The Magic of History
When you were little you came up to me one day and asked me why I
loved history so much and why I keep all those books in the basement. You
were upset because I had to work with those books instead of spending
time with you.
I suppose my fascination with old historical things is the fact that I have no
past. At first I thought this was normal, but now that I think about it more and
more, a person should remember things when they were small. The sound
of a mother's laugh, a toy, a memory?
I have none which is why I fill my life with old things, rare things, strange
things, because in the end, I think... I think I relate well to them.
Perhaps I'm bold to say that old things, especially strange things seem to
have old souls. Maybe that's a bit of the fascination talking. But they all have
a story, every crack, fade, tear, and stain. They all tell me about the item that
normal people would disregard. They tell me their story.
Maybe because they feel that since I have none they tell me theirs, I in turn
tell the world through research and all is well.
I don't remember much of my childhood, except that I spent it well in the
comfort of a home of an uncle. He was never around and I comforted myself
knowing how to get to the library, to the dinning room, and to my own room.
Books became my family and I found answers to my problems in their well
worn pages, letting them tell me their stories and I would read on.
Most of my teachers in school would say that I was a even tempered
student that never caused a problem. However, while it seemed as though I
won over the teachers where ever I went, I never had a real friend. None that
I could remember. I would have lots of classmates but no real friend.
I didn't mind much, it freed up time to return to books and unlock their
mysteries.
But the interesting part of my life began in my second year of my masters
course. As required by the history department, I did some student teaching
at a local high school. If you recall that was also the day a angel, not unlike
a little grey bird, fell out of the sky right into my lap.
I looked into her eyes and for the first time in my life I felt something, no,
someone. No... for the first time I wanted to know someone else's story.
Of course at the time, I was very solitary. You may not think it now, but
back then I had no idea what to say to her except smile and say, "I think
you're an angel because you fell from the sky." The shock of someone so
beautiful looking at me was overwhelming.
After that day, things changed. I noticed people around me, students
talking to each other glancing at each other. I noticed the flow of life, people
forming friendships, relationships starting, evolving.
Books no longer gave me answers I wanted. Not the kind of answers that
required looking into a pair of grey eyes.
How I managed to talk to her was a miracle. She would smile at me and
come close to talk to me. Even though I was older than her by at least five
years, I felt the same as the freshmen boys blushing in front of her.
I later found out that she was a model which explained the entourage of
boys around her. If it weren't for Sonomi-kun I would have lost hope.
Sonomi-kun warned all the men away. Which gave no person a chance to
talk to her.
Looking back I think she was very nervous around me, but she would
always find me. Why she would like a bookish, solitary man like me I would
never understand.
"Kinomoto-sensei!"
I turned and felt my heart beat, Nadeshiko-kun was running towards me
while Sonomi stayed behind with a frown. Her eyes were bright and her hair
trailed behind her like a shiny silky cape. "Nadeshiko-kun." I said with a bow.
She smiled and dropped her pace so she could walk next to me, "What
will you teach your class today?"
"European history." I said. "About the crusades and their obsession with
finding religious relics." I didn't want to say any more for fear that I may bore
her.
She smiled instead, "How fascinating!" she exclaimed clapping her hands,
"I wish I had you as my teacher."
"Hatoko-sensei is a very good teacher." I said.
She turned her gaze to the road in front of us as she held her hands behind
her back, her school bag flapping behind her, "Yes he is." she said, "But...
he doesn't inspire me to learn history like you do." she looked at me, "The
way you talk about it, its as if you really care." she smiled a bit more.
I remembered thinking at that moment how I would always remember that
smile. My purpose in life was to see that smile as much as I could for as
long as I lived.
"Nadeshiko-chan!" Sonomi-kun called, "Wrong direction!"
Nadeshiko turned, "Haiii~!" she called as she tripped over her feet.
My arm immediately reached out and caught her, "Are you all right?"
She nodded her eyes wide. She bowed and then turned to Sonomi-kun as
she said, "Thank you."
I watched as her long dark hair flew after her like a silky banner.
Had I remembered, had I known then... I shouldn't say things like that,
hindsight is 20/20 they say. Now that I look back... I think she was blushing.
If I had noticed, I would have asked her to tea like the many men that did the
same, but then again, if I did that she would have never come to me...
"Nadeshiko-kun." I said surprised. She was leaning against the pillar of
the school wall near the gate. I had to stay back and finish some work
before going home. The days were getting warmer as if the world was ready
to shake off its winter coat. The sun peeked through the clouds as it set.
"Kinomoto-sensei." she said softly with that heart stopping smile.
"You stayed after school too?"
She looked away, "You could say..." she said letting her voice trail off into
the wind.
I smiled, "I'm walking home, shall I walk you home?"
She looked up at me, her eyes bright, "Yes!" she said.
