Disclaimer: I do not own FairyTail or its characters. Fairy tail belongs to Hiro Mashima
AN: This one-shot was inspired by the song Broken Wings by Nikki Flores. I found it a pretty heartwrenching song so why not have a sad story to go with it, right? This takes place in the Canonverse, after the banishment of Pantherlily in the Edolas Arc. (episode 90: The Boy Back Then)
Guide:
Past
Present
'Thoughts'
Lyrics
Broken Wings
In the blink of an eye
All I believed became a lie
Her breath caught in her throat as her heels clicked loudly against the marble floors. The eyes she passed stared into her soul only beckoned her to increase her pace, she couldn't allow them to see her in such a state. She knew she had to get away, away from this terrible reality.
This couldn't be happening. This had to be a dream, no, a nightmare, a horrible, dreadful nightmare. She would wake up any second now, she had to.
Her breath labored as she ran with all her might the acceleration of her heart pounding against her chest in a timorous anxiety. She had almost fallen over her extravagant gowns that engulfed her small body more than once but even that didn't influence her to decrease her speed.
'Please let this not be real, this can't be happening,' Her thoughts pleaded.
Her chambers were ahead. She opened and slammed the doors in one swift movement not caring if the whole castle heard the echo it produced.
Shagotte forcefully stripped the garments off only leaving her in her fuchsia tank top and puffy silk lavender pants.
Her breathing still heavy she stumbled backward into the chamber doors. With her fists pressed against her chest, she slid down to the floor trying to stomach the decision she had just made, a decision she will forever regret.
With shaky paws, she slowly reached for her golden crown lowering it to her lap.
She could see her reflection through the large turquoise jewel that lavished the center. This crown was a symbol of her authority, her position, her standing, but as she looked at it now, all she saw was a dull jewel, something she was not worthy of having or should have every had from the start.
Her paws tightly gripped the brim, her emotions started to reach its peak.
"No..." She whispered harshly.
Shagotte crawled to her feet slowly walking to a full-length mirror that decorated her room wall. She clenched her teeth and squeezed her eyes shut not able to hold back her tears disgusted at the image that looked back at her. Her body started to tremble uncontrollably as she grasped the crown roughly in her tightened fists.
"NO!"
She hurdled the crown with excessive force at the glass. Hundreds of thousands of shards flew in various directions over the bright lush carpet tattering it with tiny images of her reflection.
I need you like the air I breathe but your love is out of reach,
out of reach
Her knees shook as she fell to the floor, not caring about the sharp pain that stabbed her legs or the red liquid that stained the carpet, the agony in her heart burned much worse than any physical pain could ever inflict.
Her paws balled the fabric of her shirt tightly holding them close her heart. She felt as if she could eternally waste away in her misery.
Tears flooded down her face soaking her muzzle and undergarments. Her loud, chockful cries went unheard by the outside world as she drowned in her sorrow.
"Why?" She cried in an inconsolable sob. "Why did this have happen?"
Her sobs reached not even a single soul.
They took him away from her. Her only friend, her stronghold, her most trusted knight, her lover, her everything. Deemed him a "Fallen" and forced him to leave. And he wasn't ever coming back, no matter how much she begged or how long she prayed, he was gone, forever.
If this is where our story ends,
won't you show me how do I begin
This very night, PantherLily was tried for treason against their country, Extalia, the country they both loved and served. He had done the unforgivable in the eyes of the royal council, every eye except hers. What he had done was save the life of a young human boy that lived in the land of Edolas, the land of their sworn enemies, or what the elders would call "despicable insects".
Shagotte never thought of them as such, but she knew that the humans were a threat to her people and were the main reason the elders were so keen on making her ruler when they discovered her power and how they could use it to their advantage.
Though the elders thought Lily had done a treacherous act by bringing the boy to their land, she saw it as an act of heroism.
She never truly had power over the kingdom. She may have the power of precognition that ultimately got her position, but she had no say in anything, the elders did. They were the ones who truly ruled, she could only watch in melancholy as they criticized and ridiculed him for his wrong doing.
After everything they said, she would never forget the powerful words that left Lily's mouth.
