This is a quick little one-shot I wrote late at night when I should've been studying. It's pretty angsty and the concept is a bit out there, and I don't know if I really pulled it off. Please read and review!
Logan and Veronica are floating, gently, calmly floating. The water around them stretches out for years, millennia. The air is muggy and solid and it exhausts her to just move her head to the side so she can read his expression. It is serene. The sun beats down with almost tangible force and her arms feel like solar panels, collecting heat and radiating energy.
If she could bring herself to sit up and look at her body, she's almost sure she would be glowing. She doesn't know how to describe this feeling other than that. She glows, and not just figuratively because next to her she can see the aura of light around Logan, so bright that even the small glimpse of it in the corner of her eyes sears into her skull.
"Are we dead?" She asks. And she's not sure that they are still alive, but she doesn't think they're dead. She wonders, however, if maybe they have passed on, that they never got off that rooftop, that her body is lying bloody on the ground above the Neptune Grand.
"Not sure." He says. And his lazy voice takes a while to make it to her ears, lingering in the heavy air before she can hear it. He seems different and if Veronica could just turn over, she's sure that she could tell if it was really Logan beside her, or just a facsimile, a shadow that she's concocted to keep her company.
"Are you real?" She asks, not having the strength to be anything but blunt. And he laughs, and all of a sudden his voice grows higher and lighter, and next to her is Lilly.
"Hey babe, haven't seen you in a lifetime."
And Veronica is reassured that if at least she's dead, then Logan isn't and there will be more than two people at her funereal, because she really is just a social butterfly at heart.
"Hey Lills. Do you happen to know where I am?"
"As if that's important. Veronica, you know that this isn't me right?"
Veronica nods, her neck taking an impossibly long time to catch up with her brain.
"But I'm still going to tell you I miss you. Because I do. Or she does. It doesn't matter really. But you need to hold in there champ!"
And it's her dad, and Veronica's crying, but she can't remember why through the haze surrounding her mind.
"You did great honey. Just remember that I always love you. It'll be fine."
And then he's gone and Duncan is lying next to her, with baby Lilly in the crook of his arms. He seems to be talking to someone in the distance. "He's dead." She makes out.
"Veronica, I did what I had to. You did too. And you were right. Just wait and it'll all blow over."
But he doesn't sound convinced, and the baby is crying and everything is spinning a bit. And Aaron freaking Echolls is languishing next to her, hands under his head, bleeding profusely from his head.
"You know, I always imagined I would go out in a blaze of glory. You almost had the chance to!" He chuckles, and a shiver goes up Veronica's spine.
"What the hell are you doing here?"
"You always were a tricky one, always asking questions. Can't you just listen for once? You wouldn't like my when I'm angry, trust me."
"Believe me, that's the only thing I do trust you about."
He dips a bloody hand in the water, and all of a sudden, the water is red. And BeaverCassidy is lying next to her.
"Hey Veronica!" He waves an arm but it's limp and broken in several places. It flops around and she feels queasy.
"Appreciating your handiwork? Yeah, I know I jumped, but did you do anything to help? Did you even move to check if I was alive or dead? I didn't die right away you know. The fall just wasn't enough. It took a SUV to do me in. If you'd called the police right away then maybe I would be able to stand up."
And Veronica looks down and sees that his legs are flattened completely, bleeding still from the gashes and cuts.
"Whatever. You'll be fine though. Say hi to Dick for me."
The water fades to the bright aqua it was before and she's really hoping that Cassidy meant say hi to Dick when this is all over, because she's definitely not in the mood for him now. Not that she was the mood for Aaron, or Cassidy, or actually any of this at all.
"Hey…. Me."
Veronica looks over and sees, herself. She has long hair and pink lip-gloss that she can smell from where she is lying. In fact the air is permeated with the scent of Strawberry Lip smackers. Veronica (the real one, the one with the issues) is actually somewhat comforted. At least she knows herself. But the she looks over again and sees the streaks of mascara streaming down her counterpart's face, sees that familiar white dress.
"Oh my god, oh my god," she (the FakeVeronica, because that person is so far gone it's almost like they never real) cries to herself.
The real Veronica has the impulse to put her hand on her twin's arm, but that would be strange and she thinks that maybe a temporal fold would open up or something.
"Hey," she says softly to her gently weeping other self. She searches for words to say. The other-her looks at her, straight in the eyes, and she can feel the old despair sweep up on her. She can feel the pain that she wanted so desperately to be rid of, the pathetic ness that her old self seems to be bathed in. This is the reason why she is so cold, why she cut her hair into jagged edges, she is in control, and no matter what happened last night (her memories are seeping back) she will never be this girl again. She will take charge and be kick-ass Veronica Mars. And she opens her mouth to give reassurance that she will take down whoever hurt her. Because that's what she does.
"I know that right now, it sucks, and that you really hurt. But it'll be okay. Maybe not soon, or even for a long time. But I swear that I will do something, I just, I need…" And her voice trails off because there is nothing she can do. Her rapist has been killed and she didn't do anything about that. But she needs to comfort herself, she needs to find something to say that will make the pain go away.
"He's dead. That bastard, the one who did this to you- us. He's dead." But that doesn't make her feel better, the real her, not the one who was crying a moment ago, because what she said isn't really true. Cassidy isn't a bastard. He's a cold-blooded mass murderer, a psychotic killer, he- god he took so much from her- but he's a broken child. Say hi to Dick for me. He's just a child, one who misses his brother. And she can't help but feel that tug within her that means she's about to cry. She isn't brave. She can't be if that means she's not human anymore. A voice reverberates through her mind You're not a killer.
"Look. I can't promise you anything, but there are people, other people, and, and they love you. They love us and I might seem like the most together person, but I'm better. Not completely, because I still- I mean, it hurts so much you know? But there's things and people and they help. They help me."
And both Veronicas are crying and the one in white is fading away, but the other one is becoming more and more alert.
And Veronica is lying alone, she is the only one in this world, alone she is floating in this vast ocean. And she is crying, her breath coming in short jerky gulps, but she remembers what she told herself. There are people out there that love her, her dad, Logan, Wallace, Mac, even Backup.
But then everything sharply fades away into cold hard plastic seats, into hard dirty plastic tile. Her self-bravado is gone, gone with the rest of her dream. Because no matter what just happened, she's just a lonely girl sleeping in a seat by herself at an airport, waiting for someone who isn't coming.
Please review, this is a pretty bizarre story, and I'd like to know people's reactions before I do something like this again. Also, feel free to point out any stupid mistakes I've made because (If you hadn't noticed), I'm beta-free.