The walk to her home was mostly silent, until we reached her home which
was really the gate to her home. She turned to me and said softly, so softly
that I nearly missed hearing her say the words, "Do you believe in magic?"
I smiled again and said, "Some say that magic existed."
"What do you think?" she asked.
"I think it can exist." I replied. "And you?"
"I think..." she said softly, "I think so," she looked at her hands, "because I
met you."
I stopped.
She looked up at me. Her eyes wide and bright. All I could do was look
back at her.
And a moment later she blinked and ran past the gate to her home.
Needless to say... I had no words that could express my shock. I just stood
there staring at her gate for a good five minutes, processing over and over
again the words she said to me. And something said inside me, /magic
does exist.../
And that night I agreed.
A week later the sakura trees blossomed, and the school held a festival
welcoming spring. It was the annual sakura festival. Nadeshiko-kun was no
where to be seen. I had come to miss her morning walks to school and
seeing her face at my door.
I found her standing in the center of a grove of sakura trees. I stood at the
edge of the clearing watching her smile. She looked so happy fingering the
petals that fell into her hands.
That day...
... under the sakura trees ...
She saw me and blushed. She quickly bowed and turned to walk away
until I said as strongly as I could, "If angels exist... magic must exist."
The rest, Sakura, is what you know... your okaa-san and I married after she
graduated. Her family was not very pleased that she had quit her modeling
career and started a life of motherhood. But as soon as they saw how happy
she was they let her pursue her life as a married woman. Sonomi-kun never
forgave me for marrying your mother but she eventually found peace with her
feelings.
Your mother once said to me that the day she fell out of the tree was the
happiest day of her life, because the moment she saw me she knew what
she wanted to do with the rest of her life.
I keep her pictures around the house to remind me of how magical life can
be and as I watched you grow up I saw the same smile and happy look she
used to have. I wish I could see her now and talk to her. I'd tell her how
beautiful you're growing up to be. Even if I didn't have the chance to see her
again, all I have to do is look at you.
When you were born the sakura trees were about to bloom, and she
looked down at you and said softly, "You are the happiness in my life." she
said the same when Touya was born too.
I could not agree more. Because that day I realized that it wasn't learning
about my past or her past or learning about history. It was about making my
own memories and my own history.
Which is why I write this letter to you now, so you can understand how
important you are to me and how much I will miss you when you leave this
home and start yours with whoever it is that you choose to live your life with.
Because with out a doubt, I'm sure, it is as magical as mine.
Kinomoto Fujitaka - 199X
When you were little you came up to me one day and asked me why I
loved history so much and why I keep all those books in the basement. You
were upset because I had to work with those books instead of spending
time with you.
I suppose my fascination with old historical things is the fact that I have no
past. At first I thought this was normal, but now that I think about it more and
more, a person should remember things when they were small. The sound
of a mother's laugh, a toy, a memory?
I have none which is why I fill my life with old things, rare things, strange
things, because in the end, I think... I think I relate well to them.
Perhaps I'm bold to say that old things, especially strange things seem to
have old souls. Maybe that's a bit of the fascination talking. But they all have
a story, every crack, fade, tear, and stain. They all tell me about the item that
normal people would disregard. They tell me their story.
Maybe because they feel that since I have none they tell me theirs, I in turn
tell the world through research and all is well.
I don't remember much of my childhood, except that I spent it well in the
comfort of a home of an uncle. He was never around and I comforted myself
knowing how to get to the library, to the dinning room, and to my own room.
Books became my family and I found answers to my problems in their well
worn pages, letting them tell me their stories and I would read on.
Most of my teachers in school would say that I was a even tempered
student that never caused a problem. However, while it seemed as though I
won over the teachers where ever I went, I never had a real friend. None that
I could remember. I would have lots of classmates but no real friend.
I didn't mind much, it freed up time to return to books and unlock their
mysteries.
But the interesting part of my life began in my second year of my masters
course. As required by the history department, I did some student teaching
at a local high school. If you recall that was also the day a angel, not unlike
a little grey bird, fell out of the sky right into my lap.
I looked into her eyes and for the first time in my life I felt something, no,
someone. No... for the first time I wanted to know someone else's story.
Of course at the time, I was very solitary. You may not think it now, but
back then I had no idea what to say to her except smile and say, "I think
you're an angel because you fell from the sky." The shock of someone so
beautiful looking at me was overwhelming.
After that day, things changed. I noticed people around me, students
talking to each other glancing at each other. I noticed the flow of life, people
forming friendships, relationships starting, evolving.
Books no longer gave me answers I wanted. Not the kind of answers that
required looking into a pair of grey eyes.
How I managed to talk to her was a miracle. She would smile at me and
come close to talk to me. Even though I was older than her by at least five
years, I felt the same as the freshmen boys blushing in front of her.
I later found out that she was a model which explained the entourage of
boys around her. If it weren't for Sonomi-kun I would have lost hope.
