Disclaimer: Joss is Boss
A/N: I've been nursing this for a while, and I really hope you like the end results. Jayne PoV, Post-BDM (no real spoilers) Rayne. Read, enjoy, let me know what you think.
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The first time River slipped into Jayne's bunk he shoved her out.
All force and sharp corners, he shoved, she fell, a tangled heap of limbs on the floor.
"What in blue hell you think you doin'? Tryin' to get me thrown out the airlock? Hell na girl. Get your skinny ass back to your bunk 'fore Doc and Cap find you down here. Dong ma?"
And through it all she stared, dry eyed, hair all matter of disheveled, night gown slippin' off one pale shoulder. "Well, ya hear me lil' girl?"
"She hears you big man."
"Then get."
She rose then, all grace and ease, eyes never leaving him. "She'll go now if it will make him easy."
She turned and started up the ladder. "She will be back."
"Like hell." He muttered knowing full well she could hear him. He double-checked the locks twice before going back to bed.
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The second time she slipped into his bed he stayed real still.
Partially 'cause he was only half awake and partially 'cause it felt like she wasn't even breathin', her hand pressed against his back, ice cold, right between his shoulder blades.
"I was cold." She whispered, so softly he thought for a minute it might all be in his head. She moved for the first time, forehead coming against the back of his neck. "I was cold. Dreamt of black seas and grey snow. I could hear Them, tinkering away, waiting. Lions always wait until their prey is unsuspecting. Then they pounce, tear out the throat, make them drown in their own blood. Their screams gurgle."
He wanted to her to stop talking but he stayed quiet.
She was shaking like a leaf and he was half afraid she'd fly apart at the seams, she was shakin' so bad. She pressed further into him, tryin' to make herself a livin' blanket. All of her was cold and shakin' and it didn't take no genius to know the girl was scared witless. Why hadn't she gone to her brother though? Surely he coulda fixed her one of his special cocktails that always made her kinda normal like.
"Three's a crowd." She said simply and he frowned, not at all pleased that she'd been ease dropping in his brain. "Not so. He thinks loudly. She couldn't help it."
There was a silent spell that dragged on for so long he thought the girl was asleep when he muttered, "Captain's gonna have my head for this."
"She won't tell." Came her quiet response in the dark. "She is good at keeping secrets."
-
About the fifth time River came, he was waiting. Left her a spot and made sure she'd have enough room before closing his eyes. Woke up some time later to her voice; "Thank you."
Then he felt her hand, small and chilled, slipping up under his shirt and his whole body tightened up like a cord. "Girl." He hissed, movin' to extract her hand.
"Man." She answered and he could practically make out the smile in her voice. "She wanted to thank him."
Her hand slipped outta his and went back to the hem of his shirt. "Then go to sleep, little crazy, it'll be thanks enough."
"Is he sure?" Her fingers curled against his stomach. "Droughts are long and hard to bear." Her mouth leaned towards his ear. "Hands in the dark aren't the same."
He groaned then, images of little crazy girl doin' non-crazy girl things springin' up on him. "Yes, I'm sure." He gritted out, hatin' that he'd decided to grown something like a conscious now, "Now go to sleep, else I'm gonna be cranky in the morning." Mal must've started rubbin' off on him.
"Liar." She said and his heart stopped for a moment. "He is always cranky."
Her hand retreated after that. He didn't sleep.
-
She was cryin' the eleventh time she slept in his bunk.
Big ole weepy eyes that stared down at her lap and little girl shoulders shakin' with sobs.
"She tries. She does. I do not know what to do. Sits, laughs, walks, runs, flies. All of it and more. Can talk and know and hear and still there is not improvement!" She cursed and struggled when he put his arm 'round her, until he had to hold her still. "You wanna quit that now little crazy, it's gonna be alright."
She shook her head and let out a wail, makin' him worry for a moment she'd wake the whole ship. "I can see Them. Every time I look They're standing there, watching me, waiting, They're waiting for her to fail. They watch and wait for her to fall out of the sky so They might catch her again."
"That ain't gonna happen. You too damn smart to fail."
"But, she, I—"
"No one takin' you nowhere. Captain named ya family. That means ya gonna get taken care of now."
"The pieces in her head still slip, she is unreliable. Won't always function as a normal girl might. Won't always be a source of—"
"It's all shiny then, ain't it? We don't be functionin' normal either, but we all manage ta watch our own."
She quieted some and he felt something in him relax. "He will take care of her too. He'll protect her."
A part of him wanted to laugh right then, mostly 'cause he figured both of them knew full well that she could wipe the floor with him if she really wanted to. He didn't though, cause her eyes were wet and her face was blotchy from crying so hard and she never looked more lonesome and broken than she did then.
"Yeah," he said, almost without thinkin', "I'll take care of ya girl."
Then her mouth pressed against his and Jayne wasn't sure what to think.
-
It must have been the nineteenth night she spent with him, and he only took notice of the number cause the girl's birthday wasn't too far away.
"She doesn't want to hurt him." She said, all bundles of nervousness, easing herself gently down besides him.
"Ain't gonna hurt me girl." He reassured, his voice a wince waiting to happen. She came closer, propped up on her elbow and looked down at him. He caught the smell of something then, something that wasn't nothing like the cheap perfume the girls down at the houses wore, wasn't like the expensive stuff Inara walked around in either or the girly go se Kaylee sometimes put on for special nights with the Doc that always smelt like flowers and girl and engine grease. No, she smelled like something else, sweet and light, reminded him some of the candles Ma used to light at Sunday mass.
"Does it hurt still?" her voice was quiet and he was sure he'd heard guilt in there too. Damn girl probably thought he'd taken the bullet for her, couldn't see he just didn't want her to make a mess on the bay floor if she got shot. Mal'd probably make him clean it up.
"Nope, got thick hide on my back. Didn't even feel it."
She made a face and let him know she knew he was lying. She always knew.
"It's just a flesh wound baby doll, don't gotta worry you pretty little head about it."
He was pretty sure the grin that followed that sentence coulda filled up the whole damn room. " He finds her head attractive?" It was almost like he's just told the girl that Santa, the Easter bunny and the tooth fairy were all real and coming to visit her.
"You think I'm pretty."
He forced a yawn when her happiness got too much for him and turned his head always, careful with his shoulder.
"Go to sleep crazy."
"Is he blushing? He is!" she nearly squeaked, draping herself across him, mindful of his wounded shoulder. "Big man is blushing!" Her head came to rest on his chest. "He has given himself away." She said, and he could practically hear her smile. "But do not worry. I will not tell anyone."
-
The next time River stayed the night she kissed him again.
"He was kind to defend her." She whispered. "You were good."
And he wanted to tell her he wasn't any kind of good, not to no one, wanted to say he would of shot that man no matter, even if he hadn't been holdin' a gun to her back.
"This gonna end bad little girl." He told her when she pulled away, cause there wasn't no way he was gonna meet the end of this and not say 'I told you so'.
"Perhaps. Chances are not in our favor."
They never were, not on this flying hunk of junk, were petty men like him played heroes and villains all in the same go. Confusing Fate was all they were doing, and She didn't take too kindly to that.
She kissed him again and he don't stop her. And there was the smell like his ma's church candles and the press of her hand, cold and pale against his arm and he couldn't think none anymore.
He didn't mind it too much.
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End
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