TRIGGER WARNINGS: Cheating, Name Calling

A/N: This story was written for the AO3 Collection "Our Favorite Things" from the Dramione Fanfiction Forum Admin team. We each picked a song and wrote a little fic for it.

The story is based off the song Dear Santa by Tim McGraw. Even though the song is super jazzy, it gives off the impression that someone's heart got broken and they were hoping that Santa could help.

I am only amending my author's note because of something that has come up in a review yesterday upon posting the story. If this gets a little too personal for you then feel free to ignore this paragraph and pick up where it says disclaimer. I've been on both sides of the cheating trope. I've been the one who was cheated on and the one who did the cheating. I made the personal choice to stay with the person who had cheated on me for a variety of reasons. One of which is a self-esteem issue that I have a very hard time dealing with and that I don't discuss very often. Given the chance to do it again, I would take back the other person who cheated on me because of what that relationship allowed for me to do with my life. I was a better person when I was with them. And I'm saying this almost four years later. I'm a totally different person now than who I was back then, but I was more open to things that stole me away from my laptop for a few hours and hung out with a lot more people. As for being the cheater, yeah. It was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Do I regret it? No. Are a lot of you going to hate me for saying that? Probably. But it was my choice. I've been on both sides of the issue and that's why I felt comfortable enough to write this fic and share it with all of you. I hope you don't hate me and will still continue reading my work. If you do hate me and wish to cease reading my work, then I completely understand and I wish you well. To the guest comment, just know that you saying my fic was horrible got to me. If that was your goal congratulations, but now my readers know me just a little bit better.

Disclaimer: The characters belong to J.K. Rowling and the song belongs to Tim McGraw. I only own the plot. I don't write for profit.

As always, please if you like the story leave a review!

Love always!
~starr

He sat outside their bedroom door listening to her cry herself to sleep again. It was the third night in a row that they'd fought, and she left the room in tears, slamming their bedroom door behind her as she went. He leaned his head back against the wall, too afraid to say a word. His apologies wouldn't help this time. It was Christmas Eve for heaven's sake, they shouldn't have been fighting at all.

"Where were you last night?" she cried standing across the room from him.

"Out," he huffed staring at the floor.

"Where?" she yelled trying so desperately to hold the tears back and not let them fall. She couldn't show him any weakness. He needed to explain himself this time. She was done covering for him with their friends and family, and she wasn't going to put up with it anymore.

"Some place a Mudblood like you couldn't get in," he snapped looking up at her with a glare so deadly. Immediately, he regretted the words coming out of his mouth. That was the one thing he swore he would never call her again.

The tears began to fall down her cheeks. There was no stopping them now, even if she used magic. They would still continue to fall. The power of one word. Who knew it could be so forceful.

"Were you with her?" she asked between sobs. He had already called her that word, so it wasn't like he could hurt her anymore by just admitting the truth.

"Yes," he said. That was the last thing he was able to say to her before she left the room.

He wished that he could have taken back that word. That one stupid word. He wished he could have taken back his actions the last few months. His stupid, stupid behavior. He wished that he and Astoria had never reconnected at that Slytherin Christmas reunion. That damn Christmas party. His biggest regret was going to see her last night after they'd fought. Why Draco, why?

He thought about how the events of the night before had added up. Hermione had just found out that he'd been seeing Astoria behind her back for a few weeks. He agreed to attend the Slytherin Christmas reunion, but Hermione was not able to attend because she was headed out with her fellow Gryffindors. He had been drinking a lot that night before even being approached by Astoria. She was looking better than she had looked in school. He always wondered what it would have been like to sleep with her, and while sober he would never act on those wonderings. That night, unfortunately, he wasn't sober.

One night of drunken stupor had led to multiple nights in a row of him sneaking out to meet her. He was addicted to her. He couldn't get enough of her body, her kisses, her mouth. Merlin, the abilities she had with that mouth. One night of drunken stupor led to him fucking up three years of an amazing relationship. A relationship that he never could have dreamed of after the war.

He wasn't sure how Hermione found out about him and Astoria. He thought he had been rather discreet about it, besides coming home at all hours of the night, climbing into bed beside her reeking of cologne as a method of hiding Astoria's perfume. He was unaware of her knowledge of the affair until three nights ago when he came home from work to find her sitting at the dinner table. It looked like she'd been crying. There was a crumpled up piece of paper lying on the table in front of her.

"How long?" were the only words she spoke while staring intently at the paper when he walked up to the table where she was seated and spied the note.

"How long what?" he asked trying to play it off.

"Have you been fucking Astoria?" she sobbed looking up at him as the tears started to fall once again. His heart dropped.

"How did you find out?" he mumbled, afraid to look her in the eyes as he started fidgeting with his fingers.

"This," she spat as she pointed to the note on the table. He picked it up and read it.

It was a note from Astoria. He had never seen it before. He couldn't figure out how it had gotten to their flat. The note was from the first night they had slept together, telling him how happy she was that he had finally chosen her, even if he was still going home to the "Princess" every time he left her flat. She hoped that he would chose her in the end.

