The Consultant Who Lived
A/N - What would happen if Patrick Jane met Harry Potter? In my head this would happen…
DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, every time I write this I feel more depressed. I want to own Simon Baker!
"What do you mean by 'strange case' exactly?" Patrick Jane asked his Boss curiously as he got out of his lovely, modern, blue car at the crime scene. Wow, it really did look shabby next to the SUV.
Lisbon glared at him, wow, that bad?, "By 'strange' I mean these people are perfectly healthy!" She exclaimed.
Jane raised an eyebrow at her, "Perfectly healthy, yet dead?" He asked.
"Yes I know you think I'm crazy but I'm serious!" Lisbon said in annoyance, "This is why I'm stressed!"
Jane raised his hands in a gesture of defeat, "Perfectly healthy dead people."
"Its normal if you know what killed them." A new voice said, causing Jane and Lisbon to swivel around to see a young man wearing a checked shirt and glasses. He had long dark messy hair and a strange shaped scar on his forehead, "I'm Harry."
Lisbon looked at the odd boy strangely. Jane on the other hand grinned, "I'm Patrick." He said as he shook Harry's outstretched hand.
"This is Teresa." He added, pointing at Lisbon who smiled at Harry.
"So what killed them?" Jane asked casually.
Harry looked around and then motioned for Jane and Lisbon to come with him. He led them into an old shed and took out a wooden stick. He waved it around and said some words then looked at the baffled pair.
"I'm Harry Potter, I'm a Wizard and you are both in great danger." He said, putting his wooden stick back in his pocket.
"A wizard?" Lisbon asked, sceptical of course.
"Why are we in trouble?" Jane asked curiously.
"Yes a Wizard." Harry replied, "And I'm not supposed to talk to muggles, it's against the rules but this is important and you are family." He said, talking to Jane now, "Your wife Angela had a cousin named Lily, do you remember?" He asked.
Jane nodded, looking very confused, "Vaguely, she was young when I met her."
"She was a Witch and she was my Mother." Harry explained.
"Whoa, hold up a minute, what is a 'muggle'? and what do you mean by was? What happened to Lily?" Jane asked, catching up with the conversation.
"She died." Harry said with a frown, "18 years ago when I was one year old." He seemed to be shocked that Jane hadn't known this, "Oh, I hadn't heard about Lily." He admitted.
"And a muggle is someone who doesn't possess magical qualities by the way." Harry added, answering Janes question and also changing the subject.
"So you're a 'Wizard' and you are here to help us." Jane said, still sounding sceptical, a little sarcastic too perhaps.
"Yes, I know you don't believe I'm a Wizard but I am and yes I'm here to help you."
"With what?" Lisbon asked, she sounded annoyed, she thought this crackpot was wasting their time, time that could be used to solve the case.
"You're hunting a criminal aren't you? Been on his trail for years but haven't found anything, Red John, right?" Harry asked, but it seemed he already knew the answers to his own questions.
"What do you know about him?" Lisbon asked quickly. Her hand twitching as she prepared to reach for her gun.
"A lot more than you do." Harry told her, eying her gun as he sat down on an empty wooden crate.
"Elaborate." Lisbon ordered.
"The reason you can't catch him is because he's a Wizard. He apparates as soon as he's committed the murder." Harry began, but already he was bombarded with questions.
"What the hell does that mean?" Lisbon asked, her arms crossed as she glared at him.
"Apparation is a form of teleportation. You think of where you want to go, click your fingers and you are there, its easy and it makes catching someone who can do it hard, especially when you can't." Harry explained and as crazy as it all sounded it kind of made sense.
"The reason those people seem perfectly healthy but are dead is because he used a spell called 'Avada Kedavra' on them, it kills them instantly, stops their heart so they seem healthy but they are stone dead, its how Lord Voldemort killed my parents." Harry told them.
"Who is Lord Voldemort?" Jane asked.
"He was a bad guy, a really bad guy who was impossible to kill. I got him last year eventually, took me about 7 years though." Harry said nonchalantly, "He killed my parents and tried to take over the World, he basically wanted all muggles and muggle-borns, who are people that are born magical from a non magical family, to be wiped out. Sort of like the Nazi's and Jews. In magical terms you are either a pureblood which means somewhere down the line everyone is related because there are so few purebloods in the World that they are all interbred, a half-blood which means somewhere down the line there is muggle blood or a muggle-born, which I just explained to you."
