This is purely just a joke. Not serious. I like the Twilight books.
So if you don't have a sense of humour, don't read it..
Bella: Like, OhMyGod Edward. Stop being such a a fairy and bite me.
Edward: Have a shower first. Seriously, you STINK of fish. Close your legs.
Bella: Virgin!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Jacob Black Has Signed On. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bella: Hey, What up dooog?
Jacob: For the last time, I'm not a dog!
Bella: You still got fleas.
Jacob: Yeah, well you got crabs.
Bella: JACOB!
Edward: How did you get crabs?
Bella: ...
Jacob: Ask your dad.
Edward: WTF?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Alice Cullen Has Signed On. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Alice: I foresee I terrible danger!
Jacob: Oh yay. The gypsy is on.
Alice: The danger is coming!
Bella: What is it Alice?
Alice: Your period! In 3...2...1!
Edward: Oh yum.
Bella: You are not sniffing my tampons again, Edward!
Edward: Why do you never care about my feelings? I have feelings too!
Jacob: Seems like Edward is on his period too...
Edward: SCREW YOU.
Bella: YES PLEASE!
Jacob: I'll shag you Bella. I'm man enough.
Edward: You know what...I don't have to take this. I'm going to the write in my diary.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Edward Cullen Has Signed Off. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jacob: What a pussy.
Bella: Bitch won't bite me or sleep with me. Way to sensitive.
Alice: You will become a vampire! I shall bite you myself.
Jacob: Will you sleep with her too?
Alice: Totally.
Bella: ...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Charlie Swan Has Signed On. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Bella: Dad, piss off. -_-
Charlie: Oh. It's a chat room. This, um, wasn't the website I was looking for.
Alice: Don't worry Charlie, I see you finding it. But you need more tissues for what you plan on doing.
Bella: OMFG.
Charlie: I STILL HAVE NEEDS, BELLA.
Jacob: I can come round again.
Bella: SEX MONSTERS.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Bella Swan Has Signed Off. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Charlie: I, uh, better go.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Charlie Swan Has Signed Off. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jacob: So Alice...Wanna get freaky?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Alice Cullen Has Signed Off. - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Jacob: Damn. Another night alone. Better change into a wolf and hump Leah.
JUST FOR FUN. Tell Me What You Think? What Another Chapter? COME ON. Tell Me!