Comments: Very angsty....sorry got a cold and in the mood for a bit of angst! Its a different format to my normal stories so hopefully its ok.
The corridor
As if my dreams have wandered into reality, I see you and as you glide towards me, it is not as a servant, but with grace and a nobility that your title does not show. The corridor feels too long, but I take every moment just to lay my eyes upon yours, just to feel your sunlight warm my soul, you are the air that I breathe, the reason to live....you are my heart...my dear Guinevere. Words slowly drift into my ears, the company by my side is probably talking, but words no longer matter, because if only for a brief moment our paths cross and my hand brushes yours in a touch that to some would seem like a mistake, but to me it means everything.
And as I near the end of the corridor, I take one final look over my shoulder and my heart aches as you disappear from sight.
The meeting
Several days pass since she last graced his vision, although it seems like months if your heart could tell the time. He sees her and this time, he is not burdened with the presence of others, it is just them walking towards each other.
"Guinevere" my voice sings her name. She stops and curtsies which I hate, I hate it because it reminds me in one simple move the distances between us.
"My lord" she raises up to look at him and her perfect brown eyes bore into his.
"How are you?" I watch as she bites her lip and I take in every detail of her expression. A curl blocks my view and I reach out to tuck it away from her face, I realise our current location and quickly move my hand back again, leaving it in place.
"I am well thank you, and you?" Somehow during their brief chat, they had got closer together as if a invisible force draws them in.
His hand hovers near hers "I am well"
My fingers seem to find her hand which is drifting by her side and gently touch for a second and then footsteps can be heard and she moves back, her eyes now looking to the ground. She makes to leave and the words tumble out of my mouth, betrayed by my heart.
"I hate this" she stops for a second, sadness crossing her eyes and she leaves.
His heart is heavy as he walks past the ladies and noble men now wandering the corridor, oblivious to why he does not bother greeting them.
The Injury
Weeks pass since our last encounter and injury finally brings me to her. If he was honest the injury was caused by her dancing across his mind, when he should have been watching for the sword that now leaves the blood trickling down his arm.
Sir Leon, helps him to Gauis, with words of apology no longer heard. She is by his side in seconds, her hand goes to support his other side and concern washes over her face.
"Leon, you can go" his voice tainted with pain and he watches as Leon leaves and he is left in the presence of Guinevere and Gauis.
His eyes stay on hers and she takes of his armour and tunic. Gauis is talking to him, but what do words really mean to him, with her by his side.
"Arthur?" she asks and he snaps out of his dream.
"Sorry" he looks to find Gauis leaning over him with an unusual expression.
"The wound is deep my lord, we will need to stitch it urgently, I am not sure if the elixir will work in time to ease the pain...my main concern...."
Arthur stops him with a wave of his hand "Do what is necessary"
Guinevere takes his hand "Just look at me" she does need to ask, because his eyes would not venture anywhere else.
He lifts up their joint hands and brushes that damn curl away from her face. She blushes and smiles "You really must be more careful" she whispers.
Gauis pulls his skin together although he feels no pain, because his body and his soul are no longer limited to this table they are with Guinevere in thought and in feeling.
"You must really not disturb me in my training" his words soft.
She looks at him confused and he picks up their joint hands and places them on his temple.
She smiles briefly and then he can see it on her face, the look he has seen many times before, as she carefully re-builds the wall that protects her heart. "Don't" I say and rub her hand with my fingers.
She looks away and a slight tug of her hand pulls her vision back to his.
Gauis words break him out of his trance "That should hold, how do you feel?"
Arthur turns to inspect his new injury, his hand does not leave hers. "Great" he lies, it is not the injury that causes him pain, it is the delicate hand that he holds in his.
Gauis looks between them and the joined hand "I better fetch some more cloth.....my lord" he bows and exits.
They sit there amongst all the potions and blood, their hands joined together and he feels like shouting in frustration.
"I am sorry...." he starts as he looks at her, her eyes full of tears. He wants to apologise, for everything, for being a prince, for not standing up to his father, for the injury that now causes her concern and for the fact that he cannot let go of her hand.
"Please don't " she asks, she wants to take her hand back, to get on with cleaning anything to take her mind of him. But he holds it so tight, as if he let it go he would drown.
A silence passes between them and the footsteps coming towards the door force him to let go of her hand and his father steps in.
"Arthur" he rushes towards him practically pushing her out of the way.
"Father" he crosses his arms and Guinevere does not miss the distain in the way the words role of his lips as she leaves them alone.
The Enemy from Within
As he sits in the council meeting, he watches his father speak...his teeth grinding as if every word he speaks offends him. He wants to leap over the table and run his sword through him, he looks down in shame at his words.