Jane frowned, he actually was starting to believe this guy. Lisbon snorted, "I think you need to go back to Bedlam." She muttered.
Harry rolled his eyes and took out his wand, he pointed it at Lisbon and said, "Levi Corpus." She flew into the air and hovered there, her eyes almost popped out of her head, "What the hell are you doing? Put me down!" She screeched.
Harry did so, and put his wand away, "Believe me now?" He asked, his tone challenging.
He turned back to Jane, "Anyway this Red John guy was a death eater, one of Voldemort's biggest followers and when Voldemort was killed by yours truly he retreated to the muggle world to terrorise muggles and as much as we try we can't catch him. He likes playing with them, their like toys in his game because he knows that they can't fight back and knows that he'll win in a fight so he takes his sweet time."
"And he's getting bored of playing with you." Harry added to Jane, "Soon he's going to kill you, which is why I'm here to help you."
"I don't understand something." Jane said, interrupting Harry, "He chopped my wife and child up, they didn't die healthy with nothing wrong with them but hearts that didn't beat."
Harry nodded, "One of the crueller illegal spells, its called Sectumsempra. It slashes you apart, depending on where you hit the person it can kill them instantly or slowly and any body part lost to the spell can't be magically grown back. I know a guy who lost an ear to it…" He trailed off, "Red John is either killing people with Sectumpsempra or Avada Kedavra and he's using the Imperius Curse on people to get them to do his bidding. For example, Grace Van Pelt had the Imperius Curse on her, I took it off but he might put it back on, she was spying on you and giving Red John all the information he needed.
"What? Grace would never do that!" Lisbon exclaimed, hating this guy more by the second.
"You are correct, she wouldn't." Harry agreed, "But the Imperius Curse is a spell used to control someone, you can learn to fight it but it is very difficult. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a few people in the building imperiused so I'd be careful if I were you." Harry informed Jane, and also Lisbon, which confused her, Red John wanted Jane, not her, right?
"So what are you going to do about him then, if we can't catch him?" Jane asked, he truly believed Harry was genuine, he knew a liar and Circus tricks when he saw them and the guy had just levitated Lisbon, he wasn't a normal guy for sure.
"I'm going to catch him." Harry said, as though this should have been obvious, "That's why I'm here. He will have detected my spells of protection, as soon as he breaks through them he'll try to kill me so that he can finish what his master started, but I'll kill him before it gets to that." He was talking about killing so casually that it made Jane and Lisbon wonder how often he did this.
"And do you do this often?" Jane asked, eying Lisbon a little warily.
"Oh yeah, all the time." Harry said casually, "I'm an Auror, I kill dark Wizards for a living." He glanced at the door again, "He's almost through my protection spells." He muttered, "You two are the problem now, if anyone gets killed it will be you, get out of here and I'll meet you once I'm done with this guy."
Harry showed them a way out via the back of the shed that led them out onto the lake. They hid in the small boathouse and watched the shed a few yards away for a sign of movement.
"Do you think that guy is for real?" Lisbon whispered.
"Seems like it." Jane replied in a whisper.
"Seems like he's crazy more like." Lisbon muttered.
"Doesn't mean he's lying." Jane muttered back.
Suddenly there was a flash of green light that seemed to envelope the shed and then vanished. Jane and Lisbon shielded their eyes and when they looked back to the shed it was to see Harry gesturing at them to come back. Once they had they found Red John cold on the floor.
Harry kicked the guys mask off, revealing that he was a man with long dark hair, and almost yellow skin, "Well that's your Red John."
"Thanks for your help Harry." Jane said, with a grin.
"My pleasure." Harry replied, "Well I'd better be getting back." He said, checking a strange watch with about 5 hands on it, "Gin says the tea is on the table."
"See you guys around." Harry grinned and clicked his fingers and just like that he was gone.
"Well Lisbon, I think it's safe to say that he is indeed a Wizard." Jane mused, but got no response, "Lisbon?" He said, turning around to find her on the floor.
She had fainted.
The End.
A/N - Just a bit of fun, very badly written! But how the heck can you incorporate Harry Potter and the Mentalist into the same fic without it being a bit ridiculous? Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed!
Thanks for reading! Xxx