"I'm sorry, I can't just ignore any living creature that's been seriously wounded."
His face was angled to the ground with the human boy's entire head bandaged and cradled protectively in Lily's arms.
The elders cast judgment.
Exile was the punishment for his treason. He would be, from that day forward branded as a "Fallen", would leave Extalia, and will never be able to return.
Her beloved gazed at her, their eyes locking, almost as if he was pleading with her to do something, anything.
Shagotte wanted to say something, she wanted to beg the elders to give him another chance, but even she knew that the judgment was absolute, even she could not override it. She did the most disgraceful thing that a queen could ever do to her knight.
She turned her back on him. She averted her eyes from him, unknowingly with that one small action sent him to his demise.
Lily stood tall on his feet as he turned his back to the council walking towards the courtyard doors.
But when he looked over his shoulders, his eyes locked with hers one final time, the gaze in his eyes shattered her soul with the prominent look of hurt and absolute betrayal.
I know that I will love again
But how will I get through til' then?
Is time my only friend?
Was this really the way things had to end? Where was she going to go from here? How could she go on? She couldn't even stand on her two feet anymore. Will she ever have the strength to move forward? She could never love anyone else the way she loved PantherLily, he had her heart, and with him it will forever remain. Only time held her captive in its dark horrid void.
I wish everything could be just like before
I'm running to the place before we fell apart
No one would understand how he made her feel. No one knew what they had done, what they went through together, or how he saved her from her loneliness. When he entered her life he never left her alone, he always checked her well-being, more than anyone else would.
She knew it was his duty, she thought nothing of it, that's what he was supposed to do, right?
But as time continued, their relationship grew into something much stronger than just a bond between a knight and queen. She felt it, she never denied the fact that she truly was falling hard for him, but she didn't know if he felt the same way, or even if he was even allowed to. He always looked so intimidating, he towered over her small frame and his face always held a serious stoic expression.
But when he spoke, his voice was covered in kindness and politeness, it surprised her, the more they spoke, the more she wanted to hear his voice.
When she did finally confess her love to him, she was scared, frightened that he wouldn't feel the same, that he would reject her.
He smiled the most handsome smile she had ever seen. He had kneeled down to one knee bowing his head to her. It confused her, she became worried.
"Your Majesty, I am not worthy to accept such feelings from you."
She remembered how her heart nearly dropped to her stomach at those words. She turned her head away from him, trying to stop the sobs that threatened to climb up her throat.
"F-Forgive me, how foolish of me, I-..." She squeezed her eyes shut failing to stop her tears. "I-I suppose I'll just-" Her sentence was cut off by the knight's lips kissing upon hers. He quickly pulled back and their eyes gazed into each other.
"M-My deepest apologies, My Queen. I-I don't know what came over m-. " Shagotte wasted no time in pulling him down to kiss him again. Her heart filled with love, passion, and joy. His lips were so soft, and his hands so warm.
They then separated, both blushing hot red with labored breaths. His smile made her heart skip a beat as he spoke his next words.
"I love you too, Queen Shagotte."
That was the first time he had said her name.
How can I move on to what tomorrow brings?
Tell me how do I fly
With broken wings? Wish I can undo the past
Just as easy as I can
Pantherlily had been there for her ever since the beginning. She remembered the day clearly when the large exceed was appointed her personal knight and bodyguard.
Shagotte noticed immediately that he possessed something special that the other exceeds in the kingdom didn't possess and that automatically attracted her to him.
The elders had warned her out of kindness about growing feelings towards the knight, but her heart didn't, or rather couldn't, listen to reason. Both Shagotte and Pantherlily dared to disobey the words of the elders and fell in love and went as far as to elope. He was her and she was his.
During the day, the memories of their nights together would often flash through her mind making her visibly blush in council meetings. The sly grins Lily shot her as he escorted her out the courtroom only made it that much more noticeable, but she knew it was all in good nature. They would often laugh about it later. When they were in the privacy of her chambers she would tell him her thoughts in shy tone with flushed red cheeks.