Sonomi-kun warned all the men away. Which gave no person a chance to
talk to her.
Looking back I think she was very nervous around me, but she would
always find me. Why she would like a bookish, solitary man like me I would
never understand.
"Kinomoto-sensei!"
I turned and felt my heart beat, Nadeshiko-kun was running towards me
while Sonomi stayed behind with a frown. Her eyes were bright and her hair
trailed behind her like a shiny silky cape. "Nadeshiko-kun." I said with a bow.
She smiled and dropped her pace so she could walk next to me, "What
will you teach your class today?"
"European history." I said. "About the crusades and their obsession with
finding religious relics." I didn't want to say any more for fear that I may bore
her.
She smiled instead, "How fascinating!" she exclaimed clapping her hands,
"I wish I had you as my teacher."
"Hatoko-sensei is a very good teacher." I said.
She turned her gaze to the road in front of us as she held her hands behind
her back, her school bag flapping behind her, "Yes he is." she said, "But...
he doesn't inspire me to learn history like you do." she looked at me, "The
way you talk about it, its as if you really care." she smiled a bit more.
I remembered thinking at that moment how I would always remember that
smile. My purpose in life was to see that smile as much as I could for as
long as I lived.
"Nadeshiko-chan!" Sonomi-kun called, "Wrong direction!"
Nadeshiko turned, "Haiii~!" she called as she tripped over her feet.
My arm immediately reached out and caught her, "Are you all right?"
She nodded her eyes wide. She bowed and then turned to Sonomi-kun as
she said, "Thank you."
I watched as her long dark hair flew after her like a silky banner.
Had I remembered, had I known then... I shouldn't say things like that,
hindsight is 20/20 they say. Now that I look back... I think she was blushing.
If I had noticed, I would have asked her to tea like the many men that did the
same, but then again, if I did that she would have never come to me...
"Nadeshiko-kun." I said surprised. She was leaning against the pillar of
the school wall near the gate. I had to stay back and finish some work
before going home. The days were getting warmer as if the world was ready
to shake off its winter coat. The sun peeked through the clouds as it set.
"Kinomoto-sensei." she said softly with that heart stopping smile.
"You stayed after school too?"
She looked away, "You could say..." she said letting her voice trail off into
the wind.
I smiled, "I'm walking home, shall I walk you home?"
She looked up at me, her eyes bright, "Yes!" she said.
The walk to her home was mostly silent, until we reached her home which
was really the gate to her home. She turned to me and said softly, so softly
that I nearly missed hearing her say the words, "Do you believe in magic?"
I smiled again and said, "Some say that magic existed."
"What do you think?" she asked.
"I think it can exist." I replied. "And you?"
"I think..." she said softly, "I think so," she looked at her hands, "because I
met you."
I stopped.
She looked up at me. Her eyes wide and bright. All I could do was look
back at her.
And a moment later she blinked and ran past the gate to her home.
Needless to say... I had no words that could express my shock. I just stood
there staring at her gate for a good five minutes, processing over and over
again the words she said to me. And something said inside me, /magic
does exist.../
And that night I agreed.
A week later the sakura trees blossomed, and the school held a festival
welcoming spring. It was the annual sakura festival. Nadeshiko-kun was no
where to be seen. I had come to miss her morning walks to school and
seeing her face at my door.
I found her standing in the center of a grove of sakura trees. I stood at the
edge of the clearing watching her smile. She looked so happy fingering the
petals that fell into her hands.
That day...
... under the sakura trees ...
She saw me and blushed. She quickly bowed and turned to walk away
until I said as strongly as I could, "If angels exist... magic must exist."
The rest, Sakura, is what you know... your okaa-san and I married after she
graduated. Her family was not very pleased that she had quit her modeling
career and started a life of motherhood. But as soon as they saw how happy
she was they let her pursue her life as a married woman. Sonomi-kun never
forgave me for marrying your mother but she eventually found peace with her
feelings.
Your mother once said to me that the day she fell out of the tree was the
happiest day of her life, because the moment she saw me she knew what
she wanted to do with the rest of her life.
I keep her pictures around the house to remind me of how magical life can
be and as I watched you grow up I saw the same smile and happy look she
used to have. I wish I could see her now and talk to her. I'd tell her how
beautiful you're growing up to be. Even if I didn't have the chance to see her
again, all I have to do is look at you.
When you were born the sakura trees were about to bloom, and she
looked down at you and said softly, "You are the happiness in my life." she
said the same when Touya was born too.
I could not agree more. Because that day I realized that it wasn't learning
about my past or her past or learning about history. It was about making my
own memories and my own history.
Which is why I write this letter to you now, so you can understand how
important you are to me and how much I will miss you when you leave this
home and start yours with whoever it is that you choose to live your life with.
Because with out a doubt, I'm sure, it is as magical as mine.
Kinomoto Fujitaka - 199X