The meeting finished hours before and Merlin finds him still sitting on the large wooden table...thoughts good and bad crossing his mind.
"Arthur!" he repeated for the third time. He reached out and tapped him on the arm, causing him to turn.
"Merlin?" he looked around and noticed everyone was gone.
"The council meeting finished three hours ago, I have been looking for you everywhere" Arthur stood up.
"It's Gwen isn't it?" he speaks quietly as he follows Arthur into his chambers.
"When is it not?" too tired to hide the truth, he takes off his boots and slumps on his bed.
Merlin hates the pain that this love causes his friends. "Why don't you go and see her?"
"What is the point?" he closes his eyes trying to drown out the beating of his heart.
"The point is, that you love each other"
Arthur groaned and covered his face with a pillow.
"Go away Merlin" he shouted as Merlin tried to pull the pillow from his face.
An understanding
Merlin placed his dinner on his table, Arthur had taken to eating in his chambers most days now...hiding himself from his father and the obvious thoughts that ran through his mind.
He watched as he rolled the food around his plate. "Do you not like it?" he had made his favourite dinner.
"Not hungry" the truth is food didn't taste good at the moment, nothing seemed to.
A light knock at the door and Merlin went to open it with a big grin on his face. He had talked to Gwen a lot about feelings both the Prince's and hers and he had asked her to come and see him.
"Gwen...thank you" he whispered the last part.
The moment he saw her he stood up a smile forming "Guinevere"
"Arthur" she turned to hear the door shut as Merlin left them alone.
"Finally come round to calling me Arthur" he tried to act light hearted his sombre mood from before long gone.
She laughed "Still calling me Guinevere, not Gwen?"
"Guinevere is your name?" he closed the gap between them.
"Yes but you are the only one who does not call me Gwen"
"Even better" he got closer to her.
"How is your arm?" her hand reached up to touch it.
"Better"
She looked at his table full of food "I have disturbed you, I should leave"
"NO...I mean please stay....I have finished"
She placed her hands together and looked at her feet. Merlin's chat with her played on her mind and the Prince's sadness mirrored her own. She needed to find some middle ground to not go along pretending the feelings in her heart did not exist.
"I have some things to say"....she dared to look up to his eyes and concern washed over them.
"Of course...would you like to sit?" he didn't wait for the answer he led her towards two chairs by the fire.
They sat in silence for a moment, the crackling fire and the beating of their hearts being the only noise.
"Speaking about what is in my heart is difficult for me" she didn't dare look at him, in case his perfect blue eyes stole her voice from her.
"I seem to suffer from the same affliction" A million times he thought to tell her he loved her, but words failed him.
"I um.... I just wanted to say that...." he words faltered and he reached out and touched her hand causing her to look at him, her breath temporarily stopped and her mouth opened as his breath tickled her lips, how did he get this close?
He was trying to give her support, to ease the passage for her words to flow...but his close proximity made her mind blank and her lips yearn to meet his. She leaned forward and crossed the final obstacle between them and pressed her lips to his.
It started out in a simple kiss, like the two shared before and then entered into something different as they both leaned over too far and fell onto the floor their lips never leaving eachother. Her tongue entered his mouth and traced its every inch, his did the same. They kissed until needs finally pulled them apart, he rested his head on hers and heavy breathing consumed the air.
"Guinevere" he spoke first and then the fire lit inside her again and she captured his lips with such force that he fell backwoods onto the hard floor, she tried to pull back to apologise but his hand around the back of her head and mouth would not allow that, so she relaxed back into it.
The fire had started to die as they finally pulled apart and she laid her head on his chest listening to his beating heart. "I know common sense should tell me otherwise, but my heart seems to have lost all reason...I love you Arthur and I cannot bare this distance between us" She felt naked as all her feelings lay on the table.
Arthur closed his eyes as if he had dreamt those words "I love you my Guinevere"
A single tear fell down her cheek and onto his tunic, how can something so perfect be so wrong in the eyes of many? He used his hand to lift her chin up to look at him, her perfect features now stained with a tear, he wiped it from her face and kissed her lips.
When Merlin entered with breakfast he found Arthur looking out of the window and between his arms he found Guinevere.
"Good Morning Merlin" he spoke not bothering to turn to look at him.
Gwen tried to wriggle from his arms, to make the appropriate distance but he would not allow it, instead he placed a kiss on her head. "Hello Merlin"
"I see today is a much brighter day" he smiled as he laid their breakfast down.
"Much" they both said at the same time. A commitment had been made that night, that she would wait for him, but in the meantime they would allow themselves more moments like this together to make the journey easier.