It Ends Tonight
Your subtleties
They strangle me
I can't explain myself at all.
And all the wants
And all the needs
All I don't want to need at all.
Prince Jonathan of Conté looked at Sir Alanna of Trebond and Olau, who was visibly seething. "Alanna…what's wrong?" he asked gently, touching her arm. She yanked away from his touch.
"You ordered my things ready?" she demanded. Jonathan looked surprised.
"Well…yes," he replied. "If we're to be married, preparations need to start at once." He brushed stray strands of hair from her violet eyes. "My parents will be worried." Alanna nearly melted at his touch. She wanted to tell him okay. She wanted to go with him. She wanted to marry him…
But what about her promise? What about how she swore she would never marry or fall in love?
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe
it's best you leave me alone.
A
weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
Alanna started to feel dizzy. She loved him, she truly did. But…could she be queen? She shook her head and stepped away. "No, Jonathan."
"No what?" he asked, expressive bright sapphire eyes unreadable. "No what, Alanna?" He stepped closer to her, even as she backed away. She locked her eyes on his own.
"I will not marry you."
When darkness turns to light,
It ends tonight
It ends tonight.
Jonathan peered at her. Her violet eyes were lit only by the candles in the otherwise dark tent.
"You won't marry me," he repeated slowly.
"No. I won't," she told him. "And I won't be your whore either."
A falling star
Least I fall alone.
I can't explain what you can't explain.
You're finding things that you didn't know
I look at you with such disdain
Jonathan was taken aback. "You're not my whore," he told her. "You never have been." He took a deep breath and rubbed his temples like she was giving him a headache. "Alanna, I just…Alanna." He met her eyes once again. "I love you. Isn't that enough to warrant marrying me?"
"Jonathan…I made a promise," she whispered. "A promise that I wouldn't fall in love…that I wouldn't get married."
Jonathan's eyes filled with a disgust Alanna never remembered seeing before. "'Wouldn't fall in love'?" he asked her. "Then what was all of this? A lie?"
The walls start breathing
My mind's unweaving
Maybe
it's best you leave me alone.
A
weight is lifted
On this evening
I give the final blow.
"What?" The walls of Alanna's tent were spinning. "No…Jonathan, no."
"You didn't want to love anyone. You made a promise," he spat. "Does that mean you were lying to me? You're willing to break one promise but not another?"
"No!" Alanna cried. "That's not it at all!"
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
"That's what it sounds like." Jonathan shook his head. "I never thought you would do this Alanna. You of all people."
"Do what?" Alanna's eyes narrowed. "Do what?"
"Play these…games. These games with my heart, with my affections…" Jonathan shook his head, which was really starting to irk Alanna.
"Games," she scoffed. "Since when do I know how to play games?"
"I don't know, Alanna," Jonathan replied. "Why don't you tell me?" They held each other's eyes for a long moment. Finally, Jonathan said, "You know what? I don't need this."
"Don't need what?" Alanna asked sarcastically. "These 'games' I'm playing?"
"No," he replied. "I don't need you."
Now I'm on my own side
It's better than being on your side
It's my fault when your blind
It's better that I see it through your eyes
That was the last straw for Alanna. "You've never needed me, Jonathan! I was some toy…just a warm form in your bed every night!"
"No." Jonathan looked at her. "I love you—loved you." The past tense stung her. "I now know why you didn't want to love, Alanna." He was now in the doorway, looking back at her. "Love hurts more than I could've imagined." He walked out, leaving Alanna staring at the emptiness inside.
All these thoughts locked inside
Now you're the first to know
"I could've done it," Alanna whispered. "I could've been with him forever." She collapsed onto her knees and turned her face to the ceiling of the tent. "Goddess, what have I done? I've lost the only love I've ever felt."
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
As Alanna was crumpling into tears, Jonathan was mounting his black horse, Darkness.
"Where's Alanna?" Myles of Olau, Jonathan's companion and Alanna's adoptive father, asked.
"She's not coming with us," Jonathan replied, avoiding the older man's gaze. "Come on. Let's go home. I'm sick of the desert." He clucked to Darkness, who actively responded with a flowing canter. Myles watched the Prince ride off. He turned back to his daughter's tent, wondering what he should do. With a sigh, he nudged his horse to follow Jonathan.
When darkness turns to light
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.
Just a little insight won't make this right
It's too late to fight
It ends tonight,
It ends tonight.