder Singh Ahluwalia."
"Pardon?"
"That's the man whose long life I am fasting for." Mahi admitted.
"Oh. Of course." Taani tried her best to avoid Mahi's scrutinizing gaze. The shadow of her pain had not yet left her, it seemed like it never would, and Taani was certain that Mahi could sense it seeping from her every pore.
Taani didn't mention the fact that Mahi also seemed to want something else to be granted upon her by God.
Mahi and Taani had been assigned the job of decorating the courtyard with kharia matti while the aunties prepared for the puja. They spent a short while working in silence, listening to the faint voices of joyful wives celebrating, laughing and enjoying themselves. The way they themselves should have been. The way they would have been if things had been different. Mahi began humming to herself absent-mindedly, hoping to drown out the sounds of happiness. Taani recognized the song; it was one of her favourites.
"DDLJ, right?"
Mahi stopped humming abruptly, surprised that she had almost been singing. And of all the songs to choose…
Taani looked up at Mahi expectantly. She knew there was more to Mahi then she let on. It was clear on her face, just as it had been clear on Taani's face before. They were both hiding secrets. Maybe now was the time for them to stop hiding.
Taani nodded encouragingly.
"I used to love that movie." Mahi confessed. "To me it was the most unbelievably romantic story in the world. When I was younger, I always wanted to find my Raj." Mahi gave a little laugh. "Silly, na?"
"Nahin, not at all, Mahi. Every girl wants that."
"Leken…" The brightness died in her eyes. "Love is not really like that, Taani. There is no fairytale happy ending. Sirf ek kahani hai, ek sapna."
"Haan. Ishq mein bas dard hai." Taani agreed. "There is only pain."
Voices carried on deep into the night, ringing with a faraway happiness.
"Haan, haan ji. Just as the angrezi memsaabs say, 'can't live with him, cannot live without him.'" Mahi's mother-in-law teased girlishly as the rest of the women giggled. They glowed as they gossiped, joked and laughed, each swapping stories about their husbands. Joy, frustration, boldness and adoration all combined in a whirl of strong emotions as the puja preparations carried on.
The celebrations were infectious and even Mahi and Taani felt their moods lighten. They realized that the evening had been filled with stories of the men they were fasting for, yet neither of them had spoken a word.
"Tera pathi, your Surinder…" Mahi started. "What is he like? Dikhta kaise?"
Taani considered the question for a moment. "He is the most ordinary man you will ever meet. He could blend into any crowd, I think. Bade bade chashmah, hair parted to the side, ugly shoes with his shirt tucked in; he is shy and polite and rarely ever looks anyone in the eye."
Mahi almost grinned at the man she envisioned but decided to remain silent and allow Taani to continue.
"He's not that bad. Woh itna bura nahin…" Taani admitted. "He has treated me with so much kindness and he expects nothing in return. He may be a bit boring, but he has a good heart. Suri is a good husband."
But he wasn't the man that she loved, right? He wasn't her picture perfect ending, was he? Wasn't that what was stopping her from truly being happy, from living her life to the fullest?
"Suri?" Mahi noted, breaking through the obvious tension. "Is that his nickname?"
"Yes, it is." Taani replied, her eyes wide. "Cute name, na?" She covered her mouth in amusement and laughed nervously.
Mahi laughed along with Taani, but her mind was elsewhere. She remembered a time, 15 years ago, when she had stumbled into a similar mild-mannered and kind-hearted man. She had foolishly dropped her coin purse while buying chaat with her friend and had run into him in her search to retrieve it. He had sheepishly handed it over to her, explaining that he had found it on the ground moments earlier.
Mahi still wondered if Joginder recalled their first meeting. Why had she never asked him?
"I should be getting home. He is probably wondering…"
"Surinder doesn't know that you are here, does he?"
"I –" Taani flushed. "Thank you for everything, Mahi." She mumbled. "Thank your mother-in-law as well, please, on my behalf."
"You should tell him, Taani."
Taani nodded silently before leaving behind the busy preparations. She imagined the shy 'shukriya' Surinder was sure to give her when she explained where she had been and what she had been doing, for him. Whether she realized it or not, the thought brought a smile to Taani's face.
And Mahi watched her go.
