*cough*

Here is the (somewhat) complete guide on writing a Victorious fanfiction, please keep in mind these important facts.

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One.

Tori/Jade must be a bitch, depending if you're fic is omg!Bori or omg!Bade. The other characters rarely show up, only filling in pointless diolouge and "filler chapters", which are probably just excuses to get omgsomanymoar reviews to update, which, fyi, will only be one word. A whole sentence you ask? Psh! Unheard of, my friend!

Back to bitch!Tori/Jade.

If this is a Bade fic, then Tori must be a complete slut, who has no compassion for Jade whatsoever. She will make perverted and omgsofucking "sexy", comments; Jade will then proceed to tightly grab Beck's arm, snarl at Tori, and then be completely out of character and break down in Beck's RV later, confessing that she is just so in love with him, and she is actually vulnerable and weak. They will then kiss, and have sex, because that's all they do, right? Of course, of course.

If you are writing a Bori fic, then Jade must be a heartless, low-life, bitch that has a black hole for a heart and so conscious. Beck will come up to Tori one day, and confess spontaneously that he had just broken up with Jade, with no hint of sadness or remorse. (What. So. Ever.) Tori will then feel sorry for Jade, because even though her kindness is unparallel to Jade's, she is the perfect angel we just all know and love. Beck will then confess that he couldn't stop thinking about her, cheesily, I might add, and then give Tori a chaste kiss on the lips, even though he just dumped his two-year girlfriend about… ten minutes ago. But Tori and Beck's love will PREVAIL ALL SLUTS WITH PEIRCINGS AND STREAKED HAIR, BECAUSE THEY ARE JUST. THAT. AWESOME.

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Omg, Number Two.

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The way you write is very {i/m_portnt.] you must write in all lowercase, with t/o/n/s of b-e-a-utiful symbols, because it's like so pretty, and no one can read what hell you've just written. But, alas, this only applies for one-shots, because one-shots are always filled with suicide and OMG ANGST and eating disorders, and anything else does not deserve the beauty of fucked up letters.

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(to be continued…)

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A/N: And that's all I've come up with so far… no this is not a parody of fics, thank god that most of the Victorious fanfiction here is amazing, but there are a few that are kind of sort of ridiculous. I've also noticed the fads or whatever, and I've made a guide on how to put these into action, and make the best Victorious fanfiction evar.

I need suggestions, so please review!~

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