Okay I have this idea in my head for a long time, but it has not come out the way it is in my head but I like the way I has come out
so please R&R
For the last seven years I have loved her from a far, I had watched her from behind my desk while doing paperwork or going over a case file, I have also seen her watching me, when she thought I am not looking, but I cannot live like this any more, loving her in secret and making out to everyone that I hate her.
It's time to let my true feelings show and to finally tell Sara the truth, so I decided to push my paperwork aside and head toward Grissom office, I pop my head into Grissom office quickly just so I could tell him that my sister called to tell me that Lindsey was not feeling well and that I had to leave.
I then head to the locker room to grab my bag and jacket from my locker, before opening Greg locked and taking out his keys so I could take Sara key off his keyring, I knew what key was Sara because I was there, when Sara gave Greg her apartment Key because he had agree to dog sit for her when she went away last month to new York on a case she had been working on.
On the way to Sara apartment I stop off at a flower shop to buy a singe red rose before going to buy some red wine then heading to Sara's apartment.
Once I get to Sara apartment I knock on the door, as it's Sara night off and she might be at home, it not really her night off but Sara had asked if she could have the night off, which she never does unless force by Grissom, so I can't help but wonder why she took tonight off for, but come to think of it Sara has been taking more time off lately, well every other weekend, well I can always asks her about taking time off later when I see her.
After a minute or two with no answer I open the door very slowly using the key I took from Greg's locker no sooner did I open the door Sara dog comes running toward me, I say hello to her as I try to get into the apartment and closed the door behind me, the apartment is in darkness with only the light from the street below coming through the windows.
I make my way across the apartment very slowly and very carefully toward the bedroom, the bedroom is darker then the rest of the apartment so I take out my phone out of my pocket to use the light.
I put the rose on the pillow before placing the wine on the night-stand next to the bed, I then start looking around for a piece of paper so I can leave a notice, but as I start to look for some paper, Sara's dog began to bark before running off out of the bedroom.
"WOW! easy girl" I hear Sara say and my heart starts to beat faster "Jo I like you to meet Miley" I hear Sara tell someone named Jo
"Hello Miley, oh Sara she is lovely" Jo tells Sara "and so friendly" I hear her say
"only if she knows you or if you come home with me of course" Sara told Jo, I hear a little laugh coming from both of them before it go's quiet, but I think I hear what sounds like kissing
"mmm I missed you Sara" I hear Jo say to Sara before what sounds like more kissing
"i missed you as well and I am about to show you just how much" Sara says before I hear footstep's coming toward the bedroom so I grab the wine and rose before hiding under the bed and then I realise that was a very bad idea, but I do not have time to hide anywhere else.
Just then the bedroom door opens and all I can see are feet, I know what one's are Sara because only Sara would wear boots that ugly, so the woman in heels must be Jo, I am glad to know that Sara is find in having a relationship with other woman.
"Jo, can you gave me one minute" Sara asks Jo then I watch as Jo takes off her heels "that much better my feet were killing me in those heels" Sara said, since when did Sara even own a pair of heels ?.
For the next hour or so I do my best to try an block out the sound of them having sex above my head, my heart is breaking right now, I wish I was the one in that bed with Sara, Kissing her, holding her. making love to her, I really envy Jo.
After god know how long they finish having sex "i really have missed you Sara" Jo tells Sara for god knows how many times tonight "so have you thought about it?" Jo asks Sara after they breathing returns to normal, What are they talking about?
"I have been thinking about it, but I just don't know if I can" Sara tells Jo
"what there to think about Sara? I love you, my Children like you we could be a family, what do you really have here in Vegas ?" Jo asks Sara and it sounds like Jo is trying to talk Sara into leaving Vegas Leaving me, I can't let that happen
"i know your right, but I do not know if I am ready to take that step yet" Sara tells Jo, good girl Sara
"well I am not leaving until the end of the week, so you still got time to think about coming back to New York with me" Jo tells Sara, look Lady Sara staying in Vegas with me, so fuck off
"i need to walk Miley" Sara tell Jo before I see her getting out of bed "want to come with us?" Sara asks her
"of course I would love to go for a walk with you and Miley" Jo answer Sara question "and if you come to new York with me, we could go on walks with Miley every night and if we do had to work late the Children can take her for a walk, because they had be asking me for year if I could get them a dog" Jo tells Sara as she also gets out of bed, I let a tear run down my face as I listen to them, that should be me and Sara talking about walking the dog and being a family, I know Lindsey would love to have Sara as her other mother because Lindsey think Sara is totally cool, her words not mine.
