"What Have I Done?"
CHAPTER ONE
The monotony of the day was starting to get to him. He wiped the sweat off his face and headed toward the exit of the Training Center. It almost seemed as though the monsters were stepping out of his way. Nothing even dared attack him.
Training wasn't even as fun as it used to be. The essence of life seemed to be sucked out of everything these days. Maybe it was the fact that Garden was safe again. Maybe it was the fact that they were in no immediate danger and that everything was going directly to plan again. Something was just killing the excitement that he used to feel. It was time to enter uncharted land, but he just had to find some.
"Hey Squall, wait up!" He heard a voice call behind him. He turned around to see Zell running toward him. He stopped short and extended his hand. Squall looked at it, then turned his head slightly, looking over to nothing in particular. Used to the gesture, Zell just let his hand fall back down to his side.
"I didn't know you were in here!" The blonde said, excited.
"Well, what else is there to do?" Squall asked, his voice heavy with boredom.
"Good point, man!" Zell agreed happily. "The past couple of weeks, I've just been feeling…I dunno…Bored. It's getting to me 'cause we just…We had so excitement before and now it's like there's absolutely nothing to do but train. And that's not even fun anymore since the thrill is gone. I know I can beat everything in here, even the T-Rexaurs. So, it's just not what it used to be."
"I know…" Squall said, listened to the blonde's rant and nodding his head. He pushed his silky hair out of his eyes and looked down at the ground.
"Well, I'm off. I've got a date to Selphie and I should probably go shower." Zell laughed lightheartedly. Nothing seemed to get him down since Selphie finally accepted the invitation to be his girlfriend.
"Yea, you probably should…" Squall nodded and his friend ran off toward the exit.
Squall let out a heavy sigh. He felt numb, like nothing could touch him. He wanted to feel what he used to feel. He started off toward the exit. He felt a weight on his shoulders that he couldn't quite identify.
He walked slowly to his dorm room and began removing his clothes when the phone rang. He eyed it quietly and finally picked up the receiver.
"Hello?" He asked.
"Hey baby!" A happy voice sounded on the other end of the phone, "What are you doing?"
"Oh, hey, Rinoa. I just got back from the Training Center and I'm about to take a shower…" He said.
"Ooh…Mind if I join you?" She giggled and Squall smiled.
"No, but really," she continued, "I was wondering if you wanted to do something tonight…"
"Oh, yea, sure. You wanna go into town and get something to eat?" He proposed.
"Yea, sounds great. Meet you down there in an hour?"
"Sure thing."
"Okay, I love you, Squally…"
"I love you too." He placed the phone back onto the cradle and finished removing his clothes. He got into the shower and turned up the hot water. He felt the water hit him and wash away his sweat. As he did so, his mind flashed to Rinoa and he thought of her beautiful smile.
Suddenly, he was excited to see her. He hadn't felt excited about anything in a long time and the feeling shocked him. He hurried up in the shower and jumped out, clean and ready to get dressed.
As he pulled on his clothes, he couldn't stop thinking about her, her lighthearted laughter, and he upbeat personality. She was almost his complete opposite and maybe that was why they completed each other so wonderfully.
After getting dressed, he walked into town. He passed Selphie and Zell at the gates, kissing lightly and whispering sweet nothings into each other's ears. They seemed perfect for each other, and he stopped to think if anyone thought that when they saw him and Rinoa together.
Finally he approached the restaurant and he saw his beloved standing in front. She was early, as usual. He wanted to run, but he kept up with his brisk walking pace and walk up to her. She smiled at him and stood on her tiptoes to give him a kiss on the lips.
"Shall we?" She asked, sliding her hand into his.
"Of course…" They walked inside and got their usual table. They sat across from each other and Rinoa began to chatter and babble about her day. Squall kept his eyes focused on her, but his mind began to wander.
She was the project he had been looking for since things started calming down. He had done a lot in his life, but he had never stopped to make room for love before she walked into his life. Now, it seemed like that was the logical thing to do. She was the second woman he had ever loved, but he never took the time to tell the first one how he felt. She was so shy that even if she felt the same way that he had, there was no way that she would ever tell. Rinoa, on the other hand, had made the first move ever since the first time he laid eyes on her and she dragged him onto the dance floor at the SeeD ball.
He decided to take the time that he never took before. He wanted to make room for the love in his life as he had never done before. It seemed so logical. This was what he had been waiting for. There was nothing left to do but…
"Marry me." He heard himself said in the midst of his thoughts.
Rinoa paused, mid-sentence. Her mouth fell open. Her eyes widened and a smirk spread across Squall's face.
"What did you say?" She asked, breathlessly.
"Marry me, Rinoa." He said with the smirk still on his face.
"Yes, Squally, yes, of course!" She squealed, causing everyone in the restaurant to turn around and stare at them. For once, Squall didn't care.
Rinoa stood, as did Squall, and she threw her arms around his neck and kissed him. A couple of females in the place collectively said "Aww!" at the display.
They kissed for what seemed to be sometime and left the restaurant without even ordering their meals.
They walked hand-in-hand through Balamb, sharing a loving silence, both dizzy with excitement. Finally, they headed back to Garden and he dropped her off at her dorm room. After the somewhat extended kiss goodnight, he walked in silence back to his room.
He stripped down to his boxers and got into bed. As he slid between the sheets, he clicked off his bedside lamp and lay on his back, pondering over the night's events.
He had a strange feeling in his stomach. It was a thin line between anxiety and nausea and he couldn't tell which one it was.
As Squall lay in his bed, he began to think of what life would be like married to Rinoa. Rinoa Leonhart. That had a ring to it, right?
Rinoa Leonhart…
He felt his left ring finger in the darkness of his room and thought of the cool feel of wedding ring that would once be upon it. Squall sighed loudly, killing the stony silence of the room.
Asking Rinoa to marry him was the first impulsive thing that he had done in a long time. And now he was remembering why he always calculated the consequences of his actions long before he ever did anything. This feeling he felt was something he wanted away from him.
The old weight on his shoulders was replaced by a heavier one on his chest. He sighed again and found it hard to catch his breath this time.
Finally, he pondered aloud to the darkness.
"What have I done?"
A/N: This is my first post on here. It's the first part of a series and I need some reviews to help me out here. So, whatever your opinion, let me know. Thanks.
--Ravyn Starkweather