Chapter 1 : Sleepless Nights

It was once a rainy night, it was very cold and thunders are crossing in the sky. Ichigo was looking at his window and having heavy thoughts about his battle with the Arrancars, from Grimmjow to an Espada Ulquiorra, then to two of the previous captains in Sereitei, Gin whom he thought was a real enemy but as he pondered about his fights with him, he realized he was being tested by him if he truly can defeat the monster inside Aizen. And Gin never gave up until his last breath with Rangiku on his side, crying and mourning for his death. Then he pondered along with Aizen's words to him, while they were fighting. The sudden appearance of his father with Kisuke, and their tag-teaming with Yoruichi. Then when his father helped him, on the dangai to achieve his "Final Form" which entitles him of losing his shinigami powers. Then a sudden rage of thunder came across the sky and he felt more painful of that thought. But what's more painful that brought him is the realization of losing both his power to protect and communicating with his zanpakuto "zangetsu" and lastly which made him put his two hands on his face was the thought of never seeing Rukia and other shinigamis, souls and hollows again. He truly remembers the last day when he sees fading Rukia in front of him and going back to SS by passing through a senkaimon gate in Karakura town. He remembered that scene very well for while on his way home he felt his steps we're getting heavier and bit more painful face was seen across his face. Ishida, Inoue and Chad were very worried of him. He made a smile at them before going home on that day.

" Yoh, have to go now." "Thank you for the help." Ichigo smiled a bit but looked away after that.

'Kurosaki-kun, are you sure you can go home by yourself?" Inoue says while walking towards him.

" Yeah, I am fine." " Please don't bother anymore." Ichigo stopped Inoue from taking another steps. He turn his back to them and wave a hand while his other hand on his pocket and started to walk his way home where he can freely set his emotions free.

" Kurosaki-kun." Inoue whispers right after.

" We must leave him for a while, he needs some rest and time to think though." Ishida says while pushing his glasses up. He was really sad for Rukia has been a good comrade and a nakama to them. Though he seems to observed it differently on Ichigo, he thought that in Ichigo's perception Rukia is more than a 'nakama'.

Ichigo cannot easily forget that day for it burdens him a lot. A lot that even Keigo during the day was able to notice his sad eyes. And he couldn't hide it, he showed his friends, his family that he is alright but deep inside there's a piece being missing and he couldn't find it. He couldn't stop thinking and reminiscing those moments. He keep on telling himself that he has to stop and move on, but it seems his mind and heart cannot comprehend what is he trying to do. Ichigo suddenly fall out of his bed, he seems to fell asleep last night after those thoughts he has been thinking for the past 17 months. But he can clearly see them in his dreams, right after he heard his father's voice.

" Gooooood moooorrnniinng Ichigo!" His father was like a superman who entered on his window and throw himself to him but Ichigo perfectly dodged it. Ichigo saw his father on his floor.

" It's already morning father, and our neighbors are awake now." Ichigo was saying after while undressing himself and prepares himself to go to school.

" Hmmm.. I know my son that's why I have to keep you heated up before going to school!."

" Well, that is not good, c'mon we have to eat breakftast." Ichigo has dressed himself very well and went over the door to come down and have something to eat.

While his way to school he sees a fallen flower vase which he knew the place where a girl died in a car accident. He went on a fragile expression again for he cannot see the girl anymore. He stood up the vase and smiled a bit. 'Hope you are doing fine' he muttered out of nowhere. He goes to school same routine and then go home. But on his way home he saw Ishida running towards a playground, he thought to himself that a hollow was there and he cannot help Ishida anymore. He went home straight and never looked back.

" Kurosaki-kun!.." Inoue appeared out of nowhere and greeted Ichigo with a smile.

" Ahh, hi Inoue." " Going home?"

" Yeah, ahm can I walk home with you?" She says while putting his fingers in a line and made a cute expression.

'" Ahh sure nothing's problem on that."

" Really?" Inoue jumped a bit and smiled.

" Yeah.." " But where's Chad, I know you always walk home together."

" Ahhh..." Inoue can't say that Chad went with Ishida to fight a hollow on the playground.

" Hmm, ok then I know it." "Let's go." Ichigo knew that both of them are now fighting over it and trying to protect Karakura town with their own powers.

" Hmm say Kurosaki-kun, are you alright these days?"

" What do you mean?"

" Ahh nothing... Hehehhee"

" Ahh okay..."

" Say Kurosaki-kun, don't you miss her?." Inouse started to look sad and she looked down after saying it.

" Huh?" Ichigo is now guessing Inoue's question.

" Say Kurosaki-kun!" " Do you miss Kuchiki-san?" Inoue moved in front of him while facing Ichigo with a sad face.

" I can't truly say." Ichigo look away

" Yeah, you can't say for it's been more than a year." Then Inoue started to walk ahead of him.

"Inoue..." Ichigo knew that they had seen also his gestures and his behavior. It didn't went well, he thought he could put up a poker-face in front of them, letting them see that he's happy but he realized that they are his true friends who can see his deepest thoughts and emotions. He started to walk and trying to follow Inoue's pace. As they get near to his house, Inoue turned around with a warm smile on her face.

" Kurosaki-kun, your house is here."

" Eh Inoue you went home with me just to fetch me home?..." Confused, Ichigo scratched his head.

" Hai!.." " Ahm hope you do have a good day." Then Inoue turn her back and run away from the Kurosaki residence. Ichigo just looked Inoue until he couldn't see her trace. Ichigo sigh deeply on Inoue's question. He cannot say if he misses her or not but somehow when he look at his window he knows he misses the days that he was with 'her.' He got into the house, look around while putting his shoes on the rack and get his slippers.

" Yuzu, Karin?" "Where are you, are you home now?" He shouted but no one respond to him. 'I guess they are still in the school and enjoying their days as a middle student.' He went upstairs just as he was in front of his door, he sigh deeply again and turn the knob to open the door. He got goosebumps and felt lonely when he entered his room he throw his bag on the table and lie in his bed.

" So, she didn't even come to Karakura Town." " I guess she has a lot of job in the Soul Society."

" After all she was a shinigami and a noble." Ichigo says while looking at the closet where Rukia usually stays before he introduce her to his father and let her lodge-in for free. Then suddenly he felt a bit hard on his chest on the thought. He went to the other side so that he could not see the closet and let his eyes shut for a while. ' Maybe I should sleep more, for I am a bit tired.''Am I tired?' 'Or is it just something is not right in me?' as he ponder those thoughts he felt sleepy and dreamed a dream of his past years of being a shinigami...