"what if I do go back with you, then what about a job?" Sara asks Jo and of course she would asks about work
"there is an opening at the Lab's and I already talked to Mac and he say if you choose to come back with me then it's your" Jo tells Sara, no please Sara don't leave me
"before I say yes, to going back with you, there something you need to know" Sara say as I watch her feet walk toward Jo "i want a baby of my very own and you already have two children, do you want more?" Sara asks Jo, Children ? How long have those two been together ? Sara only when to new York last month, so what have they only been dating a month and already they are talking about moving in together but having a baby together as well, what the fuck Sara why would you do this after only knowing her for a month.
"i always wanted another children and if I can have a child with you then yes Sara let have a child together" Jo tells Sara before giving her a kiss "what are you going to tell everyone ?" Jo asks Sara, no no no this is not happening I need to say something.
"the truth, that I found this amazing woman last year and I fall head over heels in love with her and we are going to start a family" Sara tells Jo well at less they known each other for more then a month, but I can't believe I am going to lose Sara, I need to say something I need to stop her from leaving "c'mon let go for that walk" Sara says as they put on they shoes before going into the next room I hear Sara call for Miley telling her it time for a walk, I wait under the bed until I hear the door open and close.
I slowly made my way out from under the bed, I get to my feel and leave the bedroom as I can't stay in that room as the smell of sex is still in the air, I sit on the couch and cry, but only for about five minute as I can't stay to long because I don't know how long they are going to be walking Miley.
As I walk out of Sara's apartment building I throw the rose into a nearby bin and get back into my car before starting to drive home as I told Grissom, Lindsey was not feeling well so I may as well take the rest of the night off and get drunk from the wine, while I try and come up with a way to keep Sara here in Vegas with me.
Just as I stop at a red light I feel my phone going off letting me know that I got a text, so I take my phone out of my pocket, it from Sara asking me to meet her at a café across from the CSI lab's
I don't want to go but for some reason my fingers have a mind of they own as I find myself texting her back saying I will be there in about 15minute's, so I turn the car around and head toward the café to meet up with Sara, I just hope Jo will not been there, but something tells me she will be, but I do not care I need to stop Sara from leaving one way or the other.
I park the car and walk into the café as soon as I walk in I spot Sara and Jo right away, I guess Miley is in the back playing with someone just like always, i walk over to them "Hi Sara who your friend ?" I asks as I not meet her before so I need to act like I had no idea who she is, which apart from knowing she has sex with Sara and trying to get Sara to leave me, I do not know the first thing about her, that I just had to play nice for now!.
"Cath... this is Jo she is a CSI from new York... she staying with me for a week while she is in Vegas" Sara tells me as I sit down "Cath... I want you to be the first to know... after everything we been through together... from the fights while I first came to Vegas to becoming friends and us spending time together with Lindsey" Sara start off by telling me, but stopped talking when the witness came over to the table with coffee for me.
I drink my coffee as I listen to Sara tell me about her relationship with Jo and her plains to move to new York, I want to say something but something is stopping me
"but wait a minute Sara, this is going very fast Sara, you two only met last month when you were to new York" I say knowing full well they met a year ago, but I can't tell them I know that
"no Catherine we never met a month ago, we met over a year ago in San Francisco, you remember I had to go back there for a friends wedding?" Sara asks me and I do remember because Sara had asks me to go with her, but I had to stay here in Vegas to help my sister look after mum after she had her heart attack
"yes I remember" I tell Sara, why am I not saying anything to stop this from happing?
"well anyway my friend's husband to be at the time, is good friends with Jo, so Jo was also at the wedding and we got seated at the same table, we talked we danced, we have some drinks and we ended up hooking up" Sara tells me and all I wanted was to cry again, if it have not been for my mother heart attack then I would of gone to that wedding then me and Sara would of hooked up.