"It fell out of your trouser pockets when I gathered laundry earlier," she told him spying the confusion on his face.

As the tears continued, she yelled again, "How long have you been fucking her behind my back?"

"I'm going out," he answered and walked back out the door that he had walked in moments before. Once he closed the door he leaned back and sunk to the ground. His heart broken into a million pieces. He heard the loud crash of something being thrown at the door in his wake, and the tears started to fall from his own eyes. He needed to make this right.

After the first fight he went to Astoria's with the intent of breaking off their relationship. The pair had a screaming match but he ended up staying the night. Again. Somehow she convinced him to stay and, yet again, be stupid.

When he got home the next day, he and Hermione had it out once again. He admitted to sleeping with Astoria and he made the stupid mistake of saying that he wasn't sorry for it. In fact, he told her that he enjoyed what happened, and he stormed out of their flat again. Another plate slammed into the door as he sat outside and cried. He couldn't understand what power Astoria had over him that he couldn't leave her. That night he went to Astoria's door to have it out with her. One last time.

He pounded on the door in a rage. He wanted this to be over so that he could go home and fix things with Hermione. He had ruined the last month of their relationship, but he wasn't about to ruin Christmas for her as well. He was going to fix this. The door flew open as he went to knock again.

"What the hell, Draco?" she hissed, "You're going to wake the neighbors with that pounding."

"I don't care! We're done," he told her as he turned to walk away from her. She rolled her eyes at him. She couldn't believe he wanted to play this game again.

"You're little 'We're done' speech didn't work last night. What makes you think it will work tonight?" she laughed stopping him dead in his tracks as he turned to look at her slowly.

"Because this time, I mean it."

"Come inside, Draco. Let me show you that I'm the better match for you. She doesn't deserve you."

"You're damn right she doesn't deserve me because I've been treating her like bloody hell, but I'm done hurting her. I am going to be the man that she deserves to have in her life. Goodbye, Astoria. Do not contact me again," he yelled as he turned on his heels and walked away from her door. His temper was starting to get the better of him and things would not be any easier if Hermione had to come get him from jail.

"You'll be back," she hummed before closing the door, "They always do."

Draco rolled his eyes and continued to storm away. He wouldn't be back. He would become the man that Hermione deserved.

After the fight he had with Hermione that evening, he knew that he wouldn't be welcomed to share their bed with her. He decided that it would be best for him to just fall asleep on the couch and hope that in the morning she would forgive him. A true Christmas miracle. Before he drifted off to sleep, he sat down to write a letter to the Big Man in red. Even if he wasn't real, it would help Draco to feel better to get the words off his chest. After he finished writing, he held the note close to his heart as he drifted off to sleep.

When she walked downstairs early the next morning, she found Draco asleep on the couch with a letter held loosely in his hands on his chest. Her curious nature didn't allow for her to just ignore it and go about her morning routine. Especially with it being Christmas Day.

Dear Santa,

Bring her a heart,

The one she's got is broken.

Fill up her stocking with the words,

That I left unspoken.

Now I'm not asking you to bring her love,

'Cause Christmas morning when she wakes up,

That's what she'll get from me.

Draco

She leaned back against the wall as she read the letter again and again. Slowly she tipped her head back against the wall as the tears started to fall and she slid down the wall sitting on the floor. The tears continued to stream down her face, but not from anger this time. It was from the pain she could feel in his words. She hadn't realized he was so mad at himself for what he had said and done to her. She was also mildly curious as to how he was going to bring her love this morning. As far as she was aware he hadn't left the other side of their bedroom door last night after she locked him out.

He hated listening to her cry, especially when he knew it was his fault. He wasn't asleep when she had come downstairs and taken the note out of his hand, he was only pretending. However, he knew that she hadn't been ready to talk to him when she first woke up, but he couldn't pretend to be asleep much longer. He needed to be the man she deserved to have in her life.

"Hermione," he said softly as he got up from the couch and walked over to where she was sitting. Slowly, he lowered himself to sit beside her. He placed a tentative arm around her shoulders, not sure if she would bat him away. When his arm met her shoulder, she turned her head into his chest and let out a gut-wrenching sob.

"Shush," he whispered as he rubbed her arm with his hand, "Please don't cry, Hermione. I'm so sorry. For everything."

She took a deep breath before lifting her head to look at him. "What did you mean, that I'd get love from you this Christmas?"

He brushed the hair out of her face and wiped away the tears that were rolling down her cheek. She looked at him, searching his face for answers or an indication of what he was going to say to her.

"I want to fix things between us, Hermione. I cut things off with her the night before last. That's where I was. I'm sorry," he whispered, ashamed of his actions he dropped his eyes away from her face fighting the tears that were forming in his own eyes.

She brought her hand up to his chin to pull his attention to her face. Reluctantly, he looked up at her.

"I'm sorry, Hermione," he repeated quietly.

"I know," she whispered. She leaned forward placing her lips against his briefly.

He looked at her for a moment after the simple kiss, confused as to why she would even want to do such a sweet thing after everything he'd done to her.

"Why?" he whispered.

"For the words unspoken," she said before she kissed him again. "We'll get through this, together."