Disclaimer: Harry Potter is the property of JKR.

Author's Notes: The plotbunny for this was given to me by m'Manda. I can't thank her enough, haha.

o.o.o.o

When Lily sat down across from him at the breakfast table, James didn't think anything of it. When she sat there for a half an hour without putting anything on her plate, he got worried. She hadn't even looked up from the table since she'd appeared.

"Lily?" he questioned with a frown, putting down the Daily Prophet he'd been reading. "Are you all right?"

Lily swallowed nervously. James sat up straighter, sensing something bad coming. "I... have to tell you something."

"You can tell me anything," James assured her, leaning across the table to grasp her hands gently. Be supportive, he reminded himself. Mum says girls like that. Be supportive and don't panic, you don't know what's going on yet. "You can always tell me anything, you know that."

"Yes." She nodded, without looking at him. "James... sweetheart..."

He squeezed her hands and made a few encouraging noises. "What is it?"

She didn't say anything for a little while, but she rubbed her thumbs over his knuckles, so he tried to be patient.

"You know I've been going to those Muggle Studies karaoke parties with Sirius," she started reluctantly. He tried to get her to look at him, but she still wouldn't; she was staring firmly at her empty plate. "Well, awhile ago..."

She stopped.

"Lily?" he murmured. Once she mentioned Sirius, he'd pretty much relaxed, because Sirius usually did a remarkable job of keeping her out of trouble. (It was mostly that she was too busy keeping him out of trouble to get into any of her own, but James wasn't one to quibble.) "Go on, baby."

"One of the other students snuck some Firewhiskey in and we were all drinking it after the professor left, and... I--I must have had too much of it, because I don't remember much except the world spinning and Siri--" Lily would have kept talking, but James interrupted her, very relieved.

There was a slight smile on his face as he said, "Are you trying to tell me you got drunk with my best friend, Lily? Because that's not something I'm going to get mad at you for; in fact, I've done it myself a couple of times."

"But I remember going into an empty classroom with him!" Lily hissed, peeking from behind her hair to stare at him, stricken. "And... well, I don't actually remember anything after that, but..."

"But, what?" asked James, deciding to humor her even though he'd pretty much lost interest in the conversation. How bad could it be if it was just Lily and Sirius?

Lily sniffled, which almost freaked him out all over again.

"I'm late."

"Er, Lily," James ventured after a moment, bewildered and frowning. "Classes don't start for another fifteen minutes."

"Not that," snapped Lily shrilly. She removed one of her hands from James's, to wipe at her face furtively. In a voice barely above a whisper she continued, "My period, James."

James's eyes widened. He demanded, "... W-what?"

"I didn't want to, but I went to see Madam Pomfrey earlier, and she agreed that--" Lily's faltering voice finally drew to a halt, her shoulders shaking. There was a soft sound from behind her hair that could have been a sob.

James tried to find his voice, to ask her what the medi-witch had agreed about, but couldn't seem to manage it. Lucky, she went on fairly quickly.

"Agreed that I am," she murmured sadly.

"Lily, you're... you're not..." squeaked James, feeling quite sick to his stomach. He wished he hadn't eaten so much earlier.

Lily nodded. He definitely didn't want to hear her say it, as the nod was more than enough, but she stated clearly, "I'm pregnant."

The blood drained from his face. "But, that's not possible! We haven't -- I mean, we've never... It's not possible!" he sputtered, desperate.

Lily looked up at last. The stricken expression on her face made him uneasy. He swallowed reflexively.

"Weren't you listening, James?" she said. She was clearly unhappy, but there was also an edge to her voice. "Sirius--"

"No," he cut her off sharply, pulling away. He was staring at her incredulously. Above anything else, he didn't want to believe this part of what she was telling him. "No. No bloody way."

She nodded again. Her expression was so serious. So horribly, horribly serious. Sirius.

"You... I can't believe..." croaked James, feeling utterly betrayed. He wanted to cry. "Not with... anyone but..."

"I'm sorry, mate," said a voice behind James, who turned to see Sirius standing there and looking wary. He repeated, "I'm sorry, James."

It was too innocuous a thing to say, too generic and innocent. Sirius should have been flippant, or... horrified. Yes, that was it; Sirius should have been horrified! But he was calmly apologizing. This was unbearable.

James lost his senses completely.

"You're sorry!" he shrieked. He stood up and glared furiously at his best friend; punching was a definite, appealing option, but he thought he'd work his way up to it. (Probably. He might skip straight ahead to the Killing Curse.) "What the hell do you mean, you're sorry?"

Unexpectedly, Sirius grinned. "I'm sorry, because it was her idea."

This threw James for a real loop. He mouthed soundlessly for a second, shifting his gaze to his girlfriend. "What do you mea--" he started to ask.

"April Fool's," explained Lily impishly. Suddenly she didn't look sad or worried or apologetic at all. In fact, she looked quite pleased with herself.

It took just those two words for James to understand. He sank numbly back into his seat and folded his arms on the table, dropping his head onto them. He'd been had.

"Oh, you bastards," he muttered feelingly. They laughed at him, apparently without realizing that he'd just undergone the shock of his life and that it was likely he'd never recover.

James considered hurting them. It would probably be better, though, if he just didn't talk to them for a few days. Except, there was something he had to say first...

"I am never, ever, ever going to forgive you two for that one."