"after the wedding we kept in touch" Jo said talking for the first time since I got here and for the first time since I got here I really look at Jo, she has brunette hair and brown eyes, she looks about the same age as me maybe older, then she looked at Sara and I see nothing but love in her eyes.
"two weeks after I got back from the wedding Grissom made me take the weekend off, so I when to new York to spend the weekend there, before I knew it I was spending my weekends in New York, well when I did not have plains with Lindsey" Sara tells me, her and Lindsey had been spending a lot of time together over the last three years and because of they friendship it has brought me and Sara closer together, so I am guessing that while Sara wanted to tell me before anyone else
"and what about your dog Miley you only gave Greg the keys last month, so did you take her with you? And why had I never met you before now?" I asks Jo the last bit
"before last month I had a dog sitter but she was ill last month that while I asked Greg to take care of Miley and last month was the first time me and Jo got to work together" Sara tells me while smiling at Jo and I can also see the look of love in Sara's eyes as well, maybe that why I can't really stop Sara moving because she is happy.
"and the reason you never met me before is because I am a mother, so it not so easy for me to just up and leave for the weekend" Jo tells me and I know what she means
Sara and Jo tell me a little more about they relationship and as I sit there listening to them I can see even more that they do love each other and it breaks my heart. But I had seven years to work out my feeling for Sara and to do something about it, so as much as it hurts I need to let Sara go and try to be happy for her.
That night I go home and get as drunk as I can while crying my heart out before passing out, the next night Jo meets the rest of the team and of course they love her and everyone is upset that Sara is leaving but at the same time are happy for her.
Before Sara leaves Vegas she spends a whole day with Lindsey, she told Lindsey that she was welcome to visit her in New York, Jo left at the end of the week and a week later Sara left as well, she left Vegas never knowing how I felt about her.
I did come close to telling her after Jo left, but seeing how happy she was, I could not do it, because I had never seen Sara so happy
a year later everyone got invited to the wedding of Sara Sidle and Jo Danville in New York, a year after they got married we was invited back to new York for the christening of they son Mason Sidle Danville.
After the christening we all when back to Sara and Jo home, they have a lovely house, as I was talking to Lindsey Monroe who works at the new York labs, I see Sara leaving out the back door so I excuse myself and follow her outside.
I see her sitting under a tree with baby Mason
"he really is beautiful Sara" I says as I walked closer to her
"thanks Cath" Sara said as I sit down next to her, after all this time I am still so in love with her but it does not hurt as must because I know she is happy "looking at him, I know I made the right decision two years ago" Sara tells me and I give her a look
"What do you mean Sara?" I asks her
"two years ago, I was not really sure if I should leave Vegas, mainly because I had feeling for someone else" Sara tells me and my heart jumped a little
"who?" I ask Sara with a little hope in my voice, but I felt sad as well
"you, Catherine, I had feeling for you, I know it silly because you could nothing feel that way about me, but it does not matter any more, because I have Jo who I love more then anything and now I have Mason" Sara say giving Mason a kiss on his forehead "i should put him down for a nap" Sara tells me as she gets up
"Sara wait" I call after her as I get up and walk over to her "i do Sara, I do had feeling for you, I did then and I still had feeling for you, I know we can never be, but I thought you should know" I tells Sara before leaning in and giving her a kiss on her lips, she did not kiss me back but she did nothing to stop me.
I pull back from the kiss and walk back toward the house, "oh by the way I was there that night I was going to tell you I loved you, I ended up hiding under your bed" I tell Sara over my shoulder so I did not have to look at her face, as I know the shocked look she has on her face.
I say my goodbye to everyone before leaving to go back to the hotel, the next day I go back to Vegas and I never saw Sara again, but that kiss I kept close to my heart.
I never remarried, I did date of course none of them lasted more then six months, five years after Sara left Vegas I left myself to go to DC to work with the FBI.
It funny the things we think of just before we die, I am lying here on the floor covered in my own blood about to die and the only thing I can think of is the time I let Sara get away, well my darling Sara, maybe we can be together in another life.
I love you Sara goodbye
then everything go's dark
THE END
thanks for reading, and for those of you who are reading SHE NOT CATHERINE I am still working on the next chapter and I am hoping it will be up very soon