"Mahi, beti, come quickly. The moon will be up soon and the men have arrived." Mahi's mother-in-law called out to her.
Mahi turned to make her way towards her family and walked straight into something tall, warm and very solid. Joginder.
"Oh." Was all that she could manage.
"Are you alright?" Joginder quirked an eyebrow at her. "What is it, Mahi? Kya hua?"
"Mahi, the moon! Come, come!" A voice rang out impatiently. "Bring Joginder with you."
Mahi blushed and lowered her voice. "I will tell you some other time, okay?"
"Okay."
Suddenly Mahi sees it. It hits her from out of the blue. She sees the devotion and adoration in his eyes and it hits her deep in her soul. It hurts. She is afraid and she is shattered because she never realized that this is what she had wanted all along. This look.
But Joginder still turns away.
It is time for her to finally turn him back and make him see. She won't let love get the best of her this time. She has waited too long.
And then the music starts playing…
The beat of the music is pounding under her feet. The stage is lit up and each step comes to her automatically. She dances as if it is the easiest thing in the world, but she has no idea how she continues on while her heart is on fire.
He dances with a passion even Raj never had. Because he is not Raj. Not at all. Raj does not exist anymore, washed away in the rain along with her almost-mistake.
All she can think is that she doesn't deserve him, has never deserved him, could never deserve him.
And that rab works in mysterious ways.
Taani has never been more in love.
It was over a year later when Mahi saw Taani again. The girl with sad eyes and a broken smile had long ago faded from her memories. Her life was filled with too much happiness, too much excitement, too much love. Yet, as Amritsar burst to life once more, this time as the Diwali festivities erupted in every neighbourhood and celebrations were in full swing, she spotted the person she had all but forgotten.
But Mahi hesitated to approach her. She noticed that Taani was arm in arm with a man. An older man who was smiling, laughing, even flirting. He had an inner confidence that Mahi immediately admired. This could not possibly be her husband, the buttoned-down Surinder Sahni. So who was Taani with?
Joginder stepped up behind her. "I left the boys with your parents. I told them not to spoil them anymore with all of these gifts but…" He looked at Mahi in confusion. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing. Why don't we go now?" Mahi asked hurriedly, in a panic. She wasn't sure she would be able to deal with…but it was too late. Taani had spotted her and was headed her way with a brilliant smile affixed on her face.
"Mahi Ahluwalia? Is that really you?"
"Hello Taani."
"Suri, this is the girl that helped me out during my first Karwa Chauth. Remember I told you about her?" Taani explained.
Mahi's eyes widened in shock. "You are Surinder?"
"Haan ji." Surinder blushed slightly, looking at Taani for assurance before taking Mahi's hand in his own. "Very nice to meet you."
"I can't believe it." Mahi admitted. "Jogi, this is Taani and Surinder Sahni. They live a few blocks away, here in Amritsar."
"Jogi?" Taani asked mischievously. "So your husband has a silly nickname too, then?" Mahi giggled and wrapped her arm around her Joginder.
"It's not silly, it's cute."
"These wives will embarrass us the longer we stay here." Joginder said good-naturedly. "Surinder, shall we leave them be and let them catch up? My sons would love to meet you, I am sure."
"I love children. Chalo." Surinder smiled back at Joginder warmly and they were off, leaving their wives to speak in private.
"You are happy, aren't you, Taani? With Surinder ji?" Mahi asked, already sure of the answer.
"Very. Aur tum?"
"Mera sapna poora hoga." Mahi looked on after her husband wistfully. "I found my Raj."
Taani laughed a little at this, thinking back to the twists and turns that had led her to this happy moment in her life. "So did I…"
Mahi watched Taani thoughtfully.
"I'm sure he is happy now too, seeing you and your new life, Taani."
"Who?"
She smiled at Taani's absent-minded curiosity.
"The man whose heart found yours before your heart found its love."
Taani could not help but agree.
In the past few months Mahi had been slowly learning to believe in luck again and she was certain of one thing: both she and Taani were extremely lucky.
Written for my challenge at 7virtues, where Chastity was my prompt. In terms of a timeline, Karwa Chauth happens in early October and Holi happens in March, so we are going to assume that the song Haule Haule spanned the time between those two festivals, alright? :) Feedback is much appreciated!