He would chuckle, which she loved to hear so much, a little once she finished. He would then ask if she wouldn't mind if he made her blush once more. He never failed at doing such and she loved it, every second, every minute, every hour he made her feel like the queen she was.
Now I'm learning to believe that the healing starts with me,
starts with me
She would recall the nights when she would have visions of the future and she would wake up screaming and in a cold sweat, her face filled with distress. Lily was always near when nights like those did come.
Tears of fear would spill along her cheeks and her voice would crack under pressure of how frightened she was as she told him of her visions.
He would strip off his armor and crawl into the bed with her, wrapping his arms around her body pulling her close to his chest.
His soothing heartbeat calmed her nerves as he whispered comforting words to her. The warmth of his body and the gentleness of his voice caused whatever nightmare she had to fade away in mere moments.
She wanted that time back, she wanted to be able to wake up to a glorious morning sun and to see her beloved's eyes staring into hers. Her only wish was to see that handsome smile on his face once again.
It's like I'm not breathing anymore
but I'm starting to remember
what my heart is beating for
I know that the pain won't last forever
Shagotte's claws drilled deeper into her shirt as her mind ran with thoughts of him.
Her breath got caught in her thought as the hyperventilation took her over.
"L-Lily." She choked desperately.
Her breath was leaving as she silently begged for him to return to her, knowing her plea would go unanswered
"My Queen." Lily's deep voice echoed in her head. "There's no need to cry or fear anything. I won't ever leave your side. Everything that I am is forever yours."
She had always held those words closely to her heart. When she became insecure of her duties and when she cried out in the night, he wouldn't let her forget his words. He was the reason her heart continued to beat, the reason it accelerated in her sudden adrenaline rush and the reason it would skip from his soft, gentle touches.
I know that I will love again
How will I get through til then?
Is time my only friend, my only friend?
He was the first to know when she had given birth to her egg, their egg that held their unborn baby girl. Shagotte was terrified when she had felt that egg was dying, it didn't have enough magic power. Without hesitation, she made the ultimate sacrifice and gave up one of her wings to save their baby. When she felt the power surging into it, she hugged the egg tightly to her chest placing light kisses on it, expressing her love to their unhatched egg. As long as the baby exceed lived, she was happy. She had fallen asleep with a smile on her face, clutching the egg close to her while Lily guarded them both with watchful eyes.
That very night she had a vision of 6 years in the future. Fire blazed everywhere, everything was falling apart, Extalia was being destroyed. She shot out of her sleep, she was struggling to breathe as she sobbed not able to contain her tears of the terrible future that awaited not only their child but the many other unborn children that lived in Extalia.
When she had told him of her plan to save the next generation of babies, he agreed, not knowing any other alternative that would protect the children from the future to come.
I wish everything could be just like before
I'm running to the place before we fell apart
Shagotte struggled to stand to her feet as the sharp pain of the broken glass sunk deeper into her legs. She ignored it the best she could as she wobbled to and fro, shards sinking into her feet.
She bit back her cries of anguish as she dragged herself to the large bed, smearing a trail of blood behind her the pain only intensifying with every step
"Ah!"
She lost her footing falling to the ground by the edge of the bed. She used the last remaining of her strength to grab hold of the comforter that hung from the bed. Her fingers dug deeply into the fabric as she pulled herself up, her cries of pain mixed with her growing sobs. She was able to gradually pull her aching body on the bed.
She buried her head into her pillow her sobs causing her body to shake. She pulled her knees to her chest hugging herself.
How did she not foresee this happening, this agony, this misery, this unbearable pain? Every time she saw his face flash through her mind of the hurt gaze he gave her, it only made her regret her actions the more. She wished she had done something sooner, given up her throne if she had to if it meant he could stay with her.
How can I move on to what tomorrow brings?
She had given up her only child, her beloved husband and knight were gone forever. Who would keep her safe at night or wipe away her tears when she cried herself to sleep? She couldn't fly, she was weak. The only strength, the only wings she had was her beloved.
Tell me how do I fly
But she was now alone, her wings forever gone and she would never be able to fly again.
With broken wings?
Broken wings
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~ShalilyQueen